Believed (My Misery Muse)

by Betzold, Brei

  I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. I’d only been gone a few weeks and the shops records and calendar was a mess. It was going to take me a month to repair what they broke in weeks. There was also a lost shipment of ink that no one remembers signing for, or where they put it. Though I had a signed invoice with Cris’s name on the bottom. Haven was missing equipment that I ordered, signed for, and put in her room before I left. I didn’t have a clue what was going on, and I really didn’t want to tell Cris.

  “Here, eat,” Devi said dropping a bag in front of me.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  “When did you start wearing glasses?” Devi asked sitting down beside me.

  I pulled a sandwich out of the bag and nearly moaned. I’d forgotten to eat breakfast this morning, and I don’t think I ate dinner the night before either. I unwrapped the sandwich and bit into it closing my eyes.

  “What?” I finally asked after eating half the sandwich.

  Devi shook her head at me. “Glasses?”

  “Oh,” I said wiping my mouth with a napkin. “I wear them when I’m on the computer. I was getting headaches.”

  “Huh, I didn’t know that.”

  I shrugged. “Had them for a while now.”

  She flicked her finger towards the computer screen. “Find anything?”

  “We’re missing merchandise, and some other items.”

  “Fuck,” she groaned, “we don’t need this.”

  “I was about to find Cris.”

  Devi cringed. “I think I’ll head home.”

  “Wuss.”

  “I consider it self-preservation.”

  “Better scamper.”

  Devi stood up. “You coming over tonight?”

  “No, I’m going to go home; I want to paint the kitchen tonight.”

  “Max still staying with you?”

  “I think he has a date with Emory tonight.”

  “I like that girl.”

  I smiled. “I do too. She’s good for him.”

  “If Max isn’t going to be there, who is?”

  “Ash is coming over to help paint.”

  Devi nodded. “Good, I don’t like you being alone.”

  “I’ve been back for a week and haven’t seen him.”

  “I know,” she sighed, “but I still don’t like it.”

  “I’m being careful.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  She nodded. “Enjoy your meeting with Cris.”

  “Bitch,” I muttered.

  She laughed and walked out the door. I finished lunch then went to find Cris. It was better to get this over with. When he was done yelling, I could head home.

  Sam

  After three days of meetings with label execs, we were through with our contract with them. Which was a relief, I was ready to start working on our next album. We did sign contracts with them for distribution with our new label. They wanted a more active role, but neither Seth or I wanted to be under their thumb any longer. At lunch today things were finally hashed out and finalized; the press release was going to correspond with our last tour date.

  The best thing about the deal we struck is that we are leaving with the rights to all the songs we’d written under their banner. We can’t re-record any of them for five years, but they’re ours. I was ready to go home; this tour couldn’t end soon enough. My father was rapidly declining in health, and I was needed at home. I could feel the pressure building inside me, between all the meetings, my family, and the tour I felt like I was being pulled apart.

  And I missed Jules, god, did I miss Jules. When I slept, I dreamt of purple eyes and soft laughs. I kept picking up the phone and calling her just so I could hear her voice. Only I stopped myself every time, I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t know how to fix the rift that was between us, or if I wanted to.

  I walked into our house in L.A. with the freshly minted contracts in hand. We had our third and final show in L.A., a meeting with a P.R. firm we are going to use with the new label, and then a meeting with our lawyers. After that we were leaving L.A., I had been reminded why I hated this place. Everything was fake; I didn’t know how we lived here for three years without losing ourselves completely.

  I followed the voices into the game room and found X, Eli, and Seth in there playing pool. I dropped the sheaf of papers down on the table.

  “It’s done, just needs signatures,” I told them.

  “What’s it costing us?” X asked picking up the papers.

  “A distribution contract with the new label.”

  “How the hell did you work that out?” Seth asked.

  I stretched my neck. “We got all the rights to our songs, only we can’t re-record them for five years. We can though continue to play them without any issue.”

  “How?” X asked.

  “Drake did it,” I said. “Not sure how, but when I went to lunch they had this drawn up.”

  Seth grinned. “I knew we hired him for a reason.”

  “Oh, and we got rid of Ian,” I mumbled.

  “You got rid of Ian?” X asked perking up.

  “Yeah, he’s not joining us for the rest of the tour.”

  “Sweet.”

  I shook my head at X’s exuberance. While I didn’t like having someone spy on us, I was going to miss the added help. Drake though wanted to get to work; we’d just have to do it long distance.

  “If you look it over and sign, we can get it courier to bring it back.”

  I left them with the paperwork and headed up to my room. I wanted to get out of the suit and into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I tossed everything from my pockets onto the bed and shuffled through my newly washed clothes. One of the benefits of having a house on the west coast—a laundry room.

  Just as I was pulling on my T-shirt, my phone began to ring. I was looking forward to a day where I could go without it being attached to my ear.

  “Yeah,” I mumbled while I zipped up my jeans.

  “Sam?”

  “This is him.”

  “Hey man, it’s Alex.”

  “Was there a problem with your check?”

  “No, got it on time like always.”

  “Okay,” I said confused, other than his royalty check from the albums we cut while he was still drummer I didn’t know why he’d be calling me.

  “I have a situation here.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “One of my guys went out collecting the other day, the guy said that his girl was paying his tab. Only his girl ran away with some rock band.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I was a bit surprised when they guy said it was My Misery Muse she ran off with. It’s not like you ever allowed groupies to go on tour. Thought I’d call and find out what was going on.”

  I sighed. “So you’re dealing now?”

  “Gotta pay the bills.”

  “Who is the guy?”

  “His name’s Beau; he’s a real asswipe. He’s always going on about how beautiful his girl is, then talks about tracking her down and shaking her for cash.”

  “Jules,” I groaned.

  “Yeah, that’s the girl’s name. Take it you know her?”

  “She’s family, Alex.”

  “Fuck, Sam.”

  “She works at Pin’s Ink, and is Cris’s foster sister.”

  “He owes a lot, Sam, and not just to me.”

  “She’s family.”

  “I’ll put that out there, make sure everyone knows she’s off limits.”

  “How much does he owe you?”

  “Ten grand.”

  I whistled. “Damn, she doesn’t have that kind of money. She’s also not his girl, hasn’t been for a while now. He follows her around and assaults her when he needs funds.”

  “Let me think a moment, some of the guys he owes aren’t going to care that she’s family.”

  “Alex,” I growled, “if anything happens to her so help me.”

  “Ah so it’s like that, she�
�s yours, huh?”

  “No,” I said quickly.

  “Yeah, she’s yours, and that really changes things. Listen you’ve been good to me over the years so I’m going to do something I never do.”

  “What’s that Alex?”

  “I’m picking up the guys debts and letting everyone know he’s on his own now. He’ll only owe me, and I will collect one way or another.”

  “Thanks, Alex.”

  “We’re good now, Sam?”

  “Yeah, we’re good.”

  “Alright, I need to get to work, I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Bye Alex.”

  “See ya around, man.”

  When he hung up, my knees gave out and I landed on the bed. This was not good, that prick was out there buying drugs on credit then using Jules name as the person paying. I whipped my phone off the bed and called Cris. They had better be keeping an eye on her, if anything happened to her… I closed my eyes I couldn’t think about that.

  Chapter 37

  Jules

  The meeting with Cris, going through the list of employees who had access to everything missing, determined that the list included everyone. Then sifting through those we know wouldn’t steal the list was down to seven people. One of which I didn’t agree with but Cris wouldn’t see reason. I don’t care how much he insisted Haven be on that list I didn’t consider her a suspect. I’d gotten to know her and there was no way in hell she would risk losing this job and having to go back home. Devi agreed with me, so we just bypassed her name on the list.

  The other six were two new artists and the four counter girls. I was leaning towards one of the girls who worked the counter. I’d spent the last two days working insane hours so I could keep tabs on everything. Since I came back though nothing had gone missing, and Cris was becoming more volatile.

  “Have I told you that you’re my hero?” Haven leaned against the counter where I was working.

  “Why?” I asked absentmindedly; I was working on rescheduling some appointments.

  “You got rid of Cris without bloodshed.”

  “Eh, he was acting like a prick. I wasn’t going to have clients near him.”

  I held up a finger. “Hi, is this Josh?”

  I half listened to the guy on the line while looking for available dates.

  “This is Jules with Pin’s Ink. I’m calling to reschedule your appointment with Crispin today. Unfortunately he had to go home sick. I have a few upcoming dates coming up that he’s available. Or I can schedule you with another artist today? It’s your choice.”

  I hit the mute button and looked over at Haven. “Some days I hate my job.” The guy continued to bitch about the inconvenience.

  “I understand and I am sorry about this, but it really couldn’t be helped. My first open appointment for him is next week.”

  I hit mute again. “You been busy today?”

  Haven watched me. “No, not really. How do you do it?”

  I unmuted the guy. “Yes, Josh I do understand that you waited months for this appointment, but Cris went home with a stomach bug. I really don’t think you want him tattooing you when he can’t keep the contents of his stomach intact.”

  I hit mute again. “Eh, you get used to it.”

  I unmuted again. “Josh, I’ve put you down for next Tuesday at three p.m. Can’t wait to see you. Have a great day.”

  I hung up the phone, entered the guys info. “Last one. I have some appointments for you coming up.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, they’re on your calendar.”

  She blinked. “I have a calendar”

  “Didn’t they show you how to access your calendar?”

  She shook her head, her white dreads trailing behind her.

  “Of course not,” I mumbled. “Let me see your phone.”

  She handed me her phone and I went to work putting her schedule on the phone so she’d have access to it. “I wanted to show you something if you have time.”

  “Yeah, just finished my last piercing for the day.”

  “You mean the nipple guy that was crying?”

  “That would be him.”

  “He said you tried to sexually assault him,” I said giggling.

  She rolled her eyes. “The ass tried copping a feel when I was bent over him. I told him if he tried it again, I’d pierce more than his nipple.”

  I looked down at her boobs. “Can’t blame the guy, I’m jealous.”

  She snorted. “Please, you’re skinny.”

  “And you have hips, an ass, and great tits, it’s not fair. Here, there’s your calendar, just click there and it will pull it up. So I’m working on a line of body jewelry, and I wanted your opinion.”

  “This is so cool,” she murmured going through her schedule. “My old shop wasn’t this put together.”

  “It makes my life easier.”

  “I’d love to look through what you have, have you thought about selling them in the shop?”

  “Yeah, if Cris will let me.”

  “You done for the day?”

  “I am now. Want to come over to my place so you can look at them? I need to make sure they’re safe.”

  “I’ll follow you.”

  I nodded and walked into the shop. “I’m gone, see you tomorrow,” I called out to the artists who were working.

  “I’ll be there in an hour or so,” Max called.

  “I’ll order pizza or something.”

  “Works for me,” he said going back to work.

  “Let’s go,” I said grabbing my stuff and walking out the door to my car.

  I pulled into the driveway of my new house only to find Beau sitting out on the porch. I banged my forehead on the steering wheel a few times before I opened the car door and climbed out.

  “What do you want?”

  “I need help, Jules.”

  “Yeah, you do.” I stopped in front of him. “So go get it.”

  He shook his head. “I owe a guy a lot of money.”

  “I’m broke.”

  “You’ve got to have something,” he whined.

  “Sorry, I had to take off work after you broke into the apartment I was staying in. No work means no paycheck which equals me having no money.”

  “So ask one of your friends, they have money.”

  I snorted. “Not going to happen.”

  He stood up. “They’ll give it to you.”

  “No they won’t; they’ll want to know why I’m asking to borrow money when I never have before.”

  “So lie.”

  “I can’t lie. Hell, you know that, they’ll see right through it. Plus, I’m not helping you anymore.”

  “Jules,” he crooned.

  “Not going to work, we’ve been done for a while. I never want to see you again, so leave and don’t come back.”

  “Jules, who’s your friend?” Haven asked walking up behind me.

  “My ex.”

  “Ah.”

  “Jules,” Beau growled then he grabbed my arm and squeezed, “I need that money.”

  I pulled my arm, but he squeezed tighter. “I don’t have any money.”

  “Beau,” a male voice called and he looked over my shoulder then dropped my arm taking a step back.

  “Alex, man, what’s up.”

  “I thought I warned you about coming near her again?” The guy, Alex, said.

  I looked over at him and nearly fell over. “I remember you,” I murmured while rubbing my arms.

  “Jules, right?”

  “Yeah, I met you once.”

  He nodded. “Beau won’t be bothering you again,” he said and two guys walked up. They grabbed him by the arms and dragged him towards a car that was parked on the curb.

  “Tell Sam I said hi.” I watched as Alex turned and walked away.

  “What the hell was that?” Haven asked looking stunned.

  “I don’t have a fucking clue,” I answered.

  Sam

  We were on stage in Seattle wh
en one of my effects pedals went on the fritz. I stomped on it again and nothing happened. I kicked it and watched as it sailed across the stage nearly hitting X in the leg. Seth and X turned and looked at me with a what the fuck look but I just kept playing. One of the techs quickly ran on stage and changed out the pedals then ran back off stage. I walked back over to my pedals and slammed my foot down mid solo finally getting the sound I wanted.

  When the song ended, I reached down grabbed the bottle of Jack from behind the stack of speakers and took a drink. I was going for numb, it was better when I couldn’t feel. I staggered back to my spot on the stage, then began playing the intro to Faith. I knew I was fucking the song up but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything—it was safer that way.

  The show finally ended and I grabbed my bottle from where I had it hidden then took off out the back door. I walked to the bus and stumbled up the stairs. I grabbed my Martin acoustic guitar and sat down on one of the captain chairs. I had a song that had been playing in my head for a week, so I started at the beginning humming to myself as I played.

  Xavier stomped up the stairs and glared at me. “What the fuck was that?”

  I reached down, nearly falling out of my chair, and grabbed the lyrics I had written to go with the song. I thrust the paper towards Xavier.

  “Sam!” X yelled.

  “Listen,” I slurred.

  I started at the beginning again watching X read through the words that had been circling my mind. Once I was finished, he nodded and I started it again. This time X started singing along softly.

  “I see an angel up above

  Streaking the sky in her wake

  The stars shine bright trying to garner attention

  Though she barely blinks in their wake

  I watch her sail amongst the sea

  Not realizing how she affects me”

  I transitioned into the chorus when Seth and Eli walked up behind X.

  “I believe in a world of fairies and lights

  Until she’s gone from my sight

  I believe in souls merging as one

  Until she breaks the surface of the sea

  I believe in a world of untold lies

  Until she says she loves me so

  I once believed in everything

  But that was before the mist”