“Where will she go?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. She’s resourceful. I’m sure she’ll think of something. Let’s just hope it’s legal.”
He turns then and it’s like he’s seeing me for the first time. His brow furrows and he puts his hand on my cheek.
“What’s going on?”
“Isn’t it enough that I’m just coming around to the fact that my parents are guilty of terrible crimes and have enough bitterness for an entire country?”
His lips tilt up. “I wish that were all. But no, I think there’s more.”
I sigh. “You’ve always known me too well.”
“Is it Elias?”
“Isn’t it always?”
“Well, this dalliance with Alex has had you distracted…”
“Elias loves me, Luka. I know he does. He-he proved it today.” I swallow hard and sigh a long weighted sigh. “But he’s done this time. He wants nothing to do with me. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand why. After the way he’s treated me, I’m not sure I could ever trust him with my heart again.”
“I know he loves you. I think he’s always thought he wasn’t worthy of you.”
“Well, right now he isn’t.”
Luka’s jaw tightens and his eyes blaze through me. “Why do you say that? Talking like that will never get him to come to you.”
“I only mean the way he’s acting. Nothing else. I don’t care what he does, how rich, how poor…how established. I want him to be safe and happy and to just love me back, but that’s never going to happen.”
“I think he’ll have to come to it on his own. Unfortunately, he’s felt this way so long, it might take a while.”
“Well, I won’t be waiting when he finally figures it out.”
Chapter Nineteen
Mara
The next couple of days are tedious. I crave Elias. In my weak moments, I almost go to the house and force him to confront me. In my strong moments, I vow to never speak to him again.
Alex calls on Friday and I tell him not to come.
“But why? It will look suspicious if I stop showing up, especially when we’re just putting it out there.”
“I don’t want to continue with this plan. It wasn’t smart to begin with, and I’m not feeling well anyway.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just been a hard week.”
“Well, I should come then and distract you, we could have a little fun…” His voice turns flirty and I sigh into the phone.
“See? This is why it’s a bad idea.”
“Come on, Mara. When did you stop being the life of the party?”
“When that part of me died. It was time I grew up.”
“Damn, girl. That’s depressing.”
“I know. Now…thanks for playing along, for being willing, but now you’re free. Go play with the Targetta twins and I’ll talk to you later.”
“Tornini,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Bye, Alex.”
I hang up and go out by the pool. Brienne is walking back inside just as I set down my towel. She has a bruise on her cheek and my eyes narrow on her. She lowers her head and walks faster.
“Hey!” I call.
She doesn’t slow down and I go after her, tugging on her shirt when I catch up with her. She turns around, already exasperated with me, and I take in her swollen cheek and bruise.
“What happened to you?”
“None of your business.”
“It is when you’re in my household.”
“I’m not in your household, I’m in Eden’s household.”
I shake my head at her and get in her face. “I still can’t stand anything about you, and if I find out you’re causing trouble for my family or Elias, I will make your life a living hell.”
She puts a finger on my shoulder and pushes me back with that one finger. It hurts and I push her hand away. God, she’s strong.
“Some of us aren’t as manipulative as you, Mara. Always so quick to believe the worst. Why don’t you look in the mirror sometime? You’ll see all the venom there. The rest of us are actually quite decent.”
I step back like I’ve been hit. A little dose of the truth will do that. With the people I love, I wholeheartedly trust, but anyone else…well, they’re just not allowed in my circle. It’s safer that way. And smarter. Still, it stings. I don’t like being told I’m full of venom.
She takes that opportunity to walk away from me, the pious look on her face making me want to vomit. I can’t stand her. And yet her words niggle the back of mine like an irritating feather. I doubt that I’ve misjudged her, but I’ve been so wrong about everyone else. Maybe I’ve been wrong about her too.
Eden steps into the hallway and I want to run the other way. Too many confrontations in too little time. But I stand my ground. She pauses when she sees me standing there.
“Luka told me how you stood by him against your mother. Thank you, Mara. I know that had to be extremely painful.”
I look at her in surprise, not bothering to hide it. Dammit. Why does she have to be the adult here when she’s still just a baby? I have several years on her and she keeps showing me up, extending kindness, for God’s sake. It’d be a lot easier to hate her if she’d go back to being the sniveling, wide-eyed girl she was in the beginning. Finally I nod. “It was. I’m just sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”
“Well, I’m just glad you’re supporting him now. You are, right? You know he only wants what’s best for you and for this country?”
I study her, seeing how her eyes brighten when she speaks of my brother, how fevered she becomes on his behalf. “You really do love him, don’t you?” My nose wrinkles just a little bit when I say it; after all, I can’t change all of my feelings about my sister-in-law in a matter of seconds.
“Yes, with all my heart.”
The surprise and honesty in her voice are unexpectedly comforting. Is it possible for one of the Catanos to be in a healthy relationship?
We’re still not going to be best friends. Probably. But maybe she’ll become more bearable. As much as I hate to admit it, my brother is happier than he’s ever been despite all of our family dysfunction…because of her.
She starts to walk past me and I reach out and touch her shoulder. “Have you seen Brienne today? She looks like she got beaten up pretty bad.”
Eden assesses me with that cool gaze she usually uses to try and figure me out. “She wasn’t at breakfast and now that I think about it, she hasn’t been around all morning.”
I shrug. “I tried to find out what happened, but she wouldn’t say. Just thought you should check on her.”
Eden swallows and nods. “Thank you, Mara.” A soft smile flits across her face and she hurries off, leaving me with a strange warm feeling in my chest.
* * *
I branch out and go to dinner at the same time as everyone else that night. What could it hurt? Mother isn’t here to eat with and I’m tired of eating alone. Everyone looks shocked when I step into the dining room and Chelsea hurries to set a place setting next to Uncle Basile. He winks at me when I sit down.
“Wine?” he asks, holding up the bottle.
“I could use all the wine, yes.”
He laughs heartily and some of the tension in the room lessens.
“Any word on where Mother is living?” I probably shouldn’t bring up painful conversations on my first dinner back with my brother, but I’ve never done things in the right order.
“It appears she’s staying with the Den Grautens. At least for the time being.”
“Sarga or Benswei?”
“Benswei.”
My eyes narrow at that answer. Benswei is a good-looking businessman and friend of our father’s. His sister Sarga would’ve made a smarter choice.
“I haven’t seen them in ages. I didn’t know she was still in contact with either of them.”
“Apparently Benswei is helping her in her time of need.” Luka rolls his e
yes and takes a huge bite of bread.
I look around the table and notice Brienne isn’t sitting by her beloved Eden. I leave well enough alone, but I’ll get to the bottom of her. I need something to do while I nurse my broken heart.
We’re eating dessert when the doorbell rings and Uncle Basile goes to answer it. We have people for that, but he’s a nosy bastard.
Alex comes swaggering in and I glare at him.
“I told you not to come.”
He frowns. “That’s no way to say hello.”
I stand up, throwing my napkin on the table. I grab his arm and drag him to my room.
“Hey,” he laughs, “slow down. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You are. I don’t need this right now, Alex.”
“What’s changed your mind?”
“Oh, so much.”
“Fill me in on one thing.”
“I’m not going to try to make Elias jealous anymore.”
His brows lift and he tilts his head in disbelief. “Why not?”
“I’m done trying to convince someone who wants nothing to do with me that he can’t live without me.”
He grins. “Well, even more reason why I should be here…” He moves in closer to me, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me toward him.
“No, no.” I put my hands on his chest and push him away. “Listen to me, Alex. No more games. I’m done.”
He backs away and puts his hand on his chin. “You look different too. Are you sure you’re Mara Catano?”
I roll my eyes and walk to my dresser, pulling out a tank and shorts.
“I’m trying to make sense of a lot of things right now and I can’t do that with you breathing down my neck. I need you to go. Thank you for—”
He stops me with a hard kiss. One that makes me tempted to use him to help me forget, one that almost feels good…I push him away.
“Not happening. Stop making this complicated.”
“We’re the least complicated thing ever,” he says, his eyes crinkling with his smile.
“Because we’re not a we. And we’re certainly not a thing.” I point back and forth between the two of us. “Come on now. This temporary lapse in judgment is not the best look on you. Go home. Thank you for your services.”
I turn around and start walking to the bathroom when he turns me around. The hurt in his eyes is more surprising than the anger in his next words.
“Don’t call me the next time you need to be bailed out.”
I push his hand off of me and nod. “Fair enough. I won’t.”
He shakes his head. “Come on, Mara. We could be great.”
“You’re a good guy underneath all the bed-hopping.” I pat his cheek and he rolls his eyes. “You’d be great with anyone, Alex. It just can’t be me because my heart is already taken.”
I walk to the bathroom and listen at the door until I hear him walk out of my room. Then I crawl into the shower and wash away the drama that has been clinging to my skin. Something inside of me is trying to break out and be free of anything less than simple and true…something I’ve resisted since losing Elias the first time.
And even with a broken heart, I have to admit, it feels pretty good.
For someone who has needed conflict to survive, I don’t even recognize myself.
Chapter Twenty
Elias
I nurse my wounds for the next few days—not from all the cuts and bruises, but the fucking beating my heart took after Mara left. Winthrop tends to me like a loving mother, bringing me soup and steak and desserts that he has no business cooking.
I grimace as I take a bite of the flan he’s left on the tray by my desk. He steps forward, like he’s about to take the plate from me when I put the fork down.
“You’ve been cooking for days, Winthrop. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. She’s just one more woman in the sea of thousands. I’m not the first to suffer this; I won’t be the last. But getting me chubby in the process won’t work.”
He scoffs and starts gathering the tray. “You and I both know she is not a mere woman amongst thousands, she is THE woman amongst all others, and you are not in any danger of becoming chubby.”
He says chubby like it’s a curse word and I laugh at him, despite how foreign it feels after days of drinking and living in my darkness. I got another bill. A bigger bill. One that surpasses all of the others. And one that will bring me down unless I can turn it around at the tables or with my fists at the warehouse.
Winthrop has done his best to keep me mentally afloat.
“Look, I’m grateful for what you’re trying to do here. I really am. But I can’t be saved.” I shrug and he scowls back. “I’m going out tonight. Don’t wait up for me.”
“Don’t come back with more bruises. Take that however you want to.”
I clamp my lips together and bite my tongue, finally nodding. “As you wish.”
“Remember that promise.”
“On second thought, maybe you should go bake something. You’re acting like a meddlesome grandmother.”
Winthrop rolls his eyes heavenward and lifts his chin, walking out with all the dignity he can muster. His annoyance bounces off of him like a kid on a sugar high.
I get ready and head to the warehouse, feeling the stir of adrenaline that gets me going the minute I step inside the building. It’s a high that I crave, being on either side of it, whether I’m making money placing bets on the right fighter or I’m defeating someone in the ring.
I’m barely two feet in the door when I spot Brienne. She’s leaning against the wall and when she sees me, she stands up taller and waits for me to approach. I grin at her; she looks concerned.
“Hey,” I start tentatively, “sorry I’ve been out of commission.”
She takes in the slightly green and blue bruises still on my face and nods. “I heard about the fight.”
“I’m surprised to see you here.” When she turns to fully face me, I see the rest of her face and step closer. “What the hell happened? Who did this?”
She smiles for the first time. “You should see the other girl. She got one punch in and she deserved it. I took her down within two and a half minutes.”
I laugh and her smile widens. “No shit. I knew you’d be good at this.” I point to Tito. “I’m putting my money on you tonight.”
She looks at me closer and shakes her head. “Don’t do that. I don’t want to be the cause of your frustration later if I don’t win.”
“No, don’t think like that. You’re a winner. Period.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “It’s good to see you. Let’s go knock some people out.”
We go to Tito together and he yells when he sees her. “There she is. Fastest fight I’ve seen in a while! You missed it, E.”
“I’m here tonight and I’m putting everything on her.”
Brienne’s eyes widen and she puts her hand on mine when I lay the money on the counter. “You sure you want to do that?”
I put my arm around her and grin at Tito. He takes the money and logs it. “You fighting tonight too?”
“Nah—I think I’ll give it another night or two.”
“Suit yourself.”
Brienne gets antsy the closer it gets to her match and I try to encourage her but then remain quiet when she needs to get into the zone.
When the fight begins, she’s a work of art. Tall, defiant, and strong as hell. She faces her opponent with quiet confidence and she’s fighting a girl I’ve seen win countless times. She doesn’t take her down in two minutes or even five, and I start to worry about how much money I put on her. But it’s like she pulls out a reserve she’s been withholding and takes it to another level when it gets closer to the end. Her punches are swift and deliberate and she brings the girl to her knees before she collapses and goes down. Brienne stands over her, chest rising and falling rapidly, and when she’s declared the winner, the crowd goes wild.
She looks across the room at me and grins, looking exhausted but victo
rious. I get that jolt in the chest that comes when I’ve just won a large sum of money. I pump my fist and yell louder than the rest of them.
I hug her hard when she steps out of the ring and she laughs. I know that feeling coursing through her, the buzz, and part of me thinks I should take Tito up on fighting tonight, but I tamp it down. I don’t really relish some of my cuts getting reopened just yet.
“You were born to do this. How do you feel?” I assess her wounds. She has very few considering who she went up against.
She waves her hands. “This is nothing.”
I grin at her. “You wanna get out of here? Or are you sticking around?”
“I drove, so I’ll probably just head home.”
“Let’s get a drink first.”
She nods and I point toward Tito.
“I’ll just go collect the best business decision I’ve made in a while.”
She rolls her eyes but looks happy as I walk away from her.
Tito counts out my bills and I tuck them inside my jacket. When I turn to go back to Brienne, I see the men who took me out the last time I was here. I wish I knew who the fuck they were. I turn and go the other way, down the back hall, anything to avoid Brienne getting caught in the middle.
I manage to throw out a few punches that catch them off guard, but there are three of them. I’m on the ground within seconds.
I hold my hands out. “What do you want?”
One of them pulls me up by the collar of my jacket and gets in my face. “Pay up.”
My heart is stuttering, but I try to play it cool. “Who sent you?”
The taller guy who looks like a tank bends toward my ear. “Titus says hello,” he whispers.
My blood starts pumping and I look around wildly. He laughs in my ear, and I try to pull away, but they have me cornered.
“You can run, but you can’t hide,” he says louder. “Hand over the money. Titus is done covering for you. You lost his protection when you threw him in jail with his turncoat son.” He spits in my face. “Traitor.” He sticks his hand in my jacket and pulls out the money, tucking it in the waist of his pants. “Next time I see you, I’ll make sure you’re unrecognizable.”
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