The Diary Of An Expectant Father (The Diary Of A Father Book 1)
Page 14
sent me back to sleep.
Work was bad today. Jane is in one of her moods. It wasn’t my fault I was late; I slept in. My alarm went off, but I’d taken my phone into the kitchen when I’d made a drink in the night and didn’t hear it going off. She didn’t say anything to me today, but says we’ll talk about it on Friday before we knock off for the weekend.
Friday August 10th 2012
Jane was slamming about at work all day, telling me what to do, even though I was already doing the jobs that she was telling me I had to do.
I was hoping she’d forgotten about meeting up before the end of the day as I wanted to get home and make sure Alison hadn’t gone through the floorboards while trying to rid herself of restless legs. I was almost out the door when she called me back.
Apparently I am on my final warning from her. If I am late or do not attend work again for whatever reason, she says she’ll have to speak to HR. She said that she will be thinking about what to do with me over the weekend and that I should prepare myself for a tough week next week.
Just like Jane to tell me that on a Friday and completely ruin the weekend for me.
I can’t think of anything else. What if I lose my job completely and can’t find another one? I’ve never had to listen to people talk to me like this before, but as I’m now having to make sure we do have money coming in I’ve got to learn to put up with it. I’d have never even let her get past ‘I thought we were meeting’ if the situation was different. I’d have told her where she could shove her deep fat fryer. I might have even called her a deep fat fryer.
I didn’t tell Alison. She doesn’t need anymore to worry about.
The restless legs seem to wait until she is ready to go to sleep before they attack her. She still won’t have a bath though.
I spent the evening trying not to think about what could happen next week at work. My head kept taking me back to the conversation with Jane. I know that she shouldn’t have spoken to me on a Friday like that, no good manager would. Jane isn’t a good manager, though, and she wanted me to feel terrible all weekend. That was her plan and it looks like it’s going to work and I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. I think I’m more upset that I allowed myself to be spoken to like that.
11.20 p.m.
Alison finally tried having a bath this evening. She said it helped while she was in there, but not after, so couldn’t see the point of doing it again. I was too caught up thinking about work and snapped at her for having the gall to speak while my head was in a mental argument with Jane.
That’s the second night in a week that Alison has gone to bed crying. I’m not proud that tonight it was me that caused it.
Saturday August 11th 2012
I woke up early this morning; I wanted to get up and make Alison breakfast. Alison wasn’t interested, though, and was up and dressed before I got out the bathroom. She said she was going to her mother's for the day and then left without saying anything more.
I sat around all morning trying to think of a way out of the situation I’m in at work. I know some of it is my fault, but I also know that I shouldn’t be spoken to the way the Jane speaks to me. In between thinking I kept having mental arguments in my head with Jane. I have planned out every way that Monday can go. Unfortunately, I can’t actually say what I’ve planned out as I’ll lose my job and until I’ve sorted college out I need it.
Alison returned this evening after not replying to my text messages all day. I knew she’d read them as there is a little bit in the text box that tells me when they’ve been opened.
She was still in her mood. I tried and tried to sort things out, but she was still frosty before she went to bed. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I could be losing my job. The book says that any amount of stress is not good for the baby or the mother so there is little point adding to the stress I’ve already caused by snapping at her.
I’m hoping it’ll pass as I want to put my hand on her belly and connect with my son.
Sunday August 12th 2012
Alison was fine this morning. It seems she’d dished out a sentence of one day's silent treatment and that has now passed.
She wants me to start talking to the baby. I haven’t said anymore than 'hello' yet and it feels weird, talking to her belly. I asked her if she had yet and she said she was doing it all of yesterday with her dad. He was singing to her belly, too, apparently.
There’s nothing in my book about talking to the belly. I’m going to take one star off the glowing review I had planned to write for it.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel more comfortable talking to her belly; at the moment I’m happy with the little kicks I get back most of the time I put my hand on there.
Monday August 13th 2012
Jane wasn’t in today, she had one of her made up ‘meetings’ that she tells us about before coming into work the next day with new hair and nails. She’s so selfish. I’ve got another night’s worrying to do. Boris looked disappointed, too, when we got the message from chef that she wouldn’t be in. Mind you, chef does throw more stuff at Boris when Jane isn’t there; I’d be disappointed, too, if I knew I was in for a day of being a target.
Tuesday August 14th 2012
Jane was in today. She didn’t mention anything about HR. I was getting wound up with how she’d been on Friday, threatening me and ruining my weekend, only to not even bother to show up on Monday. Just before we were due to leave, I asked her if there was anything more coming from HR and she looked at me like she didn’t know what I was talking about, then laughed and said not to worry about it as she walked out, taking her new hair with her.
Saturday August 18th 2012
We’re down to the final month count down now. Alison is taking pictures of herself and her bump in the mirror. I’ve got a sense of impending doom. She’s got her midwife appointment next week; after that they’ll see her every week. She’s going on her own now as it’s getting to the point where it’s more and more intimate and she’s still embarrassed about that stuff. I don’t mind. I can’t take more time off work anyway and to be honest I always feel like a spare part in those situations.
The birth could realistically be any day now though.
Sunday August 19th 2012
I asked Alison today if she’s got her overnight bag packed. She hadn’t and it took me all afternoon to motivate her into doing it. I did offer to begin with, but all that seemed to do was motivate Alison to point out a list of my weaknesses. Not just packing weaknesses, either, general life ones.
The bag is packed now, though, and we’re ready for the off. I’ve checked the car tyres and have made sure there’s enough petrol in to get us to the hospital and back again. I think that’s everything I need to be prepared.
Wednesday August 22nd 2012
Alison has had her midwife appointment today, and they’ve filled her in as to how it will go. As we approach the 11th September, she’ll have access to the mobile number of the midwife. We thought she already had that, but it turns out there’s another one that they actually answer, saved for when the time comes. She was told that if she’s not had it by the time the due date comes, they’ll be round that day to check on her, then again seven days after that. If they haven’t seen anything like movement on the second visit, they’ll book her in there and then for inducement, which is when they kickstart things for us. They don’t like to leave the baby in there for longer than ten days past due date for first-time mothers. I’m not sure Alison could take much more than the due date without the skin on her belly just splitting. She is massive now. Her mum’s been round most days helping out as she can’t go out the house on her own. She gets tired at the drop of a hat and it can come on at any time. It’s not safe to be out alone.
Friday August 24th 2012
Boris was so drunk at work he fell asleep in the toilet. I could see his trousers poking under the bottom of the cubicle. I didn’t report him to Jane, it’s not my job to keep tabs on him. To my disgust though, when it came to time t
o get the fish in the fryer, she just told me to do it. I couldn’t complain without telling her where Boris was and I’ve learnt not to do that as she’ll only find some way of blaming me. When Boris still wasn’t back after serving I had to load the dishwasher with all the plates and then scrub the pots and pans, which had food all dried on as they’d been left. I didn’t see Boris until I was leaving; he had somehow managed to get himself a lift home in Jane’s car.
I’m glad it’s Friday.
Sunday August 26th 2012
We’re nearing the two week period. There’s been no twitches or anything, despite everyone we’ve ever known asking every five minutes.
I’m not that fazed about it. It’s still in the incomprehensible stage. I know it’s only a matter of weeks away, but I’ve never been through it before so I don’t know what’s coming and I think I’ve got the type of brain that just blocks things like that out and puts them in the ‘I hope it’s OK’ part of my mind. I’ll probably just start panicking one day and have to be given a brown paper bag.
Both sets of parents were round today, all trying to find something to do to help. There wasn’t much they could do except relax and stop stressing us out. Alison’s mum offered to be there at the birth; I was a little annoyed about this, I mean it’s like blatantly saying to my face that