His Alone

by Alexa Riley

  “I love you,” I whisper.

  I want him to know, because I’ve never loved anyone like I love him. Never wanted to get lost in someone’s soul and tell him all my secrets. I don’t care anymore. I have nothing to lose. I’m taking him and never letting go.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ryan

  * * *

  HER DEEP BLUE eyes are filled with so many emotions as I stare down at her. The thing I see most in them is hope. Hope that I’m true to my word, hope that I don’t let her get away, hope that I won’t break her heart as she gently places it in my hands. My thumb continues to brush away tears, but inside, the adrenaline is pumping through my veins.

  She loves me.

  I’m unable to move as I hover over her, listening to her breathe. It’s a moment I want burned into my memory so that I can recall every single detail for the rest of my life. I take in her scent of lavender, imprinting her into my soul. There’s a part of my mind that worries she’s giving in only because she thought I’d cast her aside, but that doubt is quickly dashed. It’s only my insecurities that are trying to push through, and I ignore them. I knew that if I could get her to fall in love with me, then nothing else would matter. And so it shall be. I will make this the way it’s supposed to be and forget about the part of me that has doubt. The bigger part knows that she’s finally being honest with herself. I’ve known for a long time she felt the same way I did. She’s just been slower at getting to the point than I have.

  “I love you, Paige.” Leaning down, I rub my nose against hers and close my eyes. It scared the shit out of me when I thought she might run tonight, slip away from me and out of my grasp. The thought was unbearable. I know I haven’t been with her for years, but I always had eyes on her. Knew where she was and what she was doing. If I lost that, I think I might go insane.

  She moves her hands to my neck, and then our lips connect. It’s soft and tentative at first, as if she’s exploring me for the first time, making sure I’m really here, still a little unsure that I want her. But there’s a passion under the surface that’s beginning to create waves. A heat churning between us that I can feel building.

  Her lips are full against mine, and when I open my mouth, I feel her tongue sweep inside. She’s trying to take charge, but neither of us really wants that. She likes when I’m in control, even if she doesn’t admit it. But I feel the need in her kiss, and I know what she’s after. She’s trying to force me into what she wants, but she should know by now that it doesn’t work that way. I know what she needs. I set the pace for us because I want this to be perfect for her. I want everything to always be perfect for her.

  I reach behind my neck and take her wrists, gently pulling them away. I press her hands above her head, softly but firmly.

  “Not tonight, kitten,” I whisper, staring into her gorgeous blue eyes. Fighting myself. I’ve wanted her for so long, and even with all the tempting things she’s done to turn me on and try to get me to take her, her “I love you” was the fucking sexiest thing she’s ever done for me.

  I sense an intensity inside her that matches my own, but I don’t want her like this. I don’t want our first time to happen after I caught her sneaking around and made me spill her darkest secrets. I want it to be special and perfect, like she deserves.

  “Don’t make me wait any longer. Please, Ryan, haven’t we danced around this long enough? I’ve given you what you wanted. Make love to me.”

  I close my eyes, hating to deny her anything. “I want it to be special. You deserve candles and rose petals. Our first time will be with us the rest of our lives. It will be the memory that sticks with us when we’re old and gray and sharing Jell-O.” She smiles at me, and there couldn’t possibly be a more beautiful woman on this earth. “We’re going to tell our grandchildren one day about how we fell in love, and I want our whole story to be exactly what you deserve.”

  She wiggles one wrist free and brings her hand up to my cheek. “Everything about us is messy. The way we met, the way we fell in love.” She smiles like she surprised herself in saying that so easily. “The way I try to push you away when we both know all I want is to be in your arms. I’ve never had anything in my life as perfect as you, as perfect as this. Make love to me.”

  I drop my head to her chest, resting my forehead there. Breathing in her smell, I feel her other hand come free of my grip and dance across my back. She tugs at my dress shirt, pulling it from my pants and up my spin. She tugs it up to my shoulders, and I reluctantly let her take it off me. She discards it, and then I look down as she grips the hem of her own shirt. She pulls it off her body in one fluid motion and wiggles beneath me to unclasp her bra. She takes it off and throws it to the side with our shirts, and I let out a breath. She’s naked from the waist up, and it takes everything in me not to look down at her breasts. I want to so badly, but if I do I might lose control.

  “I love you, Ryan.” She says the words, and they’re like warm honey spread over my skin. She thinks I’m the perfect one, when it’s really her. She thinks she’s the one who’s been hiding things. I’ve known all the secrets she thinks she held from me. In reality, I’m the only person in the room with secrets. I’m not as perfect as she thinks I am. I should be the one baring myself to her right now, but she’s the one stripping herself bare.

  I close my eyes tightly, the tenderness of her words making my heart jump. She moves her hands between us, and I feel her fingers undoing my belt and then my pants. She pushes them down my waist and over my ass, exposing my cock. I keep my eyes closed, because I don’t know if I can control myself.

  “I can’t stand it anymore. I want to be connected to you in every way possible.” She places a soft kiss on my chest as I feel her move, taking off her own pants. “Show me you’ll never let me go. That I’ll always have you, no matter what.”

  Unable to stop myself, I glance between us, seeing her push down her panties and kick them off. She’s naked under me, and I can’t stop staring at her perfect body. She’s so small compared to my size, but her curves are mouthwatering. Her full breasts with hard pink nipples look like they were made perfectly to fit in my hands. My cock bobs between us, and a pearl of come beads at the tip. My need for her has surpassed any feeling I’ve ever had in my life. I want her more than I want my next breath, and I can’t hold back much longer. I’ve been holding back so long. The walls are cracking.

  She takes my shaft in her hand and strokes me from root to tip, then back down, and grips me firmly at the base.

  “Fuck.” I hiss through gritted teeth. Then she tells me what she wants through squeezes of her hand.

  “Make.” Pulse. “Love.” Pulse. “To.” Pulse. “Me.” Her words are breathy as she spreads her legs wide.

  “Goddamn it, Paige.” I grasp the headboard and thrust into her grip. The little vixen is getting the best of me. She’s the only person in the whole fucking world who can do that. “If you let me in your pussy, I won’t stop. I’ll be like a predator that’s marked its prey. You won’t ever be free of me.”

  She nods, a wild look in her eyes that does nothing to slow my desire for her. I tighten my grip on the bed and look down at her exposed pussy. She’s glistening with need, and I can see that she’s ready for me. Ready for this. She’s right in saying we’ve been building up to this moment. There’s no need for foreplay when we both know what we truly want.

  “Move your hand,” I say, tightening my jaw. She does what I demand, taking her hand off my cock. “Legs around my waist, and arms on my shoulders.” I want her wrapped around me completely, every inch of her body touching mine as we join together. Again, she does as instructed. “I love you with everything in my soul, and nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”

  She nods, her eyes looking to mine, full of anticipation. “I love you, too.” The words come easily from her now.

  “I’m clean, kitten, and I know you are, too. I want you skin on skin, with no protection.”

  She hesitates for a fracti
on of a second, and I want to ease her fears. I take a hand off the headboard and grip her chin so she doesn’t miss a word of what I’m about to say.

  “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted this with. And the only one I want for the rest of my life. That means everything, kitten. Love, sex, marriage, kids. All of it. You’ll give it to me because you want the same damn thing, too.”

  Her big blue eyes look deep into mine, and a knowing passes between us. I know that’s what she wants. I see it in the way she looks at Miles and Mallory. She wants that, and I can give it to her. I even saw it when she was messing with me and told me she was knocked up, and I told her that baby was mine. Her eyes had lit up for a moment before she masked the want, but I’d caught it.

  “I do,” she whispers, and I can’t help but think that with just those two words, she’s agreed to so much more.

  “I do,” I repeat, and connect us in the most intimate way possible, thrusting inside her fully in one long stroke.

  “Shhh,” I say against her lips when she cries out. She’s a virgin, so I thought this might hurt. I try to hold still and let her adjust. I take her lips in a soft kiss, trying to do all I can to ease the pain. Whispering to her over and over that I love her, wanting her to get used to the words. Her body squeezes around me, and I fight back my release. I want to make this good for both of us, so I move my mouth to her neck.

  I lick under her ear, and then nibble my way down to her collarbone. I keep myself fully seated inside her, letting her fit to my size. When I get to her breasts, her breathing has evened out, and she relaxes a little under me. My mouth latches on to one of her nipples, taking the hardened peak softly between my teeth. I suckle her, then bite down a tiny bit, and I’m rewarded with a moan. She starts to wiggle her hips a little, opening her legs wider as I move my mouth to her other breast.

  I have to possess her in every way. Something inside me is screaming for me to own her. I know that it sounds crazy, but I can’t help myself.

  “You’re mine now, Paige. There’s no turning back.”

  I’m a selfish beast, because I know exactly what I’m doing. I will dominate every inch of her if it means she can’t ever walk away from me.

  With my mouth on her, she becomes as soft as warm butter under my touch. Her body relaxes, and I begin to move, letting her feel every ridge. Her tight walls surround my cock, and I’ve never felt a more perfect grip. The warm, wet heat of her channel welcomes every thrust. Her nails dig into my shoulders, and I beg her to mark me. I want the world to see that I belong to her, to my Paige.

  She pulls me away from her breasts, and I take her mouth in a kiss that’s almost as feral as my need for her. Thick, hammering passion beats down on my back, and I take her like a savage. I know I should be tender and I should slow down, but I can’t hold back anymore.

  “Harder,” she moans in my ear, and sweet fucking Christ, it’s like she’s been made for me.

  I thrust harder, letting our bodies meet their primal needs. To love, to fuck, to breed. I want to get inside her so deep that I never leave, and I want her skin to absorb my scent. I want the two of us to share one set of lungs and never take a breath without the other. The need is beating between us like a living thing, and she clings to me, begging me for more. Begging for what only I can give her.

  She’s saying my name and telling me she’s close. Her orgasm is like a wildfire and she can’t control it. I’m afraid if I go over with her, I’ll be split in two, but I can’t keep it together any longer. Her thighs grip my waist, and her nails drag down my back as she shouts her passion into the room. Her climax grips my cock, and I roar into the pillow as I release deep inside her.

  It’s the single greatest moment of my life, and I’ve never felt more connected to another person. It’s as if our hearts combine in that moment and fuse into a bond that can never be broken.

  We lock eyes as we both gasp for air, the two of us recognizing that this is bigger than we could have ever imagined. That what we had thought of as making love turned out to be the joining of souls. It’s more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt, and there is no going back.

  Our eye contact doesn’t break as I slowly move inside her again. Tonight is the beginning of the rest of our lives, and I want to spend it making sweet passionate love to the woman under me.

  I only pray that when she finds out my secrets, this will be enough to bind her to me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Paige

  * * *

  “OH, God.” MY back arches off the bed. I want to be closer to Captain. Need my body as near to him as possible. I don’t think, I react.

  “Ryan,” Captain corrects, growling against my pussy. His broad shoulders have my legs spread wide to give his massive size all the room he needs as he eats me. He devours my pleasure as if it was his own. The vibration of his voice rolls over my clit, making my orgasm push forward, wanting to break free. Captain knows this, but he pulls back. “Say it.”

  He likes to tease me. Maybe not tease exactly, but he likes to get what he wants. Long gone is the polite man who’d been holding back on me. When he took my virginity hours ago, something within him broke open. It’s animalistic, and I find every part of it intoxicating. I love when he takes control over my body and does whatever he wants with it.

  I release my grip on the bar of the headboard, my fingers going to his hair. I try to thrust my hips upward, wanting his mouth back on me. His hand grasps my hip, locking me into place. Why does that shit, his controlling nature, turn me on?

  “I love you.” I give him the words I know he wants. I’ve said them to him so many times throughout the night, he should be sick of it by now. But if he likes hearing me tell him that as much as I like when he says it, then I’m dead wrong. I could listen to him tell me he loves me over and over again and probably orgasm from only those words.

  “All of it, kitten.” I grip his hair tighter.

  “I love you, Ryan.”

  “That’s my girl,” he says, before his mouth lands on my clit again. He sucks me in possessively, the pleasure exploding into an orgasm that I’ve been teetering on. It finally breaks free as I chant his name into the room, my whole body going lax.

  He slowly crawls up, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. His morning stubble abrades my skin, and I’m sure I have his mark on every inch of me. When he reaches my mouth, he kisses me deeply, and I taste myself on him. The kiss turns soft and lazy as he moves his mouth against mine, then his body shifts over and settles against me. He pulls me tightly into his arms, and I close my eyes, smiling.

  “Morning,” he says in my ear.

  “Hmm,” is all I can muster in response. The man has worn me out more than any workout I’ve ever done in my life. And for the most part since last night, I’ve been on my back. He moves his hand from my hip, up my stomach, and then cups one breast. He can’t stop touching me, but I can’t keep my hands off him, either. I always want some part of me wrapped around him.

  “My kitten is docile after a night of good lovin’.”

  His words only make me smile more. I am. I want to lie here all day. I’m relaxed and sore all over. But a good sore. Every time I move today, it will remind me of him and all the things we did last night. The passion that exploded between us that had been building up for years has finally detonates. No more walls or secrets. Everything came tumbling down last night. I bared myself to him, and it felt good. It was freeing to finally let someone really see me.

  “I fed you. Are you going to feed me now?” I tease, turning in his arms to cuddle against him. I bury my face in his neck, and something about it is comforting. Safe. Nothing can touch me when he’s wrapped around me. I wish I could stay here forever.

  “Have I ever let you go hungry?” he asks, rubbing my back rhythmically.

  I don’t think I want to get up for food right now. It’s the weekend, and we don’t have anywhere we have to be. I throw my leg over his body, crawling on top of his big frame so I’m
straddling him. My face is still in his neck. He wraps both his arms around me, holding me close. God, he feels so good against me. I was stupid for ever fighting this, for missing out on even one moment of what we’ve shared.

  “You’re not going anywhere. I changed my mind,” I tell him, burrowing further into him. I want to soak all of him up. His smell, his warmth, anything I can get.

  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” he says lazily, making my heart do a little flutter.

  I sit up, wanting to look down at him. The morning light spreads across the bed, and he looks me over. I’m not shy about my nudity and let him look his fill. I rest my hands on his chest, running my fingers through his short chest hair.

  “You’ve really wanted me all this time?” We talked about it the other day. I’d even made a joke about him being a bit of a stalker, like Miles was with Mallory. That all these years when we both worked for Miles, he’d wanted me, too. I loved the thought of it.

  “From the very start,” he confirms.

  I bite my lip, wanting to ask more. I suddenly feel extra territorial.

  “What is it, kitten?” he pushes, knowing I have something I want to say. It’s crazy how well he reads me. Maybe even a little scary. No, not anymore. I’m not hiding from him. I’ll give him all my secrets. I know they are safe with him. I can feel it.

  “Last night was my…” I try to say it, but my cheeks warm.

  A grin spreads on his lips. “I know. Why do you think I haven’t taken you again? I know you’re sore.” He runs his hands up my thigh. We haven’t had sex again since last night, but we’ve done other things. Well, he did things to me. Explored every inch of my body with his mouth and hands, over and over again. Like he thought he might have missed a spot. It felt like he was marking me. “Even if you try to tempt me by sitting naked on top of me.” He rubs small circles on my thighs with his thumb, making goose bumps break out on my skin.