Silencing Memories

by Desiree Holt

  Stop it, you asshole. Do your job.

  “Let’s move you out of the way,” he told her in a soft, soothing voice.

  And away from the temptation to take you to bed instead of figuring out what was going on here.

  In all the years he’d been in this business, he’d never felt such strong temptation where a client was concerned. Not even with the women he took to bed. When he was alone, he’d give both his heads—big and little—a stern talking to.

  He guided her over to a chair where she stretched out her injured leg. Just looking at it stoked his anger, and he clenched his fists to get himself under control. God, he was just losing it all over the place. Then he printed out two copies of the email as he’d done with the previous one. He handed one to the Guardian agent who was already speaking into his cell phone in low tones.

  “Th-There was someone there today, Nick.” Her voice shook. “Look how close the person was who took this picture.”

  “Don’t worry.” His voice was steady and calming, even as he kept wanting to kick his own ass for making a rookie mistake. “We’re surrounding you with the best.” He indicated the man who’d come into the office with him. “This is Tony Sullivan, Reno’s brother. He’s going to be my personal backup on this.”

  Tony nodded. “Miss Ferrell.”

  She gave him a shaky smile. “The big brass, huh?

  Tony winked. “Nah, we let Reno think that’s him.” He studied the photo. “Looks like whoever pushed you moved back with his camera. Which means today’s episode wasn’t necessarily meant to kill.”

  “It came damn close to it,” Nick growled. “Come on, Lindsey. Let’s get you out of the office. Tony, get everyone back up here and get hold of our IT guy.”

  “Already done. You take care of the lady.”

  Nick led her into the apartment and coaxed her to the couch. He blotted her tears with his handkerchief, then gave her the square of white linen to hold.

  “I’ll be right back.” He returned with a plastic baggy filled with ice cubes, a towel, and more aspirin and water. “Here, take these.”

  She swallowed them down. “I think everything’s starting to ache now,” she apologized, lying back on the couch.

  “I’m not surprised.” A muscle twitched in his cheek. “Here.” He lifted the edge of her skirt with the same gentleness he’d used earlier, placed the towel over her injury and the ice cubes on top of that. “Keep this on there. It looks swollen, and you were limping. Are you okay by yourself here for a little bit while I take care of some things?”

  She nodded, blinking back a fresh round of tears. “Sorry. I seem to be a leaky faucet today. I want you to know this is not who I am at all.”

  Nick swore softly and touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “I didn’t think so. I can feel your strength, Linds, but today would make even a grown man weep.” He couldn’t stop himself from lightly stroking her cheek. “Okay. Just hang tight here and give me a few minutes.”

  He noticed her looking over his shoulder and turned. Tony had entered and stood a discreet distance away.

  Nick waved him forward, then turned back to Lindsey. “Like I said earlier, Tony’s going to be the number two man on this job. I need an extra pair of eyes and hands, and these are the best available. Most of the time, you won’t even know he’s around.”

  “Thank you so much,” she told them, looking from one to the other. “I appreciate everything you’re all doing.”

  Like nearly getting you killed. Nick would never forgive himself for that.

  “Tony and I are going back into the office, Lindsey. He’s going to do some security work on your computer, and I’m going to see what Guardian has come up with. I also want to call Detective McCune, just to let him know what happened and shoot him a copy of the email. I’ll be in the next room, okay? You can holler if you need me.”

  She nodded. “I’ll be fine. You do what you have to.”

  “Good girl.” He smiled, his heart nearly breaking at the sight of her, and went back into her office.

  ****

  The aspirins soothed Lindsey a little, and her knee throbbed less with the ice on it. She closed her eyes, resting her head on the soft pillows of the couch, and tried to make herself relax. No good. The image of that picture kept flashing across her mind. She tried to think of everyone she knew, everyone she came in contact with, anyone who could hate her so much they’d do something this vicious. Who could want to destroy her life like this? What had she ever done to anyone to make him or her take such vicious actions?

  Out of nowhere a nasty thought struck her. Did this person somehow have something to do with her mother’s sudden heart attack? No, that would really be reaching. But she had yet to receive a satisfactory explanation, so was the idea really so farfetched? Maybe she could get Nick or one of his men to question the people at the nursing home again.

  She rubbed her forehead, trying to ease away the tension, and felt herself drifting off.

  A soft touch on her arm roused her.

  “I’ve talked to McCune.” Nick knelt beside the couch. “He was going to come by and take a report, but I gave him all the information he’d need over the telephone. There still isn’t much he can do, but at least now he knows we’re dealing with more than a harmless prankster.”

  Lindsey shuddered. “We certainly are.”

  “Whoever this is has planted a virus to mask his own address with one from your address book,” he went on. “Tony will take care of it and put in some new security settings. They’ll block out all email attachments, as well as emails from any source not already in your address book. It may be inconvenient for a while, but I don’t want you opening any more attachments like that last one.” His gaze scanned her face. “Can you sit up?”

  “Yes.” She gave him a lopsided grin and rose slowly to a sitting position, pushing the ice aside. “If I have to.”

  Nick helped her adjust her position so she was more comfortable. “I had to decide what the best option would be for tonight. All things considered, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to the ranch. Ruben and Mary would wonder why you’re limping, and you’d have to go through the hassle of explaining everything to them.”

  “Oh, Lord.” She rubbed her face. “I didn’t think of that.”

  “I don’t think staying here is so great, either, but it’s the better choice of the two. We’re shutting down everything in the office, machines and all, for the night. Guardian will monitor the alarm, which I put on high security alert. We’ll keep all the drapes closed and the lights low. Tony will be in charge of external surveillance along with a couple of other guys on night duty.”

  Her eyes widened in terror. “You think he’ll come here, whoever this is?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I don’t think anything else will happen tonight. He’s had his fun for the day. But just in case he’s hanging around somewhere with his camera, we don’t need to take any more chances.”

  “You’re right about not going to the ranch,” she agreed. “Ruben would take one look at me and know something else had happened. He’d be out in his truck with his shotgun shooting anyone who even looked suspicious.” She smiled ruefully. “I think he’s a little overprotective of me.”

  “Unlike me, who nearly got you killed today,” Nick said roughly.

  “Please don’t keep beating yourself up about that. Everything happened so fast. How could you have expected it?”

  “Lindsey, I’ve built my reputation on being the best in the business. When we started out, private security was the bulk of what I did. Even as a neophyte I never let anything like this happen. And believe me, it won’t happen again.”

  She nibbled on her lower lip. “I only have the one bedroom here, though.”

  He thumped a cushion on the couch. “I’ve slept on a lot worse than this,” he teased. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.” When she didn’t make a move to get up, he cocked his head. “What? Another problem?
”

  “I know you’ll think this is way out in left field, but something just occurred to me.”

  He crouched down in front of her. “Right now nothing is too wild, so let’s have it.”

  When she finished telling him about her mother’s heart attack, he frowned. “And no one could give you a reason? There hadn’t been any unusual cardiac activity prior to it? She was stable?”

  Lindsey nodded. “What if whoever is doing this to me somehow did something to my mother? Scared her, or something, so badly she had the attack?”

  “I agreed it’s reaching, but I can’t rule anything out. While we’re eating, tell me everything about the nursing home, and Guardian will send someone to sniff things out.”

  “Thank you so much.” Tears flooded her eyes again, and without realizing it, she leaned forward, put her arms around his neck, and hugged him.

  Heat flooded her at the intimate contact, and Nick’s body tensed. They both froze, as if the wrong button had been pushed. The atmosphere between them had definitely changed.

  Lindsey snatched her arms back, trying to pretend her impulsive action hadn’t happened, but they both knew it had.

  Nick rose slowly, avoiding her eyes, and helped her to her feet. “It’s okay. Really. Now I think you need a good hot shower, and then I’m going to clean that knee again. Tony is bringing us some Chinese food. I hope that’s okay.”

  “You sent your partner’s brother for carryout?” She was incredulous.

  “He’ll eat while he’s there so it’s no big deal.” Nick grinned. “He has to eat anyway and walk back here, so carrying a little sack shouldn’t exert him too much. Go take your shower. I’ll take one after you, so we can eat when he gets back.”

  In the bathroom, she stripped off her clothes and tossed them in the hamper. She’d built the apartment when she’d decided she needed a place to stay for those nights she worked late in town. Leasing the unit next door and turning it into a small apartment turned out to be a smart choice. And she’d allowed herself a lot of luxuries. One of her treats was an overlarge freestanding shower with glass blocks on two sides and a wide door on the third. Showerheads were built into multiple locations along the wall.

  She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it and let it pummel her body with its jets, easing the soreness in her muscles. But the one thing it couldn’t do was wash away the feel of Nick when she’d hugged him or the clean scent of his cologne that teased at her nose.

  Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the tiled wall of the shower and lathered her breasts. It was so easy to imagine Nick’s hands touching her as she cupped her breasts, squeezing the flesh, hefting their fullness. She pinched her nipples with her fingers, imagining they were Nick’s fingers. Imagining him tugging on them before putting his mouth to them and lightly biting each one.

  Heat with the force of a thunderbolt streaked right to her core, setting up little spasms in the walls of her sex. The more she tormented her nipples, the more intense the internal spasms. She wanted him inside her in a way she’d never craved another man, his cock filling her, his mouth on her everywhere.

  She slid her soap-slicked hand down past her abdomen to the folds of her sex, easing one finger into the slit, and—

  She jerked her hand back, breathing hard.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  Nick Vanetta would never be interested in her that way. Imagining it would only complicate an already dangerous problem.

  I should wash my brain while I’m washing my body and hope to fill it with nothing but common sense.

  But when she turned off the water and reached for a towel, the pulse in her sex still thrummed with need and her nipples still ached. It was going to be a damn long night.

  ****

  “Special delivery.”

  Nick answered Tony’s knock and took the paper sack from him. “Thanks.”

  “Do I get a tip?”

  “Yeah. Here’s a tip,” Nick said gloomily. “Take better care of your clients than I seem to do.”

  “I think the self-flagellation’s getting a little heavy,” Tony said. “We need to focus on what to do from here on in. Besides, there’s a hell of a big difference between sending weird messages and trying to kill someone. I looked at the file you gave me. There’s no indication of any threat to harm at all.”

  “Except someone tried to throw her under a bus today,” Nick reminded him, still disgusted with himself.

  “Yeah, right. I’ll let you know if we find anything. Meanwhile, your dinner’s getting cold.”

  Nick closed the door after Tony, set the alarm, and leaned against the kitchen counter. The one thing he hadn’t discussed with his friend was his feelings for Lindsey. He was past the point of denying they were far more complicated than he wanted to acknowledge.

  She was so totally different than the women he usually dated. With eyes like liquid pools of melted chocolate and hair like newly spun dark silk, this softly rounded package of dynamite was stealing his heart one tiny piece at a time. How had it happened so fast? How was it possible to want someone so desperately in so little time?

  He shook his head. She was a client, for God’s sake, and a frightened one at that. He would never take advantage of her in such a vulnerable state. Except he wanted her, all of her, in a way he’d never wanted anything or anyone else in his life.

  Sighing, he lined the takeout cartons up on the counter and went to get Lindsey. This was liable to be a very long night.

  Chapter Nine

  From the bathroom, Lindsey heard the sound of voices but not what they were saying, and she guessed Tony had returned with their food. The shower had washed away the rest of the grit from her fall, but now her leg throbbed again. She’d need to put more medicine and ice on it.

  In a way, that was a good thing. It distracted, as much as anything could, from the intense sexual craving for Nick that shocked the hell out of her. Like a jack-in-the-box, it had popped up and taken her over. She had to hide this from him, however she had to do it. She just hoped when she fell asleep tonight, it wasn’t to dream about the two of them naked in bed.

  Spraying cologne on her pulse points to lift her spirits, she looked around for something comfortable to put on. She’d hurried into the bathroom without taking anything from her closet first, and now she only had her long terry robe hanging on the back of the door. It didn’t zip or button, just wrapped and tied with a thick belt. She didn’t even have underwear with her. While Nick was in the kitchen, she’d have to try and slide into her closet and find something a little more respectable.

  Sighing, she sat at the vanity and dried her hair, then took a look at herself in the mirror. A stranger stared back at her. The face she saw had a pinched look and world-class shadows smudged beneath her eyes.

  I look like hell.

  She rose to head for her closet, but when she opened the bathroom door and started to step through the opening, there was Nick, hand raised, ready to knock. They were so close a sheet of paper would barely have fit between them. He’d taken off his jacket and tie, and she could see the well-worn shoulder holster that fit so invisibly under his clothes. His collar was loose, and he’d rolled up his sleeves, revealing the fine dark hair on his arms.

  They stood motionless for a moment before he moved her back into the bathroom.

  “Sit down on that bench,” he ordered, backing her up to the vanity. “I need to see about your leg again.”

  “It’s—it’s okay,” she stammered. “I can take care of it. “

  “I said sit down,” he growled, then blew out a breath. “Jesus, you’re stubborn,”

  The bench hit the back of her knees, and she dropped onto it. She knew she should get up, but she just sat there, immobilized, while Nick pulled out the supplies from her medicine cabinet.

  He knelt on the floor in front of her and reached for her leg. As he moved it forward, the edges of her robe fell away. His hand, slightly calloused, rested on her skin, and his brea
th hissed through his teeth.

  Lindsey bit her lip and resisted the urge to squeeze her thighs together. Could he tell a wave of strong desire was rushing through her? Was the scent of her musk coating the inside of her thighs, reaching his nose and telling him how badly she wanted him? What would he think if she brushed his hand aside, opened her legs, and dragged his head down to her sex?

  Holy shit, Lindsey? Where is all this coming from?

  She couldn’t recall ever feeling such intense desire for a man. Ever. Never. Certainly not since she’d learned about what one asshole called her defective situation. She bit down harder on her lip to distract herself from this wave of desire. Hopefully Nick would think it was just a reaction to the pain.

  Nick couldn’t breathe. His heart pounded so hard he was sure Lindsey could hear it. The thick layers of her hair swung forward as she dipped her head, and her eyes, behind the glasses that turned him on so much, were wide and dewy. He tried to tamp down the stirring in his groin and send a strong message to his misbehaving cock.

  It wasn’t just the sexual appeal that got him. She was the whole package—smart, feisty, knowledgeable, talented. Even her slight meltdown today didn’t take away from her inherent and obvious strength. That was what turned him on.

  Lindsey sat there, unmoving. She looked up at him, and he could see the erratic beat of her pulse at the hollow of her throat. He didn’t know if it was his heart thundering so loudly or hers, and there was a roaring in his ears.

  Don’t do this.

  If he did, there would be no going back. And if she pushed him away, the case would be compromised. But he couldn’t seem to help himself. Taking her face in his hands, his fingers gentle on her skin, he leaned slightly forward and kissed her. He meant for it to be nothing more than a light touching of lips, but the first contact took away what breath he had left.