Phoenix

by Alison Ashley

  “Mum, it’s nothing to do with a phone and it’s nothing you,” I glanced at her then Dad, “have or haven’t done.”

  “But she could call us if she had one,” Mum insisted.

  “I doubt she could, not where…” I bit my lip. I’d said too much.

  “Where!” Dad shouted. “If you know where she is, Ally…”

  I took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know exactly where she is, but she said she wanted to go back…”

  Mum jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen. “I have to tell the police to check the airports!”

  “Ally,” Dad said, standing in front of me and glancing to the kitchen. Mum’s screechy voice filtered towards us as she told the police what I’d said. “We’ll find her. Never you fret.”

  He hurried after Mum and I dropped sideways onto Katie’s bed, her pillow still in my arms. I hoped they found her, I really did, but I knew it was impossible. Katie reckoned she was some kind of phoenix, living, dying, coming back to life. But truth was, I’d seen where she was coming from, seen the freaking past she had lived in before.

  What made it worse was that I knew she was meant to be there. When I saw her there, it was kind of like she fitted. Yet me? Even looking at myself in 1944 I knew I wasn’t solid, like I was a hazy replica of my whole self.

  I knew now that everything Katie said was true. She was Kathy Stewart, her cousin was Jack, and as hard as it was to get my head around, Grandad was my twin sister’s brother. And yeah, I’d seen her double shadow. But the scariest thing? When Katie was here, Grandad seemed to have this odd outline behind him. Yet when she was there, in the past, he didn’t. And even though I hated the thought that ghosts existed, I did wonder if, maybe, Grandad’s shadow was the ghost of Kathy Stewart.

  The doorbell rang and there was a scuffle of feet and urgent voices in the passage. Mum and Dad called me to the kitchen to repeat what I’d said and the police jotted down my words, but they all completely misinterpreted their meaning.

  The squeal of Grandad’s water glass tune rose and fell from the lounge and his voice as he sang the words to We’ll Meet Again pulsed grief through me. Suddenly they seemed to have more meaning, as if they were written just for our family. He glanced up, smiling his gummy smile when I opened the door.

  “Hey, um, you,” he said.

  “Ally,” I said. “Grandad, do you know where Katie – I mean, Kathy – went with Jack?”

  “Wish I knew, love,” Grandad sighed. “Just give them time; they’re scared of the bombs. But when the war is over, they’ll be back.”

  My shoulders slumped. Bloody old fool was senile.

  “The war ended in 1945, Grandad.”

  His eyes widened and his slouched frame straightened.

  “You think it will?” he asked hopefully.

  “Know for a fact,” I said.

  Grandad settled back in his seat, smiling.

  “Someone else who sees things before they happen,” he said, satisfied. “In which case,” he sat forwards again, winking. “Maybe I should break out the chocolate.”

  He struggled to his feet and shuffled to the sideboard.

  “Promise not to say anything,” he said, glancing back at me. “Only I kinda got it, you know, on the black market.” His last words were a whisper.

  He yanked the sideboard open and a pile of ancient books scattered on the floor. But Grandad ignored them and fumbled inside the cabinet.

  “Ah, here we go.” He produced a folded yellow newspaper and thrust it in my hands. “Been saving that since Kathy’s birthday,” he said. “Such a sweet tooth.”

  I frowned at him then fingered the aged paper.

  “Don’t open it!” he gasped. “That’s Kathy’s present.”

  There was barely room between the glasses on the table but I nudged the paper between them. As I did, something blue dropped to the carpet.

  My eyes flicked from it to Grandad and back.

  “That’s a special jewel,” Grandad said, closing the cupboard door, the books still scattered on the floor.

  My heart quickened, my stomach knotted, and an icy chill seemed to wrap around my legs as I reached toward the sapphire.

  “Bring them back.”

  Grandad’s voice sounded distant as I took the gem in my palm. My hands, arms and body seemed to blur instantly as the jewel tried to drag me to another time and the sight left me really dizzy. I struggled to focus on where Grandad was sitting but he wasn’t there. Nothing was there, just wilderness, long, whispering grass, soft blue sky and a damp ground.

  My legs seemed frozen solid now, unable to move, or unwilling. I wanted to drop the sapphire, escape back to normality, but escaping to the real time would not bring normality back. Only having Katie there would do that.

  A faint hum filtered towards me and I struggled to my feet. I’d heard that tune before – at Grandad’s – except the voice humming it sounded way younger.

  Grass whipped around my knees as I blundered forwards, no idea where I was or where I was going. A scrawny guy lazed on his side on a flattened patch ahead, head on his hand, nibbling a blade of grass.

  “Er, hum.” I coughed.

  I shuddered as his tiny black eyes met mine. Evil – the feeling came to me instantly.

  The humming stopped and his smirk vanished. He hauled himself onto his backside and hugged his knees.

  “G-get away from me,” he stammered.

  I remembered my hazy appearance and held my hands up in surrender.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you,” I said. “I was just looking for someone. She looks just like me. You seen her?”

  The guy’s face paled to a chalky white and he shuffled on his backside away from me, a blue jewel dropping from his palm as he mirrored my surrender.

  “I-I swear I n-never m-meant…” he stuttered, his eyes wide with terror.

  Dirt scratched under my nails as I fumbled for the jewel he’d dropped, the one in my hand suddenly burning hot. As I grasped the fallen sapphire, I felt cool air waft by my left leg. A huge hole gaped up at me.

  I glanced up to check that the guy wasn’t after me, but he looked frozen to the spot.

  “KATIE!” I yelled, scrambling forward on my belly.

  A small groan pierced the interminable silence that seemed to fill the pit.

  “KATIE!” I screamed again.

  A white, narrow face, peered up.

  “Jack?” I called uncertainly.

  He groaned, seemingly unable to speak.

  I slithered even further forward. The pit was deep but not so deep that I didn’t think I could reach if he extended his arm. I reached as far into the pit as I could.

  “Jack? I know you can hear me.” A voice drifted out from the dingy depths. It was echoey and hollow, but definitely female. Was it Katie? It spoke again. “We have to get out. You need a doctor!”

  “Katie, I’m here. I’ll get you out!” I yelled. “Give me a hand, you moron.” I glanced over my shoulder towards the guy, but he had gone.

  I reached further down as Jack’s arm flopped limply towards mine, held firmly by Katie. I could see her now, just a vague shadow, beside Jack.

  “Bit further, Katie!”

  And Jack’s cool hand linked with mine.

  “Got you,” I assured him. But his tiny frame felt like a dead weight as I struggled to pull him.

  “N… no,” he moaned, barely coherent. “Lemme die. Meant to, want to.”

  “NO!” Katie screamed from below. “Go for help, Jack, get Mr Bettis, get Freddie.”

  Millimetre by painful millimetre, I eased backwards, using the lumpy grass and soft earth to wedge my toes into. The jewel, I knew, hurt Jack’s arm, but I didn’t put it down, daren’t put it down in case I disappeared. Katie needed me.

  Finally, Jack’s torso rose above the pit and his limp arms hooked over the edge. His face matched his grey eyes.

  “Why didn’t you just leave me, Kathy?”

  “I’m not Kathy!” I hauled him
by his waistband onto solid ground. I struggled not to throw up at the sight of his leg.

  His face pointed towards me but he had no strength to roll onto his back. His eyes glazed and his eyelids drooped.

  “Hang on, Jack!” I begged. “You can make it! Stay with me.”

  His eyes opened a fraction but he couldn’t see me. “You’re dead, Kathy,” he said flatly. “And I’m coming with you.”

  My breath caught in my throat and my whole body prickled. I shrugged my stained cardigan off and slipped it over Jack as he shivered, his skin turning the colour of milk as he sank even heavier into the grass.

  “Can see you, Kathy.” His voice was so low I could barely hear him. “Wait for me.”

  “NO!” I nudged his shoulder and his lips curled into a tiny smile.

  “Your hands are warm.”

  “Exactly!” I shouted. “If I was dead, wouldn’t they be cold? You have to stay with me, Jack!”

  “Huh?” Jack licked his lips and tried again to focus on me. His eyes briefly met mine, his pupils not quite so dilated.

  “That’s it, Jack,” I cried. “You can do this!”

  I tucked my cardigan, so big over his skinny body, securely under his sides. Jack flinched.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  But I wasn’t sure I was. The pain made him stronger.

  “I was so sure,” he mumbled. “So sure you didn’t make it.”

  “Try not to think about it now,” I said. “Focus on staying strong.”

  “Kathy?” he said softly.

  I smiled.

  “Happy birthday for yesterday.”

  My mind flickered to Grandad’s yellowing parcel, so lovingly kept for Kathy all those years. She never received her present. My stomach flipped and I immediately felt guilty – I was glad she hadn’t, because if Kathy had survived her ordeal, I wouldn’t have a twin sister.

  I swallowed hard and stared into the pit. Kathy’s bloodied, broken body was slumped at the bottom. I hoped she didn’t suffer. I turned away and then a sudden terrible thought struck me. What if that wasn’t Kathy’s body? What if it was Katie’s!

  “KATIE! COME BACK. I’M HERE! KATIE, REACH UP. TAKE MY HAND!”

  But her lifeless body stayed slumped in its open grave.

  The two jewels suddenly felt heavy in my hand. If that evil guy had had one, and the other was in Grandad’s lounge, surely Katie wouldn’t have been able to stay here? So why hadn’t she come back?

  I turned sideways, retching on the grass. Had she wanted to stay, to get off the crazy time loop she said she’d been stuck on? Had she somehow stopped Kathy’s soul from coming back as Katie? Was that possible?

  Jack moaned beside me. He was going to make it, I knew that. Every breath he took was stronger.

  Grandad knew Jack would come back, but he was waiting for his sister too.

  And, as hard as it was for me to admit it, so was I.

  Whatever Katie had done must surely be able to be undone.

  I dangled my legs over the edge of the pit, took a deep breath, and jumped.

  – chapter thirteen –

  “Ally?”

  I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to stay in darkness. I could hide there, hide from the truth. My twin, the person I’d shared my whole life with, was… I stopped the thought, unable to even think the word.

  Someone prised my fist open, took something from me, and squeezed my hand tightly.

  “Wake up, Ally.”

  Maybe Jack had managed to crawl away and find help.

  “Don’t want rescuing,” I moaned. “Want to stay here with Katie.”

  “I’m fine. I’m right here, Ally.”

  Katie? My eyes flicked open. Old grey eyes connected with mine. A doctor?

  The sun must have risen higher because the pit was bright and the ground dry, although it was still soft.

  My rescuer glanced over his shoulder and shouted, “She’s awake!”

  Footsteps hurried closer, one set, two? It was hard to make out, muffled by the soft floor, but everything was so clear now, the haziness gone. I struggled to prop myself up on my elbows and realised I was on a bed.

  “Sup, Sis? Over the jet lag yet?” Katie winked.

  “Huh?” I sat upright as normality shifted and lodged in my brain. “I’ll frigging kill you! Where the hell…”

  Mum and Dad burst into the room and smothered me in suffocating hugs.

  “Oh, you had us so worried!” Mum sobbed.

  “I had you worried?” I asked in disbelief. “What about Katie?”

  “She’s fine,” Dad said, shuddering.

  “I’ll get you some water,” the grey-eyed stranger offered.

  “Who are you?” I demanded.

  His head flung back as he chuckled.

  “Jack,” he said, extending his hand. “Your grandad’s cousin.”

  Dad shivered involuntarily. My jaw dropped but I couldn’t stop it.

  “Just turned up, out of the blue,” Mum said, staring at him and shaking her head. “Been missing since the war. Incredible, just incredible! The kind of thing you read about but never believe actually happens.”

  “And Katie?” I asked, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “When did you have the guts to come back?”

  Katie smiled and held her forefingers to her lips. “At the same time.”

  “Unbelievable,” Mum said. “Jack brought Katie back. Went and got herself lost. Next time,” she lifted her focus to Katie’s face, “try and stick to the footpaths. Don’t know what you were thinking, cutting through the marsh.”

  Katie struggled to hide her grin. “Sure, Mum.”

  “Know what?” Mum said, turning back to me. “For all your fighting with Katie, I knew you had a deep connection. Read it in all the books about twins.”

  “What are you going on about?”

  “When Katie went missing, it’s like your body slowly shut down, like you weren’t really here at all. As if your subconscious went to look for her. Even your body seemed,” she broke off shuddering, “as if it wasn’t really here.”

  Dad closed his eyes, his face paler than I’d ever seen. When he finally focused back on me, I swore his eyes were wet and my heart felt so heavy. His hands shook when he squeezed my shoulder.

  “I’ll put the kettle on,” Mum said.

  “It’s okay, Dad,” I mumbled as she headed to the kitchen. “We’re all back now, you can stop worrying.”

  “Promise me,” he said sternly. He drew a deep breath and stared first at me, then at Katie. “That you’ll never, ever do anything like that, ever again?”

  “You’re freaking insane if you think I’m ever doing that again.” I shuddered.

  “And you, Katie?” he said. “Will you ever keep your word?”

  She offered him her little finger but he shook his head.

  “Sure,” she mumbled. “Sorry.”

  Dad blew out a long breath and joined Mum in the kitchen. Katie and Jack sat on Katie’s bed, facing me, but I could only focus on Jack. Was this really the same scrawny, pale-faced guy I’d rescued such a short time ago? This stranger with his two tufts of wiry grey hair behind each ear on an otherwise bald head. This stocky old man, not quite as tall as Dad but not as short as Grandad and who, despite his healthy, ruddy complexion, bore a striking resemblance to Grandad? Those grey eyes, such familiar grey eyes. How could it possibly be… I blocked the endless questions forming in my mind. Only one made any sense just then.

  “How’s Grandad?”

  “Freddie’s fine,” they answered together, grinning.

  “Having a nap in his armchair.” Jack explained. “But he said to wake him when you woke up.”

  Grandad’s head was tilted back, mouth open, no teeth, snoring. Katie was here yet the shadow was not. The small, yellow package was clasped in one hand; in the other – I gasped – was Katie’s letter.

  – chapter fourteen –

  katie

  It was good to be back and it
felt like I could finally leave the past behind, like it wanted me to leave it. When I took the jewels from Jack just now, I felt no dragging energy from them like I had before.

  I followed Ally into the lounge with a mixture of emotions running through my mind. I felt guilty for all I’d put her through but also pleased that she’d gone back to the past. Maybe now I’d have an ally against Dad and his old-fashioned dictatorship that I couldn’t follow the paranormal simply because he didn’t believe in it himself. Odd, really, when clearly his own dad was psychic.

  Freddie’s eyes flicked open when I prised the letter from his hand.

  “I always knew Jack and my Kathy would come back,” he said, smiling.

  Ally’s eyes widened as I thrust the aged, yellow paper in her hands. I could see the recognition in her face but also sensed her confusion. She trembled as she flattened it to read the smudged words.

  To my family and friends,

  There is much about me you’d never understand – I struggle to understand. I’m like a phoenix. I live, I die, I live again, but I never move forward, always repeating the same things over and over. Something went wrong in a previous life and I’m haunted by shadows of my past.