Tears of a Clown

by MB Mulhall

  “Where are you taking me?” Jazz cackled.

  “To my secret lair so I can perform lewd sex acts and experiments on you!”

  “Well…so long as my virginity stays intact, I guess it’ll be okay.” Jazz raised an eyebrow. Darcy scowled.

  “Well, that former Pres of ours said oral sex isn’t real sex, right? Soooo we can totally do that and keep you pure and pristine for your wedding day!” Darcy pondered it before nodding her head.

  “It’s a deal.” Jazz laughed as she slowed and turned into a long winding driveway. Parking the car in front of a classic plantation style house, she slid out of the car.

  “Ahhh home sweet freakin’ home.” Darcy stood speechless. The house was colossal, with mile high white pillars and two sprawling balconies, one downstairs and one on the upper level. The place made her nervous, like she wasn’t good enough to enter its hallowed halls.

  “Uhh what are we doing here? Seriously.” Jazz hooked her arm through Darcy’s.

  “We’re going to spend some quality girl time together. I figure after everything that’s gone down lately, you could use it.”

  “That’s sweet of you Jazz, really, but is uhh…well…is your brother here? I think I’m probably the last person he wants to see right now…”

  “I doubt he’s here, but who knows if he’ll decide to show later. I am not letting his jerkiness keep me from having my new friend around. Come on, let’s get a snack!”

  Darcy let herself be pulled into the house. Not to her surprise, the place was spotless. Floors shone and mirrors were fingerprint free. Darcy wondered if she should have taken her shoes off at the door.

  Jazz maneuvered them towards the back of the house. Darcy could hear a woman singing, quite off key, over the sounds of a knife against a glass cutting board. When they entered the kitchen, she was surprised to see it looked …normal, lived in. An older version of Jazz, complete with similar pixie haircut, stood at the marble topped island chopping vegetables. The woman, whom Darcy assumed was the twins’ mother, continued to sing and dance around, oblivious to her new audience.

  A small speeding blur came careening around the corner of the island, stopping only because Jazz’s legs got in the way. Darcy looked down to see crazy mop of black ringlets bouncing up and down.

  “Jazz! JazzJazzJazz!”

  “Junie, my little poppet!” Jazz bent down and picked up the tiny bundle of energy. Plopping the toddle on her hip she turned to face Darcy.

  “Too bad you took off your makeup. Juniper would have been ecstatic to have a clown in the house.”

  “Juniper? Is this your uhhh…” Jazz laughed, picking up on what Darcy was trying to skirt around.

  “You know my kind can’t get each other pregnant, right? Not without help anyhow.”

  “Jasmine! Don’t you go teaching your sister about your evil ways.” Jazz’s mom had stopped chopping and was frowning at the trio of young girls. Jazz rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  “She’s two, Mom. I’m not teaching her anything. Besides, either you’re born gay or you’re not. It’s not like they offer classes at the local community college called ‘How to be a Homo 101’.” Ignoring the murderous look her mother was giving her, Jazz turned her attention back to Darcy.

  “This, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, is my little sister Juniper, aka June Bug, Junie Bee, Jupiter and all sorts of other pet names. Say hi to my friend Darcy, June Bug.”

  The little girl got shy and hid her face in her sister’s shoulder. She peeked out at the stranger, her wide dark brown eyes identical to her older brother’s. Darcy smiled at her.

  “Hi Juniper. You sure are pretty. Are you a princess?” Darcy pointed to the frilly pink dress the toddler was sporting. That got the kid’s attention. She leaned away from her sister.

  “YES! Princess Jasmine!”

  “Hey! I’m Jasmine!” The big sister argued with a smile. Juniper pouted, her tiny pink lips pursed like a barely opened rose bud.

  “No fair. Me be Jasmine!”

  “Hey kid, don’t blame me. If I had my way, we never would have been named after plants in the first place.”

  “Ungrateful brat. Plants are beautiful and smell nice,” her mother murmured with a slight smile. Jazz rolled her eyes again.

  “So she’s two? That’s quite a gap isn’t it?” Jazz smirked.

  “Juniper is an Oops baby. You’d think, at their age, that my folks would know about protection, but I guess even old folks get caught up in the heat of the moment.”

  “Oops! Oops oops oops.” Juniper babbled like a parrot.

  “Jasmine Petal Marshall! Watch your mouth! You know she repeats whatever she hears.” Darcy feigned a cough to cover up the laugh she gave upon hearing her friend’s full name. Jazz frowned darkly.

  “You mention that to anyone and you’re taking another trip to toilet town,” Jazz threatened under her breath.

  “No problem…JP.”

  “JP! JPJPJP!” Juniper clapped her little hands with joy over her sister’s new nickname. Darcy couldn’t help herself and burst out laughing at Jazz’s murderous expression. She was wiping the tears from her eyes when another unhappy face suddenly filled her view.

  “What’s the matter with you Jazz? Are you trying to make me snap by bringing her here?” Judd glared at Darcy. “Get the hell out of my life already.”

  “HELL! Hellhellhell” The baby chanted her new favorite word while Mrs. Marshall looked on, murder in her eyes. Judd plucked Juniper out of Jazz’s hold and hitched her up on his hip.

  “Bad word Junie. Don’t say that, okay?” She frowned at him, her little lip quivering.

  “Dudd bad?”

  “Yes. I’m bad for saying it around you.” She threw her pudgy little arms around his neck and gave him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.

  “Dudd no bad! Dudd good! Love Dudd. And Jazz. And momma. And new friend!” She pointed at Darcy as if Judd hadn’t noticed someone new was in the kitchen. Darcy grinned at Junie’s pronunciation of her brother’s name, but the smile slid off her face when he stared back at her. She unconsciously took a step back to put space between them.

  “Ya know Jazz, we can do this another day. I should get home.”

  “Don’t be stupid,” Jazz said stepping between them. “You’re here as my guest. If he doesn’t like it, he can go lock himself in his room.” If looks could kill, Darcy figured Jazz would be a pile of ash at her feet.

  “I don’t know…” Darcy didn’t want to cause Judd any grief. Exasperated, he threw his free hand up in the air.

  “Ooh you’re just going to do whatever the hell you want anyway. It’s not like you ever listen to anyone else. You and Jazz are very much alike in that way.”

  “Judd! Am I going to have to gag both my elder children today? You be polite to your sister’s guest!”

  “Yeah Judd. Be polite,” Jazz mimicked.

  “Polite!” Juniper echoed. Darcy felt awful. She didn’t want to upset him anymore than she already had.

  Judd kissed Juniper on the forehead and gently placed her on the ground before giving Darcy and his sister an annoyed look. He left the kitchen without another word. Darcy released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

  Jazz skipped over to the ceramic beehive cookie jar that sat on the counter. She extracted a handful of sweet treats and put them on a plate.

  “Cookie!” Juniper’s sharp eye did not miss what her sister was doing. Jazz looked to her mother, who looked exhausted.

  “Half. She’s got to eat some real food for dinner.” Jazz nodded and broke a cookie in half before giving it to her baby sister. Juniper squealed and thanked them before running off to find her sippy cup.

  “Milk? Juice? Soda?” Jazz inquired while holding the fridge door open.

  “Do you have Faygo?” When Jazz looked perplexed, Darcy shook her head. “Water is fine.” Jazz shrugged her shoulders grabbing a juice box.

  “Suit yourself.”

  With sna
cks and beverages acquired, Jazz led Darcy up an immense sweeping staircase to the second story. They passed a couple of closed doors, one with music pumping from behind it. Judd’s door, she assumed.

  Jazz opened the door at the end of the hall to reveal a large, messy room with rich red walls and accents of black lacquer and goldenrod yellow.

  “Welcome to my love den.” Jazz swept her arm to motion Darcy to enter.

  “Lots of loving go on in here?” Darcy asked, gingerly stepping over a pile of dirty clothes.

  “Sure!” Jazz said with a grin. “Self-lovin’!”

  “Better than nothing I suppose.” Darcy shrugged her shoulders.

  Jazz swept some clothes off a desk chair. She rolled it over for Darcy to sit in before taking a spot on the bed across from her guest.

  “So, did I see you roaming the halls with Chaz this afternoon?” Jazz asked, before shoving a cookie into her mouth.

  “Yeah…” Jazz swallowed.

  “Yeah? That’s it? Did he apologize for being an asshole earlier?”

  “Oh, yes, actually he did. He’s got something else going on that had him all upset. He wouldn’t say what though. I uhh…kind of broke down and told him about the fight and he took over the job of seeing me to and from class.”

  “Well that was nice of him I guess.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I found out what was up with the black eye bit from my brother.” Darcy was surprised.

  “Oh?” Jazz nodded her head.

  “Seems they bumped into each other when Judd ran out at our mother’s request to pick up some milk. He spotted Chaz in the store but ignored him. Stupid Chaz followed him out and started telling Judd that he better not be playing with you. Judd tried to tell him to mind his own business, but Chaz was all belligerent and got in Judd’s face. I guess my brother gave him a shove and tried to walk away, but Chaz took a swing and Judd hit back out of habit. I don’t think he intended to connect as well as he did…but in a way I think it helped.”

  “Helped with what?” Darcy asked, confused.

  “I think, while Chaz might not step back, at least he realizes that Judd must be serious about you. He wouldn’t have bothered to react if he wasn’t.” Darcy remembered Chaz’s earlier remark about how he thought Judd cared. She lapsed into silence, a sad distant look on her face.

  Eventually she perked up. “OH! I totally figured out how to get my revenge on the bitch squad. Want to lend a hand?” Jazz sat up straight, a huge grin on her face.

  “Do pigs roll in mud? Does a bear shit in the woods? Are boobs the greatest thing God ever invented? Of course I want in!” Darcy leaned in and explained her plans to Jazz.

  “Holy crap. Best. Idea. Ever. I am all over that. What can I do to help?” Darcy giggled at Jazz’s choice of words.

  “Well, Chaz is in as well. I thought maybe if the two of you joined the Harvest committee, then we’d have an inside edge to get things done. I don’t think they’d trust anything coming from me.” Jazz agreed.

  “Good idea. All right, tomorrow I join. Tonight, we research.” Jazz picked up a laptop off her bedside table and started searching for info, cackling when she found something she liked. “This is going to be so good. We’ll have to get someone to tape it.”

  They surfed the web for a while, bookmarking recipes and webpages they thought would be helpful. There was a knock on the door and Jazz’s mom stuck her head in the room. She saw the two of them sitting close on the bed.

  “Jazz, if you’re going to have umm female company in your room, you need to leave this door open.”

  “Moooom. Nothing is going on. Darcy likes dick.”

  “JASMINE! You do not speak to me like that.” Darcy was mortified and wished she could melt into a puddle under the bed.

  “Oh. So sorry. Mother, there is no need for you to fear that illicit copulation is going on in my boudoir as Darcy prefers penis over vagina. Is that better?”

  “MY GOD Jazz shut up!” Darcy smacked her friend with a pillow she had grabbed from the end of the bed. Her face was flaming red with embarrassment.

  “Geez, you folks are prudish.”

  “Enough Jasmine. I came to see if your friend would be staying for dinner.” Practically identical faces questioned Darcy. She quickly shook her head.

  “Thanks for the offer, Mrs. Marshall, but my dad is expecting me home for dinner. In fact, I didn’t realize it was so late already. I should get going.” Darcy stood to leave.

  “You’re welcome another time dear. Jazz, you’ll give her a ride home and come right back?” Jazz stood to grab her keys, but then slowly sat back down.

  “Actually, I have tons of work to still catch up on. Can you ask Judd if he’ll take her? You wouldn’t want me to be up all night trying to get homework done, do you?” Jazz put on a sweet smile and batted her eyelashes.

  “I’ll go ask your brother.” As soon as Mrs. Marshall stepped out of the room, Darcy turned on Jazz. For the second time that night, if looks could kill, Jazz would be dead. Darcy hissed at her “friend”.

  “What are you doing?! He wants nothing to do with me. I would rather walk than ride with him!”

  “The feeling is mutual.” Darcy froze, her face coloring again. Her timing sucked. Hard.

  “I didn’t mean that quite as harshly as it may have sounded,” she said quietly.

  “Whatever.” Judd turned to his sister. “Keys?”

  “Oh…umm, I had to drive all around this afternoon looking for Darcy who was taking the scenic route home. I’m almost on empty. Can you take the bike?” She batted her lashes some more.

  “You understand that coy shit doesn’t work on siblings, right?” Jazz innocently shrugged her shoulders. “You’re a bitch.”

  “Takes one to know one.” Jazz stuck her tongue out at him.

  “Lord only knows why I missed you when you were gone.” He turned to leave. “Let’s go. I don’t have all night to play taxi.” Darcy threw one last nasty look at Jazz, who waved, a big smile on her face.

  “Have fun storming the castle!” Darcy shook her head. “OH! I’ll pick you up tomorrow! Wait for me this time.” Darcy gave a limp wave over her shoulder before walking out.

  Silently, she followed Judd out the front door, her heart beating in her throat. She couldn’t help but admire his ass a bit as he walked down the stairs in front of her. He reached the bike and held out the helmet. She swallowed thickly.

  “You don’t really have to give me a ride. It’s not so far. I can walk.” He closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, as if trying to hold back a harsh retort. Again, he shoved the helmet in her direction.

  Not wanting to anger him further, Darcy complied. Judd effortlessly slung his long leg over the shiny beast and motioned for her to get on. In a not quite so graceful manner, Darcy climbed on behind him. He reached behind him and grabbed her arms, wrapping them around his waist. Before she could protest, he started up the bike and jetted out of the driveway.

  It was as an exhilarating ride as the time before, but Darcy couldn’t enjoy it. Her nerves were getting the best of her. Initially, she tried to keep her distance, but the speed of the bike and the wind whipping around caused her to take cover by tentatively resting her head on Judd’s broad back. She felt him tense up, but he relaxed just as quickly, which made her feel better about her decision. Letting her mind wander, she imagined that she had him locked in a sensual embrace, rather than holding on for dear life. She pictured herself placing kisses on the back of his neck, her hands dipping dangerously low toward his lap. Would he respond if she made a move? Was she daring enough to try? Could the rejection be any worse than she already felt earlier in the day?

  Judd pulled up in front of Darcy’s house before she knew it. He stopped the bike, but didn’t get off. She slid off, her legs aching slightly. Her hands trembled as she tried to undo the chin strap. It was a stall tactic while she tried to build her courage. Judd sighed and reached over. As if he was handling something fragile, he undid the
strap and slowly lifted the helmet off her head. Her red curls sprung out in a million different directions as they were released from their temporary fiberglass containment chamber. His arm dropped, the helmet hanging from his hand. Darcy swallowed.

  “Thanks, for the ride.” Judd nodded his head and turned to start the bike. It was now or never. She couldn’t take time to debate it anymore. Deciding she’d regret it if she didn’t take the chance, she called out, “Wait!”

  Judd turned back, surprise written on his face. Darcy took a deep breath and stepped forward, grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket, the cold teeth of the zipper biting into the soft pads of her palms. In one swift motion, she pulled him towards her, planting her mouth on his. She felt his lips open in shock. She took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sending her tongue to explore his soft, hot, wet mouth. He made a slight growling sound before Darcy heard something hit the ground. Belatedly, she realized it was the helmet. His hands, now free, gripped her waist tightly. Darcy welcomed the pain and made a soft moaning sound. Their tongues swirled and danced with each other. Her heart was pounding, loud and fast. Judd’s was mimicking the beat. His mouth left hers and started moving down her neck, leaving a hot moist trail from jaw to clavicle. Big strong hands traveled from her waist towards her full aching breasts. Darcy thought she would die if he didn’t touch her soon. His mouth returned to hers, hungry and vicious. Her head swam as she threw her arms around his neck to keep from collapsing at his feet. When his hand finally cupped her breast, the thumb running over her erect nipple, she threw her head back and moaned.

  “OOhh Judd.”

  The sound of her voice seemed to snap him back to reality. His hands dropped from out under her shirt and he gently pushed her back, his breathing heavy and ragged. Darcy looked at him, hurt and bewildered. Had she done something wrong? Did he not like aggressive women? She was sure he had been enjoying it as much as she had.

  “I can’t.” Was all he said as he shook his head. Tears sprang to her eyes. Her throat tightened. She was having trouble catching her breath.