He stalled, “okay…I’ll try tonight. He’s in Ibiza, though so…it will cost me.”
Moses laughed, “Sure…says the guy in a mansion with a gold toothbrush.”
“Actually it’s silver so….fuck off.”
GABRIEL
Ibiza is maybe one of my favorite places on earth. I feel less pursued here and the view is always divine. Even now as I stand on the rocky incline of shore my eyes are assaulted with aqua clear blue waters and lush green treetops on the other side.
The sun is so bright I need my sunglasses but I still have to shade my eyes to look out. There are a few kids swimming in the shallow end of the water and my sailboat is coming in from afar.
I would love to have someone with me right now, but not the women I’m surrounded by this moment. Not the bikini clad goddess sun tanning or the giggling group at my back. They keep my demons at bay in the night but during the day I need a companion. Someone like Brianna.
I would gladly sit and tell her all the beauty of this place. I would describe all of it and share the vision like I had on the beach in California.
The closer my boat came the better I could see my friend. Roman is a record breaking music artist. He’s a contemporary singer that almost makes as much money as I do and right now he’s a few more drinks from completely drunk.
“Hey!” He called over the water from the bow of the deck. “Man, are you coming out? This water is sick! Did you see the fish in this place?”
I laughed and waved, “You sound like new money, Mate. Rein it in.”
“Think I give a fuck?”
I laughed again then drank the alcohol in my glass. No, I don’t think he does. The sun is reflecting off the darkness of his skin and the ladies are appreciating both of us shirtless and wet from the water. One of the girls we came with touched my back as she went by and I watched as she tiptoed down the shore then jumped into the water. Her ass did a pleasing bounce with every step.
Two of the other women came to crowd in on me. Both of them hung on my body like ornaments, because that’s all they really are.
“Let’s swim again!” said the blonde, I don’t recall her name.
“No!” said the redhead. “Let’s go to the cliffs and dive!”
The redhead has no clue she’s only here because her hair is the same color as the girl I left behind in America. “Nope,” I said with a dazed smile. I put my arms around them both, “afraid I’m too soaked for swimming. I may drown, and then where would all my money go?”
The blond hyped up, “Let’s go to The Claw! That club-.”
Roman came walking up with a grin, “Yes! Yes Gabe, we must go to The Claw it’s supposed to be out of this world!”
I rolled my eyes, “you say that about every club we’ve been to.”
He pointed to his own chest, “Me? No, I don’t. Shut up. We’re going.”
I let go of the blonde to pull a cigarette from my pack. While I lit it up Roman and the blonde told me all about the dance music being the best at this club and how the staff is hot. I pulled in a long breath of tobacco then blew it aside, “I’ll go if…” I looked down at the redhead, “If Ginger, here goes…”
She squealed and jumped around in her suit with Blondie because my give in was so great I guess. I smacked her ass as they ran off to gather their stuff.
Roman shoved me out of the blue, “What?” I asked.
“You look high as fuck.”
“I probably am still. I have to go corporate in a few days. Vacation for me will be over in two weeks. The start of June is the end of my personal life. I must transition into
business man mode and be public approved.”
“Damn,” he took a swig of a beer from the cooler near the girls. “Glad I ain’t you, Brother.”
Hmm, yes. I would be glad not to be me too. My body always feels unclear and my back is always breaking with the weight of expectations. “You might tire of the fame in time…” I told him before holding my cig to my lips.
“Looks like one endless party to me, Bro. Nothing we can’t do. Look at this place. Average people don’t see this shit.”
I sighed and gray smoke made my breath visible, “We party to block out the burdensome parts of being wealthy. Welcome to the death club.”
His brows flew up and he leaned back, “Way to kill my high, man.”
I inwardly shook off the dark turn in my thoughts. “Then we better get to where the music is louder…”
My phone buzzed in my pocket but I ignored it. The girls came back and insisted on a selfie so I did, why not? Throw the press a bone.
We went to my home here on the island and got dressed for the club smelling like fresh seawater and sunshine. My villa is made of sandstone and reflects something from another time. Twinkling lights string across all the entrance ways and nature invades with a blooming tree here or there sporting vibrant blossoms. The stone pathways are enchanting and when the sun is up it’s otherworldly.
My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it.
At the club, they blasted the music through the walls and the pounding made my fading high feel more like a fall. I danced with the girls, both of them and they rubbed against me in an inviting way.
Roman kept putting drinks in my hand and I kept drinking them. This feels like hollow goodness. There’s a cloud over my head that rains numb glory. All until my phone buzzed again.
“Don’t go…” the blonde hung on me and pouted.
“I have to check this fucking device that won’t stop…making me…” I laughed as the booze forced the emotion to surface. “I’ll be right back, Love.”
The redhead held my collar and pulled me into the throng of people dancing. I followed her because she’s holding my eyes and that’s a weakness of mine. I pulled her into my front so I could grind into her while following her lead. Feeling the shape of her body with my hands and imagining things from before.
She had me a good ten minutes but my ADD kicked in. If I even have it still. I don’t know. Brianna called it a label not an illness. I went outside when my friends weren’t looking and leaned my back against the stone of the club wall. I laughed again for no reason then panted as I pulled my mobile phone. Three missed calls. Two from an assistant and one from…I blinked to see better because it must be wrong.
Mom.
Mom called?
I hurried to get to my contacts and dial her but my fingers keep going in other directions because I’m too fucked up.
I finally got her dialed and put the phone to my ear.
“Gabriel?” she said and my whole body went light.
“Mum?”
“Gabriel, I can’t hear you? Can you hear me?”
I smiled, “Yes, Mum, how…how are you? You’re alright then?”
“Of course I am, Son. I’m in Africa now. We’re going jeeping tomorrow. You believe that? It’s bloody hot, though. Not even a stiff breeze.”
Her voice is like warm water on my skin, even now. She’s always been soft spoken. “You’re still coming to London for my speech, yeah? It’s July.” I reminded. I can’t waste time talking small chat or she’ll hang up. Both my parents hang up quickly. “I haven’t seen you in two years, now-.”
She spoke to someone else in the background so I took the time to light another cigarette; which looked more like a t-rex trying to commit arson since I have no hand-eye coordination from the alcohol.
She came back saying, “July won’t be easy, Son. I have friends coming in from England. Haven’t seen them in an eternity. Can’t miss that. You understand, yeah?”
I frowned, “Mum…” It’s hard to be honest but drinking pulls it out of me, “Mum, I need you… this is a big project.” Why did I allow myself to say that? “Just this once. I would like you to be there. Can you do that? You’ve been missing most my life, I just want one day in bloody July.” Damn it! My tone got harsh.
“Why are you trying to make me feel guilty?” She asked, stunned. “You’ve always done that. C
all me up and make me feel like a bad mother. I didn’t have to have you Gabriel, you have not an idea what it was like for me. I’m making up for lost time.”
I pulled back the well of deeper emotion to speak, “I’m sorry, you’re right.” I laughed again from the damned drinks. “I’ll come to you then? Is that good? I can jet out that way after the speech in July. We could…go do something, anything?”
Long, obvious pause.
She stuttered on her words a bit, “Don’t come all the way out here. You have the companies and the, whatever else it is you and your father run. I may not be here by July anyhow. I was just checking in really, to tell you I was doing well. You understand now? You alright?”
The aftertaste of spirits on my tongue and the burning of tobacco on the back of my throat made me cough. The high from whatever I took earlier finally wearing down to be replaced by drunkenness. Am I alright?
“No, Mum… I’m not so alright…” I took a long draw on my smoke then ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m not alright…” I smiled, “I don’t know what I’m saying really, the truth is I’m to my ears in liquor, but Mum-.”
“Gabriel, I have to meet up with my travel mates now. You can’t hold me up on the phone just now.”
“Mum, wait…” It will be months before she calls next. “Don’t hang up-.”
“We’ll talk about it next we phone. I don’t want to miss this tour, Love.”
Another call came in while she was rushing off and in a blink, she was gone. I looked at my phone and held it close to my face so my vision would stop spinning.
Jacob? Jacob from California?
“Hello, then?” I answered. Oh, this booze. I answered it upside down.
“Gabe?”
I laughed, “Mate, I was holding the thing upside down. Still, works the same. Try it!”
“Gabe, can you hear me? Hello?”
I tossed my cig down and put it out with my shoe, “I hear you, what you want?”
“There’s a girl looking for one of your-.”
“I got two girls inside Jacob, I don’t need a third. Oh but I met this little American. Sweet Jesus, she was fine…” another stupid laugh.
“Hey,” Jacob’s voice got deep. “Don’t overdo it, man. You sound seriously fucked up.”
I turned and set my forehead on the stone, “I can’t feel my bloody feet.” I sighed, “She was very beautiful…”
Jacob is an odd balance of party animal and responsibility and he expects others to be the same, “You’re going too hard, Gabe. I know how you get.”
I pondered out loud. “Ever notice how many rich people off themselves? Too much easy makes life hard… like this wall. It’s,” I laughed, “So if I don’t make this night, do me a favor and tell the world, I said…no comment…” I laughed at myself.
“Don’t talk like that. Gabe. It’s not funny; you could OD, are you-.”
“Hey?” I turned to lean my shoulder on the wall, “What did I call you for?”
“I called you, about your assistant.”
I swung my arm around, “Which one? I got lots a those.”
“The girl I talked to is looking for a-.”
Roman staggered out the back door, “What the fuck?” he asked. He pointed at my phone, “no! Gabe, hang up the God damn phone boy. This aint business hours.”
Jacob spoke into my ear, “Gabe? Did you hear me? Hello?”
“Hold on friend, I’m getting my wrist slapped…” I told him.
Roman came over and took my phone so I lit another cigarette because I don’t care.
Roman got on and dealt with it for me, “Hello? Yeah? He’s fine, just living it up. We aren’t on the clock, though. Yeah, sure I’ll tell him. Yeah, I’ll tell him later.” He hung up like he didn’t even hear the whole message and shut off my phone before handing it back.
“Thanks…” I said with the cig between my lips, as I pocketed it.
“Let’s get back inside, Bro!” He shouted it like an anthem and we laughed as we made our way back in.
I danced against my girls, since they found me again like barnacles. Mid-dance I took the redhead in my arms and felt my way up her hips. She pushed her body into mine like a gift wrapped delight and I gripped the back of her hair and pushed my lips down on hers.
I taste alcohol and desperation on that tongue and it did nothing for the weight in my chest. The blonde danced against my back and I let her feel my back and chest. This is dulling the awareness of my unhappiness and that’s all I want.
I led us out not long after and debated the way home if I had a soul. When I undressed the redhead and the blonde undressed me, I wondered if I had a heart. When I danced with them on my bed between the expensive sheets I wondered if I had a chance at redemption but when I was wrapped in their arms after, I pretended the redhead beside me was her…that’s when I realized any part of me that’s good…I left it in America.
Chapter Eleven
BRIANNA
“So Miss Birks…” said the nurse. Took me a minute because no one calls me by my last name. “My chart on you says you’re now ten weeks pregnant! Yay!”
“Yep,” I said nervously.
Chloe squeezed my hand, “Will we be able to tell if it’s a boy or girl yet?” She implored.
The nurse laughed, “Too early. However, we will hear a heartbeat…”
Moses sounded like he was right behind Chloe, “We’ll see it right? On the screen thingy?” he asked.
The nurse is so patient, “Yes sir. He or she will be right here,” she must be pointing at something.
My Dads hovered on either side behind me. Ray sounded deeply moved, “Twins run in our family, you should check for that,” said Ray.
I laughed, “Um…we aren’t blood,” I reminded.
Tony rubbed my shoulder, “Yes we are little one.”
Awe, I needed that. I felt for his hand and kept it. I can feel he’s happy about the baby but the father situation, not so much. That’s okay, this is my road to take.
The nurse came up and squirted cool gel on my belly before I felt the mashing of a monitor thingy. She wasn’t on there for a minute when a swooshing sound filled up the tiny space of the room we’re all crammed in. Womp, womp, womp, the sound went into my ears and lifted my heart so high. Before I even knew what it was, I knew what it was.
Chloe gasped, “Oh, my God, is that it? Is that Blueberry?”
The nurse whispered, “yes it is.”
Tony sounded moved now too, “oh he sounds strong.”
Ray kissed the top of my head, “Good job Mommy.”
I bit down on my lip hard. This sound is making it all so real. That’s my baby. I’m doing this. I’m having a baby.
“You can all crowd in closer if you like,” said the nurse. I heard a stampede since they all rushed the screen and I laughed; listening to the conversation and trying to get a mental picture.
“So tiny!”
“Look at the shape!”
“I see the beating, do you see it?”
“Is that the head?”
“No, right here.”
“I see an eye.”
“Me too! And look!”
“It’s feet!”
The nurse interrupted to fill them in, “by the measurements, your dates are right on. Looks like the last week in December.”
I smiled and fought some envy. I want to see. I want to see so badly it’s killing me. Then I thought of how Gavin described things to me or made me experience things through touch or smell. What if he were here right now doing this with me? What if he was holding my hand? Describing the person we made.
“Hey?” Moses was suddenly knelt down at my right and holding my hand.
“Hi,” I said in a whisper.
“You okay? You look sad.”
I shrugged, “Just thinking. We never heard back from Jacob.”
He cleared his throat, “I did. He called Gabe Gilmore a week after we asked.”
I looked in his di
rection and my heart raced. “Did he get him to talk to Gavin?”
“He tried…but Gabe was really drunk and he had to leave the message with his friend.”
I came down slowly, “So in other words no.”
“I’ll have him try again.”
“No…it’s…he wouldn’t want this anyway.”
Moses’ voice was a little disapproving, “I have no doubt you can do this on your own, but…he should still know. I would want to know…”
I reached out my hand and he guided it to his cheek. I pet him and smiled, “Not all men are you, Moses…” I listened to the heart of my berry again then smiled, “Blueberry has more than enough don’t you think? An aunt and uncle aka you and Chloe. Three Grandpa’s your dad, and my two, and a Doula that’s the uncle’s ex-girlfriend…”
He laughed, “The face of family is so beautiful don’t you think?”
I smiled, “It’s perfect and if I get the chance to find Gavin or tell him, I will.”
He hugged me and I soaked up the love.
Weeks later I’m finally starting to sport me a bump. It’s a tiny bump but it’s a bump and I am one proud mama at fifteen weeks. I also have fatter boobs and that is a major plus to my ego. I even wear low cut blouses! I can’t see them but when I walk the bounce makes me feel like a sexy knocked up alley cat.
The appetite is back full force. I still throw up my shoes sometimes but the hunger in pregnant world, I’ve learned to be the most intense. It’s like I now know how Vampires must feel.
Poor Chloe learned this when we went shopping the other day. “Can we eat now?” I asked her.
She was trying on dresses, “We just had a pretzel.” She laughed.
“But Blueberry needs a cheeseburger.”
She laughed at me again, “Girl, you are so not going to be a size two jean after this.”
“I was a size four so I’m over it.”
We made it to two more stores but it was the walk to the parking lot that killed me. I started to whimper and she stopped to rub my arms. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Bri?”
The Co-Parent (The Relationship Quo Series Book 3) Page 11