Sin Worth the Penance

by M. J. Schiller

  She chuckled, letting go of the end of the bed at last, then kissed me and laid her forehead on mine as she caught her breath. When she separated from me a little, I brushed the hair away from her face gently, leaving a hand on each cheek.

  “Bridget.”

  She lifted her gaze to mine.

  “You set me ablaze, love, and I don’t ever want to lose this.”

  Her expression fell, and she parted from me, plopping upon a pillow and clutching the sheets to her chest.

  “If you have to leave, I’ll go with you.”

  “No,” she said adamantly. “It’s too dangerous.” She rolled, taking the sheets with her and sitting on the opposite edge of the bed. Her hair curled between her shoulder blades, and I marveled over the perfect curves of her body, her back left bare as she sat rigidly on the mattress.

  “We can—”

  She swiveled about. “No, Killian. I won’t have it.” She stood, abandoning the covers and circling the bed. She found her underwear and slipped into them. I reeled the sheet in, sitting as I struggled to find the words to say to make her stay. Sweeping her jeans up, she sat on the bed to put her legs through their holes.

  “Bridey.” I shifted closer. “If we’re together—”

  She whirled around. “You’re not coming with me.” Battling her zipper furiously, she searched the room until she spotted her bra. She crossed to pick it up and put it on. I slid my legs off the bed. When she came for her blouse, I snatched it, holding it to my chest.

  “Can’t we talk about this?”

  She ripped the blouse from my grasp. “No. There’s nothing to be said.”

  Desperation made my chest tight. “Damn it, Bridget. I won’t lose ya again.” I shouted, then tried to calm myself. “If you go off somewhere, and they find ya again, you’ll be on your own. But if you stay here—” I swept an arm to the side to indicate my room. “—move in with me, Paddy, Tag and I, we can keep ya safe. Stop running.” I lowered my voice. “You searched for a home for so long. Please, make your home here with me.”

  “Killian…” She softened, drawing near. “You know—” She lifted a hand to run her fingers through my hair then crouched. “I’d like nothing better than to climb back in that bed with you and never leave it. But—”

  “Then stay.”

  She opened her mouth to speak.

  “Stay for just a couple of days. They don’t know you’re here, and they may have moved on to someone else besides.”

  She shook her head. “They’ll never stop searching for me. It’s like they’re obsessed with tormenting me. I don’t even think they’d stop if I gave them all the money Tommy owed them.”

  “Please. I’m only asking for a couple of days.” I’d beg her one day at a time, if that’s what it took.

  A glimmer of a smile grew on her face. “I shouldn’t….”

  My ray of hope grew brighter. I raised my chin. “Do it anyway.”

  She fisted her hands on her hips. “Is that supposed to be a challenge, Murphey?”

  “Aye.” I grinned. “If that’ll get ya to stay.”

  She gravitated toward me. “It’d only be a couple of days, then I’d have to leave, and you’d have to let me go.”

  Not a snowball’s chance. “Ya’ll stay, then?”

  I opened my knees as she came closer, and she positioned herself between my legs. She stroked my face. “For a few days.”

  Chapter 19

  Bridget

  Killian Murphey was not a man of his word.

  And, to be fair, I was weak and just couldn’t leave him.

  Months had passed since my return to Old Head, yet I still lingered. He was very…persuasive. We actually quit arguing about it after a time and, oddly enough, my “friends” with the lead pipe didn’t reappear. Maybe Killian was right. Maybe they’d found someone else to play with. My passport seemed to have mysteriously disappeared, besides. I did stay on in Killian’s rooms, though. Just to be on the safe side. And there were other benefits to that as well, the thought of which made me grin and blush at the same time.

  Killian’s bartending shift was about finished, and—after he showered and changed—we were going into Kinsale for their Gourmet Festival. My shift had ended an hour ago, and I was giving myself a final inspection in the bathroom mirror before going downstairs for a drink before we left. I backed up until my calves hit the cold porcelain of the bathtub to try to get a gander at the full picture and make sure the hip-hugging, little black dress I wore wasn’t too little. There wasn’t enough room to see the whole thing, so I kicked off my heels and climbed onto the rim of the bathtub, so I could see the bottom hem. It looked fine, but I knew I’d be worried about whether I was showing too much the whole night. I sighed. It was the only dress I owned fancy enough for the occasion, so it would have to do. I jumped down, slipped into my shoes, tugged on the hem one more time and made my way downstairs.

  Ryan Mac Ateer was the first one to see me, and he whistled, drawing the others’ attention. The expression on Killian’s face when he turned and saw me was enough to send a wave of heat pulsing through my whole body.

  “Well, well, well,” Rory McDermott said, swiveling on his stool so that he was square to me.

  “My, aren’t ya the picture?” Deir’ added.

  “I wish I ’ad a picture of her, that’s for sure.” Ryan put in.

  “Oh, stop,” I chided with a smile, whacking him with my purse as I made my way to a seat. He and Rory twirled in tandem as I passed them, and I could feel their gaze following me. But there was only one man’s reaction I was interested in, and he was matching me step for step on his side of the bar, maintaining eye contact with me the entire time. I found an empty stool and slid onto it, a mite self-conscious because of the notice I’d garnered. If my wearing a dress caused such a response, it was clear the bar’s patrons were not used to seeing their waitress outside of jeans and T-shirts. Perhaps I needed to take better care of my appearance. I set the royal blue scarf I was using as a shawl on the bartop. “Hi,” I said softly to Killian.

  “Hi.” He leaned across the wood to give me a quick kiss, and I breathed in the clean, cedar/leather scent of his skin. He grinned. “That’s quite a dress.”

  My heart fluttered, and I urged the dress down some more. “Is it too much? Maybe I can borrow something from Bre or—”

  “It’s perfect. Don’t change a thing.”

  I glanced in the mirror behind the bar. Rory and Ryan were watching us, along with a few others of our regulars. “Are ya certain?” I fiddled with my scarf.

  He took both of my hands and brought them to his mouth, one by one, to kiss them before letting them go. “Bridget.” His expression became serious. “You’re a pure vision, and I’m humbled to be the man escorting ya this evening.”

  My cheeks flushed hot, and I blinked rapidly, as if my lashes meant to fan my face. “You’re too kind.”

  He pushed back. “Can I get ya a drink?”

  I exhaled. “Aye. Quickly.”

  He laughed. “Anything in particular?”

  I smiled. “Surprise me.”

  He made me a deliciously decadent chocolate martini, and by the time he was set ta go upstairs and get ready, I was more relaxed and loose.

  “Can I get ya anything else before I head up?”

  I crooked a finger at him. “Come here to me.”

  He leaned in, and I looped my scarf around his neck and reeled him to me until only inches separated us. I wanted to savor the anticipation of this kiss. My gaze danced over his face. “You make me happy.” My lips caressed his in a searing kiss.

  “Knock it off, you two,” Deirdre called out good-naturedly. “You’ll melt the customers.”

  “I don’t mind,” Ryan Mac Ateer replied, setting his elbows on the bar dramatically and spinning on his stool to fully ogle us.

  Deirdre frowned at Ryan. “Well you’re a pervert, ya are.” She waved a hand. “Killian, get out of here. I’ll take the bar.”

>   I let go of my scarf with one hand and used the other to slide it off Killian’s neck.

  He set his towel down. “Ya don’t have ta tell me twice.”

  I swirled as he came to my side of the bar, and he set his arms loosely on my shoulders. “I’ll be back in a flash.” He slid his focus to Ryan and Rory. “Although I’m not sure I should leave ya alone with the likes of them,” he said loud enough for them to hear.

  “Oh, I’ll watch Ryan for ya,” Rory piped up, jerking his thumb at him.

  Killian swung about. “Aye, and who’s gonna watch you, old man?” He looked at Deirdre. “I expect you’ll let me know who to cuff when I return?”

  “I’ll keep my eye on the hoolies for ya. Don’t ya worry none.”

  He gave me a peck and was off.

  Minutes later, a big bunch came in, celebrating their buddy’s impending nuptials, and Deirdre was slammed with orders.

  “Bridey, sweetheart. I know you’re off, but—”

  “Whatcha need, Deir’? Glad to help.”

  “Could ya hunt me up some olives in the big storeroom? We’re clean out.”

  I hopped off my stool. “Aye. And I’ll lend ya a hand until Killian’s ready.”

  She set shot glasses in a line. “’It would be appreciated.”

  When I entered the dish room Tag glanced over then looked again, his eyes widening.

  I shook my head. “Aye. I own a dress.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen ya in a dress before. Just not that dress.”

  I fussed with the hem again. “I shouldn’t have worn this,” I muttered on my way down the hall to the storeroom. It was much larger than we needed, but the nuns used it as a chapel, so it was fairly cavernous. We only used about a third of the space. Several shelves were set up, and pallets lined a part of the rear wall with boxes and crates stacked on them. Near the wall that was shared with the kitchen was a large propane tank which supplied our heat and hot water.

  I searched the shelves. Deir’ kept them in pretty good order, but, since olives were not something I regularly restocked, I was having a time finding them. I was startled by the sound of male voices from beyond the racks I was combing. Curious as to who would be in our storeroom, I moved in that direction. I spotted the olives on my way and plucked a jar off the shelf. When I rounded the corner, I immediately recognized Flynn, who was talking to a man with his back to me.

  “Flynn?”

  He peered in my direction, and the man in front of him turned. Ice poured down my spine, and I dropped the olives. The crash of the glass jar seemed to echo my heart. Olive juice sprayed over my shoes and up my legs, but I didn’t even look down. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

  “Well, now. Bridey, my girl.”

  He seemed pleased as punch to see me. Emotions crashed inside like bumper cars, hitting then bouncing off to some recess. Foremost among these was pure shock. Then joy at seeing him. Then bewilderment and disbelief and guilt. And underlying it all was a sharp strand of fear. He strode toward me, and an urge to shrink back tangled with a desire to rush to him.

  “T-T….” I could only stutter.

  He laughed, and the sound held an edge. “T-T…” he mocked. He patted my cheeks roughly. “She seems surprised to see me, Flynn.”

  Flynn chuckled weakly.

  Tommy clapped his hands against my arms. “Well, wifey. Haven’t ya got a kiss for your dear dead husband?”

  “I….” My Tommy, was alive? “You…you’re truly here?” I trembled, reaching out to touch him. I swallowed and closed my eyes. What did this mean? What about Killian and me? I blinked my eyes open, and a few tears fell. My brain was slow in coming around. It was like I needed to repeat the words to make myself understand. “You’re alive?”

  “Clearly.” He frowned. “My Gawd, Bridey. I didn’t remember ya being this thick.”

  “B-but, y-you….” My brain spun. I looked at Flynn as if he could verify what I thought I was seeing. Tommy wasn’t dead? I swallowed and started again, lifting a shoulder in Flynn’s direction. “He—”

  “What? He saw my murdered body dumped in the bay?” He gave me a hard shake. “We made that up. I owed money to some not very nice men—I think ya know them—and I needed for them to think I was dead.”

  My jaw tightened. He knew they beat me, but didn’t do anything to stop them? Tears rose. “But I loved you. I mourned you. Why would you do that to me? Why would you let me believe you were dead?”

  He shrugged. “Because I needed for you to cover for me.”

  “So it didn’t matter to ya that it broke my heart.” I searched his face. It was my Tommy, all right, but he had changed. I glanced away then stared him straight in the eye. I needed to ask, though I was afraid of the answer. “You said you loved me once. Was it all a lie?”

  He tilted his head as if contemplating. “Aye. Fairly so.”

  I blinked away tears. “All a lie. Everything. The times we laid awake at night planning a future? The times ya told me I changed your world?”

  He sighed. “Come on, Bridey. Grow up. I was just feeding ya crap.”

  “Why? Why lie to me? Why would ya even want to be with me if you didn’t love me?”

  “Because, Bridey. I thought ya’d be good in bed, and I wanted a taste of ya.” He moved closer. “And ya were. I was right about that.” He gripped me by my hips and towed me to him.

  “Get your hands off me.” I raised my arm to slap him, and he grabbed my wrist, slamming me back against the shelving unit, and pinning my arm above me. “I hate you.”

  “Ya love me. You hate me. Who knew you could be so fickle?”

  “And what about that day in Callum McCormick’s field?”

  He blinked. A chink in the armor of cockiness and hatred he wore.

  I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. “Was that all a lie, too?”

  He let me go and turned to walk away, rubbing his chin.

  I took a step forward. “You can tell yourself what ya want, but there was a time you really did love me. It wasn’t all about sex.”

  He waved it off and whirled around. “Who cares if I did? I was young and foolish. That’s all long ago now. Buried in the past. And while I may have been resurrected, that part of me will never live again. I was a fool. And so were you.”

  My blood boiled, but my heart ached for what could have been. “Why did you come here then?”

  “Well, ya see, those guys who beat the crap outta ya? I just can’t seem to shake those boys. So I have to fake my death again. Only it needs to be more convincing. And you, Bridey, are going to help me.”

  A pain speared from temple to temple. I lifted a hand to my forehead. “I am?”

  “Aye. Kind of you to make yourself present like ya did. It makes everything so much easier.” He slipped a gun out of one pocket, and a metal tube from the other and proceeded to attach the two.

  I looked at Flynn. He didn’t seem surprised by the weapon, and when our gazes connected, he dropped his.

  Dread crept over me. “Wh-what’s going on?”

  Tommy turned to Flynn. “Get it started.”

  Flynn crossed to pick up a can of petrol I didn’t notice a few feet off and started shaking it everywhere. In fact there were several cans.

  I stepped forward, but Tommy leveled his gun at me. I glanced at him, then yelled to Flynn. “What are you doing? Ya don’t intend to burn your parents’ business down?”

  He shrugged. “It’s insured.”

  “But some things can’t be replaced, Flynn. This is their home. Not to mention they could get—”

  Tommy made a move in my direction. “Shut your trap.”

  I shifted my focus to him. “I don’t get it. What on earth did Deir’ and Paddy ever do to you?”

  He rolled a shoulder. “Nothing. But I need the men I owe to truly believe I’m dead this time.” He gestured with the gun. “I need a body for them to take as me when this place goes up in flames.”

  “That won’t work. They won�
�t be fooled by a woman’s body, a foot shorter than you, besides.”

  “Oh, I know. You’re spot on there.” He swung the gun to his right. “That’s why I brought him.”

  Flynn raised his head, his gaze flying to Tommy, but it was too late. Tommy squeezed the trigger and the gun made a small pzzit noise. Flynn staggered backward, dropping the last can of petrol before bracing himself for a second on an old table that was abandoned there. He and the table wobbled then he slid to the floor.

  “Flynn!” I rushed toward him, but Tommy grabbed me and spun me around.

  “He’s fine, darlin’.”

  “Fine? You shot him.” I tried to pull away, but he yanked me into him.

  “Leave him, sweetheart. Don’t ya want to welcome home your long-lost hubby?” He pushed me against the end of the shelving unit. I stared at Flynn. His hands were over his gut, and blood was seeping through them. He blinked wide eyes and struggled to breathe. My heart was sick.

  “Let me go, Tommy.” I looked at him. “Da ya really think I’m gonna go somewhere with ya and leave him?” I struggled against him, but he’d always been unnaturally strong for his size.

  “Oh, no.” He smacked his gun on the metal shelf behind me. “We don’t need ta go anywhere for our little welcome home party.” He yanked on my dress, bunching it up.

  “Stop!”

  He clutched at my throat with one hand, while with the other he worked fabric out of the way. “Stop fighting me, damn it.”

  “Tommy! Stop. You’re hurting me.”

  “Oh, you’re gonna get a whole lot more hurt if ya don’t do as I say. You’re still my wife and ya will satisfy me.”

  “Are ya mad? I’ll not do anything with ya.” I tried to kick him, but he shifted his weight to pin me.

  “Be still!”

  “Don’t!” I bucked and tried to free myself.

  “Fine.” He grabbed my hair in one hand and dug his fingers into my upper arm with the other, tearing me away from the shelves. A blow to the back of my legs sent me crashing to my knees. Then he was atop me, pushing me onto my stomach.

  “Stop!” I scrambled to dislodge him. He lifted my head by my hair and bashed it onto the floor. I was stunned for a few seconds, and he took advantage of the opportunity. Letting me go, he sat, straddling me. I heard the metallic sound of his buckle being released. “No!” I shouted. “I won’t let it happen again.” I struggled with a desperation I could taste like the blood in my mouth.