Drowning In Love

by Beth Rinyu

  “You’re welcome, miss, I’m so glad you enjoyed them.”

  “I did, very much, and now I’m going to have sex for the first time in over a year, all because I sat around waiting for some stupid guy who didn’t love me. Do you believe that?”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” The maître d’ said, looking very uncomfortable.

  “Mia-” Keith was pulling on my hand, trying to get me to stop.

  “What! I’m talking to my new friend here.”

  I turned my attention back to the maître d’. “Travis Montgomery, do you know him?”

  “Yes, the Olympic swimmer. Yes, I know who he is.”

  I got close to his ear and whispered, “He’s a bad, bad man.”

  “Mia, come on.” Keith gently wrapped his arm around me as he apologized to the maître d’.

  We got into the taxi and Keith immediately asked for my address. I blurted it out as he repeated to the driver. “Oh, okay, so you’d rather go back to my place. Well, I say ‘fuck it.’ Let’s be adventurous and do it right here.” I moved closer and shoved my tongue down his throat.

  He gently pushed me away. “Mia, believe me, you are a beautiful girl and I’m sure sex with you is amazing, but not in the condition you’re in.”

  “Nobody loves me.” I began to cry. He pulled me to him as I rested my head on his shoulder.

  “Mia, I don’t know what he did to you, but it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. I love him. I waited for him for over a year. Why doesn’t he love me?” He gently rubbed my back as the tears flowed down my face and a huge snot bubble formed in my nose. Thank God I really hadn’t been into this guy.

  The taxi pulled up to my apartment and he walked me inside. He helped me take my coat off and walked me in the bedroom. I lay down on the bed while he took my shoes off. “Just go to bed and sleep it off, Mia. Everything will be better in the morning.”

  Chapter 61

  Mia…

  I rolled over in bed and placed the pillow over my head to ignore my ringing cell phone. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I shouted. My head was pounding, my mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and my body felt like it just wanted to curl up and die. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

  “Mia, wake up!” Juan’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

  My head felt like a lead weight as I tried to lift it from the pillow. Juan walked over to the window and opened the blinds. I quickly hid my eyes back into the pillow. “Close them!” I snapped.

  He quickly abided by my wishes and closed them back up. “What the hell is the matter with you? I just tried calling you to see what kind of bagel that you wanted. They were out of egg, so –”

  I put my hand up for him to stop talking. “Please don’t talk about food.”

  “Are you hung over, Mia? Well, I would ask if you got lucky last night, but since you’re still wearing your jeans, I’m guessing no!”

  I covered my face with my hands and rubbed my eyes. Juan sat down on my bed and took my hand. “Mia, what happened?” I told him what I had learned about Travis last night, trying my best not to cry, but it was useless.

  “Why didn’t he tell me, Juan? I loved him so much. I would have done anything for him. This is such a slap in the face to everything I thought we had.”

  “I don’t know, Mia.” Juan looked at me sympathetically.

  “Why can’t I just get over him? It’s been over a year and I still miss him like crazy.”

  Juan lay down next to me and hugged me until my cries subsided. “Mia, it’s going to be okay. You’ve been through worse than this and you moved on. You of all people should know that this takes time.” He pulled me to him and kissed me on the forehead.

  “Yes, but with Eric it was so final. Travis is still here and I want him to be with him. He just doesn’t want to be with me. I just feel like we never had any closure.” I began to cry again.

  “Mia, you’ve got to pull it together. It’s like these past few years you’ve been in a fog. It lifted for a while when Travis came into your life and now you’ve just fallen deeper into it.”

  I knew he was right. I was a complete mess. I knew more than ever now that I had to get away. As much as I would miss Juan and my life here, I had to start fresh, leaving behind all of the memories this place had held.

  “I know. I’m going to get it together, I promise.”

  He smiled at me and gave me a hug. “Good girl, now go wash your face and come have a bagel.” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek as I slowly got out of bed.

  “Oh and Mia - brush those teeth!” He always managed to make me laugh. I threw the pillow at his head and went into the bathroom to pull it together.

  I headed out into the kitchen. Juan had a steaming hot cup of coffee waiting for me. It was heaven to my eyes. “If only you were straight, we would make the perfect couple.” I giggled.

  “Oh please, girl, if I were straight, we wouldn’t get along this well. We would be fighting with the same set of problems most couples have.”

  “True.” I sighed.

  I grabbed my laptop from the counter and opened it.

  “What are you doing?” Juan asked.

  “Freeing myself from my ghost.” I had been a social media and news outcast since Travis had left. I didn’t want to know anything that was going on his life. Since I was going to start over, I felt that it was important for me face my past so I could move onto the future. I typed his name into the search bar. The butterflies began to flap around when I saw his name appearing on all of the different websites. Juan moved his chair around so he could look with me. I clicked on the first website. It was a video of a press conference with the various newscasters regarding his rehabilitation. I looked at the date; it was from September, one month ago.

  I hit the arrow, feeling a wave of nausea as I waited for it to finish buffering. Juan took my hand, seemingly sensing my nervousness. The video began to play, starting somewhere in the middle. I felt the tears building up at the sight of him, looking exactly the same as when I last saw him.

  “Mr. Montgomery, do you think you will compete again?” one of the reporters asked.

  “I’m hoping that maybe…..” I wasn’t even comprehending his words. All I could focus on was the sound of his voice. I missed it so much, telling me he loved me, whispering in my ear. I bit my lip and continued to watch.

  “Mr. Montgomery, I’m going to ask the question that the entire female population wants to know. Is there someone special holding the key to your heart?” one of the female reporters asked.

  “Yes, there is.” Hit in the face like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I quickly closed my laptop and pushed it away. Thank God, Juan was there to grab it or it would have been in a million pieces all over my kitchen. I took a deep breath, wishing I had never watched it.

  Juan took my hand. “Mia, that right there, is your closure, baby cakes.”

  I nodded as I wiped away a tear. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Travis had clearly moved on; now it was my turn to do the same.

  ***

  I called my mother later that afternoon and told her everything. I had made the decision to move back home and be closer to my family. I had a few job prospects already. I knew that I wouldn’t be making nearly as much money as I was making now, but since the rent on an apartment would be half the price, it kind of equaled itself out. I looked around my tiny little apartment, thinking about how much I was going to miss it. I had happy memories here of me and Eric. If only he weren’t taken away from me, my life would be happy right now. I would have been protected from the constant pain that came along with knowing Travis. I pulled out my laptop and began to type out an email to my landlord. Subject: Termination of Lease. Yes, it was finally time for me to break free from my self-pity mode and move forward, even though I didn’t know exactly what I was headed for; I knew that it could only get better.

  Chapter 62

  Mia…

  Acc
ording to my lease agreement, I had to give two months’ notice before I could vacate and get my security deposit back. I had gotten a job at a salon close by my mother’s and sister’s houses and would be starting there as soon as I moved back. With less than one month to go, I was becoming very anxious. I had signed a lease on an adorable apartment that was three times the size of the one that I had now and one-third of the price. Yes, I was finally starting to get excited over something. Ever since I had half watched that video of Travis, he seemed to be popping up all over my TV. The newscasters would gush over his recovery and his potential comeback into the Olympics, making me want to throw my remote right at my television. The final straw was when I had caught a glimpse of him with a woman on the entertainment channel, making me actually throw the remote. Instead of hitting the TV, it broke my little owl statue that Eric had given me for my sixteenth birthday. I carefully glued it back together and proudly displayed it once again, even with the crack running down his little nose.

  It was a crazy Tuesday, one week before Thanksgiving and the holiday madness was just beginning. Mrs. Montgomery was my first client of the day. I hadn’t broken the news to her yet that I was leaving and that she would have to find a new hairdresser. I knew that I should probably tell her soon, so she could start shopping around for a new one.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Montgomery,” I said with a smile.

  “Good morning, Mia dear.”

  I was amazed with the rapport that I had with her; it was if I had never known her grandson at all. We never mentioned his name.

  “How are things with you, dear?”

  “Very well. I… um, have some news that I wanted to share with you.”

  “What’s that, dear?”

  “My last day at the salon will be December sixteenth. I’m moving back home.”

  “Oh.” She looked at me sadly.

  “It’s going to be a good thing for me,” I reassured her.

  She smiled and nodded as if she didn’t really believe me.

  “So we’re just doing your color today, right?” I said, quickly changing the subject.

  She nodded.

  “Okay, let me go mix that and I’ll be right back.”

  I walked into the back to prepare the color. Juan was downing one last sip of his coffee.

  “Did you tell the Ice Queen that you aren’t going to be her personal stylist anymore?”

  “Yes, I did and will you please stop referring to her as that. She’s really a nice lady.”

  “Well, whatever. I don’t know how you can even want to still do her hair after everything her grandson put you through.”

  “She has nothing to do with Travis’ actions.”

  “Oh, Mia, if everyone could be as loving and forgiving as you, the world would be a much happier place.”

  I smiled. “Just remember that the next time you call me a bitch!”

  “What am I going to do without you, baby cakes?”

  “You won’t be without me. I’ll be taking up residency in your spare bedroom a lot, when I need to get my city fix.”

  “It’s yours! Let’s go pick out a comforter set and curtains,” he joked. “Seriously, Mia, you know that you will always have a place to stay and a job, if you ever decide to come back.”

  “I know.” I began to feel myself tearing up. “You’ll always be my best bud.”

  “That’s right and don’t you ever forget that; especially when some other wannabe queen tries to steal you away from that Dolly Parton Steel Magnolia’s salon that you’re going to be working at.”

  “You are too much!” I shook my head and laughed as I walked back out to Mrs. Montgomery, who was just finishing up a conversation with my assistant Abby.

  “Yes, my grandson is coming home for the first time in over a year. I’m very excited.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and gripped the bowl of color tightly in my shaking hand. Abby must have seen the look on my face at the mention or indirect mention of his name. She hurried up and took the color from me and placed it at my station. I tried to pull it together and not appear how I was actually feeling – flustered. Mia, stop it! It’s over and you shouldn’t be acting this way. I pulled it together as best as I could and applied her color. I was so happy when I finished up with her. I wanted to grill Abby on the information that Mrs. Montgomery had shared with her.

  I waited patiently for Abby to finish up with rinsing out a client. I took her hand and pulled her into the break room. “What did Mrs. Montgomery say about Travis?”

  “Mia!” Juan shouted, startling me as he walked in the room.

  “What!”

  “Why the hell do you even care what she has to say about him? Remember your closure?”

  “Yes, I know, but I’m just curious.”

  Juan looked at me and shook his head in disapproval. “Okay, Abby, what did –”

  “Don’t tell her, Abby.” Juan demanded.

  “Will you just shut up? Don’t you have someone else that you can be harassing?”

  “Mia, I’m not going to be an enabler and let you listen to anything about him.”

  “Good, then leave and you won’t have to hear what she says and then you won’t be an enabler.” I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “Suit yourself,” he said as he exited the room.

  I waved my hand at Juan, dismissing anything he had to say. I listened closely as Abby began to speak. “She just said that he’s coming back.”

  “She didn’t say when or for how long?”

  “She said he was coming back in a few weeks. I think she was going to say more and then you came walking out.”

  “Darn!”

  “Abby, can you go rinse out Tammy?” Juan interrupted.

  “Yeah, no problem.” Abby left the room as Juan stood there staring at me.

  “What!”

  “Mia, watching that video did nothing for you; you’re still not over him, are you?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  He looked at me and smiled as if he didn’t believe me.

  “You know, he’s probably bringing his new girlfriend home to meet his parents. I wonder if he tells her that she means the world to him and that he loves her more than anything….” I was rambling on while Juan just shook his head and laughed at me.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Yeah, you are so over him,” Juan said as he rolled his eyes.

  Okay, maybe he was right. Maybe I wasn’t over Travis. I didn’t think that I would ever be. Travis Montgomery had a hold on me and even though he had moved on, my feelings for him were just as strong as they had been when I had first met him.

  Chapter 63

  Travis….

  I was excited and at the same time nervous to be returning back to New York. Los Angeles was great, but it wasn’t home. I felt as if I was finally able to return and live my life the way that I had always intended, minus the one person that I wanted to live that life with most. I had a lot of exciting things on the horizon, with a ton of meetings scheduled as soon as I got back to New York. First of which was meeting with Carol Reicher, a commercial real estate agent at one of the top agencies in the city. I knew now more than ever, after everything I had been through, that this swim school for handicapped children was a venture that I was made to take on. I was really excited to be finally getting it underway after all these years. I only wished that the one person who had been so supportive and cheering me on to do it could be by my side to see it happen. I was still considering competing for a shot in the next Olympics, even though the media already had me in it and taking home every medal possible, I was still a little unsure. I had planned on putting any more Olympic aspirations behind me once I met Mia. I had wanted to focus on other things, mainly being her husband and having a family together. But now since that was out of the question, the Olympics just might be a nice distraction. I concentrated on the luggage spinning around on the conveyer belt. It had only been seventeen months and twelve days since I told her goodbye
. So much had happened in that short time, but one thing would remain the same no matter what - she would always have the biggest piece of my heart.

  I finally grabbed my bag and stepped out of the airport. The cold December air hit me in the face, making me realize the stark difference in temperature between New York and L.A. My flight had been delayed and it was well after midnight when the taxi finally pulled up to my apartment building. I was greeted immediately by Charlie, my doorman. “Travis, welcome home!” His smile was a mile wide as he extended his hand to me.

  I walked into my apartment for the very first time in over a year. I looked around and was filled with memories. Memories of the time spent here with Mia. I walked into my bedroom and stared at the picture of the two of us on my dresser. I needed to get her out of my head, but I just didn’t know how. I thought about her every single minute that I was away, but being in this place that held so many memories of the two of us was even harder to bear. I could still see her lying in my bed. I could still hear her contagious laugh and I could still feel her tender touch. I put the picture down and I couldn't help but notice the little black box sitting on my dresser. My stomach clenched when I opened it up; it was a painful reminder of what should have been. I placed it back down, almost missing the envelope with my name on it that was sitting right beside it. It was no doubt Mia's handwriting. I took a deep breath as I opened it up

  Dear Travis:

  It’s only been two weeks since you left, but it feels like eternity. It would have always been yes and it always will be. I told you that I would love you forever and I meant it.

  Yours always ~

  Mia

  "Forever was too long, baby," I whispered to myself. I read the piece of paper over and over again, wishing that it wasn't too late, wishing that things were different between us. Most of all, wishing that Mia were mine again.