The Love We Had

by C Monet

  The Love We Had

  A Novella

  C. Monet

  B. Love Publications

  Copyright © 2019 by C. Monet

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Synopsis

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Synopsis

  Naomi has had the same dream over and over for years. That was to marry her high school sweetheart, Graysen. When that happens, she imagines life will be easy breezy much like everything else she has accomplished. However, with anything, life will do its best to tear it apart.

  On the brink of divorce, Naomi must take a step back and figure out what happened and what went wrong. She was the perfect wife to Graysen. She cooked, she cleaned, and she loved him before she knew he would be the be all and end all.

  But something happened.

  Graysen is a man with nothing but genuine love for Naomi, but he can’t seem to get that back. Being a wife to him is more than doing the chores. He wants her compassion, he wants her attention and a little affection. Never in a million years did he think he would be filing for divorce after begging her to give him all that he desires.

  Naomi and Graysen have a decision to make – leave it alone or remember the love they had. Racking her brain, she is forced to recount her steps in order to get the love of her life back. Will the love they had be enough to stick it out?

  1

  Naomi

  You know I never meant to let you down- Yuna

  “Charlotte, what time is the meeting today?” Charlotte Lago was my best friend and the best divorce lawyer in Coupeville. She’s now my personal lawyer. Five years ago I never could’ve imagined that I’d be need her services, but like anything else in life, shit happens. Soon I would be saying good riddance to a marriage that was supposed to last forever. It wasn’t really good riddance because I didn’t want the split. However, I reasoned that if I held that energy I wouldn’t feel like a complete failure when the ink dried. But I knew I would either way.

  Of course, I can’t say that I didn’t throw out the big D word in heated moments, but I never thought my husband, Graysen, would take my words as law. It was one of those things I said when I got mad because he cared more about his work than he did me. This was also something else I convinced myself. Graysen had and would always be the man that hung the moon and stars for me. I can admit I took it for granted and was paying dearly for it right now.

  “Naomi, I’m convinced you are purposely forgetting the time for our meeting. I thought you said this was what you wanted,” she mentioned. Fuck no, I didn’t mean I wanted a divorce. I was going along with this because I didn’t want to hold him back. Graysen was a financial consultant and he had a way with words. He promised that us divorcing didn’t mean the love was gone, it was business. I agreed like a fool and now I wish I had a chance to start over.

  “Charlotte you know I don’t want this, but what else is there to do?” I asked as if she had an answer for me. My mom always said that if you still loved your spouse then you should fight. I wanted to fight but I refused to beg. I was having a hard time determining the extent of the two. Begging a man that promised me forever made absolutely no sense but not fighting felt cowardly. I was at love’s crossroads and didn’t know whether to go left or right.

  “Fight, open your mouth, humble yourself shit you are a smart woman figure it out. Have you even talked to him?”

  “No, he’s been out of the country. I haven’t had a chance to.” I’ve tried more than I would like to admit to get him to change his mind. I promised I would give him all the things that he desired, and I didn’t; kids, a new home, trips and time off. Kids were high on the list, but I wasn’t ready when he was ready. I know that had a lot to do with him calling it quits.

  “Call him now. Maybe you can save this, sis. I know you two love each other and I always knew you and Gray would set the tone. Fix it for us,” she laughed. I rolled my eyes because our tone was set from what seemed like birth. Time was all I kept telling myself. Time would work this out for us. We just needed a minor separation. Time to put everything in perspective but now six months in, time hadn’t done a damn thing but blow past like a bullet.

  “I’ll see him later, this is just the meeting to make sure this is what we want, right?”

  “Yea, but keep in mind that you two have no children. It won’t take long for your final decree. If you plan to work some miracle, now is the time to get your life honey.”

  This wasn’t all Graysen’s fault and it also wasn’t all mine. If I begged Graysen more than what I felt I already had my pride would be crushed. It was different for me because he had always chased me. Even as kids he wouldn’t leave me alone. The pursuit was on from the minute he laid eyes on my smooth praline-colored skin and curly hair in the hallways of Coupeville High. The idea of him not chasing me this time made me nauseous. We were married and to me, that didn’t mean the chase ended. You reached the finish line of one race, not all of them.

  “So what time again?”

  “Five, sis, call him and see what you can do. I’ll see you later.”

  I agreed to meet her a little early for a late coffee and disconnected. Spinning in my big chair I looked around my office. My walls were littered with plaques from my many accomplishments but the image that stuck out the most was the one from our wedding. We looked happy, no correction, we were happy. We had promise, we had real genuine love; so much love - we were basically obsessed with one another. As I stared at the accomplishments, a prick hit my heart strong. My wedding photo didn’t deserve to be on the wall with my plaques for being the most sought after interior designer in Coupeville. What we had was more than that. It was on a completely different level. I designed with love and passion in mind, but maybe I hadn’t loved my husband with that same passion. This was a mess and figuring out how to untangle it would be harder than a college thesis paper.

  You love what you do more than you love him. My mother's words were loud and clear. It was never my intention to make my occupation my spouse, but success required all of you. What started out as something small became something larger than I could dream. Designing for celebrities, businesses and of course my smaller clients is how I made my living. Even as a little kid you could find me rearranging my room, studying Feng Shui, falling in love with colors and patterns. I graduated with my business degree because I knew I couldn’t work for anyone else and I started She Shui from the ground up. Now I had seven people working for me and a waiting list that was two years long.

  Work was the one consistent thing in my life, and even that didn’t seem the same now. I missed Graysen, but I was too stubborn to tell him. Mostly, I feared that he didn’t miss me back. My phone was in my hand, I stared at it. I should text him and just check in. When he broke the news he said we would remain friends, but I felt like that was something to say to soften the blow.

  “Text him, boss,” I heard from my door. It was my assistant, Chris. I smiled and shook my head because over the few years she had become more than my assistant, Chris was a good friend. She was not on the level of Charlotte but a friend that I could confide in.

  “I can’t bring myself to do it, but I will see him later.”

  “You are beautifu
l Naomi and you deserve to have everything you want. It will take work and you know this. Look around you,” she said motioning her hands to my snooty, decked out office. Naomi Chase-Belton had come a long way. She was right, I was beautiful, but I felt like a goober inside.

  “No pain, no gain right?” I hoped that this trial would show me something. I was patiently waiting for the lesson, but it wasn’t coming fast enough. I felt myself spinning uncontrollably. This thing with me and Graysen was like a dying flower. I felt myself on most days gasping for air when he wasn’t around because he had been the source of air for so long. When I couldn’t call him I felt my chest tighten because his voice made my heart beat. In my opinion, this had gone on long enough. I wanted my husband to come home. Living life without him didn’t seem plausible. He was life.

  “Right, I’m heading out for the day. Keep me posted, ok?”

  “Ok, see you tomorrow.”

  Standing, I dusted off my grey pencil skirt and stood at the large window. My thoughts immediately went back to when I first met my silly husband. It was ninth grade and the first day of school in fact. I remembered being nervous, so nervous that I almost didn’t show. My older brother Mario had told me all the horrific stories about high school and I was scared shitless of having meat thrown on me or a paper tossed my way. According to Mario that was like the right of passage for what they donned as ‘freshmeat”. I begged him to tell his friends not to mess with me, but he ignored me. “Sis it’s the way of high school, we all had to go through it,” he preached. Mario was the captain of the football team and I knew he had some pull.

  Walking through the large double doors, I kept my head down as I made my way to my first period class. That was when I saw him, or he saw me. Standing tall for his age at six foot. He had on baggy blue jeans and an Evisu shirt that looked to be way too big for him and some Air Force Ones. He was fresh for the first day, much like everyone else. It was as if we both brought our heads up at the same time. I smiled curtly as he tossed a wide white grin my way. His smile stood out because he was fairly dark. He waved my way and I waved back. His face changed, and I looked behind me to see another girl running to embrace him. She all but pushed me out the way to jump in his arms. He spun her around and I was so damn embarrassed. Words couldn’t describe how quickly I ran to my first period to hide my humiliation.

  Thinking back now it seemed as if me and Gray were destined for this shit here. It wasn’t love at first sight. That was what I always dreamed of. As a child, even up until my junior year I sought out a storybook love. Girl meets fine ass boy, they hold hands walking home from school, share a kiss under the stars, her leg kicks up and that seals the deal of a lifelong love.

  At thirty-one I knew that was some bullshit. What the stories didn’t share was that it started like that, but the road wasn’t as simple. Careers flourished and pushed people apart, death changed your outlook on life, and finding time to spend together was damn near impossible. It was just a bunch of crap and words on paper. No one was living life like that and that was when the disappointment kicked in.

  After working on our freshman exit project things changed between us. He saw me for something and I saw him for a lot of something. He and his girlfriend had broken up and still to this day I don’t know what for. I didn’t care back then, it wasn’t my problem it was my solution. It was then that he started the chase. Notes in my locker, math equations that meant something to us and constantly following me to the library. I would sit and read my Beverly Jenkins novels as he sat and read right along beside me. Those were some of the best days. It was also when he moved right next door to me.

  From that point, it was me and Graysen. We exuded everything relationship goals were about back then and up to about a year ago. I always felt that if we could survive college we could survive anything. What a wake-up call? We survived college and that was about it. The plateau we were in currently was real as fuck and required a lot from two prideful individuals. I didn’t know how this would work out, but I knew it needed to work. As Charlotte mentioned, we were the mold. Our friends and colleagues looked up to us. We had to pull it together and continue our love story. It would probably kill me if we didn’t. But right now, I couldn’t find the cheat code to come back from being served divorce papers.

  2

  Graysen

  That old lonesome feeling took me by surprise- Dru Hill

  Stepping from the car I buttoned my suit and took off for the building. I was stepping with as much confidence as I could. Divorcing Naomi seemed like gentrification and not the good kind. My heart bled from the shit, but I had to push forward. It was as if I was only doing this to prove a point. She wanted me to chase her and for once I wanted her to fight for me. I wanted her to show me that she wanted me. Shit was simple but not to Princess Naomi.

  Our whole relationship has been based on some dream novel. She was writing, and I was just co-starring. She wanted picture perfect and would shut down on me each time that didn’t happen. I had grown tired of her threatening to divorce me if I didn’t do this or do that. And nothing she asked of me was absurd or out of my reach, it was just that her efforts didn’t match.

  Naomi was the finest woman in the world to me. She still holds a special place in my heart. She’s the twinkle in my eye. She was perfect if you judged beauty by what the eyes could see, but her soul had become bitter. One detour from the path turned her for the worse. I couldn’t tell her that because she wouldn’t hear it.

  “Mr. Belton, she’s early,” my lawyer educated. I braced myself because I hadn’t seen much of her since we split. It was killing me inside to be apart, sleeping in separate houses and not even texting much. It was those things that I took for granted in the first place. And those things that she refused to do without me pushing.

  This was all my fault. I worked too much and when she wanted me I left her to wonder if I would be home. I pushed everything I wanted on her and expected her to just agree. And when I came home ready to talk or hear her out she was turned off and on her piece of success. Both me and Naomi came from nothing. We had the basics, but we didn’t have a silver spoon. So working was a must, gaining wealth was essential to my ego. She just wanted me. I was a slave to my entry-level job back then and couldn’t see it. I wanted the American dream and she just wanted the dream. We fell off and now would have to scramble to get back.

  If I had to be honest me making partner was the moment things faltered in my opinion. I couldn’t be sure because when Naomi shut down she shut down completely. That night she looked at me with so much disappointment and anger. Stupidly, I made the decision to stay at work more so I didn’t have to see the many faces of discontent. Addressing it head on seemed to require so much of me. She didn’t understand she couldn’t. At that time Naomi hadn’t figured out what she wanted to do with her life or degree. So for me to just graduate and get a job may have frustrated her. I needed her to talk and she refused and I refused to beg.

  “Let’s do this,” I said, holding my head up. Walking in the room our eyes locked. Much like they did when we first met. She was so cute back then with her button nose, high cheekbones and short frame. But looking at her across the room now in her business attire shook my core. I missed her wide hazel eyes, her heart-shaped face, and big ass forehead.

  She waved and crossed her legs, damn those legs always wrapped around my body like a water hose. Those were the first legs I ever caressed. The only legs I’ve ever climbed between. Shaking my head I smiled back and sat across from her. I tried not to make eye contact. She had a way of convincing me with her hypnotizing eyes. If I stared too long I was going home and saying fuck my apartment.

  “Thank you all for coming and being prompt. This won’t take long. Mr. Belton, I understand that you would like to dissolve this marriage under the grounds of irreconcilable differences correct?”

  The way he said dissolve made me uncomfortable. We would never be able to dissolve the memories of what we shared. We wouldn’t be abl
e to get those moments back, but I never planned to forget it. I could see it in her face that she was uncomfortable. Hell, I was uncomfortable because this was my own doing. I didn’t see the point in having an attorney if we had to sit through what felt like torture. But the more her beautiful face caught my eye I didn’t recognize the woman sitting in front of me.

  “Is there another word you could use?” I asked winking at her. Still to this day Naomi was the only woman that had managed to capture my heart on a level that couldn’t be explained. Her well being was still on my list of priorities. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable or get the wrong impression about what we were doing.

  “Well sir, quite frankly that would essentially be what you are doing unless adultery is the cause.”

  “Fine, proceed,” I instructed with a wave of my hand and a sip of water. My mouth was dry and my forehead sweating. The longer we sat the more this felt like a big mistake. But I was taught to never show my hand. Maybe I was bluffing and maybe I wasn’t. I couldn’t let her, or our longtime friend Charlotte know. I was already catching her roll of the eyes and antsy movements. She wasn’t happy about being in the middle of this, I could tell.

  “I don’t understand why you are doing this,” she admitted from across the table. I couldn’t look at her because I didn’t have an answer that would erase the petty I felt coursing through my veins. She knew why. We had this conversation. I had deal breakers much like her and she cared a little too late for me.

  “Mimi, you know why.”

  “Tell me to my face why we are here right now, across from each other like strangers, like we don’t have years of history.”