Never Enough

by Lauren Dane

  “I can see I should have a slice of pie or perhaps even cake, before I enter into the telling of my tale. But I want to find out more about Gillian. Can we work something out?”

  All this said with Gillian right there.

  “Are you trying to con me into getting you a slice of pie?”

  Raven sent a raised brow toward Elise, who sighed, though with some amusement. Adrian had told her some about Raven and Brody’s long-past romance and the trouble she’d given Elise when they’d first gotten together.

  But Elise’s body language wasn’t tight. Her smile toward Raven just a few minutes before had been genuine, so some sort of accord must have been made.

  “It’s not a con if I’m being blatantly obvious. It’s called being resourceful.”

  “Mm-hm,” Rennie said in a perfect imitation of Brody.

  “Is there cherry?” Raven asked Erin, who nodded. “I want a slice of cherry, and if you add some ice cream, I will totally share with you. I will also show you the pictures from my trip.”

  “Deal!” Rennie tore off toward the house.

  “I dig that kid. Keeps me on my toes and helps her mom forgive me for being a bitch when she first came around.”

  Elise snorted. “You’re still a bitch, but you’re better behaved.”

  Raven looked back to Gillian. “We didn’t throw down or anything. But queen serene over there would have totally cut a bitch if she had to. So what’s your story?”

  “You have absolutely no filters at all.”

  Raven pondered that for a moment and then laughed. “Erin says I’m sort of feral.”

  Todd strolled out with a grumpy toddler in his arms. “Alexander is freshly cleaned up from cakegasm. He’s having none of us menfolk. I tried to coax him into a nap and he actually snorted at me. It’s clear he takes after his mother.”

  “Mah! Yo!” And then Alexander saw Raven and laughed. “Ray!”

  “I love that he expresses himself pretty much solely with exclamations.” Raven blew Alexander a kiss and he tipped his head back, grinning.

  Elise stood. “No doubt Martine has sensed her partner in crime is ready for another round and she’ll be up soon too.” She paused to kiss the top of Alexander’s head before moving inside where Martine had been napping.

  “You even changed him.” Erin grinned up at Todd as he deposited Alexander into her lap. He kissed her soundly and stood back.

  “ ’Course I did. I can’t make milk like you do, but I can change a diaper. I had to bathe him anyway; he had cake in the little folds on his arms. Plus he stunk so bad I couldn’t pass him off and pretend I hadn’t noticed.”

  The energy between the two of them sparked and Gillian’s gaze scanned the room for Adrian, who was sitting near the fireplace, a guitar on his lap, Miles at one side, both singing.

  She was standing before she knew it. “I need to go see this,” she said faintly as she wandered in.

  She perched on a nearby couch arm and simply listened as her two favorite males made music. Her fingers itched to join.

  Miles’s head swung up and he smiled at her. “Mum!”

  “Hello, darling.” She waved him back to work but he stopped, putting a hand on Adrian’s knee.

  “Dad, you have a piano downstairs right? Mum can jam with us now. You haven’t heard her play yet.”

  “You haven’t?” Brody shook his head. “Neither have I, come to think of it.” He turned toward the open doors to the patio. “Erin, you wanna jam with Gillian, Miles and Adrian?”

  She knew her blush was apparent to everyone in the room. “Oh no, that’s all right. Really.”

  “Oh, but I have heard her play. Bach, Beethoven and Mozart.” Adrian spoke with eyes just for Gillian.

  He’d come to her after that morning when she’d played Bach. Had told her he lay in his bed, wondering at how much talent she had. He wanted more, she knew. Wanted to know why she was a piano teacher instead of working in the industry. He didn’t understand, of course, coming up the way he had, making it at the level he’d achieved would color his perception.

  One day she’d tell him.

  “She’s wicked talented. Come on, English.” Adrian stood and held a hand out to her. “Show us what you’ve got.”

  She attempted to send him a look but he ignored it, leading them all down to his studio.

  She’d looked at the piano before of course. Hello, she wasn’t made of stone. But now she sat ran her fingers over the keys. Tuned perfectly. A man who kept his instruments in good shape, was Adrian Brown. A good quality.

  “Play something, Mum.”

  “We’ll jam, silly. We’ll all play.”

  Elise came in holding Marti, Rennie pulling Raven in behind them.

  “Will you play for us? I miss hearing piano live.”

  Because it was Elise and yes, maybe because she wanted to show some of what she had, she assented.

  “All right. Do you have any preferences?”

  “Beethoven? Sonata number Eight?”

  She smiled and nodded her head. Simple, beautiful, a piece she hadn’t played other than to teach for a long time.

  Adrian watched her as she played. She felt his attention and in her own way, felt better for it.

  When she finished Marti clapped and Rennie, who’d been dancing around, stopped and bowed toward Gillian. That little girl made Gillian wonder if she’d ever have a daughter some day. And in truth, the Browns and their crazy menagerie of colorful, loving people who’ve made themselves a family in their own way gave her hope.

  They’d built something important and unique and very, very powerful, and it was impossible not to admire it. If her son and the odd relationship she and Adrian had could fit in anywhere it was with them and with her friends at home.

  “Mum went to Juilliard.” Miles said it offhandedly as he plugged his bass in.

  Elise’s smile brightened. “Really? How did I not know this until today?”

  “Because Gillian hides her light under a bushel.” Adrian winked at her.

  They jammed and she had a lovely time. Playing music with all these people she liked so much was a joy. Playing it with Adrian and Miles though, that part was extra special and it was a memory she knew she’d recall with pleasure for the rest of her days.

  15

  “Over the first week of the winter break, would you and Miles come to Miami with me?”

  She looked up from where she’d been working on her computer just a few feet away. He’d set up a mini workstation at her house and she’d begun to get used to him there.

  “I have some meetings to attend. There’s a producer I really want to work with for my new CD and he’s going to be in the U.S. for a short period of time. I have to go for a few days and I thought it might be a fun family trip to take. And, well, I’d like to introduce Miles to my team.”

  At his excited nervous tone, she turned in her chair to face him fully.

  It would come. She knew this. Knew that their blissful time of anonymity would end at some point and it would become widely known that Adrian had a son. His people knew already, and they weren’t the only ones.

  This alarmed her most. The way that something Miles had come to take for granted like his relationship with his dad could put him at risk and threaten his privacy. Already some in the press knew, like the prat who showed up on her doorstep the day before.

  “I want him kept out of the media as much as is possible.”

  Adrian’s gaze raked over her in that way he had. “Is there something you’d like to tell me, Gillian?”

  Oh so much.

  “A reporter came to the door yesterday. He stopped in town and spoke with Cal and Jules threw him out of Tart.”

  Adrian’s gaze shuttered. It rarely had with her since the truth about Miles had come out. But it hurt to see just then. Hated to see that distrust aimed at her.

  “What did you tell him?”

  “I described that birthmark you have on the back of your thigh. You know th
e one, right below your arse cheek. Was I not supposed to?”

  “Gillian, be serious.”

  “Yes, since I so rarely am. Not that you knew just how much I crave being interrogated as if I had given a total stranger the code to your front gates. I told him nothing. You might recall just how infrequently I share my personal business with total and utter strangers out to manipulate me to exploit my child and my boyfriend.” She rolled her eyes. “I told him to get off my porch or I’d call the police. But I did call the school and tell them to be extra wary about visitors on campus.”

  He blushed. “I’m not trying to do that. It’s just . . . hard to get used to the constant level of attention by total strangers. It’s hard not to get taken in by it all at first.”

  “I get that. I do. But you have to deal with the fact that the people in your life care about you and aren’t out to collaborate with the media to expose your love of root beer and jelly beans.”

  He grinned and the tension eased a little. “Good idea with the school. What did your friends say?”

  “Cal’s not a moron, you know. And I just told you Jules threw him out of the shop.”

  “Sometimes they get their hooks into you and you don’t even know it until the story shows up. I still think you should let me see about putting Miles into private school.”

  “He loves his school. He loves his friends. He’s built something here and I think he’s had enough change for the next little while. If he wants it when it comes time for high school, fine. But for now, I don’t want to upset his schedule or his life any more than it has been already.”

  “Stalkers are out there. I know this from experience.”

  She hated that his niece was murdered. Hated that such violence had touched their lives. It made her even more hesitant to tell him about her father.

  At the same time, she didn’t want to give in to fear and send Miles’s life into further upheaval when there was no reason to go there yet. She knew he worried a lot. Knew he had reason to. But this situation was not the same. A single reporter sniffing around was not what happened to Erin and her baby.

  “I know you had a horrible experience, Adrian. But this is Miles’s home. Some of the kids at school know since you came to the jazz band performance and they’ve seen you around with him. But so far there’s not been an issue. I don’t want to move him unless it’s absolutely necessary. Rennie goes to public school, for goodness’ sake. Children of celebrities do go to public school. Not everywhere, but I don’t see any reason to move to private at this point.”

  There was something so wrong with her, but every time they started to spar like this, the energy between them sharpened and made her all deliciously woozy. For him too. She saw the spark in his eyes, even as he set his mouth in a hard line.

  “Rennie isn’t my child.”

  “A fact that I appreciate. And still I don’t see the point in moving Miles when he’s happy and there is no problem. His life is far from normal. I accept that. But he should have the normal parts when he can get them.”

  “Are you saying I’m not normal?”

  She cocked her head at him, eyes narrowed. “Are you picking a fight for some reason?”

  “You’re the one who said you wanted him kept safe. I offered you a way to make that happen and you rejected it.”

  “Oh no, you don’t. I brought up safety concerns as it related to these trips and bringing Miles out into the open as your son. I didn’t say I found his school or home life unsafe. I said, in point of fact, that those were safe. I said I didn’t want to take him from school to put him in another unless it was necessary and I even gave you reasons.”

  “You had a reporter at your door, Gillian!” He burst from his chair. “And you didn’t even tell me until today.”

  “I did. I threw him off my land and that was that. And if you recall, you showed up, took Miles and his buddies to pizza and brought him back too late to finish his homework so he had to get up early to do it. And then you leapt on me and kept me awake until nearly two. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. That part is always enjoyable. When is it you needed to know and how do you propose I should have told you? Are there rules you have? If so, perhaps you should share them with me.”

  He got that look and she knew there would be bite marks and scratches when they finished with each other.

  “When anyone in the media approaches you, I want to know immediately. I prefer you don’t speak with them, but if you do, I’d like a heads-up on what you said.”

  “Fine. Fair enough. I told him to get his nosy arse off my porch or I’d call the police. Then I menaced him, which wasn’t effective, as he was quite big. Then I used the broom and he got moving. If I speak to them, I’ll be sure to let them know you’re a generous lover and a good father. Is that to your liking?”

  “You’re bitchy today.”

  “Hm.”

  “I like it.”

  “Hm.” This time he got a raised brow, but the glimmer of a smile to go with it. “If there are safety concerns, I’ll move him. I’ll put a bodyguard on him or whatever it takes. Otherwise, I want him to keep having a normal life.”

  “Can we talk to him about private school? You know, after this school year is over?”

  “See? That wasn’t hard at all. And yes, we can. In June. And yes, you may take your son to Miami. He’s only been on an airplane once before. He’ll be thrilled.”

  “Both of you. I know you heard that part. He’s my son, but you’re mine too. Anyway, it’ll be a good trip. A friend of mine has a house right on the water. A dock. A pool too. The weather should be nice. I figured we might be able to, you know, do something silly and touristy, maybe even head up to Orlando and do theme parks. And we’ll be traveling with a bodyguard, just so you know in advance.”

  She was his? Oh. Well, that made her all tingly.

  “English, say yes. Let me show you and Miles a great time. Let me spoil you both. Our first family trip.” He looked so sweet she couldn’t have refused, even if she’d wanted to.

  “I’ll have to get someone in to deal with all the animals. A day here and there while we’re at your place is one thing. But several days with all Miles’s cats and the turtle will take coordination.”

  “We can board them.”

  She laughed. “Board a turtle? Between Mary, Cal, Jules and Miles’s friends we can get people over here to feed, water and give love to everyone just fine. You have no idea what it’s like to get Claypool into a cat carrier.” She shuddered. “Getting that big blob of fur to do anything but eat and sleep is hard enough. If he thinks shots or anything of the like is involved, his claws come out. Thirty pounds of fat, pissedoff cat is no fun.”

  Adrian lost his annoyance and barked a laugh. “Erin thinks naming a cat after a bass player is pretty hilarious. And in case you haven’t noticed, Fat Lucy is also gigantic. Not sure about the orange one since I see him so rarely.”

  “That’s Pikachu. Miles brought him home when he was still obsessed with Pokémon. He’s not fat, just crazy. He lives under the back porch and he likes it that way. Jones—that’s the Siamese—is all about stealth and he’s sleek and manly. I have to tell him this over and over so he won’t get a complex about it. He’s also Fat Lucy’s guardian. He has a crush on her.”

  “Just when I think you’re one thing, you prove me wrong. I do like that whimsical streak you’ve got.” Before she could get embarrassed he continued on. “So okay, we’ll get the pet-sitting in place and you’ll come.” His smile was so pleased she couldn’t remain cross.

  “I’d better. Heaven knows we don’t need that to get to the press.”

  “The longer I know you, the more devious I find you. Sexy.”

  “Back off there, Mister Hands. I have to finish this project. Give me half an hour and then I will be available for ravishment.”

  He pouted, which only made him more handsome. “Fine, fine. I’ll get the plane reservations made.”

  He pretended to work for hal
f an hour. Put a call in to get the plane tickets taken care of. They’d arrange to pick Adrian up at the airport. Gavin, his bodyguard, would meet them in Miami.

  When she turned back to him, she caught him watching. “You’re a terribly impatient man, Mister Brown.”

  “When sex with you is what I’m supposed to be waiting for? Yes, yes, I am.” He stood. “I think we need to break in that hot tub.”

  She blushed. “Adrian! It’s broad daylight!” But he heard the way her voice changed. Knew she was intrigued.

  “You have a gazebo around it and it’s surrounded by big bushes and plants. You can’t see it from the yard unless you’re standing a foot away. Who’s going to see? Hm? If you like, we can put sheets out to protect you from view even better.”

  Which is how she ended up naked in her backyard in the middle of the day when it was about forty degrees and misting.

  “Come here,” he murmured, pushing her up against the side of the hot tub. He did like to hem her in, against doors and walls, the kitchen counter, a car. It didn’t matter, he liked it and heaven knew she did too.

  The kiss wasn’t soft and finessed at all. It came through quite clearly just how much he’d needed her in the slightly less-than-graceful way he took her mouth. She sighed into him, running her hands all over wherever she could reach.

  “I need you.” He broke the kiss and looked her up and down. “Five seconds after I’ve come and I need you again. I think about you arched and moaning, bent over my cock as you suck me off. I think about how tight your cunt is when I push into you. You make me feel like the luckiest man on earth.”

  She didn’t blush for once because the water was so warm, but she would have at such beautiful praise from him.

  “Take what you need then. I’m all yours, whenever you need me.”

  “I know. It makes my hands shake sometimes, not only just how much I need you but how instantly you give yourself over.”

  She found his cock, fisting it as he kissed his way down her neck.

  “On your knees on this bench here. Face the outside.”