by Soraya Lane
“Yup.” The shrug Luke gave, the way he couldn’t look at her, told her it was hard for him to be telling her about his past. “I know what it feels like to try so hard to suck in air and fail. But the difference is that Charlie had two people fighting for him to live, and I had no one.”
Olivia had thought she was all out of tears, but she was wrong. Sometimes she forgot how bad Luke had had it as a kid, how much he must have suffered.
“What happened after that?” she asked in a choked voice.
Luke looked up at the ceiling, fighting what she could only guess was his own emotion. Olivia reached for him, touched her hand to his thigh and never took her eyes from his face.
“I had a great doctor and he helped me. Even kept me in the hospital for a few extra days because he could see what was happening,” Luke told her. “Then I read up all I could, as much as I could understand at the time, and just decided to do everything I could to fight it.”
“Like it was a disease or something? You were fighting the symptoms?” she asked.
Luke nodded. “I went from being a sickly kid who couldn’t even run a block to the fittest kid in school, and I always carried my inhaler. That was when things changed for me.”
Olivia was all ears. She’d never known that Luke was weak when he was younger. All she’d ever known was the fit, strong, athletic Luke. The soldier. Weak and Luke Brown were not words she would have ever strung together.
“I was bullied every day in foster care, picked on in class, made to sit out on activities because I couldn’t catch my breath long enough to run. Then I learned how to breathe properly through my nose, how to control my asthma, followed alternative practices that a doctor had told me about.” He shrugged. “It changed my life.”
“Does the army know about your condition?”
Luke’s eyes turned on her then, stormy and dark, as if she’d said something terrible to offend him. “All I know is that I set a record on the fitness test when I joined, and I’ve never had a problem. Period. As far as I’m concerned, asthma was something that used to control me, but I mostly grew out of it.”
The door swung open then, filling the room with a bright, artificial light.
“He still asleep?”
Olivia turned and smiled at the nurse. “He seems to be doing great, thanks.”
“If anyone knows how to beat this, it’s me,” Luke told her, covering Ollie’s hand with his when the nurse had checked Charlie’s condition and left again. “I’ll teach him how to deal with it, trust me.”
Olivia smiled at Luke and watched the stern lines of his face as he looked at Charlie. He was hard to read, one minute light and chatty, the next serious and deadly. But one thing she was sure about was that she was pleased to have him here.
Parenting was tough, and it was nice to have someone by her side for once. Especially since that someone was Luke.
* * *
They were lucky Charlie was such an easy kid. Luke looked in the rearview mirror and grinned at his son. Olivia was riding in the back with him, babying him, and the boy didn’t like it one bit.
“Mom!” He wriggled away and Ollie sighed.
“You’ve been very sick, sweetheart. I’m just trying to look after you.”
Charlie rolled his eyes and squirmed some more.
“Mommy, you’re embarrassing the kid.” Luke was pleased he was in the front seat. Ollie glared at him as if she’d punch him given half the chance.
“Yeah, Mom, you’re embaroosing me.”
That made them both laugh. Charlie joined in, which made them laugh all the more.
Luke pulled the car into the drive and stopped outside the garage. He made it around to the other side in time to hear Ollie offer to carry Charlie. It didn’t go down well.
“He’s okay. You know that, right?” Luke asked her. “He doesn’t have a life-threatening illness.”
Ollie nodded, but she didn’t look convinced.
“Let’s get inside. Come on,” he told her.
Luke couldn’t help but think how different the house looked this time around. The last time he’d walked up the front path he’d been confronted by a silence that had worried him, and then he’d found Charlie. This time, his boy was waiting at the front door, wriggling on the spot. He sure didn’t like to stand still for long.
“What’s for dinner?” he called out to them.
Luke stifled a laugh. Typical boy. Playing and eating, that was all he thought about. All a kid should have to think about.
“Let’s see,” said Olivia as she unlocked the door and let them all in. “How about homemade pizzas?”
“Yay!”
“Luke?” she asked.
He put his hands in the air. “Fine by me.”
“Come on then. Charlie, you can help.”
* * *
Luke sat on a stool on the other side of the counter and watched the fun. Charlie was standing on a chair so he could help his mom, and there was food everywhere. Flour was smudged on Charlie’s face, hair and the front of his T-shirt, and now he was trying to help spread sauce on the dough while Olivia cut up tomatoes, basil and peppers. The one Charlie was working on was a mini pizza, which he’d insisted only have ketchup and cheese.
“Are you sure you don’t mind vegetarian?” Olivia asked.
Luke couldn’t drag his eyes away from Charlie, who had his tongue between his lips as he concentrated. “Not at all. Whatever you make will be great.”
“I usually make chicken pizza, but this is all I had in the fridge.”
“Mine’s cheese and ketchup,” announced Charlie.
“So I see.” As if he could have missed him demanding his choice of toppings before.
“It’s his favorite,” Ollie told him, still busy chopping. “I kind of give in when it comes to pizza. My theory is that he may as well enjoy it, especially if he’s making it.”
Luke liked that she was so concerned about healthy meals that she felt guilty about this one, but he didn’t like that she always justified herself to him. She was a great mom and no one could fault her. Most certainly not him, especially after being gone for so long and leaving all the hard parenting to her.
“Charlie, how about you go wash up? I’ll pop them in the oven.” Olivia helped him down and he ran off down the hall as if his life depended on it.
“Luke, I need to thank you for what you did last night.”
She wasn’t looking at him, her hands busy sprinkling cheese over the pizza.
He shrugged. “It was no big deal.” And it wasn’t. Any man would have done the same for his child. Besides, she’d already thanked him.
Olivia looked up at him then, used her arm to brush away a few stray strands of hair as she locked eyes with him.
“It was a seriously big deal, Luke. You saved his life.” She had tears in her eyes now. “It means everything to me that you came back, especially when you did.”
He could see the emotion building up within her. Yes, he’d helped Charlie, but the ambulance had arrived fast, so he would have made it anyway. At least Luke hoped so. But thinking about what-ifs, thinking about what might have happened if he hadn’t come back when he did, wasn’t worth it. The only thing he was proud of right now was the fact he’d had the guts to turn down the promotion and ask for more time before he decided what to do next.
“I should never have walked out on the party, Ollie.” And he should have apologized earlier.
“Luke, really, you don’t have to say anything.” She picked up the pizzas and slipped them into the oven, suddenly not able to meet his gaze.
“No, Ollie, it was wrong. You didn’t deserve it. I, well, I just shouldn’t have done it. I behaved like an idiot.”
Ollie shook her head, took a few steps toward him and wrapped her arm
s around herself. “I forgive you, Luke. It’s water under the bridge. You saved our son’s life, so I’m hardly going to hold it against you.”
It was as if something had changed between them. The smile on her face, the look in her eyes... There was an openness there that he hadn’t seen, not like that, since he’d returned. It was as if she was forgiving him for more than just one argument, giving him a fresh start. Had he read it wrong, or was she trying to tell him something?
“Olivia...”
She smiled at him. The most beautiful, open, genuine smile he’d ever seen. “I forgive you, Luke. I do.”
All the pain of coming home, all the memories he’d held so tight, all the worries about what to do and how to behave, had all been worth it. That smile meant everything to him, her words the best melody he could imagine. Because now he might actually have a real chance with her. Not at a night with her, not at seeing how things panned out, but a chance at a future.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LUKE JUMPED TO his feet as the doorbell rang. He’d been playing trains with Charlie, building a track that took them right around the living room.
“Coming,” he called.
The door was solid timber, so he couldn’t see who was there. He pulled it open.
“Kelly.” Luke said her name because he didn’t know what else to say. He wished he wasn’t home alone. The last thing he needed right now was a grilling about his behavior, or a lecture about what was best for Olivia again.
“Hi, Luke. Can I come in?” she asked.
He could hardly say no. “Of course.”
Luke moved aside so she could pass, and then closed the door behind them. He would have preferred to step out and leave her in the house alone, but the last thing he needed was for her to have even more ammunition against him.
“You don’t have your daughter today?” It was the only thing that crossed his mind to say to her.
“I’ve just dropped her off at her grandparents’ place. They have her once a month for the weekend.”
“Her dad doesn’t see her?”
She shot him a look he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of again.
“No.” She emphasized the word more than was necessary. “He walked out two years ago and I’ve hardly heard from him since. His folks make a big effort, though, so she has great grandparents.”
Luke wished he hadn’t asked. No wonder she and Ollie were such good friends. They both had husbands who’d walked out, and from the look on Kelly’s face she might just hate the entire male population.
He groaned. There was nothing he could do to rectify the past more than be here right now, so there was no use beating himself up over it.
Charlie saved him, storming back into the room with his wooden gun.
“Bang, bang!”
Luke laughed and pretended to be hit. Kelly didn’t look that impressed, but he wasn’t going to stop playing with Charlie just because they had a visitor who might not be into weapons.
“Did you say hello to Kelly?” Luke asked Charlie.
“Hi, Kelly.” Charlie repeated on autopilot, before running full speed at Luke. “I got you!”
Luke hoisted Charlie up into his arms before turning to face Kelly. “We’ve been having some boys’ fun time, haven’t we, big guy?”
Charlie nodded, then wriggled to get down.
“You go play with the trains. I’ll be back to help soon,” Luke told him.
“I hear you did pretty good the other night,” she said.
“Coffee?” Luke hoped she’d take the hint that he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Sure.”
“Sugar?” he asked, heading for the kitchen.
Kelly shook her head. “Liv tells me you saved him, Luke. That without you it could have been a lot worse.”
Luke didn’t want to be the hero, because he was the one who’d walked out on the party. And that had been anything but heroic. He’d hated the hero tag in the army, and he hated it just as much as a civilian. You just did what you had to do to save someone. It was what he was trained to do, and it was what any other human being would do in the same situation. Particularly for their own child.
“He’s okay, that’s the main thing.”
Luke passed her a mug and she took it. He sipped from his own. The liquid was far too hot, but he continued anyway. Drinking scalding coffee was preferable to making small talk as far as he was concerned, even if he did lose all the skin on the roof of his mouth.
“Look, Luke, the reason I came around was to make peace with you.”
He digested Kelly’s words. So she’d known Olivia wasn’t going to be here.
“She’s told me that the two of you are trying to work things out, to make a go of it, and I want to help,” Kelly said.
Olivia had actually told her that? “I don’t understand what you’re offering.”
“Look, I don’t have my daughter all weekend, and I have nothing else to do. Why don’t you and Liv spend a day together tomorrow, just the two of you? Do something nice, go somewhere.”
Wow. He sure hadn’t expected that. “That’s really kind of you, but I’m not sure.”
Kelly sighed. “You need some time alone, without Charlie around. Stay away the whole weekend if you like, but just make sure you do something.”
Maybe she was right. The last thing he wanted was to leave his son, not when he was enjoying him so much. But a day or night away with his wife? Just the two of them?
“Charlie’s only been out of hospital two days. I don’t think Olivia will go for it,” Luke stated.
“Don’t think I’ll go for what?”
Olivia stood in the doorway, her eyebrows arched in question. She had her arms folded, forming a barrier over her chest. And she didn’t look impressed.
“Hey, Liv.” Kelly put her coffee down and stood to give her a kiss on the cheek.
Olivia went through the motions, but still didn’t look convinced.
Luke shrugged, trying to ignore the question.
“Don’t think I’d go for what?” Olivia repeated.
Luke looked at Kelly, but she wasn’t being any help. Damn it. This whole thing hadn’t even been his idea, and he was the one undergoing the interrogation.
“Kelly has offered to look after Charlie if we want to spend some time together tomorrow,” Luke told her.
She uncrossed her arms. At least she didn’t look so angry now.
“I can’t leave him.” It sounded as if there was no room for changing her mind, but then Luke had expected that. “What if he had an asthma attack again?”
“He’s not going to, Ollie. We’ve got everything under control,” Luke assured her. “But I feel the same as you, so if you don’t want to, I understand. He still coughed a lot last night.”
“I...” She’d gone pink in the face, her cheeks flushed.
“You know you can trust me with him, Liv.” Kelly got to her feet. “I’ll leave you guys to talk about it, but I’m happy to help out. Just pick up the phone and I’ll be here.”
Olivia walked Kelly to the door and Luke stayed put. It was a good idea, he’d give her that. They needed to spend time together to see if there was any chance for them to ever go back to what they’d once had. He’d proved to her that he loved Charlie, and enjoyed every single moment in his son’s company, even when things were tough. But for them to figure things out between them, to get their marriage back to a point where they could build a future? It was something that needed more than time to heal. It needed action.
Olivia walked back into the room and picked up one of Charlie’s books. She held it in her hands before dropping it into a basket.
“I just hate the idea of leaving him,” she said. “I’ve never left him. Not even for a night.”
Luke walked toward his wife and stopped a few feet from her. He reached out and touched her arms, one hand to each of her elbows, wanting to be close to her but not wanting to push her, to crowd her if she wasn’t ready.
“Why don’t we go to Laguna Beach?” he suggested. “Lunch at a nice little restaurant, stroll past the shops, walk along the beach? We could just go for the day.”
She slowly nodded her head, almost reluctantly. But he’d known she’d want to go there, because it was the place they’d first met.
“Is that a yes?” he asked, the corner of his mouth kicking up into a grin.
Ollie smiled back at him. He tried not to watch that smile, not to focus on her mouth, but it was hard. Those pouting, pillow-soft lips were tempting, but he restrained herself. He had to keep his desire in check, rein back on what he wanted. If she gave him another chance, there would be plenty of time for that. Right now he needed her to trust him.
“So we’d only be gone for five or six hours?” she asked.
“We could take our overnight bags just in case,” he suggested.
Olivia shook her head fiercely. “Uh-uh. No.”
He stooped slightly to look into her eyes, hands still on her elbows. “Just in case?”
“You’re pushing it, Luke.” She looked panicked now, as if the whole idea of leaving terrified her more than he’d even come close to understanding.
He stepped back. Surrendered. “Okay, we’ll just drive there for lunch, take a few hours.”
Her face softened and she started to smile again. “Deal.”
* * *
Olivia found herself struggling to inhale enough oxygen when Luke went to find Charlie. There didn’t seem to be enough of it in the room for her.
All she could think about was what it would be like to spend an entire day with Luke. Sit in a car beside him with no one else, no Charlie, to focus on. Just the two of them.
It was stupid to be nervous, but the thought of that made her worry. Made her stomach flip-flop, twisting in circles at the same time.
A date day. That’s what it sounded like. But it seemed more like a first date, like she’d been waiting for him to ask her out her entire lifetime, or at least that’s how the pressure building in her chest was making her feel.