by J. L. Ostle
Telling the hostess the name, I’m led through tables until I see my Mom laughing. Her face is glowing. She spots me and stands, walking quickly over to me and giving me a hug. She places her hand in mine and guides me to her table and I close my eyes until we stop. I reopen them and see the man who has made my Mom happy again.
He isn’t what I was expecting. He seems younger for his age. He has dark brown hair and light green eyes. He looks familiar in a weird way. Like I have seen him somewhere before. He stands and extends his hand.
“You must be the beautiful Sasha. Your mother talks dearly of you.” I place my hand in his, giving him a warm smile.
“My mother does the same with you. Thank you so much for taking time out to meet me.” He helps me to my seat.
“You are very well mannered. I would have loved to meet you sooner, but work, unfortunately, has been crazy and the free time I did have, I spent with your mother.” He smiles affectionately to her.
“Oh, Xander.” She waves him off. A waiter comes over, filling my glass with infused water and not long after another waiter comes and asks if we are ready to order.
“We are still waiting for my son.” I notice how he says son in a tense voice. The waiter nods and leaves us. “I am so sorry, my son does like to make an appearance.” Mom places her hand over his and his facial features soften.
“It’s okay. I’m sure he will be here soon.” She then looks to me and I mouth son? He has a son? It’s not just him I have to get used to. It’s a son who seems to be a twat. He’s running late which shows he has no common courtesy.
I’m sitting there playing with my water glass as I watch my Mom go all googly eyes and when they share a kiss, I stand, excusing myself. “I just need to use the bathroom. Please excuse me.” I smile and start walking away but I hear him talk about how pleasant I seem.
I’m heading outside to get some fresh air when I see Colin walk in wearing a light gray suit and my mouth drops. He looks so much older. My body starts to hum just being this close to him. His eyes land on mine and images of him and me earlier today flies in and I need to tighten my thighs as I want round number two. I have ached all day but in a good way. It’s like a reminder where he has been.
“Sasha, what are you doing here?” he asks as he stands in front of me. I hate that he smells so good.
“I’m meeting the mystery man.” He nods in understanding and I see sadness in his eyes.
“I was going to come meet him with you.” I remember. “I’m meeting my father, so I’ll let you go.” Him just saying the last sentence breaks something inside me. I don’t want him to let me go. He starts walking to the hostess desk when I grab his hand and drag him down a corridor that leads to the bathrooms and I open the disabled toilets and push him inside, my lips landing on his.
He cups the back of my head as I place my hands on his shoulders. I push his body against the door and start rubbing myself against him like a cat in heat. I feel his erection press against me and I start unzipping him with fumbled fingers and once he’s free, I wrap my hand around him. He moans and his head falls back at the contact.
“I need you inside me,” I say breathlessly. His eyes go straight to mine.
“Are you not sore?” he asks, concern in his eyes, making me fall for him deeper.
“In a good way. Please, Colin. I need you.” He twirls me around so my back is to the door and he lifts one of my legs so it’s around his waist and I feel the head of his dick press against my entrance. He slowly starts entering me, filling me up.
“Fuck, you feel so good.” He groans.
“So fucking good.” My body arches. His lips caress my neck to the top of my breasts. Then with one quick motion, he thrusts quickly in me, causing me to scream in ecstasy. He slowly starts to glide out and enter back in. Teasing me. “I’m not made from glass. You won’t break me.” His eyes bore into mine, reading me. Then like a switch, he changes. He goes all caveman.
He thrusts hard and fast. Our bodies banging against the door. My hands are on his shoulders still as his fingers dig into my thighs. I’m begging for more and he soon flips me so my back is now to his front. He pulls my ass out a little and I feel his dick back at my entrance before he slides back in. Fuck… it feels deeper this way.
My hands are flat to the door and he thrusts over and over in a perfect rhythm until I scream out his name when my release hits me. It doesn’t take long until he joins me. He presses my body against the door and all I can hear is our heavy breathing.
I soon feel him move away from me, the heat that was surrounding me gone. I turn, pulling my dress down and see him adjusting himself. I pat down my hair and lean against the door, watching him.
“You can’t keep doing this,” he tells me and I look at him confused. “You can’t use me anytime you want. I probably deserve to feel like this. I’ve done it to plenty. But you doing it to me…” He looks to the ceiling then back to me. “It hurts after.” He places his hand on his heart.
I walk towards him slowly and press my hand to the one covering his heart. I look slowly up at him. “I own your heart… like you own mine,” I say softly.
“You mean…”
“If you still want me.” He lifts me, twirling me around.
“Of course I still want you.” He holds me. “All I want is you. Always you.” I smile, tears prickling my eyes.
“Just no more lies. We tell each other everything.”
“Deal.” He kisses me. “So, you are mine again?”
I nod. “I was always yours.” He kisses me again; my lips, cheeks, nose, until he is back to my lips again.
“I hate that I need to sit with my dad or I would be taking you out on a fancy date. We still haven’t don’t that yet.”
“Because we keep making out and getting side tracked,” I joke.
“But not now. Now I’m going to treat you like a princess. I’m going to take you out on so many dates that your head will spin.”
“I’m not complaining.” He twirls me again. “I need to get back or my mom will start to worry.”
“Message me once your dinner is over and I’ll try and get away, too.”
“Okay.” He kisses me one more time and I smile all the way back to my table.
“You were gone awhile. Are you okay?” Mom asks me.
“I feel a little hot.” I press my palms to my cheeks. I know I’m all flushed so saying I feel hot makes it look better than her knowing I just had sex in this posh place.
“Do you need anything?”
“I’m okay. I just needed fresh air.” I lie.
“We can reschedule,” Xander says. “My son is being useless like always, so if you need to rest…”
“I’m fine. Really. But thank you.” He gives me a smile and we open our menus and my head is glued to the words when I feel my body vibrate and I know that he’s near.
“It is about time you arrived,” I hear Xander say. “Sorry ladies for my son’s rudeness, but Marie, Sasha, this is my son Colin.” My eyes go wide and my blood goes cold. I place the menu down and look up, praying it’s another Colin, but nope, the man standing there is my Colin. His eyes go to mine and I see the shock there as well.
“Dad, what’s going on?” He looks to me and my mom.
“Sit, I want you to meet the woman I’m dating and her beautiful daughter.” Colin sits opposite me and we just look at one another.
“I didn’t even know you were dating,” Colin says.
“Xander, I thought you were going to tell him,” my mom says.
“I honestly thought I did.” He looks at his son and his eyes aren’t warm towards him. I remember everything Colin has said. He’s never there. They don’t ever talk. This man spends more time with my mom than with his son.
That is just wrong.
“I am so sorry, Colin, for just springing all this on you,” Mom says sweetly. “I’m Marie and I really do care so much for your father.” She smiles at Xander who smiles in return.
; “It’s okay,” Colin says, looking to his hands.
“Your father says that you play sports.” Mom tries to make conversation with him.
“Football.”
“You hear that, honey?” Mom looks to me. “Could you imagine if he was one of the guys who had to help out with the talent show?” Mom laughs and I start to feel sick.
“What guys?” Xander asks.
“Well there is one guy on the football team and a few of his friends that had to help Sasha with her talent show. Just saying, wouldn’t it be a small world if they met before now?” I bite my lip.
“I’m actually surprised you two never met before.” Xander takes a drink of his water.
“If he’s on the football team we wouldn’t.” Colin’s eyes are on me. “I’m a music nerd and in high school, it’s like being in a different country.” Xander nods.
“I hate that you call yourself that.” Mom shakes her head.
“I don’t mind,” I say. The waiter comes back and we all place our orders even though I’m not really hungry.
We eat and talk but the longer the meal, the more I start to feel sick. Why would this happen to me? I’m finally happy, I’ve fallen in love, and the world throws this at me.
After desserts, we all get cups of coffees and teas and Xander starts tapping his cup with his spoon. I look over at him and he has a proud look on his face.
“I want to thank you both for coming to meet one another…”
“Even though I didn’t know they existed,” Colin says under his breath but I heard it and from the look on his dad's face, so did he.
“Marie and I have spent a lot of time together and we both know that life is too short. We need to grab happiness where we can.” I look to Colin and his eyes are on me and a tear falls so I quickly wipe it away. “I have fallen for this woman. This amazing, caring, sweet woman.” Mom blushes. “I asked for her hand in marriage and she accepted.” I look up at him and everything I ate starts to swirl in my stomach. I am going to be sick.
“You what?” Colin asks.
“We are going to get married. Next month.” The place starts to spin.
They are going to get married. Colin is going to be my stepbrother. I wouldn’t be able to be with him.
“You can’t do this.” Colin stands angrily. “I didn’t even know she existed and then you just throw all this on me.”
“You watch your tone, boy.”
“Why should I? You didn’t even have the nerve to tell me that there was a woman in your life. You didn’t let me process any of this. You just throw it on me and expect me to accept it.”
“Colin, this has nothing to do with you.”
Colin huffs. “You are my dad, I am your son. This has everything to do with me. You’re giving me a stepmother and a… a…” He can’t even say the word.
“Honey, I am so sorry that we…” Mom stands.
“This isn’t your fault. You didn’t know,” he says nicely to my mom. “This is the man you want to marry? He treats his son like he doesn’t exist. This is probably the first time I’ve seen him in two months.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic,” Xander says.
“Okay then, you tell me when the last time we saw each other was.” Xander opens his mouth and then closes it again.
“I love Marie and we are marrying each other.” Colin sits back down.
“Honey, you haven’t said anything.” Mom looks to me. I don’t know if I can even form words.
“Don’t you think you are rushing it?” I say softly.
“I love him, sweetie, you know how short life can be. You go to college soon and we want this to happen before you both drift off.” She looks to me and to Colin.
“You know I will support you no matter what.” Tears fall from my eyes. “I just want you to be happy.” She hugs me, thinking my tears are for her.
But they aren’t.
It’s for the boy I’m losing sitting opposite me.
Colin
My world is crashing around me. I finally got the girl of my dreams back just to find out she is going to be my stepsister. It killed me to watch her falling apart and not being able do a thing to stop it.
After the meal, she wouldn’t look at me. She hasn’t been answering my messages or my calls. I need to hold her, to tell her things are going to be okay, but deep down I know it won’t be.
How can it?
I’m sitting on my car in the school parking lot waiting for her to arrive. She can ignore me but she can’t hide from me. I spot Karen’s car pull up and I jog over and when I see her, my heart breaks. She has dark circles under her eyes and it looks like she’s been crying. I drop my backpack and pull her into me and once she’s in my arms, she sobs into me.
“She told me what happened.” Karen comes to our side. “I am so sorry. It’s such a shitty thing.” I keep holding her and she tightens her hold onto me.
“What’s going on?” Aaron comes over.
“Come with me, they need some space.” Karen links her arm with his and they start to walk inside.
I start stroking her hair and soon I feel her body relax into me.
“I hate this,” she says into my chest.
“Me, too.” She pulls her head back and looks up to me.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
I palm her cheeks. “You never will.”
“But we can’t be together.” I look to the ground and then back to her. “We’re going to be family.” Tears flow down her cheeks.
“I’ll always be there for you, though. No matter what.”
“I want to be with you.” I feel tears prickle my eyes.
“I want to be with you, too, but…”
“We can't.” She steps back. “I better head to class.” She starts to walk away.
“Sasha,” I shout to her and she stops, biting her lip. “Can I walk you to class?” She gives me a watery smile and nods. I entwine my fingers with hers and walk her to class. We don’t say another word.
No more words are needed.
Sasha
I feel like I have drifted back through time. Before me and Colin ever said our first word to one another. He is back to sitting at his table at lunch. He doesn’t look my way through class and girls are once again surrounding him, thinking he is now available since he is no longer at my side.
Karen drove me home and I told her that I’m not in the mood to practice and to tell the guys. I just want to be on my own. I walk into my house, looking at the flat boxes at the far end of the living room. Mom told me yesterday that we will be moving in with Xander and Colin.
She hasn’t got the heart to sell the house so she and Xander agreed to rent it out. Another family is going to grow up here. The place my dad taught me everything. I grab my guitar from the garage and head to my room and sit on my bed.
I start to strum the strings and I feel once again that my body is breaking. I lost my dad and now I’m losing Colin. I will grow up seeing him turn into an amazing man and I will have to watch from the sidelines.
I will have to watch him follow his dreams, fall in love with someone else, get married, start a family. I press my hand to my heart and I feel like I’m in agony. My heart is literally breaking and I can’t do anything to stop it.
I start to play, tears never ending. I sing Kelly Clarkson ‘Behind These Hazel Eyes.’ I let the words seep into me. My soul is damaged and the only way I can heal is through music.
Music helped me get through my father’s death and now I need help to heal through a heartbreak. I shout out the words, my vision blurry but I don’t care. I listen to the words, linking them to how I feel.
I thought he was the one.
He was a part of me.
I am barely hanging on.
Each line I sing, I feel like I’m singing the song about me. I play it again a few more times. Waiting for the healing to begin.
I finish the song and my forehead rests on the guitar. “Daddy, I need you, more than ever.
” I sob, hugging the guitar to me. I feel someone rub my back and I turn to see Karen. I place my head in her lap and cry into her.
“It’s going to be okay. I know it will,” she tells me, but right now I don’t see how.
Sasha
I look at my new room and sigh. It’s beautiful. All my things are already put away and everything is so clean and in place. I see my guitar laying on my bed and go over to it, holding it. It’s been a month since the meal and they get married in three days.
Three days.
Colin is now a stranger. He has started to act out, getting into fights.
The worse thing…
He is sleeping around again. He’s been caught having sex on the football field, on the bleachers, the shower room. I think that hurt me the most when I found out. I just feel numb now. I can’t cry anymore. There are no tears left.
I walk out of my room and I stop when I see Colin standing there in nothing but his boxer shorts. My mouth hangs open seeing his nearly naked body. I have seen his chest so many times but it seems more toned, more muscular.
My body starts screaming for him.
His eyes are trailing over me and he notices that I’m only wearing a long shirt that hardly covers me. He takes a step towards me and my back hits the wall. His eyes land on mine and I feel like I’m seeing my Colin. The boy I fell for. He raises his hand, about to touch me. My eyes close and soon I hear a door opening and a girl’s voice.
“Colin, you ready to go again?” My eyes open and I see Sissy standing there in nothing but her bra and panties and she smiles wickedly at me. Wonder what Nicole would think about this.
I look to Colin and his eyes have gone emotionless again. He steps away from me and grabs Sissy’s hand, pulling her back into his room, slamming the door behind him and I fall down to the floor.
I close my eyes and breathe through my nose.
I know deep down he misses me, I miss him every day, but this is how he’s coping. I can’t be angry.