Taming Chaos

by Lynne St. James

  “Morning, Cynda, can I get you some coffee?”

  I don’t think she’d even noticed me until then since I was over by the coffee pot. She groaned and ran her hands through her hair only making it worse, and the guys chuckled.

  “Damn. Yeah coffee would be great, but I really want to brush my teeth first.”

  “No problem. How do you take it?”

  “Cream and four sugars. Yeah I know you don’t have to say it. I have a huge sweet tooth.”

  I made her coffee and left it on the counter then sat down with the guys. Taking a big sip, the heat and flavor infused me with energy and it felt fuckin’ great. I was quiet for a few minutes as I went over the schedule in my head. We had interviews with two different radio stations and an appearance and signing downtown near the “Love” statue, the sound check, and the gig tonight.

  “Did you see the schedule for today?”

  They nodded and that’s when I realized Flame wasn’t there. “Where the hell is Flame? Didn’t he make it on the bus last night?”

  “Nope but he called, apparently he got tied up, literally,” Rage said. “Michelle was driving him down, he should be here soon.”

  Wrath snorted and choked on his coffee.

  “Holy fuck, really? He missed the bus. He’s lucky we were only going a few hours away. He’d have been really fucked otherwise.”

  “Uh huh. Apparently she had him…” Rage stopped mid-sentence and looked behind me. I turned to see Cynda standing there listening.

  “Don’t stop because of me. What were you saying about Michelle?”

  Rage actually turned red, I don’t think I’d ever seen him do that before and I had a hard time not laughing.

  “Um, ahhh…help me out here, bro.”

  Wrath was still coughing and laughing and I didn’t know the story so I couldn’t help.

  Fury shrugged, and winked at me. “It seems Michelle had Flame tied up last night and he missed the bus.”

  “She did what?”

  Rage nodded and slapped Wrath on the back to help him stop choking. I couldn’t hold it back anymore either. I should have been pissed he missed the bus but this was fucking funny shit and we’d be able to give him grief for weeks.

  “She had him tied up and wouldn’t let him leave or something, I guess, so she had to drive him here today.”

  “No way. I don’t believe it. I’ve known Michelle for over four years and she’s never done anything like that.”

  “Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think,” I said and waggled my brows at her. “C’mon it’s funny. At least we only went from New York to Philly or I’d be pissed off too. He’s never done anything like this before.”

  Standing there like she was in shock, she still looked so sexy. She was probably mortified. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything, you didn’t do it,” Wrath said as he finally stopped laughing.

  “He’s right, Cynda. You didn’t do anything. Flame’s a big boy, he can take care of himself. Your coffee’s on the counter by the way. You look like you need it.”

  Nodding, she retrieved it and sat down on the couch with the mug clenched in her hands.

  I sat down next to her close enough that our legs rubbed against each other, and just like that, I had a hard-on. Fuck. This girl was dangerous and hot. I wanted to pick her up, carry her into my room, and spend the next few hours learning every bit of her body. Oh what I could do to her. I needed to get a fuckin’ grip. Now wasn’t the time for this.

  I leaned in close to her ear. “Are you okay?”

  She looked at me from behind her glasses and blinked. She must have been far away but I couldn’t even imagine what she’d been thinking about. “Yeah thanks, and thanks for the coffee, it’s perfect.”

  I whispered under my breath, “So are you.” Luckily she didn’t hear me. “We have a full schedule today. You’re welcome to come with us or you can go off on your own, or maybe if Michelle’s hanging for a while stay with her?”

  “Thanks, can I get back to you on that after I wake up a little bit more.”

  “Of course, did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah I did. I’m surprised too. I didn’t think this would be very comfortable.”

  “That’s good, I’m glad to hear it. When I wanted you to come with us, I wasn’t trying to be an ass, and I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of the power struggle.”

  “I understand. I really didn’t want to come, but maybe it’ll be okay.”

  “It will,” I said, giving her my sexiest smile. I had some making up to do and not a lot of time to do it. I picked the wrong fucking time to be a dick that’s for sure.

  Wrath looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. “What are you two whispering about over there? Trying to figure out Flame’s sex life?”

  I wanted to punch him and I might have if the bus door hadn’t opened letting Flame and Michelle in. “Fucking nice of you to show up there, Flame.”

  He actually looked embarrassed but not Michelle. She had a shit eating grin on her face and I wondered if I even wanted to know what they’d been up to last night.

  “Yeah I’m sorry, I forget the fuckin’ time and… Hey I’m here now so it’s cool right?”

  “Oh yeah, it’s cool. Uh huh sure it is. I hope you got some sleep at least, we’ve got our first interview in about an hour.”

  “Right.” He turned to Michelle and whispered something and she shook her head no.

  “Are you going to stay for the show tonight, Michelle?”

  “No, I can’t, I have to get back to take care of Cyn’s cat.” She gave Cynda a look that must’ve meant something to her, but I didn’t have a fuckin’ clue.

  “Well thanks for bringing Flame back to us. We’d have been lost tonight without him.”

  She gave me a grin and pulled Flame’s head down for a goodbye kiss. “No problem, I was glad to have some extra time with him. Cyn, I’ll call you later or give me a call when you can. Okay?”

  Cynda nodded and watched as Michelle left the bus. She looked confused and something else. I had a feeling Michelle was in for a fuckin’ earful when they talked. Damn, I’d love to fuckin’ hear that call.

  Michelle called her Cyn and I liked it. She really did look like an angel on the outside but the way she filled me with lust, she had to be fuckin’ hot as sin on the inside.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cynda

  What the hell was Michelle up to now? Damn. I’d never seen this side of her before. I wonder if he’d slipped her something at the party. I had to talk to Flame as soon as I could get him alone. If he hurt her I’d kick his lily white ass. She was my best friend and the only family I cared about. I’d promised to deal with this but she hadn’t and I’d be damned if I was going to let her get fucked by it all.

  I looked away from where Michelle had stood and caught Chaos staring at me. His hazel eyes pulled me in like quicksand. After dreaming of making love to him all night, it was a struggle not to jump up and drag him into his room. It’s a good thing everyone else was sitting there or I might have given in. I was hopeless. At this rate I’d follow my mom’s footsteps and end up alone and pregnant. Snap out of it, Cyn. You know better.

  “Cyn?”

  Shit, he was talking to me. I wonder what he’d been saying. “Yeah?”

  “Did you decide whether you want to come with us or not?”

  “I think I’ll stay here and work on some of the songs.”

  His eyebrows went up. “I thought we were going to do that together?”

  “Well, yeah we are, but you’re so busy and I can’t just sit around waiting for you. I figured I’d work up some lyrics then later when you had time we could go over them, together. Okay?”

  He nodded but he didn’t look like it was okay. Too bad. I had a job to do, and I was going to do it and get off this bus before I made a huge mistake, like falling in love.

  The guys went to get ready and I pulled out my noteb
ook from beneath the couch cushion. I was reading through the lyrics I’d written last night when Joe came through.

  “Morning, Cynda. Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah, thanks. How was your night?”

  “Fine, it was a short drive compared to some. I even managed to get in a few zzzz’s this morning after we got here.”

  “Really? Where did you sleep?”

  “In my seat, thing reclines like nobody’s business. It’s more comfortable than some beds I’ve slept in.”

  I grinned, he was really so sweet. “Awesome. I’d never have guessed. I was surprised how comfy the couch was too.”

  He fixed himself a cup of coffee then came back and sat down at the table. “You have an amazing voice. Why aren’t you singing professionally?”

  “What?” I felt the color drain out of my face. He’d heard me last night? I didn’t think about him up there driving, it was so quiet. Shit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “C’mon. Why are you hiding it? Your voice is beautiful, and that song should be on the radio.”

  I went from icy cold to hot, color rushed back into my cheeks and more I was sure. I was in so much trouble. If Chaos realized I’d heard his song and written lyrics I didn’t think he’d be too happy. It felt too much like stealing his song. “Listen, Joe, please don’t say anything. I…”

  “Say anything about what?” Chaos asked as he strolled down the short hallway and poured himself another cup of coffee.

  “Nothing.”

  “It couldn’t be nothing or you wouldn’t be asking him not to say anything.”

  Joe laughed and shrugged. Shit, I was screwed now. He was going to tell him everything. I pleaded with him silently not to say anything but I figured I was shit out of luck.

  “Sorry, Cynda, but it looks like your secret’s out of the bag now. She fell off the couch last night when she was sleeping. I heard a thud and pulled the bus over and found her on the floor.”

  Oh my God I could kiss him, I just might kiss him when Chaos left later. I mouthed the words thank you and he winked at me.

  “Fuck, Cyn, you okay? You didn’t get hurt did you?”

  “I’m fine. No worries. Really.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, please don’t make a big deal. That’s why I didn’t want Joe to say anything. It was just a stupid thing.”

  Chaos looked at me like he wanted me to stand up so he could examine every inch of me. Mmm, now wouldn’t that be nice. Shit, if I didn’t put a lid on my sex drive I was going to jump him yet. I needed to keep thinking about the fucktard sperm donor, he’d kill my desire for any musician in a heartbeat.

  “Okay, but maybe we should think of other sleeping arrangements for you.”

  “Yeah, what are you going to do, strap one of the guys on the roof?”

  “If I thought I’d get away with it I might, but I was thinking maybe you could sleep in my bed.”

  “With you?”

  “Yeah, it’s big enough for two, I wouldn’t touch you.”

  “Oh yeah, like I’m supposed to believe that? What about Sweets? You may not think anything’s going on between the two of you but she has a huge crush and isn’t letting go. Are you trying to get me killed?”

  “I told you don’t worry about Sweets.”

  “Easy for you to say, or maybe that’s your ulterior motive, she can kill me then you don’t have a songwriter. Uh huh, I could see you trying that.” I stuck my tongue out afterwards so he’d know I was teasing, at least I hoped he would.

  He rolled his eyes at me and pulled me off the couch and into his arms. He leaned in so his breath tickled my ear. “I don’t need you in my bed to have you.” Dropping a quick kiss on my lips, he released me. It’d happened so fast that for a minute I thought I’d imagined it, but my body sizzled from his touch. Heat raced into my cheeks and I wondered what Joe thought, but when I looked over he was gone. I wondered when he’d left us alone.

  Chaos yelled for the guys then said goodbye. I watched from the window as they got into the waiting limo and drove away. Sitting at the table I leaned over, dropped my head into my hands and knocked the notebook off. Oh shit, I wonder if he’d seen it. Nah, he’d have said something, wouldn’t he? I needed to be careful around him in more ways than one. My lips still tingled where he’d kissed me and I wondered what it’d be like to live out last night’s dreams, lying in his bed and making love all night long.

  Shit. Thinking about any of this would get me nowhere fast. I got up, poured another cup of coffee and got my stuff together to take a shower while I had the bus mostly to myself.

  I dried my hair and put on some mascara and blush. I didn’t see the need to do full make-up just to sit around the bus. Putting everything back in Chaos’s room, I saw his acoustic guitar laying in the open case by the bed. His music was there too. I hesitated but only for a second. He said they’d be gone at least two hours to do both interviews and get back with time to relax a bit before their sound check at four.

  Reaching for the guitar and his music, I sat on the edge of the bed. Spreading the sheet music out on the bed I pulled the guitar into my lap, strumming a few chords to check for tuning. Of course it was perfect.

  I hadn’t held a guitar since mom died four months ago. I couldn’t bear it, but here I was caressing it like it was a long lost love. Seeing the notes on the paper I’d been humming along with last night brought tears to my eyes. I stumbled over some of the chords in the beginning but then my fingers flew across the fret board nailing it. After playing it through twice I started it again, singing my lyrics this time. They melded together like they were written as one, at least for me. I liked it, more than liked it, and I’d have to show it to Chaos soon.

  As the sound of the last note faded away, I closed my eyes to hold back the tears. I’d sung of love and heartbreak and starting over, all the while picturing myself with Chaos. A sound in the doorway interrupted my thoughts and I opened my eyes. It was Joe and he had tears in his eyes as he slowly clapped. “Oh my God, Cynda, that was amazing.”

  I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Thanks, but I shouldn’t have done that. It’s Chaos’ song, I heard him writing it last night but I couldn’t resist putting words to it.”

  “Why not? Aren’t you here to write the songs?”

  “Yeah but…”

  “But nothing. How could he mind? You turned his music into an amazing hit song. I know these things.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  “But you’re a bus driver, sorry no offense, I appreciate you like the song but…”

  “Since we’re keeping secrets, I’ll tell you one. I used to scout for a record company, but I hated the way they treated the artists, so I quit. For a while I was going to try to go independent but then Marge got sick, so I started driving busses.”

  “Oh wow.” He looked so sad and it broke my heart. How wonderful it must have been to have a love like theirs. I put the guitar down and hugged him tight. “I’m so sorry, Joe.”

  He hugged me back and as we stood there holding on to each other, I imagined that was what it felt like to have a father. Sniffing a bit to hold in my tears, I stepped back and smiled up at him.

  “Why don’t you go back into the music biz now? You know Marge would approve.”

  “Yeah, she would but it’s been five years, I wouldn’t even know where to start. It’s changed so much.”

  “Yeah it has, so you could sign a small act maybe and help them produce their stuff.”

  “Like you?”

  “No, not like me. I’m not going into the business. I know what it does to people.”

  He gave me strange look. “How do you know?”

  Sighing, I decided he’d shared so much it was only fair to tell him the truth about me. “Have you ever heard of Preston Mitchell or The Hurricanes?”

  “Yeah. Oh damn, I knew you looked familiar. You’re his daughter aren�
�t you?”

  I nodded. “Yup, his bastard daughter. He never married my mother and he was never around. We got checks once a month. Hell, I still get them. I don’t think he even knows she died.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “How could you?”

  “I knew him, well, his manager, and I bet your father didn’t even know about you. Not really. His manager was a real dirt bag and one of the reasons I left the record company. He passed himself off as a manager for the talent but he would do whatever the record company wanted instead of what was in the best interest of the band.”

  “Really? The checks are always signed by my father. I figured he knew about us. My mother told me a long time ago who he was and she even took me to a couple of his concerts, but I’ve never met him. I figured he just didn’t give a shit about us.”

  “Honey, I bet he doesn’t even know about you.”

  Dropping to the edge of the bed I didn’t know what to think. It’s like all the air drained out of me and I was a deflated balloon, all flattened out. If what Joe said is true then everything I believed about my father was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t the asshole I’d always thought. Nah, he had to know about us, didn’t he?

  Joe lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, no, maybe, oh hell I don’t know. If what you say is true then everything I believed is a lie. How is it possible he wouldn’t know about us?”

  “Because Rod Dixon is the biggest asshole known to man.”

  “Wait? Did you say Rod Dixon?”

  “Yeah, do you know him?”

  Nodding, I was so pissed off I swear I saw red. What a fucking cocksucker, dickman wasn’t good enough anymore. He screwed over my mother and now he was trying to screw over Chaos and his band? No fucking way, not with me he wasn’t.

  “Cynda?”

  “Rod Dixon is Raining Chaos’ manager too.”

  “Fucking hell.” He ran his hand over his bald head. “I had no idea. I thought they’d gotten rid of him by now.”