Never Enough

by Lauren Dane

  Gillian moved to obey, shivering not at the cold but at his tone of command. She was sure she held the rim of the hot tub so hard it would break something. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was him inside her. Her pleasing him.

  He moved behind her and wrapped her ponytail around his fist. She stuttered a breath at the way he used it to angle her just right, even as she arched her back to get her ass closer, to push back against him.

  “I love it when you do that. When you can’t wait for me to fuck you and your reserve falls away with all your impatience.”

  He pressed in. One stroke, hard and deep, bringing a grunt from her lips. Her ass and cunt were out of the water, which was good. Fucking underwater was not fun. But he’d moved her near one of the jets. The foam and enough of the bubbles brushed against her clit as he began to move.

  “Your pussy is on fire. Hot and tight. I love being in you this deep. I love fucking you this way, the sound of the pine trees hushing over those little desperate sounds you make. I know the jet is near your clit. Mmmm, is it making you hot?” He licked over her shoulder and then bit her. Not too hard, but enough to make her give him another one of those sounds he was just praising.

  That he knew without a doubt he was not only ringing her bell, but that she’d never done anything like this before, only made him hotter for her.

  “Yes,” she managed to gasp out.

  “Good. Don’t come yet. I want your cunt grabbing my cock, squeezing until I can’t hold off any longer. And I want to fuck you for a while longer before I blow. And I will.”

  She writhed, pushing back to meet his thrust.

  Her breasts called to him so he slid his hands up her sides and around to tease her nipples. Rolling and tugging, just this side of rough. Her nipples were very sensitive and he knew just how to touch her. Another thing he loved about her—the way she responded to him.

  The only one. She was the only one for him. The only one who’d ever make him feel this way and he knew that to his toes.

  “Do you have any idea how you look from my perspective? Your back is curved, your skin beaded with water, flushed with sex and the heat of the water. I could write a dozen fuck songs every time I think of you. Your hair wrapped around my fist as I hold you exactly how I want and you not only give in to it, your pussy gets juicier and even hotter. Your nipples, oh, English, so hard in my fingers. The only drawback of taking you from behind is that I can’t lick them and suck on them until you start to pant.”

  Her needy sounds began to gain urgency and he knew exactly how she was feeling.

  “And then you let that first please go. Please, Adrian, make me come. Please put your cock in me. You’re so pretty when you beg and use your manners all at once. Though sometimes”—he paused to grab at control, which seemed very insubstantial just then—“sometimes you go another route and you boss me in that haughty way you have and I like that just fine too.”

  “If you don’t let me come, I’m going to die. Please, Adrian. Please.”

  “Not ready to leave your pussy just yet.”

  That’s when she squeezed her inner muscles and added a tiny swish from side to side when she slid back against him.

  He snarled a curse. “Not fair!”

  “Hm.” And she did it again. He knew she was close. Her cunt spasmed around him a few times, the way it did right before she came.

  He’d gone through his schedule for the next week, had mentally counted all the picks he’d collected and tried to remember the book he’d heard about that morning on NPR, but it didn’t work. That little swivel was more than enough to send him over the edge.

  “Siren,” he murmured into her ear. “Go on then, let go and come.” She gulped in a deep breath of air and used her grip on the side of the hot tub to push back harder, her movements getting less and less coordinated as her little pants began to have a soft moan at the end.

  And then she was pulling against the hand restraining her hair, needing more. He braced his other hand, the one that had been on her nipple, next to hers on the tub’s wall and gave it to her. Fucking her hard, sending waves of water all over the place, and she broke on a gasped whisper of his name and shoved him right over in her wake.

  He came and came and came some more until it nearly began to hurt. He wanted to crawl into her body at these moments, wanted to be closer, wanted to wallow in that heat.

  No porn, no show, nothing he’d ever done with any other woman had affected him on such an elemental sexual level. Or at all. Nothing and no one could have compared to what he shared with her.

  Adrian stretched and stood. He’d been in his studio writing for the last six hours and his back was killing him.

  Being a father had reawakened something inside him he’d forgotten about. That innocent sense of wonder about everything. He had a life full of exceptional people and experiences, and seeing it through Miles’s eyes had brought him new appreciation for it.

  And a creative rebirth of sorts. Since October he’d written fourteen new songs. A personal record and, if he did say so himself, they were all the best stuff he’d done.

  Not all those songs were about Miles. Some were about Gillian. Goddamn, the woman had turned him upside down. Being in love was as novel as being a father. And also as exhilarating and scary.

  “Jesus, Adrian. I’ve been calling you all day.” Erin sailed into the room and tossed herself into the chair across from where he stood.

  “I’ve been working. Anyway, not like it stops you when you decide you have something to tell me.”

  She laughed. “I’ve been playing trucks all morning, and we made cookies too. Handed a grubby boy off to a daddy and headed over here. Playing trucks is better than any therapy I’ve ever had.”

  “Miles had band practice last night. Kid’s got chops.” He grinned. “I was itching to join in, I gotta say. Gillian says she feels it too when they’re out there. You should see them, Erin. Reminds me so much of us it makes me a little nauseated. Drummer needs more practice though.”

  “Did you mention that to Miles?” Erin had picked up his notepad and flipped through it, pausing here and there.

  Anyone on the planet other than Erin and he’d have snatched it back, horrified to have his emotions and inner world so exposed. But she was his best friend. They’d been making music for so long she knew all his worst thoughts, all his lows and highs. It seemed only natural to have her read through them all.

  “Aid, this is . . . Wow.” She didn’t look up from the pages as she spoke, instead picking up a nearby pen and scribbling her own notes here and there.

  “Yeah? You like?”

  “You know I do, stop fishing. You’ve got enough for a double album here. And why not? You’re at a good place in your career and you’ve got this amazing experience to draw on.”

  “All the women I know love to tell me to stop fishing.”

  Erin laughed. “That’s because you have good taste in women.”

  “I’m going to meet Reg Thorne in two weeks.” He said it fast. He’d made light of it when he’d discussed the trip to Miami with Gillian the week before, but this producer was the kind of man who Adrian felt could put the songs together in an entirely new way. It was exciting and slightly nauseating all at the same time.

  She looked up, surprise on her face. “Oh, that would be awesome.”

  “I can’t believe I’m actually nervous about it. Christ, I’ve had more than enough critical and commercial success, and this guy would obviously know that. But damn, I want him to like this stuff. I think he could push me into something extraordinary.”

  Erin held up the pad. “These songs are extraordinary. You’ve been hiding them from me.” She frowned a moment.

  “Not hiding. I . . . I just had to process it all. So much has happened since September. I just—”

  “Weren’t ready to share. Which I get. By the way, I do hope I’m in on this one.”

  “He likes to work in New York, Miami and Portland. You’d be
away from home for a while.” Truth was, Adrian wanted her to not only be on the CD but to do tour dates as well. She’d done two surprise shows with him at the end of the summer, which had only made him more sure that it would only work if she was with him up there onstage.

  “It would be doable. One of the guys would always be with me for bodyguard work. That was my deal with them. And then the other could be there with the wee man.”

  “Yeah? So maybe there’s a chance you’d consider a tour too? A short one, of course.”

  She snorted. “Duh. Do you think I would let some other bass player get in on this? This record could make history, Adrian.”

  “Dunno about history, but it feels good.”

  “You’re so fucking in love with Gillian.” She looked through one of the songs he’d finished earlier that morning.

  The song was called “Spitfire.”

  Erin picked up a nearby guitar and noodled a little, setting a slower pace than he’d first imagined, but it worked.

  Buttoned up

  Buttoned up, lashed down

  Closed up tight till the lights go out

  My spitfire comes

  Yeah, she comes and comes again

  “Yeah, that’s the stuff.” Erin grinned. “You’re going harder here. I think it works on you. I’ve been meaning to go and have lunch with her, your spitfire. We’ve talked about it a few times but she’s always so busy.”

  “Between her design business and her piano lessons she’s busy, and then of course there’s Miles and now me.” He grinned.

  “She does seem to take care of you like you’re hers. She’s good for you. That kid of yours is astoundingly awesome. You have good things in your life. And I’m glad.”

  “Things are good.”

  “I’ve never seen you annoyed by a woman the way you get with her.” Erin continued to noodle on the guitar as he made notes and adjusted the lyrics to the tune she wrote.

  “She drives me crazy. She’s so thorny sometimes.”

  “You’ve never given a fuck about what any of them thought before now. Not in more than a gentlemanly fashion. This is different. You need to be challenged because your fallback is pretty boy with too-amiable arm candy. She doesn’t let you get away with anything. She’s a fierce bitch.”

  He grinned. “She’s hot. God, she makes me cranky and pissed off and two minutes later, in the middle of some argument, suddenly all I want is to jump on her. I’ve never ever had this insatiable need for a woman the way I do her. It’s like I can never get enough of her.”

  Erin snorted. “Listen, having insane chemistry is a wonderful thing. It’s what keeps you going when times get hard. You respect each other, which is obvious, although you have a learning curve with the parenting thing. She seems like such a perfect parent, I really should get tips from her.”

  “The thing is, she gives me great advice when I ask for it and sometimes when I don’t.” He sighed. “She is good at it and they have such a beautiful relationship. I felt threatened by that for a while, but shit, now I just look at them and know they’re mine. So we can argue but it’s over stuff we’re actually not disagreeing on, it’s the manner in which things happen that we get hung up on.”

  “How does Blue react when you two bicker? He seems sort of amused by it.”

  “He is. Kid gives me advice on how to deal with his mum. Which sort of brings us closer too. It’s all scary. I worry I will fuck him up. I mean, what are the odds this thing between Gillian and I will work out in the long term?”

  “Are you shitting me, Adrian? Puhleeze. You two are stamped all over each other. Neither of you is the type to make allegiances easily. You’re already together and neither of you makes idle promises.

  “I’m probably the last person to take love advice from, but I can tell you that just because it’s not mainstream or the way others do it doesn’t mean it isn’t real or it can’t be done. It can. You two are like Brody and Elise, different as hell on the outside, but I honestly can’t think of a woman who’d be better for you. She’s musical like you. She raises your son like she’d kill anyone who tried to harm him. She loves you, Adrian, without falling prey to the bullshit you have to live with to make your music. You have something extraordinary with her and Miles. Chances like this one are rare and in my totally not humble opinion, you’re a fucking dipshit if you don’t take it.”

  “Sheesh, I was beginning to wonder if you were a figment of my imagination.” Mary smiled up at Gillian as she came through Mary’s front door. It had been at least two months since she’d come to dinner there, and though they’d seen each other several times, it wasn’t the same as sitting down and having dinner with them.

  “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been scarce. Would it help if I told you I’ve missed you?”

  Mary hugged her. “Yes, it would, because I’ve missed you like crazy. Come on through, everyone’s here. Where’s the young lad?”

  “He’s spending the night at his dad’s house. Alone for the first time.” She took a breath. It would be fine. Adrian was a good man and a good father. Miles would be fine. It wasn’t like he hadn’t spent the night at friends’ houses before, and this was his father, for goodness’ sake.

  “I can see that argument you’re having right on your face, baby. Come through and Cal will fix you up with a cocktail.” Mary linked her arm with Gillian’s and drew her into the house.

  “Look what the cat dragged in!” Jules came over and hugged Gillian.

  She smiled, looking at the gathering of the people she thought of as family. Cal waved from his place at the bar. Ryan sat at the gigantic farmhouse table that dominated Mary’s dining room, already playing cards with Daisy.

  Gillian dropped a kiss on Ryan’s cheek and squeezed Daisy’s hand on her way to Cal, who already held out a lovely, pale green drink in a champagne glass.

  “Death in the Afternoon. Absinthe and champagne,” Cal explained of the drink. She sipped. Lovely and sure to make her tipsy. A good combination.

  “Oh, nicely done, Calvin.”

  Cal kissed her cheek. “He’s going to be fine. Adrian is a decent guy.”

  She laughed. “I know I’m transparent. They wanted me to go too but I think they need some time alone and I suppose I could use some as well.” She shook her head, turning back to Mary, who bustled about her kitchen, totally in her element. “What’s on the menu tonight?”

  “Tandoori chicken, scallion pancakes, veggie pakoras, rice of course, curried, roasted cauliflower. Jules brought some new chocolate thingy that looks ridiculously awesome.”

  “Sit down. Tell us about your life of late.” Daisy patted a place on the long bench next to where she sat.

  “Here.” Mary put a platter down on the table heaping with pakoras. “Munch and chat. I’m going to see how these work out for the New Year’s Eve dinner that I will tell you right now if you do not attend I will be super pissy about.” She sent Gillian a look.

  “I promise. I’ve spoken with Adrian about it already so he’s in as well. Speaking of that, we’re still on for Sunday right?” Sunday was the day they’d chosen to do a gathering of all the friends and family. Mary had insisted on hosting it and making a huge feast.

  “Yep. I think it should be fun. I’m looking forward to meeting Erin. Miles loves his aunt. Maybe as much as me. A girl’s gotta keep an eye on the competition.”

  Gillian barked a laugh. “The two of them are very close. They clicked right away, and as you’ll see on Sunday, it’s rather impossible not to like her anyway. Still, never fear, Miles’s affections are not fickle. He still loves you to pieces.” Gillian took a bite of the pakora and sighed happily. “This is so good.”

  “I bet Erin Brown can’t make pakoras.” Mary sniffed and then grinned. “Try them with the hari chutney. It’s a new recipe and I don’t know which I prefer.”

  “She thinks we’d hesitate in this. I find that hilarious.” Cal shook his head and reached past Jules to dip the pakora in the vibrant green chut
ney.

  Gillian didn’t miss the way Jules leaned into him, just a brief touch. They had something and Gillian hoped it didn’t take them forever to figure it out.

  “I’m going to Miami with Adrian and Miles week after next.”

  “You need some clothes shopping for that trip.” Jules’s grin was infectious.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  Food began to appear on the table. Mary didn’t like anyone other than her designated assistant to be in her workspace, so Gillian sat and ate more pakoras than was proper but was helpless to stop.

  “He’s got a friend who’s in Europe on tour, apparently. I didn’t ask for names but it’s probably someone Miles would get all stuttery over. Anyway, the guy has a house on the water, complete with boat dock and swimming pool. Adrian wants to head up to Orlando to do theme parks the last three days. We’ll be back by Christmas, which he’s asked quite nicely if we’d spend with his family in Whistler at his house. Of course he has a house in a ski town.”

  “Honey, you don’t have the clothes for it. I promise to take you to some great places. We’ll find good deals. Let part of it be my holiday present to you.” Jules dished some chicken onto her plate and hummed before passing it to Daisy.

  “I have perfectly good clothes, thank you very much.”

  “You need several bathing suits if you’re going to be staying in a place with a pool. I know you don’t have one and you’ll need three.”

  “Three? Why would I need three?”

  Jules and Mary exchanged a look and Daisy just laughed. “Y’all lighten up on our Gillian. She’ll come shopping with us tomorrow before Miles comes back home. Won’t you? I promise we know all the best places for bargains.”

  “It’s ridiculous to spend all that money on new clothes.”

  “I bet you already set about buying Miles new things.” Mary said this knowing the truth of it.

  “Well, the boy outgrows his clothing at an alarming rate. He’s going to be meeting with Adrian’s professional team. He needs to look nice. And he needs a real winter coat if we’re to be in the snow.”