by Unknown
I believe him. I guess it’s good I won’t have a chance to get caught, since my mom will be driving me to Mrs. Fraser’s, and as far as I know I still can’t come on Fridays. I’m homebound; can’t get into too much trouble there. Unless they catch me not in my bed in the middle of the night, but I would gladly take lashes every day for the rest of my life for these moments I get with Danny.
“Have you talked to Sam?”
“Hasn’t been home.”
“Did you at least try and call her?”
“Won’t pick up.”
“She’s your sister. Try harder.”
All I get is a grunt.
Halfway through the movie I pass out, not waking until I feel Dan bringing me to his truck. He drives me home, stopping far enough away that they won’t hear us.
“Love you,” I say in a sleepy voice, not even registering what I had said until I’m sneaking back into my room and I want to hit myself. In fact I do, palm to forehead.
“Please don’t have heard,” I pray out loud.
***
The next morning I finally get to see Sam. I want to sprint over and give her a hug, but I have to hold it in, instead giving her a polite greeting when she joins our pew. As we stand for service I slip a note into her hand. I wrote it this morning. It’s about how much I love her and it pains me that I can’t be there for her right now when I know she could really use a friend.
She slyly reads it during the chorus. I see her wipe at her eyes, and as we sit she gives my hand a big squeeze. I give her one back. It kills me that that’s all I can offer her right now.
When the service is over I seize the opportunity to have alone time with Sam. As we say our greetings to the Nelsons, I talk low enough for only Josh to hear, “I need a favor.”
His brows lift in intrigue.
“I need you to keep my parents occupied.”
If it was my father, I’m sure he would have dumped my mom for even considering asking him do such a thing.
Josh gives me a discreet thumbs up. It both makes me happy and sad. Happy that maybe he could be a husband I might enjoy having around, and sad because if he dumped me that would mean a longer time with Danny.
Josh asks my dad a question that gets him talking animatedly, and I’m impressed that just like that Josh could conjure up the perfect thing to capture my father’s interest.
I tell my mom I’m going to the bathroom, but she’s too distracted socializing with all the other women to care.
Sam and I retreat outside and go around the church to where there are bushes, concealing our presence.
Right away we hug.
I remain holding her as I talk. “What happened after you left?”
“We went to Tag’s apartment–”
I pull back, “Tag has an apartment?”
“Well, yeah,” she laughs. “Where else do you think he lives?”
Truthfully, I never gave it much thought. “I’m surprised you guys never roomed with him.”
Sam shrugs with a smile, “It’s the closest place to you we can afford.”
That has me hugging her again. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“Don’t. I’m fine.” She smirks at me, “Besides being pissed at my brother I mean.”
“How’s Tag?” I’ve been worried about him too. I know it would tear me apart if Sam was mad at me the way Danny is at Tag.
“Hurt that Dan won’t let him explain.”
“You guys have to talk.”
“Why? So Dan can try and beat the shit out of Tag again? No thanks.”
“What are you going to do? Never go home?”
“Maybe.”
I frown, “That would destroy Dan.”
“He should have thought about that.”
“How did you expect him to react?”
“Just like he did.” She shrugs, “Why do you think we hid it?”
For whatever reason, we both find this hysterical and start laughing.
“What if Dan would hear you guys out, without attacking Tag?”
“Maybe…”
I know I have to make this happen. I don’t like being in the middle, but I fear if I don’t intervene the Shepards’ pride will get in the way.
I walk Sam as far as I know I’m allowed to go on church grounds. I can’t hug her goodbye, but I place a hand over my heart to at least tell her something.
The conversation is still going on between Josh and my dad when I get back, but my dad stops to interrogate me, “Where have you been?”
“I walked Samantha out. I didn’t want to be rude.”
He nods, accepting that answer.
I mouth a “thank you” to Josh, who winks at me.
***
By Wednesday night Sam still hasn’t returned home. As I pretend to read the bible during morning study time, I come up with a scheme to try and get the siblings to talk. The drawback to my plan is I know I need to be there as a mediator, and it’s not exactly like I can just come and go as I please. By the end of study time, I feel confident I have it all worked out. Now I just have to make it happen.
“Mom?” I ask as we mend some clothes. “I forgot to ask earlier, but Chelsea was hoping I could come help with the kids for a bit. She has some chores she can’t get done with them pestering her every five minutes.”
My mom continues on the sewing machine while she talks, “You know your father doesn’t want you leaving the house.”
“It’s to help my sister,” I argue, careful not to sound too desperate. “You could even drop me off.”
She contemplates some more before agreeing, “Fine. I can drop you off before I run my errands and pick you up when I’m done.”
The excitement of getting out of the house and possibly pulling this off has me giddy all the way up to Chelsea’s home.
I knock on her door and turn to wave to my mom who doesn’t drive off, waiting for my sister to come to the door.
As soon as Chelsea opens the door I talk quickly, with pleading eyes, “Don’t act surprised to see me.”
She catches on immediately, putting on a welcoming smile. She waves to our mom, who waves back and then drives away.
Chelsea leads me inside, “What’s going on?”
“I had to get out of that house.”
“Well maybe you should have thought about that before you got home late.”
I roll my eyes behind her back. Chelsea hardly ever got in trouble with Dad, always the perfect daughter.
Her kids are quietly playing in their playroom when we pass. Only Chelsea could have six kids happily playing unsupervised.
We get comfortable at the breakfast nook of her kitchen.
“I came here for another reason besides needing a change of scenery,” I confess, ignoring the knot in my stomach that is protesting my plan,
She places some grapes between us. “I figured.”
I pop one in my mouth before I continue, “I was hoping maybe you could convince Dad that you and Aaron should take Josh and I on a double date this weekend.”
While Chelsea ponders the idea I keep going, determined not to leave until she agrees. “I’ve given what you said a lot of thought, and I think you’re right. I just need some time to talk with Josh about our marriage, and I can’t exactly do that with mom and dad always right next to us.”
I watch Chelsea eat grapes while she contemplates. After a few minutes a smile spreads across her face, “I think this is a great idea!”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I can get to know Josh, and you two can actually spend time together but still have adult supervision.”
I want to point out that I am an adult and shouldn’t need supervision, but I’m smart enough to keep my mouth shut.
“By the way, I told mom you needed me here so you could get chores done. So what can I help with?” This way, if mom asks one of us about it we don’t have to lie.
She laughs, “Well since you’re here, I need the gutters cleaned. Fall will be here so
on.”
I groan. It’s a bajillion degrees out, but I guess a favor for a favor and all that jazz.
The moment I see Chelsea’s distracted I call Sam from the home phone, knowing that Aaron won’t check the phone calls coming in and out like my dad does.
“Hey, it’s me,” I talk fast the second she picks up, “I don’t have time to talk. Meet me at your house on Saturday at one. Bring Tag.” I hang up and get back to the gutters before my sister has the chance to catch me.
Now all I can do is hope the rest of my plan falls into place, or Tag may not be alive come Saturday night.
Chapter 17
Dad actually agrees when Chelsea calls that night. He even seems to be happy about the idea, but then again, he thinks Chelsea and Aaron are the epitome of a perfect marriage: he’s a firefighter, they do loads of volunteer work, put God first, and keep pumping out those babies.
The Nelsons also agree to Josh attending, and I make sure Dan will be home on Saturday without the boys. I don’t elaborate and he seems suspicious, but I’m starting to see that Dan will do anything I ask of him, which I have to admit doesn’t suck; in fact, it makes my insides all mushy.
My parents drop me off at Chelsea’s early Saturday afternoon. Thanks to a carefully placed suggestion to my dad, he thinks that it would be more convenient to meet there, as it’s a halfway point between both Josh and my houses. I’m surprised when they don’t come inside; they must really trust Chelsea. Must be nice.
Josh arrives just in time, in his own car. I was hoping he would, but I didn’t know for sure. Another part of my plan complete.
“Aaron?” I ask after we say our greetings, me still red from head-to-toe after Josh told me how beautiful I looked (even though I look the same as I do every day). “I was wondering if maybe Josh and I could get a head start? We have some things we need to discuss.” I know I have a better chance of alone time if I ask Aaron directly. My sister’s husband may not be the type to raise a hand to his family, but he still believes the man is in charge.
“I don’t know…”
Chelsea takes his hand, “Remember how important that day was for us when we went to your cousin’s wedding together and were able to steal some time alone?”
My sister knows me. She knows I won’t be going someplace to do ungodly things. I never even would have moved as fast as I have with Dan if I hadn’t been already pining for him since I first saw him.
Aaron nods with a sigh, “This is an important time. All right, we’ll meet you at the restaurant in one hour.”
That didn’t give me a whole lot of time, but it would have to do. I hug them both and we go to Josh’s Volvo, a car I know my father would be happy to see: it’s safe and reliable (something I hope the driver is too).
As we buckle in, Josh speaks up, “This is kind of strange. I didn’t think I’d ever have time with just you until our wedding night.”
I skip over what he said. Now isn’t the time for me to think about that, “I need a favor. It’s pretty big.”
He pauses with his hand on the ignition, “Oh…”
I’m quicker to respond than I would like, but my nerves are already frazzled, “I need you to drive me to Sam’s. Her mom can be quite a drinker, and I think something may have happened last night.”
Josh frowns, and for a moment I fear my plan won’t work. “So you don’t want to talk?”
“I do,” I reassure him, because I hope to have time to do that as well; I’m feeling very ambitious today. “But first I need to check on Sam.”
He finally turns on the engine, “Where does she live?”
Hallelujah! I give him directions. “You can’t tell anybody about this, okay?”
Josh leans over the wheel to get a better look at the house as we pull up, “This is where she lives?”
I know it looks ghetto (because it is), but I don’t have time to explain that it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
“Wait here!” I say over my shoulder as I dash out. Tag and Sam haven’t arrived yet, but I know they will any minute.
I crack open the door, sliding in so Josh can’t see anyone inside and raise suspicion.
Danny is in the kitchen and I rush over to him, giving him kisses all over his face. The excitement of seeing him always makes me happy.
“Don’t hate me,” I warn as we kiss over and over on the lips.
Kiss –“Why?”
Kiss – “I invited your sister over.”
Kiss – “What?!”
Kiss – “You need to talk.”
Kiss – “Fine.”
Kiss – “And Tag.”
Dan pulls back, lifting his baseball cap a few inches to ruffle his hair before slapping it back on, “Jesus Christ.”
“Be good,” I order.
“Not likely,” he grumbles under his breath.
“Please? For me?”
He curses, “You’re not playing fair.”
“I don’t care.” He’ll thank me later…I hope.
The door opens and Sam comes strolling in, acting nonchalant. Tag trails behind with a guarded posture.
“So,” Sam smacks on her gum. “I hear you want to apologize.”
Dan steps forward with balled fists and I place a hand on his shoulder, giving him a look to back down. His jaw clenches in response.
He points to me, then them, “You set this up?”
Not a single part of me feels guilt. “You guys need to talk. You need to hear their side of the story.”
Dan grips the counter, white-knuckling it. I take that as an okay to proceed and beckon them over. They stand across from the bar, which is a good place – harder for Dan to attack Tag.
Tag looks to Sam, who motions her head for him to talk. He lets out a long sigh, “You know I’m not one with words, but I meant what I said. I love your sister. I’ve loved her for a long time. You told me not to touch her, and I didn’t–”
Dan moves, causing Tag to flinch, but I’m quick to place a hand on his arm, “Let him finish.”
Tag looks to me and I give a nod to continue. He looks like that’s the exact opposite of what he wants to do. “I tried for a long fucking time not to touch her, but then one day I just couldn’t do it anymore.” He looks over at Sam for the last part with complete love and admiration shining through his features, and my heart leaps with joy for them.
Dan stares at Tag for a long time, his brows so knotted together they look like one. When he talks, he’s still assessing Tag, “And how do you feel?”
Sam looks to me, and I nod because I’m pretty sure Dan’s talking to her.
“I love him too, and if you make me choose, I’ll choose him.”
Dan hangs his head down, then looks up to me, “What should I do?”
“I think you should be glad it’s Tag. You know the kind of man he is, or you wouldn’t trust him more than the rest of your boys,” I remind him. “Don’t you want the man who always has your back be the one that has your sister’s too?”
“Dammit,” Dan curses. “I hate that you guys are getting to me.”
Tag and Sam give the same lopsided grin.
Dan points a finger at Tag, “Breaking her heart isn’t a fucking option.”
Tag places his hands up in surrender, “Never going to happen.”
Dan then points a finger at his sister, “You’re stuck with him now. I’m not losing Tag because you get bored with him.”
“Deal,” she says with a wide smile.
Dan turns to the refrigerator, “Who wants a beer?”
I can’t believe it worked! It was almost too easy. That’s how I know none of them wanted the distance the situation had caused, and I’m glad I stepped in.
We clink our glasses. After we all take a sip, I know it’s time for me to go.
Before I can let them know, Sam speaks up, “Why’s Josh in our driveway?”
The boys’ beers are down on the counter before the last word leaves Sam’s mouth and they are headed to the windo
w. I run behind them and tug on the backs of their shirts, but they are much stronger and proceed instead to drag me along with them. “Stop! You guys can’t look! He might see you, and then it could get back to my dad that Samantha has boys here.”
“Too late for that,” Sam says from behind me. “He saw me come in here with Tag.”
Crap, I didn’t think about that. I keep tugging, “Seriously guys, please don’t do this. It will only get me into trouble.”
Dan halts, causing me to tumble forward, and he catches me at the same time he slaps Tag across the chest to get him to stop. “Fine,” he agrees, although he looks super pissed about it.
I don’t have time for apologies or to try and smooth things over. “I have to go.” I give Sam a quick hug and then I’m slipping out the door.
Josh gives me a questioning look as I buckle into my seat. “Who was that guy with Samantha? He looks like he belongs in the WWE.”
“He’s her cousin,” I answer dismissively. “He’s here to help get her mom to rehab. She can get pretty violent.”
“Oh,” he nods, staring at the house with a deepened frown. “That’s sad.”
“It is.”
“Is everything okay?”
I’m a little worried that I’m having this conversation like its one-hundred percent true and pulling it off. I don’t like that I can lie that easily, but I carry on anyway. “It is now. Thank you for letting me do this.” I give him the most winning smile I can and softly touch the top of his hand.
He blushes. He actually blushes.
I feel like crap.
I have him drive to the restaurant, figuring we can talk in the parking lot.
I turn to face him. “This whole situation is really awkward for me, but I don’t know how else to say this, so here goes,” I pause to take a deep breath, preparing to get things all out in the open. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but I do know that I will never allow my husband to lay a hand on me or our kids, no matter what we’ve done wrong or how much they disobey.”
Josh seems puzzled, “Is that it?”
I shrug, “It’s really the one thing I couldn’t live with.”
He places a hand on mine, and I note that I feel nothing from it. “I can assure you that’s not my style. My parents are talkers. We talk about everything. In fact, sometimes I think me and my sisters would have preferred some physical discipline over the hours of lecturing.”