Chapter Two
Elias
I need a distraction. Any distraction.
Mara Catano is my weakness and I cannot let her consume me again. She’s burned me once; hell, she’s burned me more than that, and I seem to go panting after her every time I see her hot as fuck body coming my way.
She’s my poison.
I check on Luka, making sure everyone is in place guarding our king, and also that he’s having a good time at his coronation party. His happiness is my happiness. When you’re an advisor to the king, you have to be willing to cause discomfort if it’s to protect the country, but when things are going well, as they are now, it’s my job to make sure he’s content so everything continues to fly sky-high. Advising his father was a different story. He created a constant state of turmoil and was a tyrant. It was a life that caused me misery and one I don’t want to ever go back to.
Ensuring Titus Catano went to prison almost cost me everything and would have if it weren’t for Luka, his son. I owe him everything. And part of that also means I stay away from his older sister, Mara.
She just so happens to be the only woman who has ever gotten under my skin, but what does that matter when there are so many other women out there to distract me?
I look around and see the perfect deterrent. The tall, legs-to-the-sky blond who is glancing shyly my way. Brienne, the queen’s protector, looks at me like I have fallen from heaven and I admit, she intrigues me. I step closer to her and watch her face flush. I like having that effect on women—who wouldn’t?
Mara dragged me away from her earlier in the evening, but I wasn’t quite done.
She’s standing in the shadows, trying not to be noticed, which makes her all the more fascinating.
“You cast a beautiful picture standing against that stone. You look like a regal knightess, ready to take on anything.”
She jumps with my words and I laugh, holding up my hands in surrender.
“A knightess? Is there such a thing?”
“I think in your case, there should be.” I smile and she looks like she might faint.
It reminds me of the first night I met her. She’d come to a party at my house and when I welcomed her, she looked like she might run. Before we could talk too much more, Mara had come by and shown her fangs, claiming me and making Brienne shrink into the wall. I’d been both impressed and annoyed that Mara had conquered Brienne so easily.
I’ve barely thought about Mara’s fangs and I already feel her fingers on my arm. Like clockwork. I ignore the heat on my skin from her touch and look down as she loops her hand through my arm and pulls me away from Brienne. It would be comical if it weren’t such a turn-on. I look back at Brienne with an apologetic glance, but she’s turned away.
I look down at the woman who owns me and sigh. “Mara, seriously? Twice in one evening? I’m beginning to think you enjoy being the villain.”
“What’s villainous about taking what’s mine?”
My dick twitches at the thought of being hers, but I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “Yours? In what reality are you living in?”
Her eyes look wounded, but she bites her lip and leans in closer. I’ve always been able to count on her coming back for more. If I were honest with myself, I might say it’s what I live for, but I haven’t been honest with myself in years, so I push her hand off and glare at her.
“I remember everything,” she whispers, on her tiptoes so she can reach my ear.
It takes everything in me not to pull her tight against me and worship her body against the nearest tree.
“Oh, then you remember when I told you to get the idea of us out of your head?”
“I remember you saying that and then not even two weeks later sticking your tongue down my throat down by the farsynthia fields. You’re so convincing.” Her lips brush against my ear and my eyes close, my hand making its way to her hip. “You kissed me until my lips hurt and I had beard burn for days. My mom thought I was getting acne at twenty.”
I chuckle against her hair and feel her lips lift on my neck as she steps back down, slowly, making sure to slide against my body as she does so.
Mara Catano is so fucking good at this game she plays. When I look at her, I see every girl she’s ever been. From the moment we met and all the times in between. She’s never had an awkward phase, and I should know. I’ve been watching her for as long as I can remember.
I hear my mother’s voice and her father’s voice, both in agreement over one thing and one thing only: that I do not belong with Mara.
I step back and put my arms on hers, setting her back even further.
“Our lips might like each other, but that’s all it is. Attraction. I’ll try to be clearer this time. I’ve tried to be diplomatic about it and to keep your friendship, but the truth is, you and I will never be more than friends, Mara. Ever. I feel nothing more than friendship for you.”
The sharp intake of her breath guts me and she puts a hand to her mouth, taking yet another step away from me. I want to reach out, pull her back, and kiss my words away, but that would be old habits repeating themselves. I can’t keep doing this to her.
So I do what I do best.
Lie once again.
To her, to myself.
And I’ll be lying to whoever I bury myself inside tonight, trying to forget.
* * *
Instead, I find myself at the table, my other toxin.
The shame I feel just by sitting down is a heavy weight that I can’t seem to shake off, but I take the gin the server offers and let it burn all the way down my throat.
Shame slowly fades to want.
I want Mara.
I want to be worthy of her.
Want fades to the stark truth.
Unless I win, I will never be worthy of her.
Who am I kidding? Even if I win, I won’t be worthy of her.
I push the chips out and hope for the best. I need a break. Just one turn of luck and I will be okay. It’s happened before. I won more shartrovs than I knew what to do with when I first started. And then my downward spiral began.
I’ve become someone I hate.
But the drive to crawl out of the hole I’m in by sitting here and risking everything rules me. I can admit that. I’m under the spell of the game.
I mentally shake myself. I can stop at any time. It does not control me.
I lift my hand for another tumbler and it’s placed in my hand seconds later. I drain it dry and feel the sweat forming on my forehead as the dealer turns over the card.
No.
My heart trips over itself, but I don’t allow myself to even wince when it’s bad. The dealer takes all my money and I stand up and try to get my bearings before stepping away.
There’s no time to waste, no time to think about how far back this sets me, losing this money.
I move to another table. This one will be different; I should’ve started here.
* * *
I lost big last night.
I crawled into bed around two and tossed and turned all night. First thing on my mind this morning is wondering how I’m going to get myself out of this mess.
My phone rings and I pick it up. My college roommate’s name flashes across the screen.
“Gentry? How the hell are ya?”
“Hey man. Pretty well. How are you?”
“Oh, you know…could be better.” I chuckle to make it sound a little less dire and it works—he chuckles too. “It’s been a while. I miss you, you bastard.”
He laughs louder. “Yeah, I miss you too, you filthy wanker. Wanted to let you know I’m moving to Niaps. Taking a position at the high school.”
“Seriously? You’ll have to clean up that mouth before they let you in there.”
“You know that’s gonna be fucking hard for me, but I’m up for the challenge.”
“I think you’ll love living in Niaps. When do you get here?”
“Month or so. Set some time for me on your calendar.
Now that you’re running the king’s life, you probably don’t get out much, yeah?”
I think of the night before and wish I didn’t get out as much as I do. My bank account would be a lot happier with me right now.
“Always time for you. It’ll be good having you around.”
We hang up and I feel a little lighter having talked to him. I need more friends in my life since I don’t have Mara anymore. Luka and Gentry are all I have left.
Chapter Three
Mara
I go to bed fuming and toss and turn all night. The few hours of sleep I get are filled with crazy dreams of Elias, mostly him looking at me with disappointment and rejection. I wake up disoriented and sad. I don’t bother going to the dining room to eat, instead ringing Chelsea to bring something to my room.
When she enters the room tentatively twenty minutes later, I wave her inside and she sets a large tray on my bed.
“Did you bring coffee?”
“Of course.” She turns over the cup and pours coffee into it, the smell filling the room with its rich aroma.
I sigh in relief. “Thank you, Chelsea. Have you seen any of the others this morning?”
“All is quiet today.”
“Are we expecting anyone?”
I ask this of Chelsea most days because she is the only one who will give me an answer; she’s also the most likely to know the answer since her menu changes accordingly.
“Basile is having a small meeting with the advisors early this evening. It’ll be a quiet reception before the supper hour.”
Uncle Basile is just loving having more control now that my father is out of the way and I daresay he’s had more meetings lately than my father had during his entire reign. I roll my eyes and nod while my mind schemes ahead to a way to get Elias’s attention this evening.
It might not be the best plan, but after I have a little caffeine in me, I call Alex. He’s Nadia’s brother, but unlike Nadia, my former best friend who betrayed my father with Luka, Alex and I have remained close. As always, he’s happy to hear from me.
“I’ve been missing you.” His voice is practically a purr.
“Well, how about you come to see me? Dinner tonight? Drinks before?”
“You’ve been missing me too, I take it.” He sounds smug and I roll my eyes for a second time this morning. A sure sign of a tiring day.
“Don’t get too cocky, Alex. It isn’t pretty.”
He laughs and I smile in spite of how annoying he is. He’s sexy as all hell, so he can usually get away with the obnoxious arrogance here and there, but I’m not in the mood for it today. I just need him to be here at a certain time tonight and then he can stay or go—makes no difference to me.
“I’ll see if I can shuffle some things around, make sure flying conditions are perfect and whatnot. You know the drill.”
It takes him an hour to get here on his jet, so I’m not too worried about the logistics—he’ll figure it out. I hang up, satisfied.
I spend the rest of the morning and afternoon doing beauty treatments on my skin and have a massage. I deserve it after that insufferable day yesterday. Right before I know Elias is scheduled to arrive, I slip into my cream lacy slip of a dress. It fits like a second skin and is the perfect mix of demure and naughty, one of my favorite ways to dress…unless I’m going for all-out naughty. Not today. I grin at myself in the mirror and like what I see.
I see Elias’s car pull into the driveway and I head down the stairs to be the first one he sees when he walks in. The doorbell rings and on cue, I answer it, smiling wide. I make sure to let my face fall with just the right amount of disappointment but a rallying attempt to be kind.
“Oh…hello.” I smile but look past him enough that after his jaw has dropped with the view of me, he looks over his shoulder to see where I’m looking.
“Were you expecting someone else?” When he turns back to look at me, his eyes sear through my skin and I suppress a shiver.
“I was, but it’s nice to see you too, friend.” I hold out my arm and he takes it, walking inside. He’s unable to hide the smirk and I hide my own, knowing him so well.
I didn’t believe a word he said last night.
I look outside one more time before I close the door, knowing full well Alex will be another five minutes at least.
Once Elias is inside, he turns to me and slides his hands up and down my bare shoulders.
“You look good enough to eat.”
I lower my chin and look at him with lowered eyelids. “Is that what you’ve come to do?”
His eyes look feral and I want to capture the moment and escape with him right here, right now, while he looks at me like this.
He reaches up and rubs his hand across his scruffy chin. “Oh, how you wish. I’m here for a meeting, unfortunately, but what are you doing so—”
The doorbell rings and I pat his arm. “Hold that thought.”
Uncle Basile walks into the room just as I’m almost to the door and I groan inwardly. So help me if he wrecks this. I hold the door open wide and Alex stands there, looking like sex in a suit. I sigh and stare at him. He really is pretty. He doesn’t affect me the way Elias does—at all—but he’ll do in a pinch. He takes my hand and twirls me around, whistling under his breath.
“Hot damn. You are ready for me,” he says just loud enough for everyone to hear.
I hear Elias curse behind me and it notches up my grin a thousand watts. I turn around and put my hand on Alex’s arm, loving the way Elias scowls at him. He’s never cared much for Alex, but he holds his hand out anyway and they shake.
“Can’t stay away for too long, can you, Alex?” Elias asks. “What’s happening this evening? Opera? A walk on the beach?” His tone is light, but his jaw is ticking after every other word.
“We’re having a few drinks and then dinner here tonight,” I jump in. “You should join us.”
Alex looks down at me and I can tell every thought he’s thinking. This isn’t what he’d planned for tonight, but he’ll improvise as long as I reward him later. He looks back at Elias and smiles. “I’m here for whatever this lady has in mind. Always.”
Uncle Basile clears his throat and motions for Elias to join him. “Duty calls, I’m afraid. But you are welcome for dinner…I have a feeling I’ll need backup,” he adds. He’s never been too crazy about Alex either.
“See you in an hour then,” I tell Elias and then looking at Alex, I straighten his tie and say, “That gives us plenty of time…”
I hear Elias’s giant inhale and almost feel an ounce of pity for the guy. Almost. But no. He only feels friendship for me? No. That’s never been the case. He could’ve had me a long time ago and for whatever wishy-washy reason thinks either he isn’t ready or I’m not ready. I’m ready, I want to scream from the rooftops. But something tells me it’ll take more than that for me to get through to Elias. That would be way too easy.
Nothing worth fighting for comes without a price.
* * *
I go through the motions of listening to Alex talk about all the politics in Yuman while we wait for supper. My heart isn’t in it, but my father always taught me that nothing comes for free. You ask a favor, you have to expect to give something in return. That’s just life.
When he’s all talked out, he turns to me and says, “I’ve missed you. Kiss me like you mean it. Like old times.”
I hold my hand up. “No, I’m good. I don’t want to get my hair messed up before we eat.” I go into the bathroom and reapply my lipstick while Alex watches me from the bed.
He puts his hands behind his head and leans against the headboard. “You’re still hot for Lancaster, aren’t you?” He shakes his head and makes an exasperated sound with his mouth. “When are you gonna get it? You’re better than him. He’ll never be able to give you what you need.”
“Oh, and you could?” I frown at him. “Elias is making a name for himself. He has ambition and plenty of money in the meantime.”
“He’s
no prince.” Alex stands up and walks behind me, putting his hands around my waist. “And you think ‘plenty of money’ will ever be enough for you—when you’re calling me to fly on my jet to see you with less than eight hours’ notice?” He laughs. “You’d last with him for a week, maybe two, and then you’d be calling me up. ‘Alex, I need you. Turns out I love your filthy rich cock.’” He laughs harder and I turn around and hit his arm, scowling.
“Don’t be so gross. You and I have never been more than this,” I point between the two of us, “and that’s all we’ll ever be. I love Elias. He just needs to realize he loves me too.”
Alex shakes his head again and walks back into the bedroom. “It’s always been a game with you, Mara. Some people don’t enjoy games as much as I do.”
“I don’t care about some people, only Elias.”
“God, what is it about him that turns you into this—” He stops and I wait to hear what he’s going to call me, but he doesn’t finish.
I spritz on more perfume and stand in the doorway. “We can’t always choose who we love. My heart chose his a long time ago. I might do everything else wrong, but I don’t ignore my heart.”
“You’re ridiculous. Come here.” He holds his arms out and I step into them. He kisses me hard, his tongue exploring my mouth and his hands pressing me closer to him. When he pulls back, he messes my hair up slightly and steps away, looking me over. “May as well make him suffer by thinking you’ve been up to no good.” He grabs his crotch and laughs. “Or I can just brag about how good your mouth is.”
I groan and loop my arm through his, opening the door to the hallway. “That’s the last kiss and now we’re even.”
Chapter Four
Mara
Alex and I show up fashionably late for supper, right behind my mother. I left my hair tousled and grinned when I saw how puffy my lips were in the hallway mirror, broadcasting to everyone what we’ve been up to. My eyes briefly narrow on Brienne, who is staring at Elias, and I make sure my glance barely skates over him. I bite my lip when I see that he’s staring at me with something close to awe and fury.
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