Cowboy Samurai X Badass Android

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  ***

  Simultaneously, Jake and Mr. Suit pursued Gold Fist. “Um, who’s this guy we’re chasing again?”

  “His name is Gold Fist, you idiot. He’s one of the most dangerous cyborg Crime Lords in New York City. Focus!” Mr. Suit shot back as he finally closed in on Gold Fist who merely turned around and smiled at them as his robot bodyguards suddenly materialized around him.

  Inner Jake: Ah~ why am I following Mr. Suit?! This Gold Fist guy has robot bodyguards - shit! They look like golden Terminators!

  Five humanoid shaped, golden robots with radio antennas on the tops of their heads moved to stand in front of Gold Fist. Without fear, Mr. Suit unsheathed Ōkami and pointed the sword at the gold robots. Mr. Suit took a deep breath and activated his psy-link to communicate with his sword. Okay, let’s do this Ōkami! Mr. Suit summoned the sword’s power and it began to glow with a green-tinged light. “Ōkami Evolution One! Wolf Claw!” Jake watched as Mr. Suit’s sword morphed into a clawed paw.

  Mr. Suit let out a battle cry as he charged the golden robots and slashed the gigantic claw through the air. Jake watched, thoroughly impressed, as Mr. Suit’s sword sliced through the robots like a knife through butter. The living-metal swords really could cut through anything. Jake realized as he felt like clapping or eating popcorn or something.

  The robot bodyguards fell to pieces at Mr. Suit’s feet. Gold Fist frowned and began to back away from the two Samurai Superheroes. Perhaps, he had underestimated them. At the same time, Prism was making her own escape out the back exit of the club but Mr. Suit noticed.

  “Jake! Go after Prism! Don’t let her escape! I’ll handle Gold Fist - now, go!” Mr. Suit ordered firmly.

  “Er, yea, right…!” Jake took off running after Prism. Why am I taking orders from Mr. Narcissistic Prince again? He exited the club into a dark alleyway that existed right next to the club between the club and another building. As soon as he entered the alley Jake had to dodge a dagger attack.

  “Epp!” Jake nearly had his head chopped off and he scuttled sideways across the wall like a crab and as far away from Prism as he could.

  And then he realized something. Doh! Why the hell did I obey Mr. Suit just then?! Why the hell did I actually pursue Prism? I’m no match for some kind of female cyborg ninja! What was I thinking? No…I wasn’t thinking…I’m so going to die! Someone help me! Save me! I’m too young and handsome to dieee~! Jake inwardly moaned in his mind.

  [Jake VS Prism] Fight…?

  Prism and Jake faced off. “You must be a brave samurai to come after me despite my reputation. I’m impressed.” She purred at Jake as she held her twin daggers up before her in a stance that reminded Jake of Ultraviolet except Prism was much taller and had those mesmerizing rainbow colored eyes…

  Reputation? Good thing I don’t know about it or I’d be even more afraid than I already am! “Your eyes glow like binary stars, babe.” Jake complimented before shaking his head as he tried not to get distracted by her eyes. “Yea, well, you know,” Jake put a hand behind his head bashfully. “That’s me alright, brave hero Jake Lonestar…ahahahaha!” He laughed nervously.

  “Prepare to die, my brave samurai,” Prism said as she rushed forward and attacked Jake with her long twin daggers. Jake noticed that her daggers appeared to be glowing with a green-tinged light. Are those living-metal daggers? Where did she get them? Jake wondered.

  “Epp!” Jake squeaked as he ducked and dived and dove out of the way. “Mommy!”

  Prism frowned, the samurai was actually managing to avoid her attacks and she couldn’t land a single hit on him. Was he skilled? She wondered. And yet…he was acting like a complete cowardly fool and had such strange movements. She had never seen a human being move quite like that before.

  Prism threw five shuriken Jake’s way. Jake let his superhuman reflexes take over and he moved his body this way and that and bent his body back - in half - Matrix-style and a shuriken flew over his chest. “Whoa. I totally just pulled a Matrix move, baby! Go me! Booyah!”

  “What the hell?” Prism was beginning to get frustrated. “I’ve never fought anyone that moves like you do before. Stand still!” Prism complained.

  Jake grinned. “No way. Catch me if you can~!” Jake decided to make a run for it, as Prism took off hot on his heels.

  “He’s running away?! Grrr! Gah…get back here you cowardly samurai!” Prism sheathed her two twin daggers on her back and raised her hands towards Jake, palms facing him and then released several razor wires Jake’s way. They wrapped around Jake’s ankle and effectively tripped him up. Jake landed with a hard smack on his face on the cold, hard, lonely ground.

  “Owwww…” Jake moaned, tears forming in his eyes. “That was mean…”

  Prism approached Jake and began to wrap her ninja wires around his body like a cocoon. Like a spider wrapping up her prey. Epp! In seconds, Jake was completely covered by metal wires.

  Prism smiled triumphantly. “Caught you, you insect. And now, you die. My ninja wires are razor sharp.” Prism slowly controlled the nanomachine wires to constrict around Jake’s body using her psy-link with the wires, and a wire slowly began to cut into Jake’s ankle drawing blood. She had barely gotten started when Jake began to panic. “Ahhh! No! Don’t! It hurts! Please stop!”

  Ahhh! She’s really going to kill me! I hate the sight of blood…especially if it’s mine! I hate pain too! Jake internally moaned.

  “I haven’t even started yet and you’re already like this? Are you really a Samurai Superhero? I heard that when Nix Duo captured Mr. Suit and his partner that they were tortured for hours and that Mr. Suit never broke.”

  “What? Mr. Suit was tortured?” Jake looked up at Prism with teary-eyes. “But I don’t want to be tortured…I’m not a hero like Mr. Suit.” Jake looked up at Prism and gave her his most pathetic, puppy-dog face making his eyes appear to be as large as possible.

  Prism was just about to have her nanomachine wires constrict around Jake further when she caught his look. That look…those eyes…he was…just too damned cute! “I was just going to scare you a little but this is too pathetic to even watch. I’ll just put you out of your misery, pathetic Samurai Superhero.” Prism took out her dagger and walked towards the trembling Jake. He was pretty close to hyperventilating at this point. “Say goodnight.” She said before hitting Jake over the back of his head and knocking him out cold. Prism sheathed her dagger on her back and turned to go. “Pathetic. That was just sad.” However-

  Orochi instantly took control of Jake’s body as soon as he was knocked out cold.

  “What did you just call me, insolent woman?” Came a fierce sounding voice.

  Prism turned around wide-eyed to see Jake standing up but with the metal wires still completely cocooning him. All of a sudden ‘Jake’ the samurai seemed different. Prism noticed the glowing samurai sword in his hand that was pulsing with power and energy. There was something different about Jake suddenly, he exuded confidence and strength and raw power. Prism was instantly on guard.

  “Argghh! Hooryah!” Orochi let out a battle cry as he stretched his arms out and ripped the metal wires off of his body with his bare hands. The wires had cut deeply into his flesh but Orochi had managed to get the wires off though streaks of red blood could be seen through Jake’s torn gold shirt. Once Orochi’s hands were free he tied Jake’s hair into a ponytail.

  “No way…” Prism gawked at the bloody samurai. Is this really the same sniveling coward I just faced? Impossible.

  Orochi wasted no time in charging Prism, sword raised, and in one second Orochi was in front of Prism and had his sword pressed to her throat-

  Epp! I didn’t even see him move! Prism thought as she swallowed nervously. Suddenly, the tables had turned.

  “What is a beautiful woman like you doing out here on the battlefield? A woman’s place is not to fight but to create a place of peace and comfort for her man at home. A woman’s role is to put a man at ease and make him fe
el comfortable, so that he can protect you. Let me protect you, Prism. Allow me to protect you. You don’t need to fight. Let me be your faithful samurai.” Orochi looked at Prism intently as he began to lower his sword, willing the female ninja to surrender.

  Inner Jake: Ehhh? What is Orochi doing? Is he actually flirting?

  Prism’s eyes widened like saucers and she began to tremble slightly. For some reason Orochi’s words hit home and she found herself snapping. “What?” Help? He wanted to help her? She didn’t need anyone’s help. She had always been alone…fighting on her own and now someone wanted to help her? Get real. She could do everything on her own, just like always. She was a survivor. In a man’s world she had found a way to come out on top. She was the best Tech Thief in New York City! She would rather die than to surrender. However-

  At that same moment the cyborg Crime Lord Gold Fist went flying through the side wall of the club Salamander and into the alleyway shifting Orochi’s attention away from Prism. Prism seized her chance and shot a grappling hook that went to the roof of the building that was next to the club. It safely attached and then Prism pressed a button on the grappling hook so that she shot up into the air making her escape as the cord retracted.

  Orochi turned around only to realize that Prism had escaped his grasp. “Tsk. That slippery woman managed to escape. She’s in over her head though. I sense powerful enemies closing in on her.” A dark scowl formed on Orochi’s face. “It’s a shame, she was a beautiful woman…she reminded me a little of…” Orochi shook his head as he stared down at Gold Fist who was lying in a heap of rubble. Then Mr. Suit leapt out into the alleyway next through the hole in the wall and pointed his sword at Gold Fist.

  “Surrender yourself, Gold Fist, you have nowhere to run. It’s over.” Mr. Suit smirked.

  Gold Fist just grinned revealing that he had replaced all of his teeth with solid gold ones. “Over? I think not…this show is just getting started!” He raised a remote control device and pressed a button on it. You guessed it - the red button.

  All of a sudden more gold robot bodyguards poured into the alleyway. “Shit…there’s too many of them…” Mr. Suit looked around worriedly at the twenty robots that were now closing in on him.

  “Too many? Too few, you mean. I’ll take those nineteen over there and you can take that other one. Sound good?” Orochi declared in a confident drawl.

  Mr. Suit turned to look at Orochi in shock, noticing his confident posture, expression and his murderous aura, “You’re not Jake are you? You’re Orochi.”

  Orochi nodded once.

  Mr. Suit gave Orochi a challenging stare. “Nineteen? Let’s just go fifty-fifty on these hunks of scrap metal. I can handle whatever you can handle, Orochi.” Mr. Suit grinned, his white teeth gleaming.

  Orochi let a small smirk form on his face in return as he nodded in Mr. Suit’s direction. “Just don’t get in my way, Samurai Superhero.”

  “Heh, same goes to you.” Mr. Suit shot back.

  “Hooryah!” The two samurai let out a battle cry and charged the golden bodyguard robots.

  [Mr. Suit and Orochi VS Bodyguard Robots] Fight!

  “Evolution One!” Orochi cried and raised his katana into the air as it began to glow with a green light. The sword then began to morph until it had transformed into a blade with sharp teeth like a saw. “Let’s do this!”

  Mr. Suit nodded, and they attacked the gold robots with their living-metal swords in their second form. The two living-metal samurai were able to control their swords’ shape and size - increasing or decreasing it when they saw fit. Claws wrapped around metal and crunched down while huge metal teeth sliced through solid gold. Mr. Suit and Orochi fought side-by-side, back-to-back, in perfect harmony.

  Inner Jake: What the fuck? Why are Orochi and Mr. Suit getting along and being so chummy all of a sudden?! Gah! Jake mentally stuck his tongue out.

  It seemed as though Mr. Suit respected Orochi as a warrior, and fellow samurai. It didn’t take long for Mr. Suit and Orochi to make quick work of Gold Fist’s bodyguards. The two samurai turned towards the cyborg Crime Lord next. The cyborg was fat, Jabba the Hutt fat with a disgusting triple chin.

  Gold Fist gulped as Mr. Suit and Orochi approached him.

  Mr. Suit pointed his sword at Gold Fist while Orochi did the same and both men smirked. “Show’s over, Gold Fist.” Mr. Suit drawled.

  “What did I tell you before samurai - this show’s just getting started. In fact, it’s time for the grand finale!” Gold Fist declared as he pressed another button on his remote control.

  A gold bodyguard robot exited out from the hole in the side of club Salamander and Mr. Suit and Orochi both turned to see that the robot had someone held hostage-

  It was Galaxy Girl. She had tears in her bright blue eyes.

  “Mr. Suit! Jake! Help!” She cried out. “He’s wrinkling my dress!”

  Gold Fist pushed another button on his remote control and the robot’s eyes were replaced with black screens that displayed a numerical count down. The numbers were neon green. “You better hurry up and go save her, Samurai Superheroes because I’ve just set my robot to self destruct.” Gold Fist chuckled darkly.

  10…9…8…

  “Shit!” Mr. Suit rushed towards the robot and Galaxy Girl while Orochi moved to pursue Gold Fist who was running towards the exit of the alleyway and towards the street where a long, stretch limo had just pulled up - a shiny gold one - and it was waiting for him. However-

  Inner Jake: Orochi?! What the hell? We have to go back and save Galaxy Girl!

  No need. That is not really Galaxy Girl but a hologram. We need to capture Gold Fist. He is our primary objective. Orochi responded to Jake within his mind via their psy-link.

  Inner Jake: But…is the robot a hologram too?

  6…5…4…

  Inner Jake: Will it really explode?!

  The robot is real and the ensuing explosion will be real.

  Inner Jake: But what about Mr. Suit? Why didn’t you tell Mr. Suit he’s running into a trap?!

  No time…I calculated it. I thought you didn’t like him anyways so why do you care if he’s blown up!

  Inner Jake: Blown up! I don’t like the guy but…I don’t want him dead! Dammit! Mr. Suit’s life is OUR PRIMARY OBJECTIVE, YOU IDIOT SWORD!

  Orochi stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide with surprise. Master? Alright then…but we’ll suffer damage.

  Inner Jake: I don’t care. Hurry up and save Mr. Suit!

  Understood.

  Orochi changed direction and rushed towards Mr. Suit and the robot that was about to explode.

  3…2…

  Orochi pushed Mr. Suit out of the way, and he went flying in the alley wall. Orochi then reached his hand out to touch the robot with Jake’s bare hand. Orochi grabbed onto the robot and flung the robot high into the air - it immediately flew twenty feet up. The robot began to short circuit, the hologram of Galaxy Girl disappeared and then-

  KABOOM. An explosion rocked the alleyway.

  “Jake?!” Mr. Suit yelled out, concern in his voice, as he was blasted backwards by the explosion. Orochi was blasted back by the force of the explosion as well and his head hit the ground hard.

  Jake regained consciousness. He was back in control of his body and… “Ahhh! It hurts! It hurts!” Jake began to freak out due to the pain of the wounds he had received while Orochi had been in control of his body.

  A few minutes later, Mr. Suit also regained consciousness and struggled to his feet. He saw the injured Jake rolling around on the ground, crying out and twisting in pain.

  A dark frown formed on Mr. Suit’s face. He got hurt because of me. Why? Why did that idiot cowboy do that? “Sorry, Orochi made you save me. I know you wouldn’t have gotten yourself hurt for my sake, Lonestar.”

  Jake, tears in his eyes, was in soooo much pain. “Er, yea…because of you and Orochi I just want to die! God, it hurts! Hurry up and call an ambulance or something, smart
-ass!”

  “No need for that, crybaby,” Came a drawling female voice.

  Jake turned to see Ultraviolet stalking towards him and as she did so her maid outfit morphed until she was wearing a white nurse’s outfit complete with a little white cap with a red cross on it that sat on her head and concealed her two antenna. She was click clacking towards him in a pair of sexy red heels.

  Is she a sight for sore eyes or what? Jake felt a trickle of sweat form on his brow as the sexy nurse approached him. “Um, this isn’t really the time for sex games, Ultraviolet. I really need an ambulance here. Oh my God, is that my blood. I’m going to pass out…” Jake swayed backwards.

  “This isn’t a game, pervy cowboy,” Ultraviolet declared taking out a gigantic syringe. Jake gulped. She stalked over to Jake, turned him over onto his stomach, and stabbed his ass with the syringe.

  “AHHHH…oh hey…I suddenly feel a whole lot better…what the hell was in that? Ladedadaaaaa~ Oh! Home home on the range…where the deer and the antelope play~” Jake began to sing in a loud and out of tune voice.

  Mr. Suit raised an eyebrow at Jake’s horrible, tone-deaf singing. “Gah, what did you give him, V?”

  “Morphine. I gave the idiot enough for a wounded elephant so the crybaby shouldn’t be able to feel a thing. Now I can see to his wounds without him bitching and moaning and crying like a wuss! How did the idiot end up like this anyways? He really must be a sucky swordsman.” Ultraviolet shook her head at Jake with a look of disgust painted on her face.

  Mr. Suit’s voice caught in his throat. He got like that saving me. Dammit…now I owe the idiot one.

  Ultraviolet began to unceremoniously strip Jake’s clothes off. Mr. Suit turned away with an awkward cough. Luckily, Ultraviolet had a first-aid kit with her that Dr. Valery had given her for emergencies and cyborg attacks. First, she used a disinfectant (that came in a bottle and looked like rubbing alcohol, and had a picture of Dr. Valery’s smiling face on the label which read: ‘Wound Cleaner. Dr. Valery Approved.’) to tend to all of the cuts that the living-metal ninja wire had caused Jake.

  She stitched up his deeper wounds before applying a healing salve to all of the wounds. The salve came in a small plastic container that had a twistable lid. The label on it also had Dr. Valery’s smiling face on it and read: ‘Wound Sealer. Dr. Valery Approved.’ As Ultraviolet applied salve to Jake’s wounds she couldn’t help but notice his muscular physique. His body was definitely attractive. She absentmindedly began to run her hands over his back muscles before she caught what she was doing with a start. Furious with herself, she then began to wrap white cloth bandages around Jake’s body. She used lots and lots of bandages until Jake ended up looking like a mummy.

  Ultraviolet’s expression had grown dark as she took in all the damage that Jake had endured. “Shit…how did he let this happen? That stupid dumbass. No…it must have been Orochi, that reckless idiot samurai. Putting Jake’s body in danger like this! Damn him…I need to keep an eye on that shitty sword. Oi! You can turn around now, useless asshole.”

  Mr. Suit figured the ‘lovely lady’ (sarcasm) was referring to him. Mr. Suit turned around only to gawk at Jake who Ultraviolet had transformed into a mummy. Jake still had his leather pants on but his entire torso, his arms and part of his face were completely wrapped in white bandages. Mr. Suit’s eye twitched, Overkill, crazy android girl…

  “This is what happens when I let Jake out of my sight.” Ultraviolet shook her head, a frown on her face. “I’m going to babysit him from now on! Mr. Suit.” Ultraviolet spun around to face the samurai. “I’m assuming you know our target’s current location so that we can continue the mission.”

  Mr. Suit raised an eyebrow at Ultraviolet. “How did you know, my dear? I placed a tracking nanomachine bug on Prism just before she escaped.” Mr. Suit took out small high-tech tracking device that had a touch screen. On screen a grid map was displayed as well as a moving, flashing dot. “That dot is Prism. She’s on the move.”

  “Where’s the slippery snake headed?” Ultraviolet drawled, cracking her knuckles in a menacing manner.

  “The South Street Sea Port.” Mr. Suit informed her.

  Ultraviolet nodded. “Right. Let’s wake Jake and then let’s go nab that Tech Thief!”

  “Uh…how do you intend to wake him up?” Mr. Suit asked.

  Ultraviolet took out another gigantic syringe, flipped Jake onto his stomach, and injected his ass with a smack.

  “YEE-OW!” Jake cried out as adrenaline was sent coursing through his veins.

  “Remind me to never pass out around you.” Mr. Suit said in a bland tone.

  ***

  Ultraviolet had brought the cyborg warhorses Pinstripe and Ginger with her, and so Mr. Suit mounted Pinstripe while Jake mounted Ginger. Jake was surprised when Ultraviolet hopped up behind him. Her nurse outfit had morphed back into her maid outfit and Jake wondered what kind of material it was that could do that…some kind of nanomachine material similar to Mr. Suit’s smart-suit, probably. Apparently, Ultraviolet was his personal nurse if need be. Man, that’s hot. Jake thought to himself as a goofy grin formed on his face. He then tried to concentrate as he noticed that Mr. Suit had already ridden off into traffic. Shit! Jake urged Ginger forward and took off after Mr. Suit.

  It didn’t take the two Samurai Superheroes very long to arrive at the South Street Sea Port, located on the East River, which was New York City’s original port. The seaport had an eight vessel historic fleet, including ships dating from 1885. The vessels were open to the public but Mr. Suit and Jake weren’t there to sightsee.

  Several minutes earlier, Prism had arrived at the seaport to see her boyfriend Zak speaking with several men dressed in black suits and that had white, faceless masks on their faces. Prism’s eyes widened when she saw just whom her boyfriend was speaking to next. Her face filled with fear. Oh no…it can’t be. A man dressed in a black leather, trench coat and a pair of combat boots with a white faceless mask that had the number ‘01’ flashing on it occasionally was towering over Zak as he stood in front of him. The man could only be Zero One, a.k.a Zippo, the strongest of the Nemesis Zeros. The African-American man had a mass of black dreadlocks on his head, several gold chains around his neck, and Prism spotted a fancy gold watch on his wrist that was probably a Rolex. His faceless mask was special and had a hole in it for his mouth so that he could smoke pot and fight adversaries at the same time. Pot relaxed Zippo. Prism’s eyes darted to the living-metal sword that was strapped to Zippo’s waist. Zippo’s living-metal sword was already legendary…

  “Zippo. What the hell is he doing here? Zak has only ever dealt with the pushers before….ZAK!” Prism called out to her boyfriend. However-

  Zippo unsheathed his sword and stabbed her boyfriend Zak through the heart with it in one merciless motion.

  Prism’s pupils dilated in horror and she paled. “Zak…no…it’s not possible! I’m too late…I can’t be too late…we had the money for the NANO! DAMMIT ZIPPO! I’ll fucking kill you!”

  Prism unsheathed her twin daggers from her back and rushed at Zippo. Zippo turned around and gave Prism a bored look from under his faceless mask. “Prism…you’re too late. Zak is ours. Enen-ra Evolution One!” Zippo raised his katana that glowed with a green-tinged light before bursting into what appeared to be a cloud of smoke. This smoke cloud swallowed up Prism’s daggers and then the smoke began to attack her causing her to cry out.

  She thought she could see the smoke moving like a living thing and even thought she saw a gaping hole for a mouth and glowing eyes within the smoke. It reminded her of some kind of smoke demon. A chill went down Prism’s spine as the cloud of smoke leered at her. She frantically tried to think about what was really happening. It must be a cloud of infinitesimal nanomachines…his sword actually dematerialized to its smallest form and he’s still able to control every one of those nanomachines. It’s amazing.

  “Ahhh!” Blood spurted through the air and Pr
ism fell to the ground where she lay unmoving.

  Zippo took a drag on his joint as he looked down at Prism coldly. “She’s such a hot babe. It’s a shame she can’t live. We could have had some real fun together. Men…chain her up. I’m sending her to meet the fishes. Nova Inara said she didn’t want Prism left alive. Said she knew too much of the truth.”

  “Right boss,” The Noppera-bō thugs took out some heavy chains and began to wrap them around Prism’s body.

  “Zak…my love…” Prism murmured sadly. She was about to be tossed into the East River when Jake and Mr. Suit arrived upon the scene.

  “Hold it right there, Zippo!” Mr. Suit galloped towards Zippo and pointed his sword at the cyborg.

  Jake followed, galloping close behind. Epp! He thought in his mind as he looked at the scary looking thugs…mafia maybe? He was glad he was on a horse so that they couldn’t see his trembling legs. Jake felt Ultraviolet embrace him more tightly and Jake’s trembling suddenly ceased.

  Zippo looked up and recognized Mr. Suit, brows raised beneath the mask, “Mr. Suit…what are you doing here?”

  “I could be asking you the same thing, Zippo. Why are you trying to kill Prism? What’d she ever do to you? And who’s that young man you just killed?!” Mr. Suit demanded.

  “My aren’t we a curious cat? You know, curiosity killed the cat, Mr. Suit. But if you must know, the young man I just killed was Prism’s boyfriend, Zak. He was a NANO addict. He called me today saying he had the money to buy more and so I came. Only to discover the little shit actually had the balls to lie to me. Well, no one lies to Zippo and gets away with it, mon. I gave him just what he wanted…and as for the Tech Thief Prism,” Zippo shrugged. “Apparently she was on her way here with the money to save her boyfriend but sadly she arrived too late. I guess love doesn’t always conquer all.”

  Mr. Suit was positive that Zippo was smiling beneath that creepy mask. “But why kill her?”

  Zippo shrugged. “Orders from above, you need not concern yourself, Mr. Suit. Though I would have enjoyed fucking her before I had to kill her.”

  Mr. Suit clenched his fists around the hilt of Ōkami. This was why he hated Zippo the most - he was known for being a notorious womanizer who treated women like playthings. He was the worst kind of man in Mr. Suit’s book. “Let her go asshole, or else.” Mr. Suit growled.

  “Or else what? You’ll fight me? Good. I haven’t had a good workout for a while!” Zippo cracked his neck loudly from side to side. “But let’s make things more interesting first, shall we, mon? Boys - toss her in the river!”

  “Roger boss.” The Noppera-bō thugs picked Prism up and tossed her into the river.

  “No!” Mr. Suit and Jake both cried out.

  Jake hopped off his horse and ran to the river’s edge. He hesitated for a few seconds before he dove in after her with a loud splash!

  Ultraviolet dismounted Ginger and looked around the seaport for Jake. “Jake?!”

  “Jake…that coward…he actually…” Mr. Suit was staring at the surface of the river in shock.

  Zippo let out a cruel laugh, “What an idiot! The jokes on you Mr. Suit. Those chains were not normal chains but indestructible living-metal chains! He’ll never be able to break them! Once he reaches her he’ll realize that horrible truth - that he’ll have to leave her and that he failed to rescue her! And if he realizes this too late he’ll drown too!”

  Ultraviolet rushed to the water’s edge and was about to dive in when Mr. Suit called out to her in warning. “V - no. You’re an android, you can’t get wet.”

  “Fuck…sucks to be me.” Ultraviolet’s hands were shaking as she reached into her cleavage to pull out a cigarette, which she quickly lit and then took a long, frustrated drag.

  Zippo raised an eyebrow at Ultraviolet’s nervous behavior. “She’s funny, for an android. Now, where were we?”

  Mr. Suit pointed his living-metal sword at Zippo and it turned into a wolf claw. “About here, I think.”

  “Oh, right.” Zippo agreed as he turned his sword into smoke.

  [Mr. Suit VS Zippo] Fight!

  Meanwhile, without really thinking about what he was doing, Jake dove into the river after Prism. What the hell am I doing?! What the hell was I thinking? Oh right - I so wasn’t thinking - again. I really have to stop doing that! Ahhh~ it’s dark and scary down here! I can’t see a thing! Shit! But then-

  Suddenly, Jake’s eyes began to glow with a green-tinged light and lit up the space in front of him so that he could see clearly in the water. Jake blinked. Well, that’s convenient. Jake caught sight of the sinking form of Prism ahead of him and kicked his legs as he swam down after her but…

  She was sinking fast because of the chains and the water pressure was putting painful pressure on Jake’s bruised ribs. Ow. Jake felt like he couldn’t hold his breath for much longer.

  Oh my God…what am I doing? I can’t do this! I can’t save her…I’m going to run out of air and die! Shit! I’m no hero! I’m so not cut out for the superhero biz, dude!

  Freaked out and afraid, Jake kicked even harder, wanting to get this nightmare over with and he shot through the water like a bullet! Jake was suddenly at Prism’s side, and he noted that she was unconscious. Jake grasped the chains and began to yank and pull them.

  The chains glowed brightly with a green-tinged light before they began to freak out and spark. The chains broke away and burst apart.

  Yeehaw! Alright! Jake gave himself a mental pat on the back. I did it. Now to get her back to the surface. Jake grabbed Prism and kicked hard. Ahhh! He shot up towards the surface like a dolphin cutting through the water.

  Meanwhile, Mr. Suit was facing off against Zippo.

  The two living-metal samurai charged each other before passing each other. Zippo turned to face Mr. Suit, who sunk to his knees as multiple wounds opened up all over his body.

  Zippo, on the other hand was untouched. Zippo sheathed his sword with one fluid motion, “I’m impressed. You managed to block 6,453 of my nanomachines - it was the other 1,324 that did you in, Mr. Suit. Better luck next time, samurai. Let’s go boys.” Zippo ordered as he stalked over to a black BMW that had been parked nearby and got in the driver’s seat. The other thugs picked up Zak’s body and piled into two other black BMWs swiftly.

  Mr. Suit began to drag his body in Zippo’s direction. “No…wait…come back here Zippo. We’re not done yet…this isn’t done…this isn’t finished…” Mr. Suit coughed up blood onto the ground.

  Zippo poked his head out of the driver’s side window. “Since it would be boring to kill you now, I’m letting you live, Mr. Suit. Try and be more of a challenge for me next time.” With that Zippo stuck his head back into the car and sped off with the other two BMWs following close behind. Zippo’s cars tires screeched and burned against the pavement as he drove off at high speed.

  At that moment, Jake surfaced from the river and immediately began to panic. “Someone help me with Prism! She’s not breathing!”

  “Jake, calm down, you moron. Bring her over here first so that I can help you. You are such a spaz.” Ultraviolet sneered.

  “Oh, yea, right. Sorry.” Jake swam over to the dock and pulled Prism up onto the dock before pulling himself up right behind her. His whole body was trembling.

  Ultraviolet smirked. “You saved her - that was very brave of you, Jake.”

  “Don’t remind me.” Jake shuddered and wrapped his arms around his body. “That was a momentary loss of my sanity! So, Nurse, how is she?”

  Ultraviolet took Prism’s vitals. “She’s not breathing. She needs CPR.”

  “CPR?” Jake’s eyes turned into two pink hearts. “I know how to perform CPR. I believe I can assist you, V. Let me do it.”

  “This isn’t a game, Jake.” Ultraviolet gave Jake a stern look but noticing his puppy-dog look she caved. “Alright fine, I’ll press on her chest and you blow air into her lungs when I say to, got it?”

  “Got it
! Aye aye boss!” Jake gave the android a salute.

  Ultraviolet and Jake began to perform CPR on Prism. After a few minutes that felt like hours, she came too while Jake’s mouth was pressed up against hers and his tongue was in her mouth. Prism’s eyes grew wide and then fierce as she sent a hard slap to Jake’s face.

  Ultraviolet sighed and rubbed at her temples. “Serves him right…pervy samurai cowboy.”