Becoming His

by Albany Walker

  I hear Sniffer say, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone lasting a week after their first shift.” I can hear the wonder in his voice.

  Masen jumps to his feet leaning over me he says, “don’t even think about it.” It comes out in deadly sneer. “She is MINE!” He barks.

  Astonished by the way he’s speaking to him and not wanting to set him off more, I slowly lift my hand to his chest right over his rapidly beating heart and rub. “Hey, Big Guy, it’s okay. He didn’t mean anything. Right, Sniffer?”

  The reminder of the nickname makes Masen snarl. “Right, nothing Mase, I meant nothing; I think nothing,” Sniffer says quickly, his voice is a little high.

  “I didn’t realize it was a big deal. That’s on me.” I announce pleadingly. “Sit down here, Masen. This couch is kinda lumpy. I need a more comfy place to sit.” I tug his shirt, and he slowly sits, his breathing still choppy. I scoot on his lap as lady like as possible without standing or taking my hands off him. “That’s much better,” I coo once I’m seated in his lap to comfort him or hold him down at least whichever works better. I place my hands on his cheeks directing his face to mine. He’s still pissed.

  The silence behind me is grim. “Hey Masen, you want me to make you some cookies? How about some of those white chocolate ones you like so much? I could even put some raspberries in. How does that sound?” His hard body relaxes as I speak to him. His eyes slowly return to his beautiful white blue color. “How about I make as quick dinner? Then, you can help me make the cookies. We could even go for a run tonight. My wolf’s excited to meet her Mate.”

  His chest rumbles in agreement. Finally, Masen’s breathing is back to normal. His face drops to my neck; his nose pushes aside the cropped cardigan I put on over my dress finding his mark. He nuzzles me. When he finally lifts his face and really looks at me, I know everything is fine. I smile sweetly at him and say, “you, your brother, and friends can finish your chat. I’ll go start dinner.” I kiss his lips and stand. When I turn around, all three of the other men are staring at the floor.

  No one speaks until I’m out of the room. I hear Masen’s deep, commanding voice, but I don’t stay and listen to what he’s saying. In the kitchen, I brown up some Italian sausage and hamburger for a quick marinara. I’m not sure who will be eating so I boil two pounds of pasta and grill some garlic bread while I wait for everything to finish.

  Walking back into the living room, I can tell the tension has eased. That is until the room falls silent when I enter. I inwardly roll my eyes. “Why don’t y’all come on in here and eat.” I prompt, then go back in the kitchen.

  Masen is first to follow. He kisses my temple tenderly and reaches to grab a bowl. I swat his hand away. “Uh uh, I’ll fix it. Go sit down. Guys grab a bowl and help yourselves. I’ll put the bread on the table.” I can feel Masen’s joy that I’m serving his but making the others get their own. It’s amazing to immediately feel his gratitude for something so simple. It makes me feel appreciated.

  Placing his full bowl in front of him with a plate of bread, I kiss him a little deeper than is probably polite in front of company. He doesn’t complain. I make my own bowl and join them at the table. There isn’t much conversation; everyone’s busy stuffing their face.

  When every morsel is polished off, I get a chorus of thank you. “Sophie, that was so good, thank you. I’m gonna have to send Red over here for lessons. I love her, I do, but that woman can’t cook to save her life,” he laughs kindly.

  “I’ll just come over every night for dinner. I’d probably waste away other wise,” Sniffers says in mock serious tone.

  James just utters a quiet, sincere, “thank you.” I think he was most affected by Masen’s earlier outburst.

  Masen’s face is proud. “I’m gonna get fat! My baby can cook.” He says it like it’s the best thing that could ever happens.

  I tut. “Like you could ever get fat!” I roll my eyes. “Y’all are welcome; come back anytime. I do love to cook. Sid, I’d love to meet your Red. I’ve just met Nicole, Michael’s Mate. I visited with her the other day. She is just beautiful. I can’t wait to meet more people from the pack.”

  They all say goodnight and leave for their homes while Masen and I clean up the dishes. He works quietly beside me always finding a reason to touch me. I don’t mind; it’s comforting. Being able to sense his feelings behind each gesture is astounding.

  I make his cookies while he mostly watches. He eats a few right off the baking sheet. The rest I leave out to cool while the last batch bakes.

  Getting ready for bed, I brush my teeth, wash my face, then lotion my body. I’m wearing just my panties when Masen comes in to brush his teeth. His gaze heats as he watches me through the mirror, but he seem content to just look. I finish up and climb in bed while he’s still in the bathroom. He comes in the room, turns out the lights, and gets in bed next to me. His big body behind mine; he pulls me tight to him. “I love you, Sophia,” he says in the darkness.

  “I love you, too, Masen.”

  Waking up, I feel the solid wall that is Masen behind me. He’s on his back; my head pillowed on his shoulder. His arm curls up and around me; his fingers barely touch my short triangle of pubic hair. I slowly move on to my back and stretch. My pointed toes reach just below his knees. Distantly, I hear a phone ringing. Is that what woke me? I know it’s not mine, anyone who has my number knows I’m here. A few moments later, it rings again. Thinking it must be important for them to have called right back, I slide out of bed trying desperately not to wake Masen.

  I grab the white tee shirt he wore last night and rush from the room while struggling to get the shirt over my head. I follow the ringing to the kitchen. Masen must have set his phone down last night before we went to bed. The screen goes dark just as I reach to answer it. Only to start ringing again, immediately. The name displayed is Roxanne. What the hell! I pick up the phone and swipe the green icon. “Hello,” I say incredulous.

  “Mase, oh Mase,” she howls. She doesn’t even realize I’ve picked up the phone.

  “No, this isn’t Masen. He’s indisposed,” I say, smug to use her words against her.

  “You!” She sneers, “put him on the phone. I know what you’re trying to do. I know Mase practically attacked Cass last night because you’re still fucking him.”

  First, who the hell told her about Masen getting mad, and second, why the hell does she think I’m having sex with Sniffer? “Um no! Are you crazy? Who told you that junk? Why are you even calling anyway?”

  “Masen needs me. You’re trying to ruin him, turning him against his family, his pack,” she screeches.

  “Not even close! But you know what? I’m not doing this with you. You want to talk to Masen? I’ll have him call you as soon as he wakes up. He can tell you for the third time it’s over between you two, has been for years. Don’t call back unless there is some sort of real emergency.”

  “Over between us?” She cackles, “he’s never said it’s over between us. It never will be. He loves me. He just told me so, yesterday. He’s just trying to find a way to get rid of you. You think you can satisfy him little girl? He’s a man, an Alpha. You will never be enough for him! He’ll be begging me to fuck him like a woman. He already has,” she spits.

  She’s talking crazy. She has to be, right? Pain still lashes my heart from her words. “He seemed quite happy eating my pussy last night, repeatedly. Just couldn’t get enough of this little girl.” I flount.

  “Now, I know that’s a lie. Mase doesn’t...”

  Before she can spew more venom, I hang up. I stare at the now black screen of the phone still in my hand. She was lying; she’s just trying to hurt me. My belly hollows. I can check his phone. I shouldn’t need to, or even want to, but her words burn like acid in my veins, making me doubt him.

  My mind starts working on overdrive, analyzing our interactions. Masen seems genuine when we’re together. I was the one who Marked him first though. Maybe he reacted on instinct when I bi
t him; he bit me back. We haven’t talked about a Mating ceremony to complete or union. He did say we would, but last night, we got distracted. Still, the insidious thoughts invade. Maybe he wants to keep her; hell, maybe he wants us both. I know he’s not faking the desire he feels for me. Will his phone tell me anything? I can check his texts, voicemail; I can even check his call logs. Do I want to do this?

  I push the button on the bottom activating the screen. I tap the text message icon first and see the last open chat is with Michael from yesterday around noon. I don’t read very far, just enough to see it’s nothing involving me or Roxanne. Hitting the back key to see all his text conversations, I see a few names I don’t recognize and a few I do know: Sniffer, Sid, Nicole. I’m hoping that’s Michael’s Nicole. Right under Michael’s name, I see Roxanne.

  I’m terrified to open it, but I do. The last message is from yesterday. It’s from Masen to her.

  *can’t talk now*

  Running my finger up the screen to see the previous message, I see what she sent.

  *I miss you, can I see you later <3*

  I don’t read any more. I think I might throw up. What the hell is going on? Does he know I was trying to reach him yesterday, and she wouldn’t let me through? Why the hell does she still work as his assistant if there nothing going on with them. He has to know how much I despise her; she’s still in love with him.

  I hear Masen call my name. His voice is thick from sleep. I hear his footsteps as he nears the kitchen. His hand covers his bare washboard stomach when he walks through the entryway. The sweatpants he wears hang low on his hips. His face is pinched, lips in a thin line as he approaches me. “Are you feeling okay?” He asks, concern clear in his voice.

  Schooling my features, I pull my emotions in. He must be sensing my troubling thoughts, feeling the hollow ache radiating from my belly to my chest. I give him a small smile and nod my head. “I’m fine, just a little nerves from yesterday.” Why Am I lying? Why not confront him right now? I’m a coward, sure that’s part of it, but I also want the truth once and for all. I’ve trusted him twice without all the answers. That ends now. I just need a few minutes to fortify my resolve and decide how to handle this like an adult without killing both of them.

  He still looking at me funny. I don’t think I’m doing a very good job masking my emotions. “Where’d you go, Little One? Didn’t you hear me calling you?” My heart melts at his term of endearment. Could he really still be seeing her or leading her on? “What’s wrong, Baby?”

  He’s right next to me. I want him to hold me; I want everything she said to be a lie. My hands tremble. My bottom lip quivers, but I smile to hide it. “Just feeling a little off, I guess” I shrug and look at his chest then up to his shadowed jaw. The distress coming from his white blue eyes makes me question why I would let her make me feel like this. It’s exactly what she wants.

  I wrap my arms around his bare chest. “I’m lying,” I confess. I blow out a deep breath.

  Masen picks me up like a baby and carries me back to the bedroom. “I know you’re lying, Little One. I just don’t know what about or why.” His voice is soft. Would he be so sweet if he knew I just went through his phone violating his privacy? I contemplate how to get through this without tears or hysterics. “Please tell me what’s wrong?” He sits down but keeps me in his lap.

  My fingers toy with the hem of my borrowed shirt. “Your phone was ringing this morning. I’m not sure if it woke me, or I woke then heard it. It just kept ringing and ringing so I assumed it was important. I wanted you to be able to sleep so I went to answer it.” He hasn’t spoken a word. He doesn’t seem nervous; he does seem worried for me. He strokes my arms and back as I continue speaking, “it was Roxanne.” There’s no change in his body; no tensing, no sudden intakes of breath. He doesn’t seem guilty.

  “Did she say why she was calling? is there a problem?” He asks, seeming confused.

  “Did you know I talked to her yesterday? That when I lost my phone I had no way to get ahold of anyone so I called information. They gave me your residence and Black industries. When I got the receptionist, she wouldn’t give me your cell or patch me through to you, only your assistant.” He stills. Now his large hand frozen over my wrist where he was soothingly stroking my pulse point. “She said you couldn’t come to the phone, that you were indisposed. She was giggling and playing grab ass with someone in the background,” I shake my head in disbelief, “She knew who I was and wouldn’t let me talk to you, wouldn’t give me your direct numbers. I was so upset, still scared from that jerk grabbing me, and she just kept talking all professional, pretending to be nice when she was really being nasty. She said if this call is of a personal nature Mr.Black gives his number to those he wants to have it,” I sneer copying her words and tone.

  “What did she say this morning, Little One? He asks, his voice calm, but he sounds angry.

  I huff. He just expects me to answer him. “She was frantic, repeating you name. I told her you were indisposed,” I admit sheepishly. Rushing on, I say, “she yelled at me for you fighting with Sniffer last night. She accused me of a few things. She was angry.”

  He interrupts me, asking grimly, “What things?”

  My fingers pick at my peeling nail polish. “She said I was ruining you, that I was turning you against your family, your pack and...and,” I stammer.

  “And?” he prompts. My head is tucked under Masen’s chin. I listen to the strong steady beat of his heart. His body wrapped around mine feels comforting. I feel protected which is ridiculous considering he has the power to hurt me the most.

  No matter what, I know it will bother him to hear what she said about me and Sniffer, but that’s not the only reason I fumble. I don’t want to hear he still loves her or still wants her. You never realize how much you need something until it’s threatened. I lost Masen once, before I even knew him. I’m terrified to lose him now. I crave Masen with an unparalleled zeal. Though losing him would be my only option, I can’t share him.

  “Sophia!” I jump from the harshness in his tone. My head slams into his chin causing his teeth to crack together.

  “Ouch Masen, I’m sorry.” I apologize instinctually.

  I hear his hand run across the stubble on his chin. “I’m the one who startled you. I’m sorry, Little One. Tell me what she said.” His fingers caress my head where I knocked into him, massaging my scalp.

  I blow a deep breath and tell him. “She said you almost attacked Sniffer because I was still having sex with him. Well, she said I was fucking him. I mean how did show even know you were mad last night?” I ask incredulous. Masen stops breathing. His hand on my arm clinches. I can feel his anger through our bond. “Masen?” I question. “Masen obviously you know that’s not true, right?”

  He lets out a guttural breath and pushes me back while he leans away from me. “Of course, I know it’s not true. I had your blood all over my cock and my sheets, but it doesn’t mean I want to hear that shit,” he snaps.

  I don’t like the way he’s talking to me. I’m not the one with past loves still calling. I’m pissed. “You don’t want to hear that shit!” I shout and jump from his lap. He opens his mouth. “Uh uh, you think you can sit their all mad about something, that clearly considering the way you talk about my virginity so vulgarly, didn’t even happen, while I had to listen to her tell me you still love her. That you told her so, yesterday. That you are just biding your time until you find a way to get rid of me. That I wouldn’t please you sexually, that I would never be enough. That you’ll be begging to have sex with her, that you already have.” I rage at him. I’m shaking; I’m so mad. My whole body trembles. “Did I forget to mention she’s said you have never once told her it was over. That you didn’t want her anymore. I mean she’s still your damn assistant so that says enough right there. You had to know that would bother me, if only for the past you shared, but let’s be honest, a week ago really isn’t the past,” I hiss. My God, has it only been a week since he’s be
en with her? I can’t think about that now. “She’s still in love with you. How dare you be mad at the shit storm you created.” My voice falls. I’m losing steam. “You know what? Piss off, Masen!” I say already walking out of the room.

  He leaps from the bed and grabs my arm before I’m out the door. I turn around and jerk my arm free from his hold. “Please wait, please let me explain.” Masen holds his hands out like he’s asking to touch me. He’s begging. His face is sad; white blue eyes clouded with worry and fear. His full lips turned down in a frown. I cross my arms over my chest smashing my breasts.

  My anger is evaporating. The hurt intensifies. My voice is soft, when I say, “it’s not supposed to be this hard,” I motion between our bodies, “moments of extreme high followed by hurt and confusion. I know I’m kinda in the dark about a lot of this shifter stuff, but I do know my parents were Mates. We have fought more in the last week than they fought my entire life. Maybe,” my voice cracks, “maybe you’re just not ready for this. Because Masen, I can’t accept anything less than full measure from you. I’ve repeatedly given you everything: my trust, my body, my heart; but I just don’t think it’s enough,” I say on a sob. I rein in my tears; I will not be weak.

  Masen falls to his knees and lays his head on my arms that cover my breasts. His arms wrap around me. “It’s enough. Please, you are enough. I don’t know why I’m such a fuck up at being a Mate. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you, and I know I have. I can’t stand that I’ve cause this. I feel it, feel every emotion. The bitter anger at her and me, that’s deserved. The anger at yourself; that isn’t. The sadness tightening my throat. And, the hurt searing my chest.” He lifts up my arms and wraps them around his shoulders like he needs me to hold him. Then, he lays his head on my breasts. “She lied, none of its true,” He says with conviction then starts shaking his head. “Shit, well almost none of it.” I start to pull away. “She’s is still my assistant,” he rushes to say, squeezing me. “I was going to tell her yesterday I found her a new position. I was in meetings all morning; then those fuckers got ahold of you at the mall. I just left. So, she is my assistant but only because I didn’t get a chance to tell her she’s not.”