Pew! Pew! - The Quest for More Pew!

by M. D. Cooper

“Don’t lie, you live for those times.”

  “Are you two about done? I’d like to leave before they put too many holes in our drop ship,” O’Neil scolded.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Reese nodded at Jakeson and they bolted down the ramp for a final time.

  As Jakeson reached for the handle, a blaster round seared the back of his thigh. He yelped and went down on one knee, his hand covering his wound. Reese dropped his side and started for his fallen comrade, but was waved off by Jakeson as he struggled to his feet. They hoisted the last crate and wrangled it up the ramp under the return fire from Mia and O’Neil.

  Once they were back inside, O’Neil maneuvered his way through the strewn containers and into the cockpit. Mia closed the ramp and returned fire until it sealed shut. Turning around, she watched Reese help Jakeson to his jump seat and start to belt him in.

  “I’m shot in the leg, not helpless, Captain.” Jakeson winced at the pain and swatted Reese’s hands away.

  “Fine, I’ll just go get in O’Neil’s way then.” Reese held up his hands and backed away before turning and heading to the cockpit.

  Mia secured her weapon then sat down across from Jakeson and belted herself into her seat. Outside, she could hear the ping and hiss of fire hitting the outer skin of their ship. She said a silent prayer that their weapons weren’t powerful enough to breach the inner layers of the hull.

  The slow buildup of the engines told her that they were close to lift-off. She took a couple of deep breaths and prepared herself for the gut-wrenching gravitational pull of emergency escape velocity. She felt the floor and her chair begin to vibrate violently. She clenched her teeth and squeezed the armrests until her knuckles turned white. Across from her, Jakeson spewed a non-stop river of cuss words and squirmed in pain.

  A moment later, weightlessness replaced the bone jarring vibrations. From the cockpit, Mia could hear Reese barking orders to the crew manning the bridge of the HMS Falderal. Mia tapped her foot against the base of her seat.

  “We’ll be docking momentarily. Mia, you’re with me to the bridge. I have medical standing by to assist that dumbass that blocked a shot with his leg,” Reese shouted back to her.

  “I heard that!” Jakeson frowned.

  “Good. Maybe next time you won’t let yourself get hit. ‘Cause I know we’ve had this discussion at least twice before.”

  “That last one was entirely your fault, sir.”

  “You’re supposed to blame that shit on the nearest lieutenant, Jakeson.”

  “Aye, aye, Captain. Maybe we should start packing a lieutenant with us.” Jakeson squirmed in his restraints.

  The drop ship’s alarms began blaring at an ear-splitting level. Mia strained against her straps to see into the cockpit.

  “What’s happening up there?” she called out.

  “Remember those two Colonial Navy ships we saw on the way down to the surface?” O’Neil shouted.

  “Oh, don’t tell me they’re in pursuit!” Mia exclaimed.

  “Nope. They’re looking to cut us off from rendezvousing with the Falderal. Bastards.” Reese spat.

  Silence engulfed the drop ship. At the controls, O’Neil took advantage of every stunt and piloting trick he’d ever tried, heard of or dreamed about to evade the two ships closing in on them. Bolts of deadly blaster fire flared across their path, temporarily blinding everyone in the drop ship.

  “Hold on to something back there, this may get a little hairy. We’re going to try to dock with the Falderal while she’s countering a broadside attack. If you pray, now would be a great time to throw one out there,” O’Neil warned.

  Mia looked at Jakeson and mouthed, “Countering a broadside attack?”

  Jakeson shrugged and shook his head.

  “Captain?” Mia questioned, “Since when does the Falderal have weapons to counter an attack?”

  She heard roars of laughter coming from the cockpit. “She doesn’t. But she has emergency ejections tubes and tanks full of corrosive mining slag.”

  A picture began to develop in her mind as Mia put the pieces together. A wicked smile bloomed on her face and she burst out laughing. “Brilliant! I bet that’s not in any of their battle handbooks.”

  “Docking bay doors are open. We’re going in!” O’Neil announced.

  Mia grasped the armrests of her jump seat and prepared for the chop. The feeling of normal gravity sucked her down into her seat as the drop ship passed through the Falderal’s force field. That thin veil was all that kept the artificial atmosphere inside and the vacuum of space out. The drop ship hit the deck with a solid thunk sound, throwing the loose cargo around. Mia’s head was thrown forward and then backwards into her seat’s headrest. She blinked and saw a few flashes of light before her vision cleared and then she was working the clasps of her harness.

  “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Reese banged on the walls and jogged to the rear of the jump ship to open the rear ramp.

  The medical team was already headed for them when the ramp touched down with a loud, metal clang. Mia was right behind him, running for the lift that would take them to the bridge.

  “Take good care of Jakeson, Doc,” Reese said as they raced the medics.

  “We’ll do our best, sir!” The gray-haired team leader quickly saluted before turning his attention to his whining patient.

  The lift doors opened as Mia and Reese neared. They scrambled in, Reese pushing the indicator for the bridge level. Moments later, the doors opened to reveal chaos on the bridge.

  “Report!” Reese shouted above the noise and took his place in the command chair.

  “The Talkeetna is engaging in a broadside attack on our port-side and trying to distract us. The Arnegard is moving towards our aft and attempting a raking maneuver. We have canisters at the ready, primed with impact sensing explosives as you ordered, sir,” Carter reported then took her place at communications.

  “Very well, prepare three canisters for the Talkeetna. Launch when ready. Then come around to the Arnegard and give them a volley of three as well.”

  “Aye, Captain,” the tactical officer acknowledged then began working his console, sending tactical crews their orders.

  “Navigation, is our course set?” Mia asked, taking her chair.

  “Yes, ma’am. We are ready to leave orbit as soon as the word is given.” The navigation officer barely glanced up from his screens.

  “The first round is headed towards the Talkeetna, sir. We are coming about to deliver the next round to the Arnegard,” Tactical called out.

  “Very good. Navigation, as soon as the canisters are on their way, leave orbit and engage the sub-light engines. Once we’re clear of the system, activate our faster-than-light hamster engine.” Reese leaned on his armrest and watched the choreographed circus around him.

  “The FTL hamster, sir? I thought it was still down for maintenance.” Mia looked astonished.

  “Chief Engineer Handley assured me he’d have it spinning like a well-greased wheel before we got back. Let’s hope he’s true to his word.” He gave her a crooked smile.

  “Last of the canisters are away, sir!” Tactical reported.

  “Bring up the Arnegard on screen,” Reese ordered. “I wanna watch this.”

  The screen filled with the sight of the formidable Colonial Frigate HMS Arnegard. Dozens of gun ports decorated her sides in long rows, like rare jewels in a wealthy heiress’ prized choker. All of the deadly guns were aimed at the HMS Falderal. Three tiny specs streaked towards the warship, illuminated by the setting of the system’s dwarf sun. Mia held her breath.

  One at a time and spaced several actus apart, the canisters filled with the corrosive mining sludge impacted against the side of the Arnegard. The vibrant purple liquid splatted across the dull grey hull. Mia watched as the muck began to pulsate as if it was coming to life. It began to darken and spread across the surface of the hull. In the middle of each sludge pool, a dark hole began to appear.

  Moments later, objects
began to explode out of the holes created by the purple ooze. Mia covered her mouth with her hand as an artificial crewmember of the Arnegard was ejected from one of the three large holes. She forced herself to look away, not wanting to watch as he cartwheeled into space, his robotic arms and legs making stiff and jerking movements, like a final wave goodbye.

  “Navigation, break orbit,” Reese quietly ordered, his eyes glued to the unfolding carnage on the large screen.

  “Aye, sir, breaking orbit and engaging sub-light.”

  The sounds of the engines engaging created a building, low-pitched whine in the background. The stars visible on the view screen began to move as the ship left its orbit and made for the edge of the system.

  “We will be clear of the system in half an horae, sir,” Navigation informed Reese.

  “Very good. Commander, my ready room.” Reese stood and made his way to the ready room. Mia followed behind him.

  As soon as the door closed behind them, Reese swooped her up into a bear hug. She tried to push away from him as he waltzed them around the tiny room, banging into the table and chairs.

  “What is wrong with you?” Mia sputtered, her eyebrows knitted together.

  He set her back down on her feet and stood there with a wide, goofy grin on his face. “Thank you. I haven’t had that much fun in more solar years than I can remember. And I didn’t have anything to drink!”

  Mia looked at him sideways. “Your welcome, I guess?”

  He walked around to the other side of the table and pulled the chair out. “The only thing that is going to make me happier is reporting the captains of the Talkeetna and the Arnegard to Colonial Command.”

  Mia pulled her chair out and sat down heavily. “But, Captain, if you report them, you’ll have to tell them what we were doing there.”

  “Don’t worry about that, Commander,” he said without looking up from his console, “I got that covered.”

  “What do you have planned?” She leaned forward.

  He looked up at her and thought for a moment before answering. “It might be better if you didn’t know. But I’ll give you a hint. I have special friends in high places. Or is that low places?”

  She tilted her head, waiting for more of an explanation. Instead, he turned back to his screen. She sighed, pushed her chair away from the table and headed back out to the bridge, leaving Reese to make up something to cover their collective asses.

  Chapter Nine: It’s My Party

  The chime of the comm woke Mia up from her troubled sleep. She rolled over and touched the screen.

  “Commander Cochran,” she said, wiping sleep from her eyes.

  “Commander,” Carter announced, “we will be arriving in Anoupi space shortly. The Captain thought you would like to know.”

  “Yes, thank you. Cochran, out.” Mia turned off her comm and rolled over onto her back. Staring up at the ceiling, her stomach flip-flopped with anxious butterflies.

  With a deep breath, she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Throwing off the rest of the covers, she padded over to her small, private head and took a brisk shower. Dressing quickly, she left her quarters, heading for the bridge, only detouring long enough to grab her morning coffee and a fruit from the officer’s mess.

  Stepping out from the lift, she found the bridge calm and quiet. Reese looked up as she passed by him and took to her chair.

  “Good morning, Commander. Ready for this?” Reese looked unusually coherent and focused.

  “As ready as can be expected, sir.” She took a sip of her coffee, only giving the deep aroma of Kaladi’s special roast a passing notice. She looked at her fruit and set it aside. She was too nervous to eat it.

  “Sir, we’re being hailed by an Eridik Ush. He says he has coordinates for Commander Cochran.” Carter’s voice sounded loud on the quiet bridge.

  “Accept and send them to navigation. NAV, set our course for the designated rendezvous point. Tactical, scan the quadrant for ships or anything out of the ordinary. I don’t want any surprises.” Reese designated his orders with a focused intensity.

  They all voiced their understanding and turned to their assigned duties. Mia unconsciously rubbed her thumb over her warm mug. She looked around the room, watching everyone performing their tasks. She cleared her throat quietly. Reese looked over at her.

  “Don’t worry, I have an assignment for you, too. But yours is on the surface.” Reese rubbed his chin. “They’re expecting you to negotiate the release of your friend, right?”

  Mia nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “So, that’s what we’ll give them. Jakeson and I’ll go along in case things don’t go according to plan.”

  “You mean O’Neil. Jakeson is in medical with a blastered leg.”

  “Yeah. Jakeson. O’Neil. Same thing.” He shrugged.

  “Pretty sure they aren’t, Captain.”

  “Sir, we’re nearing the coordinates. It’s a small landing field outside of their main city,” Carter reported.

  “Affirmative. Have Jakeson...I mean, O’Neil meet us at drop ship two. You ready, Commander?” Reese stood and looked at Mia.

  “Ready to get this over with and back to our mission of schlepping sludge? You betcha,” she groused, set her mug down and rose from her seat.

  “Ah, cheer up, Commander,” Reese patted her on the shoulder while they moved towards the lift. “Hopefully, we’ll get out of this without being tossed into the brig for our piss poor life choices. Then you’ll come to appreciate the mundane routine of endlessly boring duty days. I know I have. Besides, it could be worse.”

  “How could anything be worse than repeating the same monotonous day over and over again?” She peered up at him. “And I don’t see how we’re going to get away with any of this, sir.”

  “Well, the other option is that we could become pirates, wanted by our own Colonial Navy for stealing one of their ships, and transporting contraband. That’s how.”

  The lift opened and he stepped inside, turned and waited for her. She met his eyes and stepped forward. The doors closed behind her and she felt the smooth motion of the lift carrying them down to the main corridor that ran the length of the ship.

  “Both sound equally heinous, sir.” The lift doors opened and she stepped out, heading to the docking bay.

  Reese hustled to catch up to her. “You get out of it what you put into it, Mia.”

  Mia stopped and turned to him. “Sir, pardon my bluntness, but I haven’t known you to be sober since I was transferred to the Falderal six solar months ago. You can’t tell me that you are making the most of your days on this ship.”

  Reese winced as if she’d throat punched him. “I admit, I may have a bit of a drinking issue.”

  “No, what you have is an infantile ability to deal with banal busy work and hide from it by basting yourself in the highest proof you can beg, borrow or steal. Then you reward your asinine way of thinking by falling into the bed of the first humanoid that looks at you for longer than three parsecs.” Mia turned on her heel and resumed her path to the docking bay.

  “Some people find that charming about me,” he yelled after her. When he caught back up to her, he declared, “I’m beginning to sense a little hostility, Commander.”

  “We can argue your reckless leadership style at a later date. I want to focus on saving my friend and getting out of this mess with my career and rank intact. Will that work for you, sir?” Mia asked over her shoulder while walking through the heavy doors leading into the large docking bay.

  “Sure. That’ll work. We already penciled in a date to share war stories over rum punch. We can add that to the discussion, too. Sounds like fun.”

  Mia ignored him and walked up to O’Neil. “All prepped and ready to go, lieutenant?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a sloppy salute and stepped aside to let her into the drop ship.

  “I’m glad someone is taking this seriously,” she chided as she disappeared into the ship.

  “Dang,
someone has their tighty whiteys in a bunch this morning,” O’Neil whispered to Reese.

  Reese put his finger to his lips and entered the ship. He found Mia sitting in his seat in the cockpit. “I think you’re in my seat, Commander.”

  “Not this time, sir. You said it yourself. This is my party.” Mia worked at fastening her harness and didn’t bother to look up at him.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Reese turned and went to find a seat in the troop transport seating. O’Neil slapped him on the back and then took his seat in the pilot’s chair. He slipped on his headset and began to work the controls, firing up the engine and doing a pre-launch check.

  “Control, this is Llamanian Rescue One, come in, over,” O’Neil spoke into his headset.

  “This is control. We read you, Llamanian Rescue One. You are cleared to launch when ready. Over.” The flat, indistinguishable voice replied over the ship’s cockpit speakers.

  The sound of the ship’s hatch closing and locking echoed through the ship. O’Neil looked over his shoulder and called back to Reese. “All set back there?”

  “Yep. Let’s get this shit show on the road.”

  O’Neil gave him a thumbs up and turned back around. “Here we go.”

  The small drop ship began to rise off the deck and accelerate towards the force field at the end of the docking bay.

  “This better not be a shit show,” Mia muttered.

  Chapter Ten: THE Sex Goddess of Anoupi

  From her viewpoint in the cockpit of the drop ship, Mia could see the vast span of dead wasteland surrounding the landing site. Only the ridges of distant mountains gave any visual appeal to the bleakness. The land was a dusty, dull brown with an occasional charred area, indicating either failed landings or take-offs. The immediate area adjacent to the site was a patchwork of rusting and disemboweled spacecraft of numerous vintage and size. A lone building at the front served as the lone hanger, its doors hung open, one of them ready to fall off its remaining hinge at any moment. A long-faded flag, its ends tattered, drooped from its bent pole above it all.

  Mia’s stomach churned as the ship began to descend to the landing pad. She felt the gear touch down, then O’Neil began to power down the engines.