Never Enough

by Lauren Dane

“I want to take you both. I want to show you the world. I want to give it to you because I can and because you deserve it. Don’t you see? It means something that you’re here for Adrian. The guy who is trying to be a good dad. The guy who is head-over-heels gone for you. I can be that guy with so few people.”

  She exhaled and he caught the battle on her features. He knew most likely torn between knowing he was telling the truth and feeling like she was using him.

  He laughed. “Oh, English, remind me to play cards with you some day. Strip poker would be quite fun.”

  “Am I that obvious?”

  He took her hand, the one she’d squeezed his with, entangling his fingers with hers and kissing it. “You wear everything you feel on your face. That wasn’t always true, so I feel as if we’re moving forward.”

  14

  Adrian sailed past his lunkhead of a brother and toward the end zone. He still had to avoid Todd, who lurked just ahead, wearing a smirk.

  Ben then approached from Todd’s left and tackled him.

  Rennie cheered him on from the sidelines, Erin calling out jeers for Ben and laughing at Todd.

  Gillian and Miles were there too. That part was the best of all.

  Gillian had shown up on his doorstep with Miles, as she’d promised, just a few hours before. Had given up her Thanksgiving plans with her friends to be with him and his family, and to give that to Miles too.

  And in doing so, she’d only made him want her more.

  She sat at a nearby table looking feminine and beautiful in a knit cap and gloves, her coat buttoned up smartly.

  Elise sat on one side and Ella to the other. Both women—well, hell, all of them—had gone out of their way to befriend Gillian. Erin was relentless anyway; Gillian couldn’t resist any more than the rest of them could.

  Miles had declined to take part in the game. Adrian had tried to convince him how much fun it would be and his son had raised one brow, indicated the size of the men playing, and had reiterated his no-thank-you.

  Given that the game had broken out into two outrageously vicious fouls between Adrian and Brody once and Ben and Cope another time along with the tackle that had Todd limping, Miles did appear to have a point.

  Though Adrian had noticed the more-than-friendly lingering pat on the ass Ben had given Todd when he helped him up.

  ’Course, he noticed this from the end zone. Ha!

  “Are they like this every year?” Gillian asked, sipping some hot apple cider. This game of theirs was something Adrian had described as a fun thing he and his friends did every year. Fun. Hm. “Adrian assured Miles that it was just about pulling the flag things off the belt. This looks a lot more like full contact to me.”

  “I believe that there is called showing off.” Ella sighed, but the affection was clear in her voice. “You’re here and Adrian wants to look tough.”

  “And Brody wants to school him for being a show-off and in doing so, is also showing off,” Elise added.

  “Oh, those two have that relationship anyway.” Erin moved back to the table to sit.

  Which Gillian had noticed.

  Alexander sat in Ella’s lap, clapping in between shoving handfuls of Goldfish crackers into his mouth. Erin grinned at her son across the table.

  “Yo!” he called out gaily, handing out a cracker to his mother.

  She took the cracker. “Thanks, monkey. How’s your birthday so far?”

  He nodded. “Yes.” He grinned before snuggling back into Ella, who kissed the top of his head.

  “Yes? I’m not sure it answers the question,” Erin teased.

  “Yes! Yes!”

  “At least your favorites don’t include no all the time. I’ll take the grin and fistful of crackers as you perch on Auntie Ella’s lap to be a thumbs up.”

  “Yes.” He had her devilish grin and it made Gillian laugh.

  “Frankly, Blue,” Erin called out to Miles, “you’re the smart one for resisting. Certainly the only one not walking with a limp later.” She winked and Miles blushed.

  Miles was, as everyone else seemed to be, totally caught by Erin Brown’s personal magic. The woman barreled into Gillian and Miles’s life like she’d always been there. She loved Miles in her fierce, beautiful way and Miles loved her right back.

  They all had gone out of their way to open their world to Miles and Gillian both. Browns and Copelands, all their noise and color, all their affection and the downright protective way they were with each other had taken up space in her life, and she was richer for it without a doubt.

  “I was thinking next year we should do track racing or something everyone can do.” Erin watched them all. “This was fun for the first twenty years.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “I’m not complaining. I mean, look at them.” Gillian tipped her chin toward a field full of fine-looking American stock. Big and braw. Masculine. Sweat and muscles, hair all over the place. “Still, they’d be far less use if they got too banged up.”

  Erin nodded. “Yeah, that’s a very good point.”

  “I think we need to eat now. It’s time for birthday cake, turkey and pie!” Elise called out from her place on the sidelines. She looked back toward Gillian and winked. “You can’t let them go much longer or everyone will be limping later. Dumbasses.”

  “Hey!” Adrian jogged over, pausing to reach out and tousle Miles’s hair. “No one even needed an ice pack this year. I think that’s a record.”

  Of course that was the moment Brody took to barrel into Adrian, sending Adrian into the grass, which he’d probably have to pick from his teeth. If Brody broke Adrian, he couldn’t continue to provide those excellent sexual services of his. Plus, well, she hated to see him get hurt.

  “Oy!” Gillian stomped over, yanked Brody up by his collar. “That’s enough of that, you two. Someone is going to really get hurt.”

  “Damn, you’re very stern.” Adrian blinked up at Gillian, smiling and totally unrepentant as his brother jabbed him one last time in the ribs before getting up.

  “Yes. Well. It seems to me, Mister Brown, that you need some stern talking-to from time to time to keep you from trouble.”

  He sprang up and hugged her, swooping down to kiss her firmly on the mouth. Not so long that she’d have been embarrassed. Oh no, the man was fiendish in the way he simply knew exactly how far to push. Miles knew they were dating and stuff, as he’d put it a few days prior when she’d asked him what he thought of it. He’d grinned in that Brown way, as she’d come to think of it, and had said he liked it and that was that.

  “You’d be my keeper then?” He grinned.

  She cleared her throat. “Rogue.”

  They caught up with Miles and all headed over to Adrian’s house where the turkeys had been roasting all day.

  “I like how she looks in your kitchen.” Cope looked over to where Gillian chopped vegetables at his sink, laughing with Erin.

  “Yeah.”

  “Figured as much. Ella and I were talking about you two yesterday. Ella says you look at Gillian like you want to eat her up with a spoon. She’s right.”

  Adrian snorted.

  “Last year you and I had a conversation. I was falling in big love with Ella. Shit was blowing up with my father and brother. Erin’s pregnancy was difficult and you didn’t want to go on tour at all.”

  Adrian nodded, remembering the day his friend had come to the house with the security details for Adrian’s upcoming tour.

  “You were trying not to drown in it. The business, fame, all that shit,” Cope clarified. “Anyway, you were like, I am so over this bullshit and I want to be around for my family, et cetera, blah blah blah.”

  “Clearly what I said touched you deeply.” He rolled his eyes at his friend.

  “It did, because I was blooming into something else. Into a man in love with a woman who changed everything. And right now, you have Miles and that’s fucking awesome. You’re coming into your own as a dad, trying to figure stuff out and not fuck him up so
much Gillian notices and gives you a frown. Though, I must tell you, I did notice a distinct zing when she gets all prim and proper and your eyes glaze over.”

  “Am I that obvious? She’d hate that if she knew. She’s very private, you know? She’d be embarrassed. Please don’t mention it.”

  “Of course not. What do you think I am?” Cope socked his arm extra hard for emphasis. “What I do want to mention though, is how you have not only a son who has rocked your world but this woman who has set you on your ass. Gillian is your other half. Your key. You two have energy. Chemistry like whoa, and wow, can you two snarl at each other. It’s that fire-and-ice thing. It’s what Erin has with Todd.”

  He clinked his beer against Adrian’s. “And yet you take care of her. I notice how you always stick with her at family stuff. Checking in frequently. Bringing her food and drinks. You make sure she’s comfortable.”

  “I’m wooing her. She’s prickly. Defensive. Christ, her childhood has left her less than trusting of most people so we clash that way.”

  “Because your snout is up in her business. And also, because you have your own baggage when it comes to trusting people.”

  “Yes. Yes, that’s true. And so fucking what?”

  “So fucking nothing. Stop being so defensive. It just means you’re having to work for it. Welcome to the real world where the rest of us have to rely on our wits instead of our guitars to get women.”

  “You’re an asshole.”

  Cope laughed. “I am, totally. But I’m married to the most beautiful woman in the world. The woman who makes every single moment of my life better. You’re letting her in. I’m happy to see that too. You can’t just live your life in the same four places with the same eight people. She’s making your world bigger.”

  “She gets to me. Everything she does gets to me. I’m helpless against it.”

  “Yeah, they do that.” Cope’s attention snagged on his redheaded wife, who sat across the room with Elise, their heads bent together, both laughing.

  “So this doesn’t go away?”

  Cope snorted. “Hell no. But they’re worth it anyway.”

  “She likes horror movies.” He laughed a moment, remembering the moment he’d discovered this fact about the prim and proper Ms. Forrester. He’d been looking through her music and DVD collection and had been rocked back on his heels by how many horror movies she owned.

  “Yeah? That’s sort of awesome. I’d never have suspected.”

  Brody ambled over and tossed himself on the couch next to Adrian. “Talking about the lady folk bustling around in the kitchen looking all fine and shit? Even hotter when they decorate for a birthday party. Don’t know why, but I don’t question these things.”

  “I was telling Cope about Gillian’s secret addiction. Horror movies. I’m using it to woo her.”

  “Ah, the woo. Nice. What’s the plan?”

  “I have a giant screen in my media room and I’m not afraid to use it. I’ve got a double feature planned for later. Rosemary’s Baby and The Wicker Man. Popcorn, root beer floats, some awesome scary movies. I’m going to lure her into my parlor with my projection screen.”

  Brody laughed, slapping his shoulder. “I knew you were a smart man. Elise loves them too. We should do a group viewing. Not tonight, so get that look off your face.”

  “With this group, you never know.” Adrian searched the room until he found Miles playing a board game with Rennie. Alexander stood at Rennie’s knee, patting it.

  “He’s a great kid.” Brody smiled. “Probably because he’s so much like me, eh?”

  “I worry about your low self-esteem.”

  “Yeah, it’s a cross I have to bear. Anyway, it’s impossible to have low self-esteem when you’re married to the most scorching-hot ballerina on the planet.” Brody waggled his brows.

  “Andy here was just making a similar assertion. Women seem to be at the root of all this stuff.”

  “Of course they are. You don’t really get it until you find that one. There are plenty before, but once she shows up in your life, none of the rest matter. She matters in a way you couldn’t have imagined before. And then you’re stuck because you’re addicted.”

  Cope nodded his head, each of them watching that woman. “Best kind of addiction there is.”

  Gillian’s gaze moved to Miles, a smile on her lips as she reassured herself he was all right. Then it moved to Adrian and she started a bit to see he was staring right back.

  She stood in his kitchen, the sun slanting over the floors at her feet. Bare. The woman seemed to hate shoes. Not that he had any complaints about it. Her feet were sexy, like the rest of her. It was probably the way she so rarely displayed a lot of skin, but the sight of her bare feet always got him hot.

  “She doesn’t seem to let go all the way with us, though. She holds back just a little.” That bugged him, he had to admit. In bed it was raw and honest, but here, sure, she laughed and had a lovely time, but she deliberately hung back a step.

  “This is about Miles.” Brody, as usual, seemed to understand Gillian better than Adrian did. Most of him appreciated this, but a small part was a little jealous she clicked so well with his brother when he wanted her to tell him everything.

  “I don’t know if I should be offended that you get her better than I do.”

  “It’s easy to from where I’m sitting. I’m not in love with her. This is big family stuff. It takes time and she’s already a reserved person.”

  Then again, Brody got him best too, so it was really just about the way his brother saw right into the heart of the people he loved. “I didn’t say I was in love with her.”

  “You didn’t have to. It’s written all over you. Please, Adrian, give me some credit. When have you brought a woman to any of our holiday stuff?”

  “Well, she’s Miles’s mom and all. I can’t very well not invite her. I mean, of course I have feelings for her that are way more than just being Miles’s mom. But she’s different from those other women on every level.”

  “Exactly. Also, you say you don’t know why she holds back and then you say you invite her here because she’s Miles’s mom. Now, you and I both know you’d invite her regardless, but how can she know for sure until she knows you better?”

  “Fine. Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

  Brody grinned. “Yeah, boy, I am.”

  The men had washed up after the meal while Gillian headed out onto the large patio with a glass of wine to join Erin and the others. This was a very good deal, she thought, given how much cake and frosting Alexander had smeared all over himself and his high chair.

  Todd had disappeared to clean the boy up. Gillian really liked Erin’s husbands. Both men clearly adored their child as much as they adored Erin. Both were active, involved fathers, and Alexander thrived because of it.

  “Have we talked you to death?” Erin asked, somewhat teasingly.

  “How can we not?” Ella smiled reassuringly in Gillian’s direction.

  “My friends are a lot like you all, actually. I was thinking of having a winter mixer at the house to introduce them to you.”

  Erin’s smile turned up a thousand watts and she leaned in, taking Gillian’s hands. “That would be awesome. From what Adrian’s told us about your friends, I’m excited to meet them.”

  “They’re all quite curious about you all since I’m spending more time here. They love Miles and he talks about you nonstop.”

  “You too, Adrian says. Anyway, I’m sure in their place I’d be just as curious. Though you’re a woman with her head and her priorities straight. I’d wager they trust that too.” Elise was always so reassuring.

  “Oh, Raven’s here.” Erin waved at a lush, ridiculously beautiful woman making her way to the patio.

  Adrian had mentioned this woman in cautious terms as a close friend of Erin’s who had a no-nonsense personality that rubbed some people the wrong way. As she studied those lazy cat eyes of hers and the swell of her mouth, Gillian noted the closed exp
ression that had bloomed at the sight of Erin.

  For some reason that appealed to her. Maybe it was that this woman who swept outside and into a hug with Erin wasn’t entirely snug up in the family either. Maybe it was the hesitation Gillian saw on Raven’s face, but there was an affinity.

  Raven turned and looked Gillian up and down. Her gaze was appraising, eyes narrowed. She was being judged. Which irritated her to no end until she finally spoke.

  “Can I help you with something?” She kept her accent smoothed, haughty.

  Raven startled, her smile brightening. “Awesome. You’re a bitch under the surface. Nicely done.” And she held her hand out. “I’m Raven and you’re Miles’s mom. I’m glad to know you.”

  She smiled, taking Raven’s hand for a moment. It was an odd way to say it, but Gillian was sure she’d meant to say exactly what she had said. Gillian had apparently been under some sort of test and had passed by not taking any shit.

  She could deal with that sort of blunt.

  “I’m Gillian, the aforementioned mother of Miles and admitted bitch under the surface.”

  “We should move to sit down and speak with the others or they’ll continue to hold their breaths that we’ll get along. You’ve probably heard that I’ve got a little bit of a reputation.” Raven linked her arm with Gillian and pulled her to the nearby swing to sit.

  “Now then.” She handed Gillian the glass of wine she’d set down when Raven had first entered. “Hey, Ella. Elise.” She smiled over at Erin. “Loving that shade of purple.”

  Erin grinned back. “It’s so totally grape soda.”

  “Where’s the young master? I come bearing presents.”

  Before anyone could say anything else, Rennie crept out onto the patio, a giant grin on her face.

  “Irene Brown, how have you been, girlfriend?” Raven waved her over.

  “Did you go snorkeling in Mexico? You said you might. Did you? Did you see dolphins? Did you know the salmon is my favorite animal? They smell the dirt, you know, from where they were born? That’s how they get back home at the end. Isn’t that cool? Imagine that. Did you see sea turtles like the last time?”