by Shan
"Oh, baby mommy missed you so much."
Before Rozalyn and I left Miami we both went to see a specialist to check to see if our casts were ready to come off. I had already took the sling off the arm I was shot in and was told that I shouldn't have ‘cause it didn't completely heal so I had it soft wrapped. They told us to give it another week or two and then come back to see if they were ready to come off then.
When we got to Jamaica I set up appointments with a specialist near the island to check us over. We've been here a week already and couldn't really engage in anything being that we couldn't get the casts wet so hopefully today they would be pulling them off. I wasn't trying to get married like this and I'm sure Roz felt the same way.
We were sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office and I decided to bring my plan to life, "Baby, what you think about getting married out here?" I asked.
"I think that would be nice. We can come back out here and do that," Rozalyn looked up at me and smiled.
"Why not do it before we leave? We already here."
"What about everybody being here? Nah, I want my brother them to be here and I know you want your people here, right?"
"I'll take care of that. I just wanna know what you think about it."
"You don't think it's too sudden?" Rozalyn asked with a little hesitation in her voice.
"Nope, I'm ready to do this. I need you to be carrying my last name before we go home. I told you everything was gonna be different and I meant that in every way," I said sincerely. I had a hidden agenda behind why I wanted it done so quickly but Rozalyn ain't need to know that.
"I guess if you can get everybody down here then I will do it."
"You sure ‘cause I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing you."
"I mean I wanted to have time to plan but I'm cool with it as long as my family is here."
"You'll have a week. I tried to get your brother and daddy but they not hearing me so you need to work on that...oh and your sister."
"My sister and I don't talk besides if my mama had something to do with setting me up to be dead then she probably had something to do with it too. Their brains function the same."
"You haven't talked to your sister to let her know that you know what your mama did."
"I called the number I last had for them and it was disconnected. I did wanna try and go to my mama's funeral but oh well."
"You wanna try the number your mama called me from?"
"Tamar, no I don't! I don't wanna talk about them no more as long as my brother and dad is here I don't care about nobody else!"
"I think you need to check your tone. I just want it to be right."
Rozalyn sat back shaking her leg, staring at the floor I didn't know if she was upset about the events of what happened to her moms or just mad at the way they did her. Either way it go I didn't give a fuck, I ain't want her sister here no way.
"Yo, why is you crying?" I asked.
Rozalyn got up from her chair and went to the restroom. Whether she wanted to do this or not she was, I know she wanted to marry me, probably not as quickly but it is what is and it's what it's gonna be.
****
BAM! BAM! BAM!
I was banging on everybody's doors at 3am in the morning looking for Rozalyn. I woke up after feeling my phone continuously vibrating in the bed; a little confused by it. I had two Iphones, my personal one was black and the one used for business was white. I cut the black one off and put it away when we first got here being that both Kari and Diamond was blowing me up.
I was starting to think that this whole thing was another one of my hallucinations and that maybe I've been coked out this whole time and that maybe Rozalyn was never here but once I saw the engagement ring and the message from Diamond I knew then that this was reality.
Diamond sent me over twenty messages in the last hour and none really bothered me ‘cause I told Rozalyn I slept with her, but there was one message in particular that shed some light on why I was trying to wife Rozalyn before we got back to the States.
Tamar what is going on; I've been calling
and calling you why are you ignoring my calls.
Then I come home and you've changed the locks. WTH is going on? What are me and your daughter supposed to do?
Hated to be a hoe ass nigga and put Diamond on the street and not even allowing her to get her things but I had to do what I had to do. I was just too certain that if Rozalyn found out I had a baby on the way that she would leave my ass. That was why I made sure I changed the locks on the Condo and stayed as far away from Diamond as possible. I was going to wait until after I was married to Rozalyn to tell her but it seems she felt the need to be nosy and rummage through my damn phone.
"Tae, what's up?" Taron asked coming out of his room.
"Ya'll ain't seen Rozalyn?" I asked him and his new lil’ girlfriend Samantha.
"Nah bruh, she ain't in the room with you?" Taron asked.
"Ron if she had been in the room with me then I wouldn't be out here looking for her," I walked away and banged on the door next to them; Brandon's door.
"What about Brian and Starr?" he asked.
"I checked there first. She not over there, Starr tried calling her but she not answering the phone." I said.
"Ya'll get into it about something?" Taron asked.
"Nah, can you go down there and check with Ki-Ki and Keylan?" I asked just as Brittany opened the door. "I ain't mean to wake you Brit but have you seen Roz?"
"Nope." she stated dryly.
"What about Brandon? Can you ask if he seen her?"
"If he was in here I would. We got into it about an hour ago and he stormed outta here," Brittany said stepping a little more into a view showing off a candy red teddy she was wearing. I gave her the once over but walked away, seemed as if she was trying to show what she was working with but I'm a take it as I was trippin’.
"Ki-Ki said she not in there either," Taron said. "Key said the same thing. He about to get dressed and help us look for her."
"Brittany said Brandon not in his room either, man I swear they bet not be together," I sighed.
"Why would they be together and why would she just up and leave the room like that?" Taron asked clueless as to what was going on.
"‘Cause they be on that best friend bullshit," I said.
"Ohhh, oh ok."
"I'm about to get Tamarion and take him to mama I'll be right back," I walked away back to the hotel room suite to get my son and drop him off in my moms room.
We looked everywhere for Rozalyn and Brandon and couldn't find either of them. Every time I thought about them being together the more the feeling in my gut told me that they've messed around before and probably was still messing around. I've always had a feeling deep down that it was something there but without either of them telling me so or actually catching them then it was just a feeling.
It was now going on six in the morning, the sun would be rising soon and I was going more than crazy.
Brandon gonna fuck around and make me body his ass.
22 ROZALYN
Can you handle the truth?
"Stop putting your hands in places they don't belong," I popped Brandon's hand when he kept reaching for my panties.
"Let me just touch it one time," Brandon said reaching beneath my dress again.
"B, stop! I called you ’cause I wanted to talk. Don't nobody understand Tamar like you do."
"I don't wanna talk about you and that dude no more. We been talking about him for the last two hours."
"Well I guess that means I need to be going back to my room then," I said pulling Brandon's finger out of my pussy. He stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked my juices off. I loved talking to Brandon ’cause he always told me what I needed to hear even when I didn’t want to hear it. Although, I felt like the only reason he told me was so I can leave Tae and be with him which will never happen.
"Can I get a taste before you leave? I promise that's all I want."
<
br /> "Nah, remember what happened last time you wanted a taste?"
"Don't throw that in my face." Brandon scowled.
"I can't go there with you anymore."
"I swear ya'll hoes love niggas that treat you bad."
"Hoes?" I was offended. "I ain't no hoe!"
"I know you ain't, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying Tae has mistreated you since day one and you wanna marry him. I've treated you like a queen since I've met you and I can't even get no love."
"I'm about to go. I appreciate you leaving your fiancé to talk to me," I said ignoring Brandon’s so called plea for some pussy.
"Cut the bullshit, why did you really call me out here? You got both Starr and Brian right down the hall from you and you called me. It's obvious that talking wasn’t the only thing on your mind."
"That was the only thing on my mind! Damn I see that was a mistake just like sleeping with you was!" I stood up and was pulled back down by Brandon; he smiled showing his whole bottom grill, practically blinding me from the diamonds.
"Let's make that mistake for the third time; you know they always say the third time is a charm. Maybe this time I'll convince you that you going to sleep with the wrong man every night," Brandon pulled me on top of him and lifted my dress, palming my butt in his hands.
"Brandon stop! Let me go! I'm serious, stop it!" He ripped my thong and forcefully dug his finger deep inside of my walls.
"Tell me you don't love me, Roz."
"Brandon please let me up....you’re hurting me," I cried.
"You know I'm in love with you," Brandon's grasp was so tight on my ass that I was sure I was going to have two red palm marks left there as evidence along with the fact that I ain't have any panties on. I could feel his hands slip under me and pull his dick out, yea I've slept with him voluntarily before but this time I wasn't with it. I shouldn't have done it in the beginning but I was dumb back then.
"Brandon don't, please don't. I think you just had too much to drink. Please..." It was too late to plead with him to stop ’cause he'd already penetrated my insides. I tried my best to get off of him but he was holding on too tight.
"Shit, damn it's just as good as I remembered," Brandon moaned.
"Brandon, why you doing.."
"Mmgh hmm!" I heard someone clear their throat above us, I was too frightened to even look up. I knew it could only be Tae. How can I explain this? How was I going to say that I was telling him no even though I was on top?
Brandon finally let me go; I stood up and noticed that it was actually Starr and not Tamar. At that moment I started slapping the hell out of Brandon; it could've very well been Tamar. He pushed me away, and then snatched my thong from the ground.
"I'm a see how you explain coming back with no panties. Remember what the fuck I told you the last time we fucked! I still mean that shit! I'll see you later baby," Brandon said walking away.
"Have you lost your muthafuckin’ mind? What the hell is wrong with you? I could've been Tae! Please tell me you not fuckin’ him, Roz. You said it was that one time only!" Starr said chewing me out all in one breath.
"It's not what it look like. I just needed somebody to talk to, somebody that understands Tae!" I cried.
"Talking to his best friend that obviously wants you to his self ain't the smart thing to do! You know every time you alone with him he tries to get you in bed and I see you fell for it again!"
"I wasn't having sex with him!"
"I could see your ass bouncing from over there! Damn just yesterday you was cheesing ear to ear about getting married to Tamar and today you fuckin’ B!"
"Starr stop saying that! He was forcing me...please believe me. It wasn't what it looked like!"
"What you mean he was forcing you?"
"He was drinking, you see all them beer bottles all of them are his. He forced me down on him, I tried to get up but he wouldn't let me!"
"Well let's go tell Tae so he can beat that muthafuckas ass!" Starr grabbed my hand but I jerked it away.
"You crazy? He not gonna believe me just like you don't. He just got onto me about chilling with Brandon before we came here; he already suspects something. He not gonna believe me!"
Starr exhaled, "Why do you keep calling him? You know what he wants from you, Roz."
"Starr he got somebody pregnant, he got a baby on the way," I said bringing up the real reason I came out here to talk to Brandon.
"Who Tae?"
"Yes, I saw the text messages the girl sent him. Brandon told me they've been together for a while; living together and everything."
"Rozalyn so what! He out here trying to marry you! I'm sure if the girl is pregnant that it was before he found out your ass was really alive."
"What do you mean so? He got another baby coming with somebody else. Somebody else gonna share something with him that me and him are only supposed to share with each other."
"I can't believe you serious right now. He...is...marrying....YOU!" Starr said to me like I was retarded. "Fuck that bitch, I doubt he will be bringing her ass to Jamaica to marry her!"
"Ughhh! You never take my side!"
"I do when I feel like you right but right now you being stupid. Fuck a hoe being pregnant, she don't have what ya'll have, what ya'll gonna have. She not about to be his wife. You are! Let that hoe collect the child support she looking for while you get everything else. Him, the son you already have and a life that she will be envious of. You have to realize that he thought you were dead like the rest of us so he moved on. The minute you came home he been with you right?"
"Yea, but how can he move on when I was going thru hell being raped everyday by my step-daddy? My step-daddy Starr!" I cried.
"I'm sorry Rozalyn, but nobody knew. I was at your funeral girl. We all thought you were dead; even at the funeral we all didn't know what to do but the police just kept saying to accept the facts. Before that Tae looked for you, he would call me every week asking if I heard from you."
"Why would my mama do me like this Starr?"
"Girl I don't know, she need her ass beat though. Let's say once we leave her we go to N.Y. and beat her the fuck down!" Starr laughed.
“She’s dead, somebody murdered her ass,” I said.
“Oh, okay. Wow, you didn’t tell me that.”
“I don’t really know how I feel about it. One minute I’m hurt and the next I just don’t care and today is one of those days,” I leaned my head on Starr’s shoulder. “Am I wrong for not really giving a fuck that she’s dead?”
“Hell no, she kicked you out pretty much fed you to the wolves. I say fuck her too and besides I don’t remember seeing her at your so-called funeral but I guess that’s ’cause she knew it would be a waste of fake tears, huh?”
“Hell yea, I’m sure if I really was dead she would’ve came just so that she can be the one to put the dirt on my ass.” I laughed.
“Girl you know it, we all got somebody in our family that ain’t no damn good. Hell I’ve told you stories about my daddy and my mama so don’t even trip. I feel your pain,” Starr dug and pulled a blunt from her purse.
"Always smoking,” I said.
"Girl I got this from this fine ass Jamaican brother; you know they got that good ass weed," Starr lit up the blunt and the air immediately became filled with smoke. After taking a few puffs from it Starr passed it to me. High as a kite we laid on the beach catching up on everything that's been going on. We talked about Brian and what's been going on with him lately, how he cried for days when he found out I was alive and well. We then brought up Latoya and the foul ass shit she did; Starr claimed to not know about her and my brother Kevin sleeping together and I accepted that. I made her aware that Toya and I will never be friends again, the bitch almost got my damn brother killed. She knows that I lost one brother over some foolishness so for her to put my brother in that situation was unforgivable. As far as Keylan goes, he risked his life to save mine so because of that he is in my good graces but at the same time I let him
know how I felt about how everything went down.
I crossed my arms over my chest thinking about my conversation with Starr. Knowing Tamar had a baby coming by another chick frightened me. The main reason I called Brandon was because I knew that he would tell me if the only reason why Tamar was trying to marry me was so that I wouldn't try to leave him when I found out. I'm so confused right now; how do I know if Tamar is being sincere with me? I don't wanna get married to Tamar just so he could make me stay when he fucks up. That's the main reason he wants to get me pregnant; keep me pregnant and barefooted so another man don’t want me.
"Hello," Starr waved her hand in front of my face. "Come on girl, let's go. That fool back at the hotel going crazy, cursing everybody out, and threatening to kill people."
"Starr, I don't know what to do. How do I know if Tamar is not just marrying me to keep me around when he fucks up?"
"How is that gonna keep you around? He gonna be your husband not your master, boo-boo. Stop over thinking shit, if you getting cold feet then just say so but don't start trying to find reasons to get out of it. Hell I got me a fly ass dress I'm supposed to be wearing," Starr laughed.
I pushed Starr away playfully and smiled at her ghetto ass. Starr was a ghetto Barbie doll as she would call it. One side of her hair was blonde and the other was jet black cut into a bob, her skin was smooth and dark and glistened like she rubbed it in glitter. Her eyelashes were so long it looked like she could use a set of curling irons to curl them. She was a bad bitch though, pulled nothing but ballers. They loved her five foot frame, bowlegs, thick thighs and slim waist. She was fine and she knew it. She turned heads of men and women everywhere she went.
"How am I gonna explain not having any underwear on?" I asked as Starr and I got on the elevator in the hotel.
"Bitch I don't know but you better think of something quick ‘cause he already thinks you were out with Brandon. Ya'll were both missing."
"I’m going back down," I said reaching for the elevator button.
Starr slapped my hand away and pushed me away, "Girl just tell him you just threw the dress on and ran out the room. Stop panicking and come on." Starr pulled me off the elevator and I immediately felt sick to my stomach. Everybody was congregating in the hallway apparently trying to figure out where the hell I'd gone off to.