Cowboy Samurai X Badass Android

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  Chapter 8: Samurai Superheroes Slash!

  11:00 PM, club Salamander, NYC…

  For their mission, Dr. Valery designed everyone cyborg-themed outfits to wear so that they would easily blend in with the E.T. Tech-lovers crowd at club Salamander. After Jake, Mr. Suit, Galaxy Girl, Red Dragon, Bulldozer and Black Fox were all dressed they waited outside of the mansion for their transportation to arrive. After a few minutes, a high-tech, silver and black, stretch limo that was driven by Zee pulled up right in front of the mansion and everyone quickly got inside. Without speaking, Zee drove the Samurai Superheroes Force to the Discotheque Salamander within minutes using his incredible driving skills.

  During the drive to the club, Jake was feeling a bit hot and bothered since Dr. Valery had insisted on dressing him herself and had groped him unabashedly while doing so. Jake’s face flamed as he remembered how Mr. Suit had walked into his room to find him in a rather embarrassing situation:

  FLASHBACK

  Mr. Suit knocked on the door to Jake’s bedroom only once before he opened the door and stalked inside. He immediately caught sight of a fully dressed Jake laying on the floor with Dr. Valery straddling him and rolled his eyes towards the heavens. “Pervert…we don’t have time for fun and games. We have a mission.” Mr. Suit reminded Jake coolly.

  Jake was flushed and teary-eyed when Mr. Suit found him. He knew he probably looked incredibly pathetic but he didn’t care. Screw his pride. He needed help. “Mr. Suit! Please get her off of me! Help me!” Jake begged in a whiny tone.

  “Pathetic coward…” Mr. Suit effortlessly grabbed Dr. Valery by the back of her white doctor dress and sent her flying off of Jake. Jake would have been worried for Dr. Valery’s safety if she hadn’t proven to be so uncannily tough already.

  Mr. Suit looked over Jake’s outfit as the cowboy stood up and dusted himself off while giving Mr. Suit a grateful look. “Thanks dude…” Jake was wearing a pair of uncomfortably tight, black leather pants, a gold, shimmery, silk shirt that was unbuttoned half way down his chest, a pair of shiny Ferragamos, and a black cowboy hat. “You look like a gay cowboy.” Mr. Suit sneered.

  “Oi! Hey!” Jake argued as he took in what Mr. Suit was wearing. Instead of the superhero’s usual silver and black smart-suit he was wearing a modern, black and neon green Matrix-style suit. Instead of having stripes like a pinstripe suit would have the suit had moving columns of green 0s and 1s running down the nanomachine fabric. “Hey, that’s not fair! You got a cool outfit…!” Jake pouted. Instead of his usual white highlights Jake noticed that Mr. Suit’s hair now had green highlights. He was also wearing a pair of flashy silver cufflinks.

  Mr. Suit smirked. “That’s because I’m too sexy for this suit, dumbass.”

  Jake ignored the comment with a roll of his eyes. More importantly, I wonder what the ladies will be wearing? Jake thought enthusiastically to himself as his eyes turned into two pink hearts.

  “Come on, slowpoke…” Mr. Suit raised his leg before kicking Jake right in the ass to get him moving forward. “Let’s get going.” They met the others outside of the mansion waiting for the transportation that Dr. Valery mysteriously said she was going to provide them with. This gave Jake a few minutes to check out the females of the Samurai Superheroes Force.

  “Ooo~” Jake exclaimed as he caught sight of what Galaxy Girl and Black Fox were wearing. “You girls look HOT!” Jake began to drool.

  Galaxy Girl was wearing a black tube dress that had the pattern of silver stars on it. However, it was no ordinary material but holo-material, and the stars on her dress literally sparkled making her dress truly resemble the night’s sky. Her silky platinum blonde hair was loose around her shoulders and she had a large, silver star-shaped hairclip in her hair. She also had on a pair of star-shaped earrings and a matching choker. She was wearing a pair of silver gloves and a pair of matching platform knee boots. Galaxy Girl ignored Jake’s drooling as she continued to listen to music on her iPod and filed her nails in an indifferent manner. She wished she were anywhere but there at that moment. The last thing she wanted was to go on any kind of ‘mission’. A few hologram shooting stars were shooting around Galaxy Girl giving her a sort of artificial aura. Galaxy Girl just gave Jake a not too subtle glare and he noticed her pretty silver eye shadow.

  Too cute! Jake thought as he looked Galaxy Girl over.

  Black Fox was wearing a high-necked, floor length, Chinese-styled dress with slits going up the sides to her mid thigh. The material was black holo-material and the image of a golden dragon chasing and fighting with a silver tiger could be seen on her dress. Jake was mesmerized as he watched the two creatures curling and twisting their way around Black Fox’s curves and felt instantly jealous. Black Fox had her hair up in a sophisticated ponytail and was also wearing a pair of futuristic, gold gloves. She had a pair of gold Christian Louboutin shoes that had bright red soles on her feet that had heels so high Jake was sure Black Fox would be unable to walk in them. Crouching tigress, has definitely found her hidden dragon. Jake thought with a dopey grin on his face. Very sexy. Jake stared into Black Fox’s dark eyes and noticed her shimmering, gold eye shadow.

  Mr. Suit instantly grew irritated by the perverted leer that Jake was giving the two girls and hit Jake over the back of his head with the hilt of Ōkami. “Behave you cretin! That is no way to address the ladies!”

  Jake rubbed the back of his head and pouted. “Owww…what’d I do? I just tried to say that the girls look nice. Geez. Who shoved that stick up your ass, asshole?”

  Mr. Suit’s eye twitched. “What was that you foul-mouthed, idiot?!”

  Black Fox demurely took Jake’s statement as a compliment. “Thank you, Jake-kun. You look really nice as well.” She complimented in her usual sophisticated manner.

  “Oh? Really? Thanks.” Jake blushed and scratched the side of his face with his finger in a bashful gesture.

  Galaxy Girl noticed the exchange and instantly grew irritated. Why had Black Fox complimented Jake? She didn’t even like that pervy cowboy! Galaxy Girl had also noticed that Jake was looking incredibly hot that night but chose not to say anything. After all it probably would have gone right to that idiot’s head. Galaxy Girl was inwardly seething when Black Fox gave her a knowing look. Galaxy Girl’s eyes widened when she realized she had played right into Black Fox’s hands. That sly fox! Well, two can play at this game.

  Galaxy Girl sauntered up to Jake and curled her arm around his. “I agree, Black Fox. Jake does look incredibly handsome tonight. He almost looks good enough to be my escort. I’m sure it would be his honor.”

  Jake stiffened up at Galaxy Girl’s touch and tried hard not to move. He knew he’d have to shove her off of him eventually since he didn’t want to accidentally hurt her but decided if he was very careful and didn’t move a muscle he could enjoy the feeling of Galaxy Girl’s arm linked with his own for a little while longer. Jake turned to just grin goofily at Galaxy Girl without saying anything and as usual when Jake kept his mouth shut Galaxy Girl was surprised that the butterflies in her stomach began to flutter again.

  Red Dragon noticed that the cowboy samurai and Galaxy Girl were totally having a romantic moment and gnashed his teeth from the inside of his robot costume. Damn that Dr. Valery! Red Dragon inwardly swore. Dr. Valery had designed him a ridiculous looking robot costume that made him look like an outdated robot. The body was square shaped and the head was like having a large box on his head. Worst of all was that Dr. Valery had programmed the holographic face of the robot to have this stupid smile plastered there at all times. Smiling was the last thing Red Dragon felt like doing as he watched Jake and Galaxy Girl interact…She had never once looked at him the way she was looking at that human Jake Lonestar now. If only Red Dragon didn’t need to hide his true appearance from the world he wouldn’t have had to wear this pathetic costume.

  Jake felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle in warning. Jake looked around to see where this feeling of
killing intent was coming from when his eyes landed on the funny looking robot with this huge smile on its face. Jake scratched his head since a smiling robot with such a hateful aura made no sense. Jake shuddered, he didn’t know why but that robot was giving him the creeps. “Hey, why are we bringing a robot with us?” Jake asked.

  Mr. Suit snorted as he tried to hold back a laugh while Bulldozer just burst out laughing loudly in response.

  Jake gave the two a confused look, quirking his head at the two superheroes, and blinked, “What?”

  “That’s not a robot. That’s Red Dragon in disguise.” Black Fox informed Jake simply, in her serene, mature manner.

  “Oh…Ohhhhh, sorry man. But I’m not the one who chose you such a LAMEASS costume.” Jake shrugged and put his hands out in a helpless gesture.

  “Grrrr….you picking a fight, gay cowboy? I’ll kill you!” Red Dragon took out his sword and lunged at Jake.

  “EPP!” Jake cried out as he ducked and Red Dragon’s sword sailed over his head, taking a chunk out of his cowboy hat. “Oi! That was dangerous. You could have decapitated me!” Jake gave Red Dragon an aghast look.

  Red Dragon smiled inside of the square robot head. “That was the general idea, idiot. I want you dead, pathetic human!” Red Dragon took a stance and attacked Jake again.

  “Epp! Mommy! I’m too young and handsome to dieeee~!” Jake moaned as he dodged and evaded Red Dragon’s attacks.

  “Coward,” Mr. Suit sneered as he watched Jake and Red Dragon fight.

  Bulldozer’s laughter increased in volume at Jake’s antics. “Man, he’s a funny guy!” Mr. Suit’s attention was drawn to Bulldozer and he was surprised to see that the man was actually wearing a shirt for once, though the orange, black and silver shirt was left unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up to make sure his cybernetic arms were visible. He was wearing a pair of orange leather pants and a pair of black and silver combat boots. Bulldozer’s red bull tattoo was visible on his chest, but Mr. Suit noted that Bulldozer must have been wearing a holo-accessory since the bull now seemed alive and was pawing the ground with its hoof, and snorting as it glared at anyone who so much as looked in Bulldozer’s direction.

  Black Fox sighed softly. “We don’t have time for this nonsense.” She took out her living-metal katana and held it before her. “Tamamo-no-mae Evolution One!” Her sword transformed into the nine-bladed whip-sword. She then swung her sword at Red Dragon and Jake’s feet successfully tripping them both up. They both landed face first on the ground with a splat.

  “Dammit…!” Red Dragon swore. “Meddling bitch…!”

  “Owie…my bruises have bruises now…I don’t like pain…” Jake moaned before he suddenly realized something that took his mind off the pain. “Hey, wait a second, if Galaxy Girl is Red Dragon’s date and Black Fox is Bulldozer’s date then who’s my date?”

  “Who do you think, fag? Mr. Suit is your date.” Red Dragon teased in a snarky manner.

  Jake’s eyes widened in horror since he was gullible enough to believe Red Dragon’s lie. “Is that true?!” He spun around to gape at Mr. Suit in shock. “Are we…” Jake swallowed. “Going to have to pretend to be a couple?!”

  Mr. Suit’s expression soon mirrored Jake’s horrified one. “What? Hell no! Red Dragon’s just messing with you, idiot. We’re both going to the club as two straight, single guys on the prowl for lovely ladies - got it?” Mr. Suit grabbed Jake by his shirt collar and glared fiercely into his eyes.

  Jake just glared back. He wondered how many times a day Mr. Suit actually called him an idiot and frowned. “On the prowl? That doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, Mr. Narcissistic Prince.”

  Galaxy Girl put her hands on her hips and pouted since the guys were now totally ignoring her and that just wasn’t acceptable.

  An amused smirk formed on Black Fox’s face. “Well, it looks like you two are getting along quite well now.”

  Mr. Suit seemed to realize his mistake and immediately shoved Jake away from him so that he went flying. “No, we’re not! I hate that guy!”

  “Mommy!” Jake cried as he flew backwards and landed on his butt. Jake glared up at Mr. Suit. “You are such a dick.”

  “Bite me.” Mr. Suit snarled back.

  Jake was just about to respond when Zee pulled up in the stretch limo. With Zee’s crazy driving, it only took a few minutes for the Samurai Superheroes to arrive at the futuristic, high-tech, virtual reality discotheque Salamander.

  END OF FLASHBACK

  Jake was feeling pretty excited since he’d never been to a virtual reality club before but also a bit wary since the place was undoubtedly filled with high-tech gadgets and electronic appliances that with one mere touch Jake could end up making explode or changing in strange ways. Jake made sure to shove his hands in his pockets to reduce the risk of touching anything. Zee pulled up right in front of the club and Jake got out with the others. There was an enormous line to get into the club but the Samurai Superheroes just bypassed the line and headed directly to the entrance with Jake jogging quickly behind them to catch up. The club’s building was solid black and was the perfect backdrop for the holograms that were crawling up the club’s surface: pink salamanders, bright orange frogs, blue lizards.

  Directly above the main entrance door was a large sign that flashed in neon green letters: Salamander. Jake was so distracted by the flashy exterior that he missed the others going inside. He quickly rushed to follow them but the bouncer put one hand on Jake’s chest to stop him. Jake thought that he was going to be told to make the line when the bouncer - a buff guy dressed all in black - gave Jake a lopsided smile. “Hey, don’t forget your VR 3D glasses, kid. Have a good time.” The bouncer shoved a pair of strange looking sunglasses into Jake’s hands. The glasses looked like a pair of black Oakleys with green-tinted lenses.

  Jake fumbled with the glasses as he was shoved unceremoniously into the club. Jake stumbled forward and looked up. Jake’s jaw dropped. The club Salamander was amazing. Jake had never seen anything like it. It was enormous. There was a large dance floor that had a green and black checker pattern and already the dance floor was filled with people: cyborgs, robots, fembots, and androids. The robots and fembots were easy to differentiate from the humans because of their metal bodies and the single radio antenna on the very tops of their heads. In metal cages that were hanging from the ceiling Jake saw fembots and androids dancing suggestively. The club had two bars on either side of the room and Jake could see that there was a second floor that might be a VIP section. There was a runway stage set up in the center of the club that had several poles on it but the stage was currently empty. Towards the back of the club Jake spotted a robotic DJ that had eight metal arms and that had eight turntables in front of him that he was using to beatmatch, phrase, scratch, and slip-cue the music that was playing. He also used other electronic equipment to add synthesized sounds to the music.

  “Sweet.” Jake murmured.

  Next, Jake discovered why the club Salamander was called a virtual reality club. Things that shouldn’t exist…couldn’t exist…were floating through the air, crawling up the walls and dancing around the poles. Blue butterflies flew through the air, pink salamanders crawled up the walls, and a golden monkey was pole dancing. Jake wondered for a moment if he had smoked some marijuana before coming and shook his head at the thought. Jake decided to put the special glasses the bouncer had given him on and as soon as he did the holograms became even more real and 3D. It was as if the holograms were alive. A yellow unicorn galloped across the dance floor and it looked so real that Jake dove out of the way.

  A deep chuckle was heard as Mr. Suit began to laugh at Jake’s plight. “Are you really that much of an idiot? That unicorn is just a hologram.”

  Jake lowered his head to hide his blush as he picked himself up off the dance floor. “Stop calling me an idiot, jerk.”

  A flock of glittering golden butterflies flew across the dance floor and the girls all ‘Ooed’ and
‘Ahed’ appreciatively.

  “Cool.” Jake murmured before catching sight of a particularly cute looking fembot that had impressive cone-shaped breasts and smirked. “Hey Red Dragon, I think I found the perfect girlfriend for you…” Jake joked as he pointed at the pole dancing fembot.

  Red Dragon followed the direction that Jake’s finger was pointing towards and caught sight of the fembot who was gyrating her hips in a very suggestive way. “Do you have a death wish, pervy idiot cowboy?” Red Dragon clunked towards him sounding like he had a pair of frying pans strapped to his feet. But this funny sound made Red Dragon no less threatening to Jake.

  “Epp!” Jake squeaked and hid behind Mr. Suit. “Save me, Darling~!”

  Mr. Suit’s eyes widened at the endearment as he shoved Jake off of himself harshly, “Be serious! We don’t have time for this tomfoolery. We have to find the Tech Thief.” Mr. Suit’s sharp eyes were already scanning the dancing crowd. “Shit. It’s too crowded in here.”

  Galaxy Girl pointed to the second level of the club. “Think we can charm our way into the VIP section?”

  Mr. Suit smirked. “Charm won’t be necessary, my dear. I believe you’re all forgetting just who you’re here with.” Mr. Suit pushed his glasses up his nose. “On the Internet I’m known as: Cufflink. I’m a member of Salamander’s VIP list since I’m an Alpha Class Hacker…anyways, come on, follow me.” Mr. Suit headed for the stairs, which led to the VIP section with purposeful strides.

  “Isn’t my honey~ the greatest.” Jake gushed comically as he tried to sound gay.

  “Shut your trap or I’ll shut it for you, pervy cowboy.” Mr. Suit warned over his shoulder.

  Jake gulped. “Ooo~ scary.” Damn, it’s a shame I didn’t just ask Ultraviolet to come with me and be my date…even though she’s actually an android…she’s still cute. Jake sighed. I wonder how she felt about being left behind. What am I saying? She’s an android. She doesn’t feel anything.

  Mr. Suit was already heading up the stairs and Galaxy Girl quickly followed only to end up tripping in her incredibly high platform boots. “Ahhh~!” Galaxy Girl screeched since she feared landing on her face. Luckily, Jake had decided to walk behind Galaxy Girl so that he could try and look up her tube dress as she climbed her way up the stairs, and was there to instantly catch her before she fell using his superhuman reflexes.

  “You saved…” Galaxy Girl looked up at Jake in surprise, who had Galaxy Girl’s hand in his and one arm wrapped around her slim waist. “My new nose job. Thank you Jake. That was a close one.”

  “No prob.” Jake managed to croak out and froze. He tried not to harm Galaxy Girl in any way as he just cradled her in his arms and gazed down at her. She really was beautiful. A dazed look came to Jake’s face as he began to zone out. If I had a time freezer device I would freeze this moment for all eternity.

  Mr. Suit turned around to see what the commotion was and saw Jake with Galaxy Girl in his arms and neither of them were moving. A scowl instantly formed on Mr. Suit’s face as he wondered why Jake hadn’t let go of Galaxy Girl yet. Equally pissed off by this turn of events was Red Dragon, who had been walking up the stairs just behind Jake, and now had a front row seat to Jake and Galaxy Girl’s current predicament. Jake had frozen up completely not knowing what to do.

  Mr. Suit decided to lend Jake a helping hand. “Jake! Unhand Galaxy Girl at once, you perverted cowboy! Your disgusting touch will only sully her purity!”

  At Mr. Suit’s harsh words Jake seemed to snap out of his stupor and realized how he was clutching Galaxy’s Girl’s hand and how his arm was wrapped rather tightly around her slim waist. Jake immediately sprang back away from Galaxy Girl as if her body had burned him. “AH!” He stumbled down a few steps away from Galaxy Girl in an almost fearful manner that made Mr. Suit curious about his strange reaction.

  Jake gave Galaxy Girl a worried look, “Are you alright Galaxy Girl? I…” Jake swallowed. “Didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  Galaxy Girl gave Jake a confused look and felt slightly hurt that Jake had sprung away from her as if she had the plague or something. No guy had ever reacted to her that way before. Was what he was saying now just some sort of excuse for his behavior? Did she somehow disgust him? What if she forgot to put on deodorant?! Galaxy Girl immediately began to freak out inwardly and wondered when she could sneak to the bathroom to check if she smelled. “Are you retarded? There’s no way you could hurt me.” Galaxy Girl absentmindedly replied, as she distractedly looked around for the bathroom.

  Jake opened his mouth to explain his actions further but Red Dragon, who roughly shoved Jake out of the way, so that he could look Galaxy Girl over, interrupted him. “You’re not hurt are you, you stupid woman? What were you doing almost tripping on mere stairs?”

  Galaxy Girl raised an eyebrow at the smiley-faced robot. “What? Are you actually concerned about me, Red Dragon? That’s so not like you.”

  “Keh, I’m not concerned. I’m just…worried for your fans. What if you smashed your face in like a pancake? I’m sure your fans would have to find someone else to worship then. You should really be more careful walking around in those ridiculous shoes. Why can’t you women just wear normal shoes? It’s unfathomable, the shoe fashion of these human women…” The robot shook his head from side to side.

  “I believe Galaxy Girl has made it abundantly clear that to her fashion is more important than safety.” Black Fox drawled.

  Galaxy Girl glared down at Black Fox. “Hmph! And well, what about you then? Those Christian Louboutins are at least five inches high! That can’t be too safe!”

  “Well, I’m not as clumsy as some people…” Black Fox said.

  “Why you, poser…!” Galaxy Girl accused. “I know that you really don’t like fashion even though you claim you do, Black Fox. You would never be able to understand the need to keep up an image. I’m a public figure. I have fans. I have to look my best at all times for the paparazzi. If they catch me with even one hair out of place it could be the end of my career!”

  “A hair out of place would be better than a smashed-in face.” Red Dragon decided to point out.

  Jake found himself nodding but quickly stopped when Galaxy Girl sent a heated gaze his way. A heated gaze that Bulldozer chose to misinterpret.

  “Jake is sure the lady’s man.” Bulldozer chuckled. “He’s even smoother than Mr. Suit. I bet Galaxy Girl and maybe even Black Fox have fallen for him already…” Bulldozer looked at Black Fox out of the corner of his eye in order to watch her response to his words intently.

  “NANI?! WHAT?!” Both Mr. Suit and Red Dragon burst out in outraged unison.

  Black Fox turned to Bulldozer and met his eyes. “Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m falling for him. But I can’t say the same for Galaxy Girl. It’s a shame though that it seems to be unrequited. I feel sorry for you, Galaxy Girl. But there are many fish in the sea.” Black Fox said in her serene manner.

  Galaxy Girl’s jaw dropped open and she opened and closed her mouth in shock but no words were able to come out.

  Jake was just looking confused since how could Galaxy Girl have an unrequited love? Who wouldn’t love her? She was amazing.

  Red Dragon was coming up behind Jake ready to strangle him when Mr. Suit started walking up the stairs again. “Hurry up, morons. We don’t have time for this nonsense.” Mr. Suit walked right past the bouncer who had been busy stopping some other club goers from just wandering into the VIP section, when the bouncer noticed Mr. Suit and chased after him.

  “Hey, wait! Where do you think you’re going? This is the VIP lounge. If you’re not on the list you can’t be up here.” The bouncer, who was dressed in a silver jumpsuit, was saying.

  Mr. Suit spun around and flashed the bouncer a charming smile. “Oh, I believe I’m on the list.” Mr. Suit ran a hand through his slicked back hair in such a way that the club lights reflected off of the silver cufflink on Mr. Suit’s shirt cuff. The cufflink was round and resembled the interior
of a watch with jeweled, spinning gears.

  The bouncer’s eyes widened as he caught sight of the cufflink. “Cufflink…” He murmured in a soft voice before his attitude did a 180. “It’s truly an honor, sir. Please go right ahead. You and your friends.” The bouncer waved for the rest of the Samurai Superheroes to make their way into the VIP lounge.

  “Show off.” Jake groused, hands in his pockets as he followed Mr. Suit to a table.

  Mr. Suit chose a glass cube that had a crushed Ferrari inside of it for their table. Having a table that had a crushed car in it that had been salvaged from a junkyard was the latest craze in NYC. The table also had several fancy, black leather chairs and couches situated around it.

  In less than a minute, a cute cyborg waitress came to take their orders. Jake immediately checked her out running his eyes over her faux-leather, hot pink tube dress, white boots and gloves and the shock of pink hair that was on the top of her head. “Hi! My name is Pink and I will be your waitress for the evening! Would you all like to see a menu or do you know what you wish to order?” Pink asked in a bubbly manner. Jake noticed she had a cybernetic arm and a cybernetic leg.

  Strike! Jake thought before he interrupted Mr. Suit who was just about to speak. “Your name is Pink? I thought it was Campbell’s, ‘cause you are mmm…mmm good.” Jake waggled his eyebrows at the cyborg. That’s when Jake noticed her eyes - her irises were unusual because they were blue with yellow flower petals surrounding her pupils. Colored contacts? Jake wondered.

  “Er…?” Pink quirked her head at Jake and smiled. She looked him over deciding he was handsome and was about to respond when Mr. Suit elbowed Jake right out of the couch so that he landed in a twitching heap on the floor.

  Mr. Suit ignored Jake’s moans of pain as he placed his order. “We already know what we want, my dear. Bring us the House Special - the Flaming Salamander Set.” Mr. Suit steepled his fingers before him and gave the waitress an intent look managing to effectively capture the complete attention of their waitress.

  Pink’s eyes sparkled and she became even more excited. “Ooo~ right away, sir!” She sped off to place their order. The carpet literally smoking with the speed with which the girl had run off.

  Jake gave Mr. Suit a curious look as he pulled himself back onto the couch, “What’s a Flaming Salamander Set?”

  A haughty expression formed on Mr. Suit’s face as he looked down his nose at Jake. “You’ll see, wimpy cowboy.” Mr. Suit then shook his head realizing that the happy-go-lucky atmosphere of Salamander was distracting him. He needed to concentrate on their mission…

  Mr. Suit began to resume his scan of the dance floor from their higher vantage point, searching for any suspicious looking characters, people he knew were hackers or previous buyers of E.T. Tech.

  As Mr. Suit was doing this, Pink returned with a black drink tray arranged with various alcoholic drinks - all of which looked very interesting as each drink had been presented in a different style of glass and the drinks were all different colors. Some of the drinks looked strong like a simple scotch on the rocks while others resembled the fancy, fruit flavored drinks that women usually ordered and that had pink umbrellas stuck in them.

  “Here you go! One Flaming Salamander Set! Enjoy!” Pink said before she skipped off.

  Jake watched her go morosely, wondering if he could somehow manage to get Pink’s telephone number if he asked for it and wondering if he’d have the courage to call her afterwards if she actually did give it to him. “Hey, Mr. Suit is she wearing colored contacts do you think?”

  “Colored contacts?” Mr. Suit pushed his VR glasses up his nose. “I think not. Her eyes have been genetically altered. It’s the latest trend with the girls since the process was leaked over the Internet.”

  Mr. Suit soon caught sight of a few people he recognized. “Hey…isn’t that Flash, the leader of the Solar Flares? And who’s that next to him?” Mr. Suit’s face paled as he suddenly recognized the man standing next to Flash. “What’s Nix Duo doing here? That bastard.” Jake was surprised by the hate that was dripping from Mr. Suit’s voice. Mr. Suit felt Jake’s eyes on him and turned to offer some kind of explanation. “He’s the leader of the Metalheads, the rival gang of the Solar Flares. It’s strange that they would be seen together. They hate each other. They’re in the middle of a violent turf war too.” Mr. Suit stroked his chin thoughtfully as he tried to recompose himself.

  Although Mr. Suit appeared calm now Jake hadn’t failed to notice Mr. Suit’s odd reaction to Nix Duo. He had grown pale, almost as if he were afraid? Jake shook his head. Naw, impossible, Mr. Suit isn’t afraid of anyone. And if he was…then I should be very very very afraid of said individual.

  “Who? Who?” Jake asked as he looked over Mr. Suit’s shoulder and spotted two men dressed up like bikers. One of the bikers was dressed in black leather from head-to-toe and had a biker helmet on his head with the visor shut effectively hiding his face. The man standing next to him was dressed in a yellow leather bodysuit and had on a yellow and black biker helmet. His visor was also down blocking his face from view. The man in yellow seemed normal enough but as for the man in black…he had silver chains wrapped around his entire body and Jake shuddered. There was something just not quite right about that guy.

  Black Fox followed Mr. Suit’s line of sight and her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the two gang leaders. “You’re right. That’s Nix Duo and standing next to him is Flash. The Metalheads and the Solar Flares are both cyborg biker gangs.” Black Fox turned to inform Jake.

  Mr. Suit’s eyes shifted to a fat cyborg that was standing next to the two gang leaders and who had golden cybernetic limbs. Mr. Suit’s eyes narrowed - those had been custom-made. But custom-made cybernetics were still illegal. Mr. Suit’s eyes widened as he realized who the man must be: “Ah! It’s Gold Fist! He owns several casinos in New York City and arranges for illegal gambling events like cyborg martial arts tournaments where participants use the E.T. Tech as they beat the shit out of each other and sometimes kill each other.”

  “Cyborg martial arts tournaments?” Jake raised an eyebrow. “Have you participated in anything like that before, Mr. Suit?”

  Mr. Suit gave Jake a bland look. “I’m not a cyborg but…I plan on participating in Nova Inara’s Death Cube Matches this year. Cyborgs challenge Nova Inara’s Nemesis Zeros and request a Death Cube Match - a one on one fight, the challenger versus Nova Inara’s chosen fighter. People bet on the outcome of the match. In fact, Dr. Valery intends for all of us to participate. It will give me the chance to fight against the Nemesis Zero’s strongest fighter - Zero One a.k.a Zippo. Nova Inara’s top henchman. That guy down there…Nix Duo is also known as Zero Two.”

  “Zippo?” Jake asked, his head spinning with all the information Mr. Suit was unloading on top of him. “Wait a second. Dr. Valery intends for us to participate in some kind of Death Cube Match?” Jake paled as he remembered the Death Cube that had housed Orochi. “I really don’t like the sound of that and you’re saying that guy in the chains is one of the Nemesis Zeros? Shit. I want to leave now.”

  “Right now, Zippo holds the title for the greatest living-metal swordsman in the world. Once I defeat him I’ll be the Alpha Class Living-Metal Swordsman in the world and then I just have to think about winning the Galactic title next.” Mr. Suit stroked his chin in thought. “Just have to get my hands on a spaceship somehow…”

  Jake was giving Mr. Suit an incredulous look. Mr. Suit was insane to want to fight these strong guys. Jake watched dazedly as a yellow and purple spotted shark swam right over their glass table.

  Standing in front of the unlikely allies was a young woman dressed up completely like a ninja. She was dressed from head-to-toe in black leather, had a face mask covering half of her face, and two large cases were strapped to her back that Jake couldn’t help but think were concealed weapons of some kind. How she had managed to get those past security Jake had no idea. Although the Samurai Superher
oes had all managed to get their own weapons past security too using Dr. Valery’s invisibility holograms and anti-metal detectors. The ninja looked Asian with her pale skin, dark narrow eyes, and pixie haircut of dark, emerald green hair. Jake also noticed that she had a metal arm. She’s a cyborg, Jake thought with a shiver. Are there no normal human girls in this entire club?

  Almost as if the young woman could sense eyes upon her she suddenly looked up and Jake’s eyes met with hers. Jake pressed the zoom button on his VR glasses. She had the most unusual looking eyes that were green, blue, yellow, purple and red. Her irises were rainbow colored. Jake realized her eyes must have been genetically altered like Pink’s.

  “Is that a ninja?” Jake blinked, “Is she one of those vigilante superheroes that Green Avenger told me about?”

  Mr. Suit’s eyes narrowed at the cyborg ninja and he noticed a tattoo of a rainbow colored diamond on the top of her hand. His eyes lit up with recognition. “Tech Thief…Prism…it must be her! Shit!” Mr. Suit swore as he watched Prism hand the men three different USB flash drives.

  One by one Nix Duo, Flash and Gold Fist swiped their credit cards across her iPhone. Their payments for the E.T. Tech were automatically transferred into Prism’s bank account. The whole transaction took mere seconds.

  “Dammit! Prism just sold the stolen Tech to Nix Duo, Flash and Gold Fist! We have to stop them before they leave the club. We also need to arrest Prism. Galaxy Girl, Red Dragon - you both go after Nix Duo. Black Fox, Bulldozer, you two go after Flash. Jake and I will go after Gold Fist and try to arrest Prism. Samurai Superheroes - MOVE OUT!” Mr. Suit commanded the force.

  The SSF leapt into action. Jake was incredibly surprised when Bulldozer picked Black Fox up into his arms and suddenly jumped right off the second floor to land in the center of the dance floor below with a loud thud. Bulldozer set Black Fox on her feet carefully before they both turned to block Flash’s escape route.

  Black Fox whipped out her katana and deactivated the invisibility hologram so that the living-metal sword revealed itself. “Tamamo-no-mae Evolution One!” She declared as her sword glowed with a bright green light and then transformed into the whip-sword.

  At her side Bulldozer followed suit, taking out his once invisible katana as well, “Ushioni Evolution One!” Bulldozer said as his katana glowed with a green-tinged light and transformed into a gigantic zanbatō. He hefted the sword up to rest across his shoulder blades in a cocky pose.

  “Hurry up, dumbass!” Mr. Suit took off running for the stairs with Jake following close behind. Not too far behind them were Galaxy Girl and Red Dragon. Though Galaxy Girl was holding Red Dragon back since she couldn’t run as swiftly as the others in her slippery yet stylish platform boots. Once the group reached the dance floor they split up. Galaxy Girl and Red Dragon headed towards Nix Duo while Jake and Mr. Suit pursued Gold Fist and Prism.

  Galaxy Girl and Red Dragon ran forward to stand in front of Nix Duo. Galaxy Girl took her naginata down from her back and which became visible as she deactivated the invisibility hologram. She swung the naginata over her shoulders spinning it before she pointed it at Nix Duo. “Nix Duo, you’re under arrest for possession of illegal E.T. Tech!” Galaxy Girl declared.

  Red Dragon shot Galaxy Girl a surprised look from within his robot head. Usually, Galaxy Girl acted incredibly reluctant to face the cyborg criminals they had been ordered to arrest.

  Nix Duo looked Galaxy Girl over from head to toe, letting out a low whistle. “I wouldn’t mind if you locked me up somewhere and threw away the key, babe. But I can’t let my ass get sent to Cyborg Prison just yet. I’m in the middle of a war after all and I just got my hands on some Tech that will give my gang a new edge.” Nix Duo looked down at his nails in a bored manner. Galaxy Girl noticed his nails were metal claws that had been attached to his bodysuit. The lights in the club reflected off of the claws giving them a sinister gleam. “So, I suggest you get out of my way, girlie, before you get hurt.”

  Galaxy Girl stubbornly stood her ground, “No. It’s time for you to come quietly and stop resisting arrest.” Hopefully, he’ll come quietly so I can hurry up and get back to the mansion. I’m missing my favorite shows on E Entertainment television because of this freak. I want to see who becomes America’s next top model!

  “Resisting?” Nix Duo drawled. “I haven’t done that yet. But there’s a time for everything, I suppose. It’s a shame to kill a beautiful woman…but, oh well.” Nix Duo raised his hand at Galaxy Girl and the metal claws that had been attached to his bodysuit suddenly detached and flew through the air towards Galaxy Girl.

  “Epp!” Galaxy Girl spun her naginata in front of her haphazardly to block the attack.

  The metal claws were ricocheted off of Galaxy Girl’s weapon and went zooming into the club goers and dancers who were on the dance floor. Panicked screams ripped through the air and Galaxy Girl watched as several people threw their arms up in an attempt to protect themselves from the deadly metal claws.

  “Oops.” Galaxy Girl muttered to herself as she watched the chaos that the dance floor had become.

  “Shit! What is that bimbo doing?” Red Dragon moved quickly and unsheathed his living-metal katana as he rushed for the club goers. He protectively stood in front of them and moved his sword through the air cutting through the metal claws instead of deflecting them so that they fell to pieces all around him. “Galaxy Girl you baka! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?! These pathetic humans almost got killed!”

  Galaxy Girl put her hands on her hips and frowned back at Red Dragon. “Hey, I didn’t mean to. I mean, it’s not like I did it on purpose, geez. Way to blow up and make a big deal about something so small. No one even got hurt, did they?”

  Red Dragon was about to respond when he caught sight of Nix Duo running off towards the club exit.

  “Shit! Nix Duo is getting away because of you, baka onna! Foolish woman!” Red Dragon snarled.

  “Hey, don’t call me a ‘baka onna’ you…freak!” Galaxy Girl shot back as she spun to face Nix Duo only to find that he was no longer there. Her eyebrow twitched. “Shit…he really is getting away!”

  “This is all your fault for distracting me, woman! Hurry up and pursue him!” Red Dragon commanded imperiously.

  “Don’t order me around, freak! Hey, you! Wait right there…you’re under arrest!” Galaxy Girl shouted as she chased after Nix Duo while Red Dragon followed right behind her. However-

  Galaxy Girl tripped and fell flat on her face. Red Dragon tripped over her and they ended up on the floor in a tangled heap. Deep deep down Red Dragon didn’t mind this precarious position all that much, but seriously now was definitely not the time!

  “GALAXY GIRL!” Red Dragon roared in frustration. “I’m getting really sick of your wardrobe malfunctions!”

  “Ow! Hey, don’t yell right in my ear like that you freak! And get off of me! You’re heavy and that better be your sword jabbing into my stomach or you’re dead, you hear me?!” Galaxy Girl declared as she shoved Red Dragon off of her. “Geez…I’m sorry.”

  “You are?” Red Dragon questioned as he pushed himself up off the floor and gave Galaxy Girl a surprised look.

  “Not.” Galaxy Girl smirked.

  Red Dragon’s temple throbbed. “BAKA ONNA!”

  ***

  Meanwhile, Bulldozer and Black Fox faced off against the cyborg biker Flash. Black Fox got into a fighting stance before whipping her long sword towards Flash, but he lithely dodged out of the way. He’s fast…too fast. Illegal accelerator cybernetic implants, maybe? Shit.

  Bulldozer tried to attack Flash next swinging his massive sword Flash’s way, however, Bulldozer’s movements were so slow to Flash that he actually hopped up onto Bulldozer’s sword blade! Flash then ran along the blade towards Bulldozer while the cyborg’s hands turned into sharp metal claws.

  “Crap!” Bulldozer swore.

  “Bulldozer!” Black Fox yelled before quickly sla
shing her whip-sword in Flash’s direction.

  “Tsk.” Flash was forced to leap off of Bulldozer’s sword, doing a few impressive back flips through the air. “I’ve had just about enough of playing with you two…see you!” Flash said before holding up his hands in the Samurai Superheroes’ direction with his palms facing them. From out of the very center of his palms a metal nozzle of some kind emerged.

  Suddenly yellow flames shot out towards Black Fox. “GET DOWN!” Bulldozer cried as he shoved Black Fox to the ground and shielded her with his hulking body.

  Flash laughed and cried out with psychotic delight at their plight as he decided to continue raining flames down upon them mercilessly. “Burn! Samurai Superheroes!”

  Bulldozer’s orange shirt began to set on fire and Black Fox began to panic. “Bulldozer! Get off of me. You need to put out the flames!”

  Bulldozer obediently got off of Black Fox standing up, but as soon as he was standing Black Fox shoved him roughly to the floor. “Roll and put out the flames. You may be a cyborg but you’re still part human. You need to take better care of yourself Bulldozer.” Black Fox chided in a stern tone with a frown on her face.

  Bulldozer obeyed her and rolled across the floor successfully managing to put out the flames. He stood up and faced Black Fox, his shirt was smoking, and put a hand behind his head in a sheepish gesture, “Yea but…whatever I lose Dr. Valery can just replace it, right?”

  Black Fox slapped Bulldozer hard across the face. Bulldozer’s eyes went wide. Black Fox’s expression turned frigid. “Don’t you ever say that again, Bulldozer. Human beings are not replaceable. Don’t forget the reason we’re fighting against Nova Inara in the first place. We’re trying to protect our humanity.” She finished in her cold, mature tone.

  An ashamed look came to Bulldozer’s face. “Er, yea, I’m sorry Black Fox. I guess I forgot. Thanks for reminding me. I’d really be lost without you, Black Fox. Heh.”

  Black Fox’s lip twitched as she almost smiled. “Indeed.”

  “But…at least I didn’t lose anything important.” Bulldozer placed a hand over his crotch and felt to make sure everything was still intact. “Thank God.”

  Black Fox used her whip-sword to trip Bulldozer up so that he fell flat on his face before she looked around to see where Flash had gone and realized that he had managed to escape during the commotion. “Tsk.” Black Fox bit down on her thumbnail in frustration. “He escaped. Dr. Valery won’t be pleased…”

  Bulldozer managed to push himself up off the floor again and gave Black Fox a worried look. “Think she’ll punish us?” He shuddered as he remembered having received Dr. Valery’s somewhat perverted punishments before - like testing out some of her new high-tech sex toys…

  Black Fox raised an eyebrow at Bulldozer’s strange reaction. “Maybe.”

  “I should have let my shirt stay on fire.”