True Sacrifice

by Amanda Mackey

  “Everything appears fine. I’m sure it’s just a virus. We’ll keep him here a little longer until his fever comes down. Kids often get a rash with a viral infection so we need to make sure he gets plenty of fluids and rest to help fight it.” I smiled. I’d pressed down on the rash earlier, making sure it paled upon depression, which it had, or I may have ordered more tests to discount meningitis. I’d witnessed rashes associated with meningitis and this one differed. It was blotchy and only appeared on his front torso. More like a heat rash. The boy appeared coherent. I wasn’t ready to put him through the trauma of a spinal tap.

  Both parents appeared pleased with the results, nodding at my diagnosis.

  Leaving them with the promise of my return shortly, I redrew the curtain, almost bumping into Char, who hurried down the central aisle.

  “Wow, girl. Slow down.” I steadied us both as we collided.

  “Hey! Sorry. Got a head trauma victim just brought in. You free?”

  Checking my watch, I nodded. “I’ve got a few minutes spare.”

  We both headed to the ambulance entrance. I was grateful to be distracted enough to let Harley out of my thoughts for a while.

  ***

  When my shift ended, I clocked out and wandered around my ward, wondering if Harley had ended up waiting or got tired and left.

  I did a quick walk around, finding him in a waiting area off to the side of the hallway leading to the short stay ward. He stood as soon as he saw me. I’d changed out of my scrubs into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved blue shirt with my Converse sneakers.

  He looked me over slowly, eliciting a series of shockwaves in his aftermath, but I tried not to show it.

  “You ready?” he asked in a dry voice.

  “Yep. I’ll follow you.”

  Shaking his head, he moved in closer. “I’ll bring you back to pick up your car. I want to take you for a ride.”

  “Oh. Okay. Let’s go then.”

  Not sure where he wanted to take me, I walked alongside him, trying not to sneak peeks every few seconds. His presence disarmed me. I felt him all the way to my toes, and I wasn’t sure how I would get through the next couple of hours.

  We left through the main entrance, moving across the parking lot. The sun still shone at 6 p.m., a gentle breeze wafting over us. We hadn’t uttered a word, and I found it a little disconcerting, considering we’d never had an issue with conversation before.

  After a couple of minutes, Harley stopped before a 1969 Chev Camaro. I didn’t consider myself a car buff, but I liked a classic. My Mustang proved that. For a moment, I ogled the fine machine, appreciating the gleaming blue paintwork and sleek lines.

  Whistling, I crooned, “Oh my God. She’s gorgeous!” Looking up to Harley with a bright smile, I almost skipped closer. “She yours?”

  “Yup. She is now. My mother gave her to me today. Ah…she belonged to my dad.”

  Knowing his father had passed, I stopped short of the passenger side door, looking over to him. He wore a wistful expression so I kept the mood light, not wanting to bring about any pain.

  “Wow! She’s in fine condition. Not a scratch on her. You sure you should be driving her?”

  “I’m keeping her at Mom’s, but I wanted to take her for a spin.”

  “You’ve seen your mom?” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement.

  “Yeah. I went around today.” He looked away as he spoke.

  “How did she react to everything that’s happened?” I imagined she would be shocked and hurt over Harley’s shooting and his temporary amnesia.

  “Ahh, I didn’t tell her.”

  I spun further to face him. “You didn’t tell your mother you were shot?”

  He looked at me then, his darkened eyes filled with indecision. “I didn’t want to worry her.” His voice had softened. I could see how much he loved his mom.

  “Still, she deserves to know.”

  He stared into me, nodding minutely, his mouth set.

  Eager to get in and see how she rode, I waited for Harley to insert the key to unlock her. No automatic locking on this baby.

  When he brushed against me, a light tremor had me shivering. I should be getting into my own car and going home, not taking a drive in a confined space with a man who had recently tried to break me and now still had the power to turn me into a puddle of desire.

  Waiting on him to move, I quickly climbed in and closed the door, breathing in the ‘olden day’ smell. Everything inside had been restored, from the upholstery to the steering wheel and dashboard. I was impressed.

  Harley moved to the driver’s side and got in and absorbed even more of the space we needed between us. His leather jacket crinkled as he got comfortable and inserted the key into the ignition. I appreciated the low rumble as the engine fired up, excitement bubbling over.

  His face lit with as much amusement as mine, our shared love of cars momentarily bridging the gap that had threatened to tear us apart.

  Turning his head to mine, he smiled. “Hang on, angel.”

  Easing out of the parking lot and onto the street, he hit the gas, propelling us forward. I gripped the seatbelt, enjoying the power the car yielded.

  She was a smooth ride and her engine ticked over without missing a beat. There had been a lot of love poured into her, I could tell. Glancing at Harley, I noticed the half-smile on his face as he maneuvered her in and out of traffic.

  Unaware of where we were headed, it wasn’t until we turned into the familiar apartment complex that I realized he’d driven to his place.

  My nerves ratcheted up a notch at being in his space. It seemed an incredibly personal place to be having ‘the talk,’ but there wasn’t much I could do about it. We were here now. I’d need to suck it up and deal.

  He pulled into a visitor park at the end of his row of apartments. Having only one garage space, I knew his truck would be locked up inside.

  Before I could get out, Harley was around to my side, opening the door for me. Chivalry wasn’t dead after all. Either that or he was pulling out all the stops.

  We still hadn’t spoken much, if at all, and I felt a little lost.

  Following him into the apartment, I let him lead me into the small living room.

  “You want a coffee? Wine? Beer?” He removed his jacket and threw it over the arm of the sofa, gifting me the view of his sculpted arms. Hell, I loved a nice set of arms.

  Needing something to help ease my nerves, I replied, “Wine would be good. Thanks.”

  The apartment smelt of Harley. His aftershave and whatever else made up his unique scent.

  A truck picture, similar to the one he’d given me an orgasm against, hung on the wall opposite. I recalled Trudy walking in on us. Aside from that embarrassing moment, it had been so hot. If she hadn’t arrived, I knew we would have ended up in Harley’s bed. I wouldn’t have stopped him.

  Recalling the sex at my place, I’d never experienced such a heated connection with a man. Perhaps comparing him to Nick wasn’t a great gauge, but I hadn’t been with that many guys beforehand. The way Harley had looked at me with reverence and touched me in equal measure hadn’t been just about sex. It had been way more. At least for me.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” The deep, scratchy voice dragged me out of my daydream.

  He held out a glass of red wine, which I eagerly took. “Thanks.”

  No need to explain where my mind had been.

  Sitting down beside me, he took a sip of the beer he held before placing it on the table. Running a hand over his face and up into his hair, he cleared his throat.

  “I owe you an apology.”

  Knowing he did, I still acted dumb. “Oh?” I held onto the wine glass like a lifeline.

  “I don’t expect you to forgive me for the way I acted. Pushing you away. I was scared. Scared of everything that came crashing back to me like a freight train. Since you met me, I’ve brought nothing but stress and pain into your life. I didn’t want to do that anymore.” He rea
ched for his beer, taking another long pull.

  I didn’t say a word. He needed to purge his feelings.

  Breathing out hard, he continued, finally turning to me, capturing me with his sexy eyes. “I owe you everything. Everything. My life. If not for you when I woke up, and the way you took me into your home, I might not even be sitting here. I treated you like shit and I’m sorry. I didn’t want to push you away, but I didn’t want to keep you close and hurt you, either.”

  His eyes reached into me with their intensity, allowing me to see the truth. His sadness and pain.

  It mirrored my own. My heart bled for him. I hated seeing him carry the burden of war and death. No man should have to.

  In a meek voice, I asked, “What changed?”

  Reaching out tentatively, he cupped my cheek. The warmth from his fingers made me shiver against the coolness of my wineglass. Momentarily closing my eyes, I savored the feel of his touch, not realizing how much I needed it.

  “You. Not having you around. I missed you like crazy. Call me selfish, but I can’t stay away. I don’t want to. The medication has helped. I’m not having nightmares as much and don’t feel the incredible anger I did the last time you saw me. I feel…okay. Angel.”

  His eyes pleaded with me to understand while his thumb brushed backward and forward over my cheek.

  “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please! Do you think you can forgive me? Do I have any chance to make things right?”

  Not wanting to let go of this moment, I studied him some more. The way his lips glistened and his cheeks had hollowed out slightly. The line between his brows, which appeared more pronounced since we’d seen each other. His heavy lashes jutting out from turbulent eyes, which had darkened under my perusal. The air of authority he’d carried in the hospital had waned somewhat, allowing me to see the true man. Declan or Harley? Who was he? I needed to know before stepping forward into the unknown.

  “So, now that you have your full memory back, are you Declan or Harley? What do I call you?”

  I truly didn’t know Declan. I’d only experienced the angry snippets he’d shown me. Harley had been a clean slate.

  “To be honest, I’m hoping you will accept me as Declan. It’s who I am and who I’ve always been. I need to accept that person, flaws and all. I guess I wanted to stay Harley because I associated him with you. He didn’t have horrific memories of war and all the other shit that’s happened in my life, but I can’t run away from it all now. It’s up here.” He tapped his forehead. “The big question is, do you want me the way I am now?”

  He’d always be Harley to me. It’s all I’ve known. Could I accept the rest of him? Flaws and all? As strange as it would be, I needed all of him. Not just pieces. I wanted to know everything.

  Placing my hand over his, which still rested on my cheek, I slowly nodded.

  “Whatever your name is, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s who you are in here.” My fingers pressed against his heart. “The man I first met wasn’t someone different. He simply didn’t have the weight of his memories to deal with. You’ve been Declan all along, you just didn’t know it.”

  He smiled. Truly smiled for the first time, and it lit him from the inside out.

  Gripping the back of my neck, he pulled me in almost touching. God, he smelled good. I truly wanted to stay mad at him, but I just couldn’t. He’d been in a dark place and I could understand him trying to protect me. Perhaps I’d do the same. All that mattered was he felt better and had brought me here to apologize. I’d been miserable without him. If he was prepared to try, then so was I.

  “Do you have any idea how incredible you are?” He groaned.

  “Show me,” I whispered, unable to wait any longer. I mashed my mouth against his, forcing him to open as I delved my tongue inside, tasting him. Tingles shot through me as his tongue played lightly with mine, his shapely lips devouring me, the drought officially over.

  Gripping each side of his head, I held him firm while I took my fill. It only sufficed to mildly allay my need, and he must have felt the same because two big hands came under my armpits, lifting me so that I sat astride his lap. Pressing myself into him, he gripped my denim-clad ass and dragged me harder against his groin. Desperation overtook me. I needed him everywhere. What we had wasn’t enough.

  Tearing my mouth away, I gazed into his heavily dilated eyes. He appeared drunk like me. Drunk on each other. “Take me to bed. Now,” I ordered.

  A lazy grin lifted his cheeks. “You bossing me around?”

  “Yes. Don’t talk. Just do it.”

  Smacking his lips back to mine with a satisfied gleam in his eyes, he stood, taking me with him. I shackled myself to his heavy thighs, letting him carry me to his room. I didn’t take any notice of anything other than his chest rising and falling heavily and the solid beat of the pulse in his neck. Hitting the edge of the bed, he fell and I went with him, landing in a mess of limbs on a pair of black satin sheets. I stared at them only long enough to wonder if he’d put them on the bed, knowing he’d be bringing me here before my head was turned to fuse our mouths together again.

  We both groaned as we writhed on the bed, needing to shed our clothes.

  Gripping his shirt, I broke our contact and fumbled with it beneath me, attempting to pull it up and over his head. Arching his back, I managed to rid him of it in a less than graceful manner, the sight before me, stealing my breath. His broad shoulders appeared more buff, veins running a path down his arms to his hands.

  “Someone’s been working out,” I breathed.

  “Keeps me focused,” he replied. “Do you want me, angel? All of me? No going back. This is it. You’re all in or you’re all out. Good and bad.”

  Not having to second-guess myself, I shot back, “Yes. I’m in. One hundred percent. Now stop talking with that fine mouth and put it to better use,” I teased.

  He chuckled. “Let’s get naked first and I’ll show you just what my mouth can do.”

  Flipping me so I lay beneath him, he took his time removing my clothes, his hands, eyes, and mouth worshipping each inch of skin he bared.

  I’d never felt more wanted. This messed up, desirable man who had sacrificed himself to save me. I’d never forget it and do everything in my power to help him heal.

  When the last shred of clothing was thrown on the floor, our bodies connected like two magnets. I fit into his massive frame perfectly as he wrapped me up in his arms, protectively. His kisses had me high like an addict, an addiction I never wanted to quit.

  His hard mass jerked beneath my pelvis, so I rubbed harder into him, getting the reaction I hoped for. Throwing his head upward for a moment, he brought it back down to face me, eyes like blazing sin, teeth gritted as he hissed in his pleasure.

  Both my hands moved down his body, tracing every dip and valley as they settled on his perfectly round ass.

  “Is this what you want, Mac? Is this what you need?” He flexed beneath my grip, bringing friction just where I needed it.

  Showing him my assent with a simple nod, he lowered his mouth to my aching breasts, nipping and sucking while gently pulling my thighs further apart beneath him.

  I gasped as his teeth grazed my nipple a little too hard but he soothed it with his tongue.

  “Are you clean?” he asked, taking me by surprise.

  “Yes. I haven’t been with many men. You?” I guess we needed to get it out of the way because he’d made no move to reach for a condom. I didn’t want him too. I needed to feel him bare inside me. I took birth control pills every day, so there was no issue of me getting pregnant. Come to think of it, we hadn’t used a condom the first time. A little late for the question now.

  “I get tested regularly in my job, but I’ve always used a rubber.” Licking his already moist lips, he drilled into me with his eyes. “We good to go? You ready?”

  “Just do it,” I practically begged, gripping his butt further, lining him up.

  Witho
ut further ado, he speared into me, a garbled noise escaping from my throat at the sheer relief and ecstasy of him touching me in places long forgotten. Hovering over me on his forearms, he lavished me with a stare so intense and filled with love, I became spellbound.

  He paused, fully seated in me, the only sound our harsh breathing. “Do you see me?” he asked.

  For a moment, I didn’t know what he meant, but as I drowned in the emotions he showed me, having let his wall of hurt disappear so that only the man I’d come to fall for remained, realization dawned.

  “I see you. All of you.”

  Kissing me fiercely, he reared back and powered back into me. Once. Twice. Three times before stopping again.

  “I see you too. My fucking angel.”

  His words sealed every crack that had been widening. Filled every lonely space present for so long. Held me captive as he rolled us to our sides and lifted my leg high up his thigh before his hand softly stroked my neck, shoulder, and then breast.

  His fight for redemption strengthened my resolve to assist him in becoming whole again. Feeling his gentle touch and watching the way he gave me more of his true self, I knew in that sensational moment my heart belonged to him. He’d stolen it without even knowing it.

  “I love you.” Truth be damned. If he didn’t want to hear it, then so be it.

  Lifting his head off the pillow and bringing his face closer to mine, his eyes widened.

  Unable to breathe until he reacted, I waited.

  “What did you say?”

  “I love you. I understand if you—”

  He cut me off with a kiss from heaven. Slow and languid, deepening to the point of almost tipping me over the cliff of pleasure, but not quite. I teetered so close and he hadn’t needed to do much. He hardened inside me further, driving me crazy.

  Sucking on my bottom lip, he brushed his mouth across my cheek, resting it on my ear. “I am so in love with you, angel. You have no idea. From the moment I heard you singing while I remained in a coma, you had me.”

  Elated to hear him admit his feelings, knowing they reciprocated mine, I grinned madly.