Damaged (Damaged Series Book 1)

by J. Benson

  I closed my suitcase with some difficulty, and brought it downstairs. I placed it near the door. From just a quick look around I could tell that my mother hadn't been home since our fight, and I was okay with that. I was still angry enough that I hoped I never saw her again. I was happy and eager to be going back to Tulsa. Tulsa felt more like home than ever.

  I managed to get dressed, and make it downstairs before Taylor even got out of the shower. I somehow managed to drag my suitcase downstairs with some difficulty. It felt like it weighed a thousand extra pounds. I poured two bowls of cereal and waited for Taylor to come downstairs before I poured the milk in.

  Our flight was uninterrupted and problem free. Again I slept from the moment I laid my head on Taylor's shoulder until we landed. And Taylor laid his cheek against my hair and tucked me in his arms as he slept. I woke up feeling rested and peaceful.

  When we arrived in Tulsa, Taylor's brother Ethan was there to pick us up. Our flight was a little late, but he didn't even seem to mind.

  "Hey, guys." He clapped Taylor's hand in a complicated handshake. Taylor released my hand, and lifted my luggage into the back of Ethan's truck. I insisted on sitting in the back seat with the luggage, and Taylor easily helped me inside before climbing into the front to sit with his older brother.

  Ethan waited until we were in the car before he continued his line of questioning. "How was your flight?"

  "Great." Taylor replied from the front seat.

  I glanced out the window quietly.

  "Did you have a good time?" Ethan grinned slyly.

  I felt myself blush, knowing exactly what he was insinuating.

  "Just drive, Ethan." Taylor grumbled, clearly as embarrassed as I was.

  "Sorry." Ethan smirked. "Touchy? Maybe overly so?"

  "Drop it." Taylor grumbled.

  The only sound in the car was the sound of the radio until we pulled up in front of my grandmother's house. Her car was not in the driveway. This seemed strange. Usually her weekends were free, and today was Sunday. Ordinarily, she would be planning a huge Sunday dinner.

  "Thank you for the ride, Ethan." I said as I climbed out of the back seat. "I appreciate you picking us up."

  I circled around the back of Ethan's truck and reached for my suitcase. Taylor was at my side in a minute, helping me hoist my bags out of the back seat. He did it without difficulty, and I was sure I'd never be able to get my overly full suitcase out by myself.

  "I can do it." I offered.

  "That's okay. So can I..." He smirked.

  I tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ear. "Well, thank you for coming with me. You have no idea how helpful you were." I admitted, chewing at my lip. I was oddly conscious of the fact that Taylor's older brother was watching us. I could see his reflection watching us from the passenger's side mirror.

  "No problem, Emma. It was my pleasure to go with you... I'm just glad you didn't have to go through all of that alone." He reached out and lightly brushed his thumb across my cheek.

  I smiled, nestling my cheek into his warm palm.

  "I should let you go." I mused. "We don't want to leave your brother waiting for you." I mused.

  "Right." He smiled. He leaned toward me and kissed me lightly. "I'll give you a call later, okay?"

  I smiled and nodded. "See you later."

  I began searching through my purse for my keys with one hand as I walked carefully up the icy path with my suitcase trailing behind me.

  I heard Taylor say something to his brother, but didn't catch what was said. I unlocked the door, and I turned to see why the truck was still in the driveway, but as I turned, Ethan's truck backed out of the driveway.

  "What's going on?" I asked as Taylor appeared next to me, picking up the bag that I had dropped.

  "I'm going to walk back to the house a little later." He supplied. "For now, I'm going to stay with you... is that okay?" He asked.

  I nodded slowly and yawned.

  "See? You're exhausted. At least let me carry your stuff inside for you." He said with a grin.

  "Okay." I agreed. I was feeling unusually tired. I couldn't explain why I was so tired. I had slept on the plane.

  I led him in the door, and promptly removed my coat. He did the same and hung his coat next to mine in the hall closet.

  "Where do you want this? Upstairs?" He asked, tucking my bag under his arm as if it weighed absolutely nothing at all.

  "I guess so." I agreed, following close behind him.

  He placed the bag next to my closet. I sat down on the edge of the bed and yawned.

  "You're tired."

  I nodded. "I really don't know why I'm so tired...."

  "We had a busy weekend." He shrugged, sitting next to me on the bed.

  "I know... and speaking of being busy, what exactly did your brother keep insinuating in the car?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. I had a pretty good idea of what was being hinted at, but I wanted to know for sure.

  Taylor seemed suddenly embarrassed. His cheeks turned a slightly shade of pink. He awkwardly dragged the palm of his hand across the back of his neck and avoided making eye contact with me. "He seems to think we ran off to the city to spend the whole weekend having sex." He sighed. "In fact, he's pretty convinced that's what happened... I'll give him hell for bringing it up when I get home." He added quickly.

  I nodded.

  "Do you want me to make you dinner or anything before I go?"

  "You don't have to cook for me!" I cried, playfully pushing him. "I'm not really that hungry anyway."

  He smiled. "I don't think that's healthy. I mean, you shouldn't skip meals. I've never skipped a meal in my life." He pressed. "I could always teach you to cook..."

  "That would work." I smiled and suppressed another yawn. "Although I'm a horrible student. I can't boil water to make pasta." I mused.

  "Some other time we'll give it a shot. Emma, you're exhausted. Do you want me to stay or get out of here so you can sleep?" He offered.

  I smiled. "You can stay if you want... if you don't mind."

  He grinned.

  "What? Did you think I was going to ask you to stay?" I questioned.

  "No... I just thought you might need me..." He shrugged.

  "What made you think that?" I challenged, turning my entire body to face him.

  He smiled, reaching out and lightly touching my lips. "You've been chewing at your lips all day."

  I laughed. "Right, of course. You read me like an open book. I hate that."

  Taylor chuckled softly. He stretched out on my bed, and tucked his arms behind his head casually. "So where's your grandma? Our running around with all of her friends?" He teased.

  I laughed. "I have no idea, actually. Usually she lets me know where she's going... unless she maybe left a note or something... But I haven't heard from her all weekend." I mused.

  "She probably just went out for a few minutes." He agreed.

  I stretched out next to him, resting my head on my hand. I kept a careful distance between us, afraid that our closeness and intimacy might have just been a temporary, fleeting thing. I worried he might get sick of me. I was still afraid I might accidentally do something that might make him push me away.

  He turned over on his side and reached out, laying his hand on my hip gently.

  I couldn't help but smile.

  The front door banged open, and I heard grandma rustle in. "Emma?" She called. "Are you home?"

  "Up here, Grandma. I'll be right down!" I called.

  Taylor grinned. "Want me to go out the window?"

  I laughed. "No, of course not. She trusts us not to be doing anything up here." I replied. I sat up and pulled him to his feet. I kept his hand in mine and pulled him down the stairs to meet my grandmother.

  "Oh, good. You're both here." Grandma smiled broadly. "How was your trip?"

  I glanced toward Taylor. "It was okay..." I mused.

  "Just okay?" Grandma asked, eying me carefully.

  I sunk my tee
th into my lower lip, not sure what to say.

  "Here, let me take your groceries, Mrs. Hatfield." Taylor offered, moving out from behind me and descending the remaining stairs. He took her bags of groceries and carried them into the kitchen.

  "How bad was it?" Grandma asked me quietly, when we were alone.

  "Awful. Mom was drunk. We fought." I admitted.

  "Oh, honey." Grandma mused, sweeping me into a tight embrace.

  Chapter 50:

  Our Little Secret

  Taylor called just after dinner Monday night, and asked if I was doing anything. I had gotten caught up on my homework before dinner, and didn't have any plans. He suggested we go to the mall, as there were few things to do on a weekday night. I immediately agreed, happy to spend more time with him. He picked me up at my grandmother's house and drove to the nearby mall.

  Once inside, he held my hand the entire time, as we wandered aimlessly around the mall.

  I paused briefly to glance at a purse in the window of a baggage store. I smiled lightly with fond memories. Taylor hovered nearby, still clutching my hand in his.

  "That's a pretty bag." He mused, "For... twenty-six hundred dollars... holy crap, who pays that much for a purse?" He demanded.

  I felt myself blush lightly and chewed at my lower lip. I glanced away from him quickly.

  Taylor smirked. "You." He accused playfully. "You paid that much for a purse."

  I blushed further. "I had one just like it in New York... I pawned it in order to get enough money to come to Tulsa." I pursed my lips. "It was a birthday gift from my parents." I mused.

  Taylor grinned. "You really were such a spoiled rich kid, weren't you!"

  "No I-" I protested. I stopped myself and sighed heavily. "Fine. Just a little though."

  "You should save up and buy another one. Replace the one you sold." He suggested.

  "It would take years." I sighed. "Besides, that's not who I am anymore. I've changed. I'm not the person I was... I'm not a spoiled rich kid... anymore." I added with a smile.

  Taylor chuckled, moving an arm around me. "You know what I was thinking?" He asked with a grin.

  I laughed softly, smiling up at him. "Do I want to know?"

  "Of course you do." He teased. "I was thinking about ice cream. I was thinking we should get ice cream."

  "Oh really?" I asked.

  "Yeah. We should get some ice cream. It's kind of sweet and romantic, you know in like a fifties malt-shop kind of date." He grinned, pulling me closer.

  I laughed. "Well, I'm not really that hungry." I answered truthfully. "What if we split an ice cream?"

  "Sounds good to me." He mused.

  I followed him toward an ice cream shop and stood next to him as he examined the flavors. I peered into the glass coolers. Taylor held my hand tightly.

  "Cotton candy?" I asked, wrinkling my nose as I read the name from the display. "They actually make a cotton candy flavored ice cream?"

  "It's actually not bad. I haven't had it since I was a kid, but it's pretty good." He smirked. "I'm game if you are."

  I laughed. "Okay, fine."

  "Great." He gently caught my face in his hands, lightly kissing my lips. I felt the familiar woozy happiness surround me. "Have a seat and I'll be right over." He instructed.

  I knew there was no point in arguing, so I found a bench and sat to wait.

  He came over a few minutes later with a paper bowl of ice cream with two pink spoons sticking out at different angles. He sat next to me on the bench, sliding close to me. I reached for one of the spoon and took a small bite.

  "Thoughts?" He asked.

  I smiled. "Not bad. A little sweet, but not bad."

  He leaned toward me and kissed me; a long, lingering kiss. "Tastes better already." He mused, leaning forward and kissing me again.

  I broke the kiss slowly. "The ice cream... it'll melt."

  "Right." He mused. He reached for his own spoon, and scooped some ice cream from the bowl. I toyed with my spoon, snuggling closer to him. I drew my legs over his right thigh.

  "So... At the risk of ruining our lovely date..." Taylor mused. "Have you talked to your mother since we've gotten back?"

  I shook my head. "No, and I don't intend to. I'm done with her until she gets sober... I need to cut the negativity out of my life." I said. Using my spoon I slipped a piece of ice cream into my mouth.

  "I'm sorry to bring it up." He mused. "I just worry about you. I know going back home was tough... I understand if you don't want to talk about it."

  I smiled gently. "Actually I'm starting to get used to it. It's kind of nice to have someone to talk to about this kind of stuff. It's... healthy."

  I reached for the bowl of ice cream and took a spoonful. I held it out to Taylor and slid the spoon into his mouth.

  Taylor grinned, moving an arm around me. His other hand fell on my knee gently. "I'm glad you can talk to me."

  "I'm glad I have someone as amazing as you to talk to..." I smiled softly. I spooned another mouthful of ice cream into his mouth.

  "Aww..." He chuckled.

  I moistened my lips slowly. "I have to say that I am very happy to be back here in Tulsa. New York doesn't feel like home any more. This place feels like home."

  Taylor chuckled. "Well, it's the only home I've ever known, so it's always felt like home to me."

  I stirred the ice cream in the bowl. "Did you ever think of traveling or maybe relocating?"

  He smirked. "Traveling maybe, but not relocating. My whole family is here, and they are very important to me. I'd never want to leave my family."

  I smiled. "That's one of the reasons I like you so much." I informed him. "You're so family oriented. After my dad died, my family kind of fell apart. Being around you reminds me of family and all of the good memories that brings."

  "What about you? Would you ever move away?" He asked. There seemed to be a slight sense of worry in his voice.

  I shook my head, spooning more ice cream into his mouth. "I don't know... When I first came here, my plan was strictly to have a place to stay, get a job and get out of here... but now that I'm here, and I have grandma and you... this feels like home to me. More than any other place. And for the first time in a long time, I'm actually happy."

  Taylor grinned and lightly squeezed my knee. I flinched and laughed loudly. "Not fair! Don't tickle me." I accused.

  He chuckled. "Alright. Sorry... Where do you want to go after this? Are there any stores you'd like to go to?" He offered.

  I shrugged. "There's no place I absolutely have to go..." I mused. "I guess a bookstore wouldn't hurt though." I hinted.

  Taylor chuckled. "Sounds perfect."

  I fed him the last of the ice cream and placed the spoon back into the empty bowl. He took the empty bowl from my hands. It seemed he didn't notice that he had eaten most of the ice cream, which suited me just fine. I didn't want to have a long conversation about why I wasn't feeling hungry.

  He lightly rubbed my knee. "Are you ready to go?"

  I shook my head, laying my head on his shoulder. "No. Let's stay here forever."

  He chuckled. "Fine by me... but the mall closes at nine, and I think they'll throw us out."

  I sighed unhappily. "Fine."

  He took the empty ice cream bowl and the two spoons from me, before helping me to my feet. He tossed our garbage in a nearby bin and picked up my hand again.

  We walked down the mall toward the bookstore, with his arm around my waist. I stopped to examine a display of perfumes, removing the caps and sniffing the liquid within. I wrinkled my nose, unable to find one I liked. Within seconds of smelling the first scent, my head started to throb lightly.

  I felt Taylor's hand lightly touch my hip, and I jumped in surprise.

  "Sorry," He smiled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

  "No, it's okay." I pressed my fingers to my forehead. "I have a bit of a headache... must be from the ice cream." I mused.

  "Brain freeze can be cruel." He mused, leaning t
oward me and lightly kissing my forehead. "Better?" He asked triumphantly.

  I smiled. "Actually, yeah. Much better."

  He pulled me closer for a brief moment, an intimate embrace in a public setting. "Do you want to go home? Usually when I get a headache, a couple of aspirin and a nap does wonders." He offered.

  I shook my head. "It's not so bad." I replied. "I'll be okay in a bit."

  "Okay." He replied. He lifted his chin in the direction of the store. "Did you want to go in? I don't mind." He offered.

  I glanced toward the store. It was full of scented soaps, candles and perfumes. The smell emanating from the store was already making my head hurt more. "No, I don't think that's necessary. I think I'd much rather find a bookstore." I added with a smile.

  "Sounds good to me." He moved his arm around me, and we walked toward the bookstore.

  We found the bookstore easily, and Taylor's arm slipped from around my waist. He stopped to pick up a book, turning it over in his hands. He frowned at it in concentration. I could tell from the cover, the book was a biography of a musician.

  I slipped away down one of the aisles while he was distracted. I paused to lean against one of the shelves to rub my forehead. My head was still aching mercilessly. I rummaged through my purse to see if I had anything to take, but I found nothing.

  I wondered if there was any kind of a drug store in the mall where I could get something for my head. But it was nearly impossible to buy anything without Taylor finding out. He would immediately worry about me, and that was the last thing I wanted. We were enjoying a pleasant evening together, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin it.

  Taylor appeared from around the bookshelf, and I immediately dropped my hand from my forehead.

  He had the book he'd been looking at tucked under his arm. "Wow, I kind of expected you to have an arm load of books already." He teased.

  "I'm warming up to that." I answered with a smile.