Becoming His

by Albany Walker

  My heart rate has slowed down. The hurt lessening with his disclosure. I feel better just knowing she won’t be working so closely to him. I move my hands up to his hair, running my fingers through the perfect mess. Masen’s hands rove my back, my sides, even down my legs, comforting me with his touch. “The rest, Little One, all lies. I swear. I haven’t told her I loved her in five years. Never in my life have I ever begged her for anything, least of all sex!” He growls indignantly. It still bothers me thinking about them together. I need to get past it, for his sake and mine. I need to trust him. I can’t keep letting her make me doubt him.

  “Masen, I...”

  He squeezes me tighter. “Shh,” he cuts in, “you are enough; will always be enough. You satisfying me sexually isn’t even a question.” His voice drops low like even thinking about it has him needy. “I love being inside you, love licking you. The way you taste makes me crazy, and the way you smell, I get hard even being in the same room. You are so beautiful, Baby. The way your big, amber eyes light up when you see me or darken with need when you look at me.” He rasps as he nuzzles my breasts. His hands that were giving comforting caresses are now heated strokes. I don’t think he even realizes it. Masen’s knees bracket my feet; his big body touches mine from toe to neck. The borrowed shirt I wear and his low-hanging, gray pants are the only things separating our skin.

  I reach under his arms and try to tug him to stand. “Masen, get up.” He stands never losing contact with my body. He lifts me and drops his face to my neck inhaling my scent and finding his mark. His nose rubs back and forth a few times before I feel the tip of his tongue caress over my scarring skin. I wrap my legs around him and sigh in contentment. Masen walks us back to the bed and sits down with me now straddling him. I feel his erection between my legs, but he’s ignores it. Instead, he holds me. Letting us both take comfort from each other. “Masen?” He hums in answer. “Masen, I have something to tell you.”

  “Yeah, Baby?” He says as he lifts his devastating eyes to mine; they’re soft and kind. No evidence of our argument muddies them.

  I squeeze my eyes closed before coming clean. “I looked through your phone after I hung up. I opened your text conversations. I saw a chat with Michael but didn’t read much. When I saw her name, I opened it with the intention of reading it,” I spout quickly before losing my nerve. I open my eyes slowly not wanting to see the disappointment after we’ve both just been through the ringer.

  One brow arches while the other eye squints. “So,” he shrugs, “I don’t care. Were you worried I would be?” He asks confused.

  My body sags in relief. “Yes, I was worried,” I answer. “There a few more things I’d like to talk about now that neither of us are angry. That okay?” He nods looking a little skeptical. “How do you think she knew about you being upset last night?”

  I can read the confusion on his face. “I’m not sure, but she must have overheard one or all three of them talking.”

  “But when would she have overheard them?” I ask. I’m being paranoid; I know I am, but what if she has cameras in here or some crazy shit.

  “On Fridays and Saturdays, a lot of the pack goes to the meeting hall. There’s usually a band at the bar in the back. That way if things get rowdy we can handle it here; no humans get hurt and no police get involved. We even have karaoke on Wednesdays.” He laughs a little but sounds proud. I can tell Masen takes pride in his pack; he seems very generous. I don’t know if any of the other packs have all the advantages he provides. There’s so much I need to learn, but first, I want to see what he’s created, see him interact with his pack.

  “Can we go there tonight? I’d love to meet some of your friends, your pack. Wait, I’m only nineteen can I get in?”

  Masen throws his head back and laughs. “You are so damn adorable. It’s my bar baby. If I want to shut it down to make love to you on the stage, I could. Can you get in?” He chuckles.

  “That sounds kind of nice, maybe next time.” I meant it as a joke, but the way he reacts makes me want to go there now.

  His hands grip my hips, and he pushes me down harder on his lap as he grinds up. One of his arms curves around my back. His hand goes to the opposite shoulder; his finger cups my mark as he seeks my lips for a kiss. He kisses me like he needs to, like he can’t help but kiss me. My hands caress his back and up his sides over his massive shoulders to his thick neck. God, I love how he feels. Every inch of his body powerful. As I grow wet with desire, my fingers get bold, grabbing his hair and tugging. His resounding growl encourages me to let my body guide me. I break our kiss and move my mouth to his bottom lip; I suck it gently into my mouth. As I release, I bite a little harder than a tease but not to hurt him. His grunt and the way his hips thrust up let me know it’s okay. I lick the slight pain I caused and move down to his shadowed chin. I let my tongue barely graze his thick hairs, loving the texture against me. I purr with satisfaction.

  Moving down his neck, I kiss and suck my way to his ear, occasionally giving a firm bite to his tension filled neck. I like it much more than I should. I want to mark his entire body with my teeth. I must say it out loud because I hear Masen’s deep voice. “Go ahead, Baby. Your teeth feel good on my skin,” he grates through his clinched teeth.

  At his ear, I whisper with heated breath, “I need to fuck you, Masen. Then, I want you to make love to me, slow.”

  He shudders beneath me, crushing me close. “Love it when you say my name, Baby.”

  I push away from him enough to look in his hooded eyes, black with need. I nudge his shoulders back so he laying back on the bed with his feet on the floor. I crawl down his body tasting every inch as I go. When I make it to the top of his pants, I stand over him at the foot of the four poster bed. His enormous body splayed out for me makes me feel so powerful. Knowing he could crush any threat with his bare hands and willingly puts himself at my mercy is heady. His head lifts to watch every move I make. The look in his eyes tell me he’s indulging me. He’s the predator here, always will be, but we are both enjoying my game.

  Languidly, I remove my shirt, leaving me naked to his perusal. Masen’s tongue slowly swipes his bottom lip. He looks hungry. I run my hands up his thighs until I reach the waist of his pants. Brushing my cheek against his covered erection, I look up and our eyes meet. “Scoot back, Masen.” When he lifts to move back, I tug his pants down. He hisses out a breath when I drag my short nails down his thighs. I toss the pants on the floor and prowl up the bed. He grips the sheets; I know he’s fighting not to take control. His hard cock, now free, pushes up just past his belly button.

  When I’m on all fours, my lips hovering over the engorged head of his cock. I lick him from base to tip with my flat tongue. His back arches off the bed, and he curses. He smells so good, a little like me from last night, but mostly just Masen, like forest leather and sex. I inhale deeply. “I like smelling my pussy on you, Masen.”

  His hips rock forward causing the muscles in his abdomen to bunch. “I only have so much restraint, Little One.” His voice is guttural, dark. I’m pushing him too far, and I love it. Some part of me knows I’m doing this because of her. I smile up at him and bury my nose at his base and scent him. My eyes never leave his.

  “Fucking shit, Sophia!” He yells, “I’m going to spank your ass red for this. So play, Little One, but know it’ll be my turn soon.” It’s a dark promise. Shit maybe I did go too far.

  I push my lips to a small pout then finish crawling up until I’m straddling his hips. I lean forward trapping his cock between our bodies. He rocks up against my soft belly. I kiss his small nipple sweetly, then move over and bite. He moans. His hands fly to my hips. “Masen?”

  He swallows thickly. “Yeah,” he croaks.

  “Masen, I need you, now.” His eyes close. I whisper in his ear, “put your cock in me, Masen. I need to fuck you.” His hands pinch my hips. I move from my knees to my feet still hovering above him, so I can lift up enough for him to get inside. His left hand lets go of my
hip. He looks between our bodies and reaches down to grab his cock. I watch as he lines us up, and I lower till he’s barely inside me.

  He tries to thrust up slowly, but I lift further keeping him just inside my opening. He groans and relaxes back to the bed. I circle my hips letting my wetness coats his tip. Without warning, I drop harshly onto him, impaling myself on his shaft. I scream, and he shoots up to sitting on a roar. I’m so worked up; just him being inside me makes me convulse around him. When my muscles relax, I push him back down and take control. I swivel, rock, and circle my hips finding what makes him crazy. When I lean forward and grind, I can feel his base on my clit. When I lean back and brace myself on his thighs his tip rubs my clit on every thrust. Every movement is better than the last. I’m drunk on pleasure. I go back and forth between slow and soft to hard and fast. “Masen, watch my pussy eat you up, take you full.” He looks down between our bodies, and I let him almost fall out before slamming back down.

  I’m flipped on my back before I even realize what’s happened. His face is above mine. Jaw tight; his face savage. “Enough,” he barks, “you are MINE! You want to be fucked, Little One? Lift your hands up, now.” I’m trembling from excitement and a little fear. I have pushed him to far, but I loved every minute. I comply with his demand, watching him. He’s still inside me; he hasn’t moved. My arms reach up to nothing; his black gaze looks above me. His smile is beautiful and terrifying. He eases out of me slowly; then, he moves to his knees, his hands on either side of me. I get one gentle kiss to my lips, an apology of sorts. I know I’m about to get what I asked for. I just don’t know if it’ll be more than I bargained for. “Love you, Baby. Need you,” he says before he strikes. I yell as he slams me up the bed, oh my God. Holy shit, my hand can feel one of the posters of the bed. “Grab ahold, do not let go!” He commands.

  Masen fucks me so hard, so deep he hits my cervix with each thrust; it’s a perfect agony. I can’t tell if I had one long orgasm or multiple. It’s so much I’m almost in tears. “Masen, please,” My voice not even a whisper, I beg. For more, for less, for him to stop, for him to never stop, I have no clue my brain is a fog he is all I know.

  “You will come again when I’m ready. You understand?” I nod my head my voice is hoarse from screaming my arms are so tired. I don’t think I’ll be able to walk for a week. Unbelievable, his pace speeds becomes erratic. “Squeeze me now, come all over my cock, knowing I’m the only one who does the fucking!” I do his harsh words fueling my climax.

  Masen’s demeanor changes immediately. He lovingly caresses my body. When he pulls out, I whimper. I loved every minute, but I am not ready to toy with Masen Black. He taught me a lesson. I curl on my side and know I’ll need to shift later to heal my aching body, but right now, I need sleep. “I’m sorry, Baby, so sorry. I got so carried away,” he says regrettably. “Are you okay, Little One?” He whispers.

  I just nod my head. My emotions are just as out of whack as my body. He gave me exactly what I wanted. I enjoyed it more than I can say, but I want to cry. I think I was trying to prove to myself that I could be what Roxanne said I couldn’t. I thought I was in control even when I knew I really wasn’t. Now that it is over, I miss my sweet, bossy man. I want him to love me, not fuck me. I’m a mess. I give in to sleep before he feels more of my crazy emotions that I can’t seem to control.

  MASEN

  For the past three hours, I’ve watched her sleep. Never once closing my eyes longer than to blink, I haven’t left her side. She’s still curled up and away from me. I haven’t touched her since she whined and rolled away from me. I don’t deserve to.

  I knew what she was doing. I knew what happened this morning with Roxanne fueled her need to have me. I know she wanted me. We will always want each other; it’s part of being Mates.

  I should have stopped it, should have never let that happen when it wasn’t about just us. If I didn’t stop it, I should have at least let her think she was in control. I can’t believe the way I treated her. Oh God, the way she felt after I used her. Did she feel like that the whole time? Was I just too caught up in myself to realize it was way too much, way too soon? She was a virgin for fucks sake days ago, and I fucked her like a man possessed.

  What will she think of me when she wakes up? Will she ever trust me again with her body? Part of the reason I haven’t left is I’m afraid, afraid she’ll wake up and run from me because of the monstrous way I treated her. I can’t believe I hurt her physically; her little body bares the bruising of my brutality. The hip I can see has a large purple welt surrounded by many small bruises from my fingers. Her ankle is collared in purple from me holding her leg up. A tiny drop of blood sits on the corner of her mouth from me biting her lip. I don’t want to see the evidence of what I’ve done, but I can’t look away.

  Should I call someone? We have a doctor in the pack, quite a few nurses. Why hasn’t she woken up? My mind is running in circles.

  Our bond is strengthening. Before she fell asleep, I not only felt her emotions; I could see them. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening, but I could feel her physical pain, her confusion at enjoying what I did to her even when I hurt her. I felt her sadness over what she thinks she lost. She thinks I’ll forever be the beast, that she ruined what she had by pushing me. She blames herself for my inability to control myself. She thinks that’s what I need to be fulfilled. I’ll prove to her how wrong she is.

  I saw myself through her eyes I saw the caring but bossy lover with a dirty mouth she loves to listen to; she thinks she lost him. I also saw the beast that can do things to her body that she doesn’t understand, but she doesn’t feel the love from him, only his need. Even then, she was concerned for me; she didn’t want me to know her heart ached with loss, that her little body throbbed with injuries that I caused.

  Before she passed out, I saw a wolf, not hers because it was a white wolf and they’ve been gone for hundreds of years but a wolf all the same. She knows she needs help healing from my damage. “I need to heal,” was her last thought. Our connection is much stronger than anything I knew possible. I can’t imagine what will happen when we complete our union. Will I be able to hear all her thoughts? Will she hear mine?

  Her eyelids flutter but don’t open. Her body curls tighter, making a small ball in my bed. Her knees almost touching her nose. Her hands curve protectively over the top of her legs. Using one finger, I gently stroke her cheek. Her eyes pop open, and she gasps, followed by a long groan. Immediately, I feel her pain. She pulls in breath through her teeth and prepares to move her body. Her arms feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. Overused from holding the pole to protected herself from my assault. Her legs have cramps in her thighs and calfs. The worst of her physical pain is her belly aches with a low, angry throb from my callous thrust. Her beautiful lips and the bruising not even registering. I know when she recalls every moment. She coughs on a sob she’s tries to hide.

  Oh God, how could I do this? She pulls herself together and turns looking for me. “Masen,” her voice grates out. She smiles then grimaces when her lip splits more. Licking the fresh blood away, she tries to sound cheerful. “Hey, Masen, my wolf needs a run. Can you go start the shower for me? I need to stretch a bit.” She lies. She doesn’t want me to see her stager from the bed. “Did you want to run with me?” She asks then quickly adds, “it’s okay now, right? Since we’re Marked, he’ll be okay? I don’t think I’m ready for another round.” She tries to laugh.

  “Sophia, stop, please.” Regret clear in my voice. She looks over my shoulder trying to figure out how to act. “I know,” I say quietly. She won’t look at me; she thinks I’m disappointed in her. I want to hold her so bad, but I’m afraid to touch her. “Look at me, Little One.” She does reluctantly after swallowing thickly. “I should have never let that happen, not when I knew it wasn’t about just us,” I say seriously, not wanting to bring Roxanne’s name into the discussion. I know she’ll understand what I mean. “I should have controlled myself. I made a
mistake and went way too far. I know I hurt you in more ways than one.” Jesus, her eyes tell me everything our bond is already saying. She still thinks it’s her fault, that she should have listen to my warnings. Her body hurts, but that doesn’t concern her, she’s had worse. At that thought, I want to murder every mother fucker that every touched her, including myself.

  What bothers her most is how I treated her. I didn’t love her; that’s what she thinks anyway. She doesn’t understand that when time passes, and she comes to know her body better and trust me more she’ll love the things we’ll do to each other. She’ll know every touch I deliver to her comes from love. I wasn’t mad at her or angry; It was just too much, too soon for us to play that hard. Regardless, I was too rough; her little body should never look like a road map of my lust.

  “Listen Baby. I know what you’re thinking. I can literally hear your thoughts. None if this is your fault! That’s not what I need when we make love; things got out of hand. I took things too far, too soon. I love you, and believe me, I was much more satisfied the other times we’ve made love.” At that, her face crumples, now she really thinks she a disappointment. “No, no. Fuck, everything I say comes out wrong. That’s not what I meant. Of course, I enjoyed it, but I love it when you enjoy it. You understand? I felt how you felt afterwards, and that wasn’t good.” I rub my head vigorously and clear me throat. “When you’re ready, I’ll show you I can and will still make love to you, that I love taking care of you.”

  Her eyes widen; she looks appalled. She thinks I want her right now. “Good God, not right now, fuck me. I think I’ve lost the ability to speak like a normal person and convey my thoughts rationally.” I shake my head. I need her to shift. I can’t keep looking at my damage to her body. I need her to understand now that I can fix this. “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I love you. I will continue to love you. I will never hurt you physically, again. I am a fucking asshole. Everything is the same; eventually, you will see I wasn’t rough because I didn’t love you. I was to rough because I love you so much. I know that’s hard to understand because all of this is so new to you. It’s true; I promise. Now, I need you to shift. I can’t keep looking at you.” Her face pinches; she’s trying not to cry. What? Has she been listening?She seems to be understanding what I was saying. Where did I go wrong? I slam my palms to my face. “I can’t keep looking at the damage I’ve caused your body, Little One. I love looking at you!” I rush to say. I’m such a fucking idiot.