by Beth Mikell
God, I had missed him.
Blood roared in my ears, my heart pounding hard. My vision swam, making me feel light headed. How could he still make me feel this way? Like my old self again. Damn it, I was unable to separate my desire from reality.
Only he could do this to me… only Rhys.
My gaze searched the bar. How much had he seen? Had he heard my song? Worry nettled my insides. Frankly, some things couldn’t be placed into words.
And what about Erin? I’d never told him about her. I knew he deserved to know, but would he accept my answer?
Another emotion stirred the flames inside me.
Anger.
I met his gaze again, my eyes narrowing. A deep fury burned away all my desire, leaving me fuming. Why was he here? He had his life… his wife… and everything he ever wanted.
He spoke before I could.
“Do you know how long I’ve looked for you?” He took a step closer, shaking his head. “Why didn’t you tell me,” he said, his voice low and pain filled.
I stiffened. He must know the truth I had desperately tried to conceal. I knew I’d have to speak to him. To resolve this once and for all. Besides, I didn’t think he’d leave, so I made a polite offer, “Why don’t you have a seat while I lock up.”
CHAPTER 6 - Present
My mind raced, jumping from one thought to another. The pressure in my chest doubled too, making me feel light headed and nauseous. I rubbed the spot, hoping to smooth away the dark feeling.
The most critical issues were… how much did Rhys know? Was he here to take Erin away from me? I couldn’t lose her. It would break me.
With slow steps, I made my way over to the booth Rhys currently occupied. Our eyes met. Swirling emotions, I couldn’t name, crossed his face.
Was he disappointed? Hopeful?
I sat across from him, needing some distance the table gave me. Keeping my gaze locked on the napkin dispenser, I gripped my hands tightly in my lap. I was afraid of what I’d see in his eyes. “Why are you here?”
“Look at me, please,” he said in a gruff tone.
The emotion in his voice was my undoing, and tears swam in my eyes. “I can’t,” I whispered, fighting my heart and my mind. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and never let go, yet I was afraid. Five years stood between us. A daughter he’d never met. And his wife that I couldn’t accept.
“Please, baby.”
I lifted my gaze to his. “I don’t know what to say or…” I trailed off. Each breath hurt. Each exhale was another sadness that filled the universe. The pieces of my broken heart trembled, wanting to smash back together, yet hesitant at the same time. This nightmare like sensation had to end or I’d fall apart, and I didn’t have the luxury of snapping under the pressure. I had to think of Erin. “Why are you here?”
“I’ve been searching for you for five years. Why did you leave? Why didn’t you talk to me? I thought we were friends. I thought we shared something special.”
Anger jerked my posture straight, and I slammed my hands down the table. “Why are you questioning my choices when you made yours crystal-fucking-clear? You got married. How was I to matter when you had a new life to lead?”
His gaze hardened and his mouth drew into a fierce line. He shook his head. “I don’t know where you got your information, but I’m not married.” He threaded a hand through his hair, similar to times past. “The time we spent together was the most incredible of my life. Christ, Beretta, don’t you know how much I love you?”
He grabbed both of my hands, squeezing. Warm pleasure shot through my veins.
“No other woman could ever give me a tenth of the happiness you gave me,” he said softly.
Not married?
Loves me?
My brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? You can’t possibly love me. I saw your marriage announcement.”
He cocked his head. “What exactly did you see?”
“I…” I struggled for words, my heart hammering faster in my chest. Even now, I didn’t know, but I remember seeing the paper. Ashely’s last name was Milton. Granted, I didn’t read the details, but I saw the Milton-Lennox announcement, along with a grainy photo. But I doubted myself. What the hell had I seen?
“She married my brother,” he said finally. “The ink wasn’t dry five minutes on Kellan’s divorce, and he married Ashley.”
Kellan and Ashley?
“But, I…” I was losing my mind. I’d never once considered that I’d made a mistake. I rubbed my temple, feeling confused and wronged. I’d jumped to a devastating conclusion. I’d run away, leaving the man I loved alone for five years. I had his baby, thinking he’d moved on. “Rhys, I—”
“Wait.” His eyebrows snapped together. “Do you smell smoke?”
I sniffed the air.
Yes, indeed.
I shot out of the booth. “Erin!”
Rhys grabbed my shoulders, his eyes connecting with mine. “Where is she?”
“Upstairs with a babysitter.”
Just then the fire alarm went off and the sprinklers flashed on.
“I’ll go get her,” I said, trying to pull away from him.
He shook his head. “I’m coming with you. I lost you once, and I don’t plan on making the same mistake again.”
There was no time to argue. “Follow me,” I urged.
As water sprayed down, I rushed to the back of Muze. The entrance to my apartment was through the kitchen. I flung open the swinging door, only to stop.
Several things happened at once.
Smoke poured out of the kitchen. I coughed, fanning the space in front of my eyes, yet I saw enough skin and heard enough shouts to understand what had happened within two seconds.
A sex act gone awry.
Riven zipped up his fly as Maggie, one of my barmaids, righted her clothes, while her bag lay sizzling on the stove. Rhys rushed passed me, taking care of the fire. Then the fire department came, and Lisa arrived, holding Erin.
CHAPTER 7 - Past
Weeks after Rhys gave me his apartment keys, I settled into a routine. I’d do some light house cleaning, cook him a meal, and run any errands he gave me for the day. He paid me five hundred a week.
The extra money was welcome too. I was able to pay off a few credit card debts and buy a new pair of jeans without feeling guilty. Another bonus? My savings account actually had money in it. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t worried about making rent or buying a coffee at the gas station.
I rarely saw Rhys’ brother, but Kellan had been polite when we ran into each other. Never once did he try anything. Maybe I was too scary looking with my sleeve length tattoo and bluish hair. But that was fine. I didn’t need that headache.
As I placed the finishing touches on a small pan of homemade enchiladas for Rhys, my phone chimed in my back pocket. I slipped my device out, checking the latest. The message was from Ashley.
Can I borrow your red, sexy heels? Wanna dance my ass off later. CU after work ;-)
My sexy red heels were not mine, but had belonged to my mother. One of the few items I’d inherited after her death. Stripper heels. I never wore them, but Ashley borrowed them from time to time.
I glanced at my watch. I groaned. I only had an hour and a half to finish up Rhys’ dinner and head to my bartending job. I lived across town, and I doubted I’d have time to get the shoes without being late. God, sometimes Ashley bothered me to no end. Immediately, I regretted my thought. Maybe I was a bad friend, but there was no way I could help her out today.
As I hit the reply button, Kellan’s cat, Cupcake, jumped on the counter, startling me. I almost dropped my phone. “Hey, Spawn.”
The cat hissed. Big surprise there. I made a kissy sound, and she hissed again. Devil cat.
Nothing against cats, but I wasn’t a fan of this particular feline. She often hissed at me. Cupcake and I hadn’t bonded, but probably because I called her ‘Spawn.’ Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on the furry brat.
“Hey.”
I looked up to find Rhys standing beside the dining room table. He snuck in without me hearing him. How’d I miss that? For someone looking tired after a hard day at the office, he sure appeared sexy. His hair had that usual mussed look, and his tie was askew at his neck. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and kiss his tiredness away. The man gave me a severe case of lady blue balls.
Flushing at my thought, I forced a smile. “Hi. I didn’t hear you come in.”
He stowed his briefcase at the end of the breakfast bar. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said, the corners of his lips tilting.
Keep busy. Keep busy. Don’t think about how cute and endearing he looks.
I grabbed the pan of enchiladas, and slipped it into the oven. “Your dinner will be ready in about twenty-five minutes.” I turned around and found him right beside me. “Oh. Sorry.”
His eyes darkened, and his serious expression gave nothing away. “I wanted to thank you for everything, especially for cooking. I really appreciate it.”
Say something clever.
“No problem.” I wasn’t gifted with sophisticated comebacks.
“Have dinner with me.”
I wanted to say yes, but then I remembered Ashley’s text. “I can’t,” I said, stepping away from him. I hated to put distance between us, but I couldn’t be too close to him. “Which reminds me, I need to make another stop before my shift at the bar.” As I texted Ashley a quick ‘Sure thing’ message, I glanced back at Rhys. He stood silently watching me. I swallowed hard. “Why don’t you get washed up, and I’ll set up your meal.”
He studied me a few moments longer, then nodded. “Did you pick up any more beer?”
“Yes,” I said, thinking about how much we sounded like an old married couple. “I even picked up the beer nuts that you like so much.” I moved toward the refrigerator, and so did Rhys.
As we collided, his arm banded around my waist. All the air swooshed out of my lungs. I swear to God, he squeezed me close. I didn’t imagine every bit of his hard body pressed tight into me, or the feel of his hard length against my belly. My female desire made me tingle all over.
Then he let me go.
“I’ll take a shower first,” he whispered.
Before I could say a word or scrape my tongue off the roof of my mouth, he was gone.
What just happened?
*****
I checked my watch again. I only had about forty-five minutes to swing by my apartment and make it to work. “Rhys? Dinner is ready.”
No response.
Frowning, I headed out of the kitchen. I smacked into something warm and solid.
Instant tingles networked my skin. My lungs worked harder to push the air in and out, nearly incapacitating me. My palms sweated buckets; my upper lip beaded with perspiration. Before my brain registered shock, my hands were sliding over wet, freshly showered skin, pulling him closer.
God, he smelled so good. I think my tongue slipped out my lips and I tasted him.
Shit, shit, shit! I just licked him. I swear I couldn’t help myself. Wasn’t this the natural response for most women who ended up in the arms of their deepest man-crush? I mentally shrugged. I didn’t think so either.
I am crazy.
I did what any woman would do—I pushed out of his arms. “Jesus H. Christ, Rhys! What the heck, dude?” Maybe insulting him and the Man upstairs would reset my boundaries.
He had the audacity to grin. “Did you just lick me?”
He knew.
I raised my chin, glaring. “In your dreams, buddy.”
Still grinning, he said, “I have awesome dreams.”
Rhys leaned against the wall, looking all fresh and firm. His skin glistened with beads of water, and his washboard stomach was sculpted ridges of beauty.
I would not look down. I would not look down.
I looked down. A towel was firmly tucked around his lean hips. If I tugged it loose, I’m sure I’d receive an early Christmas present. I wasn’t into porn, but I wanted to climb the pony and scream like a three-dollar hooker. My rational mind tried to cut in and remind me of propriety, but at this point, I couldn’t do much but melt.
I rolled my eyes, spinning around. “I gotta split, but I wanted to let you know dinner is ready,” I said over my shoulder. “I have to make a quick stop for Ashley.”
I had to get out of here. Rhys in a towel wasn’t an image I could forget. Being this close to his half-naked body sent me into a hormonal spin cycle. I was so angry at myself, Ashley, and Rhys, I could spit nails. I grabbed my purse and jacket, then turned his direction. He had followed me, and sexy and dangerous stood too close for comfort.
“Why are you so jittery?” he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not,” I lied in an indignant tone. “I just have to leave.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not letting you go until you tell me why you get so testy every time we’re alone.”
“Jesus, man,” I huffed, glancing at my watch. “Crap, now I’m going to be late. Cut me a break. I need to go.”
His eyes narrowed. “Have you ever questioned why Ashley uses you as a gofer?” he asked, as if I hadn’t mentioned that I needed to go. “I never see her helping you out.”
My mouth dropped open. How could he say that about his significant other? “She’s busy with college, and I’m just a barmaid. I have a little more time on my hands.”
He shook his head. “Nope, that’s not it. Try again.”
A strange feeling netted over my skin, unsure where this conversation was headed. As I stared up into his incredible green eyes and basked in the heat of his expression, I was unable to move. I had to offset this conversation and escape before I said or did something inappropriate.
“See ya later, Rhys.”
“You can run, Beretta,” he murmured softly. “But you can’t hide.”
I should have let that comment roll off my back and kept going, but no. I had to confront him. I whirled around. “What the hell does that mean? Why are you saying things like this? Wearing only a towel? Invading my space with whispers? What are you trying to do? You are Ashley’s boyfriend. I’m not going to do anything to fuck up my friend’s happiness.”
He shook his head. “Not true. Ashley can manage her own fuck ups, and quite successfully, I might add.”
CHAPTER 8 - Past
My brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
He sighed, pushing a hand through his damp hair. “It means I can’t put up with Ashley’s bullshit anymore. I’m done. I gave her time to lock down her commitment to me, but she hasn’t changed. She’s still the party girl—still the drama queen.”
His words startled me. I was under the impression he and Ashley were a solid couple. I gave him a confused look. “I don’t understand. She told me she was happy.”
“Recently? Happiness is a relative term in Ashley’s world.” He grunted, casting me a dark glower. “Did she mention she was screwing someone else?”
My mouth sagged open, but before I could say anything, Rhys kept going, “Look, I know this may come as a shock to you, but she isn’t the girl you grew up with. She’s changed. I found used condoms on her bedroom floor. When I confronted her, she said she let a friend borrow her place. I don’t believe her anymore.”
His words were a blow, devastating me. If I searched my recent experiences, I knew there was something not right with Ashley. She was too wrapped up in her party life.
“Did you break up with her?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, moving closer. “Three weeks ago.”
My whole body tightened. That would make it around the time he’d stopped by Ashley’s apartment after her party. Why hadn’t my so-called best friend said anything? Wasn’t she upset?
“I want you to think about something as you’re running errands for your friend that isn’t interested in anything but what you can give her,” he whispered.
“What is that?” I inwardly wince
d at the amount of desire threading my voice. He was too close, and he just told me he was free. His hand came up and caressed through my hair. Lightning fire burst in my belly.
“I picked the wrong girl,” he rasped.
He yanked me close and sought my lips. It was raw, silky, and hot. The man knew how to kiss and wasn’t ashamed to show me. A deep moan shook my throat, and my hands curled against the smooth warmth of his naked chest. My tongue gave chase, darting across his. His scent drove me crazy, causing me to inhale him down as fast as my lungs would allow. I pressed my body as close as I could.
I pushed against him, and whispered against his mouth, “Stop.”
He smiled against my lips. “I knew you’d taste incredible.”
I had to get out of here. “I have to go.” There was no part of this that would end with a happy conclusion. He may have broken up with Ashley, but she was still my friend. I couldn’t jump Rhys simply because my lady parts wanted him. I had to respect the ‘ex’ boundaries.
I stepped away from him, turning toward the door. All this time, I’d drowned in lust for this man, and he was more or less handing me a green light. But I couldn’t accept.
“Beretta.”
I glanced at him. “I can’t do this. Please understand.” I shook my head. “No matter what Ashley has done, you’re still off limits.”
He took a step toward me, his hand circling my wrist. “You don’t owe her anything. It’s over between us.”
He caressed his fingers against my skin. Tingles netted over my flesh. “You can’t just throw this at me and expect me to leap on you. Good-bye, Rhys.” I slid my wrist away, suddenly feeling chilled to my bones.
I missed his skin-to-skin contact.
“This isn’t over,” he promised. “We need to talk. I won’t let you slip away.”
But I didn’t give him any encouragement. I kept walking. Everything I’d wanted—he had offered. Regardless of Ashley’s wild behavior, I owed her the respect of friendship.