Taming Chaos

by Lynne St. James

  “Yeah, well, not this time, buddy,” I answered while handing him the wrapped candy.

  He winked and popped it into his mouth without even asking what it was, which kind of surprised me. He didn’t know me, what if I was giving him something bad?

  “Oh wow, butterscotch. I love this shit, oh my God I haven’t had it in years. I used to keep a bag stashed in my room. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, it’s my favorite too. Hey, we have something in common, imagine that?”

  “Yeah and something tells me it’s not the only thing.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that. Our backgrounds are pretty different, but we do share a love of music.” Talking about my childhood brought back memories of my father. I tried to push them back into the dark hole they came out of before I got pissed off again or worse. Things were going better between us and I didn’t want anything to change it.

  Chapter Seven

  Chaos

  She’s snarky, I’ll give her that. Talk about a total surprise. If I went by first impressions I never would have pegged her for being feisty at all. She looks so sweet and innocent, I liked it. It fit her without making her seem trashy like so many of our groupies. The side effect was killing me though, every time she got close my cock got hard. What the fuck was it about her? It’s like she flips my horny switch every time I’m fuckin’ near her.

  Thankfully we’d finally found some common ground and weren’t acting like enemies. I would need her help convincing Symmetry to use our songs and fighting with her would be like shooting myself in the foot.

  We chatted a bit longer before one of the security guys poked his head in the room and announced one hour ‘til show time. Adrenaline surged through me until I was shaking with excitement. Fuck yeah. This was it.

  “Okay, guys, you heard him, time to get ready,” Rod announced between taking a swig of beer and filling his face with popcorn. Cynda’s nickname for him came to mind and I had to hold back the laughter. She had definitely nailed him—dickman—maybe we should get him a t-shirt.

  “Well, time to get my game face on.”

  Cynda smiled, “Okay, Michelle and I’ll be backstage watching. Have a great show.”

  “Thanks. It’s going to rock the house. We’ll have a party back here afterwards but you can hang backstage for Avenged Sevenfold if you want.”

  “We’ll see, probably some of it, I know Michelle will want to.”

  “What about you? Not interested in Synyster? He’s not your type?”

  “Actually, musicians aren’t my type. Sorry.”

  I didn’t believe her for a minute, not with the vibes I was getting and the deep pink that kept tinting her cheeks. Nope, she might not want to, but she was definitely feeling it as much as me.

  “If you say so. Enjoy the show.” I grabbed my bag and went into one of the attached rooms to change and get ready. I wouldn’t come out until it was time to go on stage. I had a process, almost like meditation, to put me in the right head space before every gig. The others followed and I figured Rod would take care of entertaining Cynda and Michelle. He knew better than to come back with us before a show, he learned that lesson the first time he’d done it and Rage had thrown his ass out. Now that was a funny story.

  *****

  Performing for a sold out show in Madison Square Garden had to be the biggest rush of our lives. Twenty thousand screaming fans yelling our name. Holy fucking shit. There are no words for how it felt, and when we opened with one of our hit songs, “Salvation Claimed”, they knew all the words. Wrath, Fury, and I exchanged looks a few times and I’m sure the look on my face was the same as theirs. If we hadn’t believed it before, we did now—we’d made it. Even Sweets and Candy had shit eating grins on their faces the entire show. But the fucking best part had to be when Synyster came out and played “Left Behind” with us. Oh sweet baby Jesus, I hoped I wasn’t dreaming because I didn’t want to wake up.

  Everyone had been at the top of their game tonight. We’d fuckin’ rocked the house. After our last song, we had to come back for an encore then we tossed our towels and water bottles into the crowd as we walked off stage, and I’m not sure any of our feet were hitting the ground even now. The cheering continued though until the lights came up so the roadies could reset the stage for Avenged Sevenfold. Synyster met us backstage and he told me we had fuckin’ rocked it, which was like icing on the fuckin’ cake.

  During the set I’d looked over to see Cynda and Michelle off stage a couple of times and they were really in to it, rockin’ it hard. I even caught them singing along, I figured she’d heard our songs but knowing she really knew them made a big difference somehow.

  Getting back to the dressing room all we could talk about was seeing all those faces looking up at us and screaming our name and singing our songs—I just can’t imagine anything being much better than how that felt. We were changing shirts and drying off the sweat when Rod and the girls walked in.

  “I have to say, you were impressive this evening. You definitely pleased the fans.”

  Michelle looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “Ya think? Geesh, they were fucking amazing.”

  Rod looked surprised she’d spoken to him, but we all laughed. “Were we all amazing or just Flame?”

  “Shit, you all were but Flame rocks those keys like nobody’s business.”

  I laughed when I saw Flame’s ears turn bright red. She must’ve gotten to him—shocking—he was such a freakin’ flirt, no one ever got to him. Now we had one more thing to tease him about on the tour.

  Cynda had been quiet so far, but her smile lit her face up like sunshine. She was really beautiful, from the blue streaks in her brown hair to her black heels. “Did you like the show?”

  Michelle laughed, and Cynda elbowed her in the side. “You guys were great. It sounded even better live than on the album.”

  “Thanks,” I said as I walked closer to her. I didn’t want everyone to hear what I was going to say next. “I saw you singing, I didn’t realize you knew our music that well.”

  Pink colored her cheeks. “You saw me?”

  “Yeah. It’s not like it’s a bad thing.”

  “No, I know. But…”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t tease you in front of the guys, but I’m flattered you knew our songs good enough to sing along.”

  “I wasn’t the only one. You do realize how popular you are now right? I mean the entire Garden was singing your songs.”

  “I know, it was a fuckin’ rush too.”

  She was about to say something else when Rod opened the door and came in with a shitload of women. We’d had fans—groupies—but nothing like this. I don’t know how many backstage passes they gave out, but there had to be at least thirty women. I looked around and all the guys were being swarmed. Cynda and Michelle stepped out of the way of the herd but I would’ve much rather just talked to her.

  Michelle pushed her way through the crowd of half-dressed women to get to Flame. Sure looked like she was claiming him for her own. I turned back to find Cynda, but she was gone. I knew she wouldn’t leave, we had a deal, but where was she?

  Some bleached blond was rubbing against my side and I tried to push her away but there were others around just like her. Most of them had bleached blonde hair and lots of eye make-up. Except for the hair, they looked a lot like Sweets and Candy. I hadn’t thought about Sweets since we’d gotten back to the dressing room. Oh shit.

  I looked around but the room was so crowded it was hard to see much except the tops of people’s heads. She was short but usually her bright red hair was visible. Not this time. I had a bad feeling in my gut. Neither of them were anywhere to be seen. I had no idea where Cynda was and I was worried about Sweets causing shit. I hoped I was fuckin’ wrong.

  Looking around for Rod, I was going to send him to find both, but he had his own swarm of groupies. This was fucked up. I’m all for fans, and having a bunch of beautiful women around is great, but all they wanted was br
agging rights or to say they’d fucked a rock star. The guys didn’t care but that’s why I tried to avoid this fuckin’ shit, I didn’t want to be a piece of meat.

  With everyone busy, I ditched the party to go look for Cynda or Sweets, hoping I wouldn’t find them together, because that would be a clusterfuck, especially since Sweets probably had a few drinks after the concert. They’d all hit the bottles pretty hard as soon as we got back to the suite and I couldn’t blame them. I could use a glass of scotch, and that was the reason I had my own fuckin’ stash on the bus.

  Chapter Eight

  Cynda

  Yup now this is what I’d expected. Seeing all the skanky women pour into the dressing room was more than I wanted to deal with, or maybe I was just jealous? At least that’s what Michelle would say. She might be right, but hell, I’m not admitting it to anyone. Still, there was no way I was going to stand there while some hoe practically climbed into his pants.

  I doubt anyone noticed when I left anyway. My suitcase was still in Michelle’s car, so I figured I might as well get it now and head to the bus. Maybe I could get settled in before they all showed up with their sex partners for the night. Gross. Seriously, how could anyone have sex with random strangers just because they were rock stars? Okay, who was I kidding, I wanted Chaos, would I give in to that—hell no. It’d be totally wrong. Isn’t that what I hated most about my father? He was all about loving them and leaving them, at least as far as mom was concerned.

  Grabbing the suitcase from the car I shoved her spare key in the hideaway box under the front wheel well. Thank God I’d remembered it was there because I sure as hell hadn’t remembered to get the keys from her before I left the party. She’d been all over Flame. I knew she liked Raining Chaos but I hadn’t realized she had the hots for him until the drive over. All she did the whole time was ask about him. It was funny. Too bad this wasn’t her job for the next two weeks, she would have enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than I will.

  Looking for the buses, I followed the directions dickman had given me earlier. I went back in the Garden and down the long hallway to the rear exit. I’d almost made it when I heard the sound of high heels on the tile floor behind me. Fully expecting it to be one of the skanks from the party, I turned to come face-to-face with Sweets. Oh shit.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “Cynda is it or should I just call you bitch?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I don’t like you coming in here and butting in. We don’t need you and Chaos definitely doesn’t need you. I’ve got everything he needs right here.” She gestured across her body, and yeah she had it. Huge boobs trying to escape from the leather vest she wore over a way too short leather mini-skirt and black high heels with silver studs. If this is what he liked more power to him, it just reinforced the no sex no way rule. I thought Wrath had said they were like sisters. Maybe someone needed to tell her.

  “I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to back off. I’m not here to hurt anyone or cause problems. I’m just here to do my job. You don’t like it, talk to Chaos, he’s the one who made me come on tour with you. Trust me it wasn’t my idea.”

  “Yeah I know,” she answered and took a drink from the beer in her hand. She was drunk, it was obvious, but I didn’t think it mattered. She’d been shooting shitty looks at me since I’d shown up earlier.

  “So if you know, why are you giving me shit?”

  “Because I want you to fuckin’ walk away, stay off the fuckin’ bus. Make up some damn excuse but stay the fuck away from all of us.”

  “No way. I told you I have a job to do and I’m going to do it. What the hell is your problem? I know he’s not your boyfriend, so what’s with the possessive act?”

  “Bitch, you have no idea. You’d have to be crazy to think he’d want you.”

  I agreed with her but it still hurt. Michelle had given me a makeover and even convinced me to buy and wear make-up. New clothes, new hair, and still there was no way I could or would want to compete with these skanks for his attention. “I told you I’m here for work. I don’t want him and I don’t care what you two do. Got that?”

  I’d had enough, I was tired, it’d been a long ass day and I wanted to find a place to sleep, even if it was a chair on the damn bus. At least dickman told me they didn’t sleep on the bus with the guys, they were on the second bus.

  “You need to sleep it off,” I said as I turned hoping to get away from her before it got worse. No such luck when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning I gave her the ‘fuck you bitch’ look, but she either didn’t care or was too drunk to notice.

  “Listen, Cinder, or whatever your name is. Don’t make me hurt you…”

  “No one is going to get hurt. What the hell, Sweets?” Chaos cut in as he grabbed her arm. “Leave her alone. We talked about this shit.”

  They had? Interesting. I wonder what he’d said.

  “Did she hurt you?” he asked, looking me over for injuries.

  The entire situation was screwed up, like a bad TV movie, if he hadn’t looked so serious I’d have laughed. If she’d tried anything, she probably would have fallen off her six inch heels. “No, I’m fine. I was trying to explain to her that I’m only here to do my job, not get in your pants.”

  His eyes widened at my words. Huh, did he think I wanted in his pants? I told him I didn’t do musicians, how much plainer did I have to be?

  “Right, I got that. I’ll take care of her, you going to the bus?”

  “Yeah, I’m beat, I figured I’d find a place to sleep and leave the partying to the rock stars.”

  “I’ll be there soon. I’m going to take Sweets to their bus. She’s had enough fun for one night.”

  “Okay, you don’t have to come back because of me. I can figure it out.”

  “I figured you could, but I don’t do the partying shit like the rest of them. I either go home or to the hotel and write. I’m still stoked from the gig and I think I write some of my best stuff then.”

  “Really?”

  “Why are you so fuckin’ surprised?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Sorry. I guess I’ll see you in a few. You’d better take care of her before she falls over.”

  He looked at the wobbling Sweets and nodded while I headed toward the exit and what would be home sweet home for the next two weeks.

  The tour bus was huge, and not at all what I’d expected. The driver was inside and the lights were on with light rock playing. I knocked on the door, and he opened it up.

  “Hi, I’m Cynda. I’ll be tagging along for a couple of weeks.”

  “I’m Joe the bus driver,” he said laughing. “Really I am Joe. Chaos told me you’d be coming along.”

  “Hi, Joe the bus driver,” I replied smiling. He seemed like a really nice man. Probably in his fifties, balding with a round belly, he did kind of look like what you’d expect of a typical New York bus driver. “I’m Cynda the songwriter, nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you too. I’m glad you have a sense of humor, you’re probably going to need it. The guys can be crazy some times.”

  “I kind of figured.”

  “They’re great though. I’ve driven them around locally before. I volunteered for this job.”

  “You’re not getting paid?”

  “No, I meant when they were looking for a driver I offered to take it. No one at home anymore since my wife passed last year, so these guys are like the kids I never had.”

  “Aww, I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “No worries, my Marge is in a better place now. She suffered for a long time.”

  I could see him start to get teary eyed and I hoped he wouldn’t cry, if he did there’d be no way I wouldn’t start crying too.

  “I understand, I just lost my mother a few months ago. She had cancer.”

  Before I realized what he was doing, he stood and gave me a huge bear hug. I was surprised but after a few seconds, I relaxed and hugged him back.
It’d been ages since anyone had hugged me like that; it was nice. Maybe I’d just try to hang out with Joe when I wasn’t working with Chaos.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

  “No don’t apologize, it was nice. Really.” I gave him a big smile and blinked away the tears threatening to fall. I blamed it on a long day and a sweet man. I was not the crying type and I wasn’t going to start now.

  “Okay.” He gave me a big grin and grabbed my suitcase. “This is where we stow the small bags. The big ones are stashed outside under the bus. I don’t know where you’ll unpack anything, unless Chaos lets you use a couple of his drawers.” He showed me around the large bus, which was a lot like a long thin hotel room. There was even a huge fifty-inch TV on the wall opposite the couch and eating area.

  “There’re four bunks along the side after the living and kitchen, that’s where the guys sleep, except for Chaos. He has the real bedroom at the back of the bus. There’s only one bathroom but it’s bigger than some of the buses I’ve driven.

  “It’s a lot bigger than I expected. I’m guessing I’ll be sleeping on the couch. Do you know if there are extra blankets or anything? I didn’t think to bring stuff.”

  “Yeah, pull up the cushions of the couch and everything you need is in the cabinet there.”

  “Great. So where do you sleep?”

  “I don’t. Well at least not when you are. I sleep during the day when they’re all out. Usually we’re driving at night.”

  “I hadn’t thought about that. Is it hard to stay awake when everyone else is sleeping?”

  “Nah, I’ve been driving buses for a while, I’m used to it.”

  The mini-tour was over and I was getting out the bedding to make up the couch when Chaos came in looking really pissed off. I wondered what happened with Sweets, but maybe it was better I didn’t know. Of course I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah I’m fine, not happy with Sweets but everything else is cool.”