He punches me in the gut, cutting off my air supply with the second hit, and I go down. It’s a relief to be knocked out so I don’t have to think about the trouble I’m in.
I come to with Tito and Brienne standing over me.
“Ah, he’s okay,” Tito says, holding a hand out for me to take. “We need to talk about this though, my brother. You can’t be bringing this kind of trouble to my place. That stays outside this property, right? I don’t want to get shut down.”
I stand up and feel lightheaded but don’t let it stop me. “I’ll steer clear until I can get to the bottom of this.”
“No, I don’t want to lose your business.” Tito laughs, pounding me on the back. “Just tell me who’s after you and we’ll get security on it.”
We go to the video surveillance room and I show him the three men. He winces when he sees them.
“I saw them come in. Oh, they could put the hurt on somebody.” I roll my eyes at him and he hurries to add: “We won’t let them back in. Not on my time.”
Brienne has been quiet through all of this, checking to make sure I’m okay, but listening to my conversation with Tito. When he walks away, she puts her hand on my arm.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and squeeze before lying through my teeth. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“I am worried. I have a bad feeling.”
“What? No.” I try to play it off, but I don’t sound convincing even to myself. “You know what? I have a few people who aren’t happy with me right now, but it’s nothing to concern yourself with.”
“Did they take your money?”
I sigh. “Yeah, they fucking did. Now…how about that drink?”
She lets out a long exhale and still looks at me with concern. I shake my head.
“I have one old man at home who worries enough about me for the whole world, don’t you take it on. I’m fine. I’ll be much better when I have whiskey burning through my chest.”
She loops her arm through mine and we make our way back through the crowd and to the exit. I’m scanning faces as I go, looking for the men who stand above everyone else, but they seem to be gone. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t come here. I guess I’ll have to go back to the tables more often…it’s just not as much fun as this.
“Meet me at Zeigler’s?”
“Sure.”
The place is just around the corner and I’m assessing the parking lot as soon as I pull up. Fool me twice…I’m an idiot. It’s all clear and I manage to get to Brienne’s car door before she opens it. She smiles up at me through the window and I open her door with an exaggerated flourish.
“Miss?” I hold out my hand and she takes it, smiling up at me.
I wish I didn’t think of Mara in that moment, but I do. I shove it down and we walk briskly inside. The sooner I get to the whiskey, the better.
Dear Elias,
This is the best summer of my life. I know I say it every day when we’re together (and in these letters, but how would you know that?)—but THIS REALLY IS THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE. You laugh like I can’t possibly mean it, but I DO. (Hint, hint)
I waited eight years for you to kiss me again. You kept me waiting eight years (!) and I was starting to think you were never going to do it. The bikinis worked their magic. Had I known that’s what it took, I would’ve done that the minute I got boobs! Okay, you probably really won’t be seeing this letter now, but anyway…
If I told you how many times I’ve nearly leaned over and kissed you myself, you wouldn’t believe me, but now that we’re together, it’s like we’ve always been together and yet, I still get as many butterflies as I did the first day you kissed me by the water. I love you, Elias. Being your girlfriend is even better than being your best friend. I really should give you these letters now, so you can see how long I’ve loved you this way.
I’ll give them to you when you get back from your trip. I would’ve given them to you before, but I knew you wouldn’t have room to hide all of them from your parents. I hope you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you. It’s been so long since we’ve gone two weeks without seeing one another, I’m not sure what I’ll do, but I’m counting down the minutes until you’re back.
I want you to be my first, my only, my always. That’s what I’m going to tell you the minute we’re alone again under the stars. When you lay on top of me, I think I’m going to lose my mind. I’m ready and I know you are too.
Hurry back.
All my heart,
Mara
Chapter Twenty-One
Mara
The decision to go out this late at night probably wasn’t the best idea, but I had to get out of the house. I’ve been moping in those dark halls for days and it was beginning to feel like the walls were closing in on me. It’s obvious I’m brokenhearted because I leave the house in things I normally wouldn’t be caught dead in: jeans, a T-shirt, and a hat. Teresa, our family designer, would be mortified. Eden is her new favorite anyway, but no one can deny my gift for fashion. I didn’t even know I had these jeans but must have bought them at another low point with Elias. The fact that he’s also breaking my fashion sense is not something I take lightly, but in my whole quest for simple, this seems…simple.
My mood is so bleak I deserve a flavorless drink; the lime on the rim is a luxury. I’ve had one vodka soda when they walk in. It’s like a fresh razor blade scraping off a new scab. I shiver with the pain and anger skids through my body at lightning speed. I lift my finger for another drink and the waitress brings it to my table within minutes.
Brienne looks like she’s been working out…like just now. She’s sweaty, but somehow it doesn’t look as bad as it should on her. And Elias doesn’t seem to mind. He’s smiling and hightailing it to the bar like a man on a mission. They could’ve been sweating together in his bed for all I know.
They probably were. Do I care? With everything in me. But I know if they were to look over here and see me staring, they’d see an expressionless face. I’ve had years of practice. I tilt the glass to my lips and let the ice cool me down; the fire building within me is threatening to undo all the zen I’ve been working on. Tired of drama? I am so ready for drama in this moment I can already see the humiliation on both of their faces when I cut them to the quick.
I sit and watch, a snake camouflaged in the brush. I might be a princess, but the jeans and T-shirt act as some sort of disguise; not a single person has approached. Unheard of at Ziegler’s. I note that the jeans and hat will be coming out again when I need anonymity.
They sit at a table across the room and the waitress coyly tilts her head and laughs at something Elias says. He looks at Brienne and they share a laugh.
Why isn’t he bleeding right now?
Why isn’t his soul lying in ruins like mine?
I sip, sip, drain the glass and when my girl sees me set the glass down, she’s ready with another. Looks like I’m going all in tonight. The waters get murky when Elias makes eye contact with me across the room. I know the second he does. The smile drops off his face and his shoulders stiffen into two sharp blades, trying to fight me even from this distance. I raise my glass to him and see him swallow. He doesn’t have a glass to lift yet and I think, The joke’s on you.
I might be a little drunk already. Not wobbly drunk or messy drunk, but enough that I want to cackle when I see how nervous he looks. Good. Brienne hasn’t noticed me yet and I hope she doesn’t until I’m ready. I lower my eyes, Elias still staring, and wait. Like the snake.
When I look again, Brienne is talking animatedly and Elias is attentively listening. He’s not looking at me anymore and it makes my skin itch. I drain the drink and stand up. Still not wobbly. Good. The waitress lifts her brow at me in question and I nod and meet her halfway this time. She has the drink on the bar and I snag it on the way to my mission.
I walk to their table and stand there for a few seconds before either of them rea
lize I’m there. Brienne is laughing and saying, “It was so fast—I didn’t see it coming!”
That’s my cue. I couldn’t have planned it any better.
“I did. Twice in one day.” I point my thumb toward Elias and take sick satisfaction in the fact that his face drains of color. They both look up at me in shock, and Elias, with no small portion of fear. “This guy. He came so hard, he promised I would be feeling it for days. Turns out, he’s not that powerful.” I wink. “Today, it’s like you were never there.”
Elias chokes and covers his mouth; Brienne’s doe eyes search his face to see if I’m telling the truth.
That’s me, Little Miss Honest. I lift my glass and salute. “Cheers!”
I strut away, feeling the effects of this last drink more than I thought and doing my best to stay upright all the way out the door. I message my driver and he pulls around. I fall into the back seat and lean my head back.
That was fun. I thought I’d feel better after that, but…it’s a momentary lift before another downward spiral.
There’s a tap on the window and I jump. Elias is standing there, hands on his hips. He’s angry. Good.
I wave and he motions for me to lower the glass.
“Please drive, Kalvin.”
“He needs to step away before I can move.”
I sigh and wave for Elias to move back. He just leans in closer and taps the glass again.
“Go away,” I yell.
“Is this really how you want to play this?”
“Yes. I think so. Now step back before I have Kalvin run you over.”
Elias looks at the driver and Brienne steps outside and says something to him. He turns back and whatever she says, he listens to. He steps back and walks toward her.
I wish I’d lowered the window.
* * *
The hangover is slight the next morning. I sit up with surprise that I only have a faint headache and after I have my shower and walk to the dining room, I think I’m going to be okay. I haven’t let myself think too hard about last night. I fell into bed and passed out, and I’ve barely thought about Elias this morning.
I’ve only been awake for forty minutes, but it’s still a good start.
However, I’m faced with Brienne before I’ve even reached for my coffee when she sits down across from me. I have only barely let my eyes skirt over her face with disinterest when Elias walks in.
I want to choke him for looking so good this early in the morning.
And I’d like to murder him for being here for breakfast. Then it hits me. Question after question.
Is he with her?
Did he spend the night?
Is he sleeping with her?
He pauses briefly when he sees me sitting there and fills his plate with food. I shovel eggs into my mouth and am relieved when Luka walks in. The room is tense, even for me.
“Morning!” Luka is chipper this morning. He must have had a good night.
I withhold a groan when Eden walks in, looking just as lovestruck. They really are nauseating.
“The gang’s all here,” Luka says, smiling at me from his end of the table.
I smile back weakly.
“Some of us in better shape than others,” Elias says, looking at me over his coffee cup as he lifts it to his lips.
I let my gaze burn into his with intensity until he looks away. “I’m feeling great this morning,” I add under my breath.
“Doubtful.” He coughs into his hand.
And then I go and open my stupid mouth. “Alex will be here shortly and all will be right with the world.” I smile sweetly and my heart pounds hard when Elias’s smile falters. Good.
But then I think of Alex’s frustration with me when I called him off and don’t know what he’ll think of me asking for another favor after clearly saying he wouldn’t bail me out again. Maybe I can just act like he’s here…
So much for my foray into purity. That was short-lived.
“Haven’t seen as much of him lately,” Luka says.
“Oh, he’s been around.” I smirk and let the insinuation in my voice speak for itself.
“He sure has.” Elias finally finds his voice. “It’s funny. I saw a photograph of him with one of the Tornini twins just last night.”
I nod like it’s to be expected. “Yes, they’re good friends. She’s working on something for us.”
Elias’s snort makes it very clear he doesn’t buy a word I’m saying and I don’t blame him. It’s like my brain is running ten steps behind my words.
“Have you spoken with Nadia recently?” Luka asks quietly.
I wish he wouldn’t ask me this in front of everyone and I set my fork down.
“I’m not ready to face her just yet,” I admit.
“She’s been a good friend to you, Mara. You should give her a chance. Now that you are accepting what Father did…at least talk to her.”
I look at Eden to see if she’s bothered by the mention of Nadia, but she doesn’t seem fazed. Hmm. And I don’t feel the sudden need to stir it up for her. Too much of my own shit to stir up. Or it’s my slow brain’s fault again.
I reluctantly stand, wanting to deal with all of the conflicting thoughts in private. “I better finish getting ready.”
“For Alex?” Elias taunts.
I grin a big toothy smile. “Exactly. He deserves to see me at my best.”
“And how would that be?”
“Naked and perfectly smooth.”
His Adam’s apple bobs before his mouth drops open and he stares at me with a combination of horror and lust.
Good.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mara
I pace my bedroom, debating whether I really should call Alex back and beg him to come help me out again…or to handle this on my own. Around lunchtime, my stomach is beginning to rumble and I still haven’t figured it out. I decide to text him to determine where he really stands.
Are you mad at me?
The dots start moving as he texts right back. That’s encouraging.
Alex: You know I can’t stay mad at you for long.
So no, then?
The dots appear then disappear and then appear again. Finally:
Alex: No.
I’m glad. I’m thinking maybe I was hasty in ending this farce.
Alex: Oh really. Tell me more.
Well, my motives are different than they were, but I could still use your help.
Alex: Are we friends with benefits again?
I stop and think about that for a minute. If Elias is going to flaunt his relationship with Brienne in front of me, I shouldn’t be going without either. He barely even waited to crawl into bed with her. I’m almost sure of it.
No.
Alex: How about you give it some thought.
I can do that. We can discuss it more.
Alex: I’ll be there tonight. ;)
Hold up. I said DISCUSS, as in, we can talk about it further.
Alex: Right. Well, we can DISCUSS tonight, when I’m there.
I roll my eyes but don’t respond. Luka’s comments about Nadia nag at me and I wonder if I should reach out to her soon. She hasn’t bothered to call me; maybe our relationship is too far gone. It hasn’t been that long ago that we did everything together. Yuman isn’t that far away and with their jet, they were here more often than not. I miss her. I’m still upset that she didn’t tell me what was going on, that she was working to bring my father down all that time with Luka while I thought they were back together. We spent most of our time talking about how she’d one day be my sister and now I hear she’s dating some guy who is neither wealthy nor a royal.
Maybe it is possible to change.
I guess I’d have to see it to believe it with her.
That evening, I attend a charity dinner and am happy that I don’t have to sit at a table with Elias and Brienne this time. I wonder what they’re doing tonight. If he’s taken her to his bedroom and laid her on his bed, staring down at her lik
e she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. I wonder if he’s fucked her in my home, close to my bedroom, practically under my nose…maybe not just now but all along.
The man across the table clears his throat and says something to me and I have to ask him to repeat it. It’s hard to snap out of the hole I’m burying myself in. I stay as long as duty requires and then I walk to the car where Kalvin is waiting.
A figure walks toward me in the shadows as I open the car door, but the voice makes me pause.
“How are you, Mara?”
My mother walks into the light of the streetlamp and I see the shadows under her eyes. She looks tired but steely…determined.
“Hello, Mother. I’m fine.”
“I’m fine too, in case you wanted to know.” Her laugh is bitter and I shift my clutch to my other hand, hoping she’ll say whatever she came to say and let me go.
“Your father sent you a message.”
I move closer to her despite myself. After all this time, my father hasn’t had anything to say to me. Not when I used to visit or through my mother. He didn’t want me to visit any longer and told me so.
She touches my arm and I soften. If we had the kind of relationship where we hugged or comforted one another, I would be seeking that now. We don’t, and I’m still seeking it from her. I look at her with new eyes, having pity on her instead of anger. It’s crazy how much I seek her approval when I should know by now that I’ll never get it.
“He wanted me to let you know that he’s been going light on Elias. For years, he’s let his debts go uncollected. He’s paid some of them, he’s extended some of the payments…to teach him to be more responsible…but what Elias has gone through recently is nothing compared to the fury your father will unleash if he doesn’t pay up and soon.”
“Pay up? What does he owe? What is he going through?”
Her teeth flash and I shiver. She looks like a wolf in this light.
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