A Plague of Wizards

by Wesley Allison

  “No.”

  “Very well. If it seems to get worse, or you notice discoloration of the skin, come see me immediately.”

  Baxter got dressed and paid the doctor his fee—40 marks, because of the magic involved. Then he climbed back into the rickshaw, which had waited for him.

  “Do you know Ghiosa Way, out where Victory meets the edge of town?”

  The reptilian nodded and then started on his way.

  As he was climbing out of the vehicle in front of his house, the front flew open and Byrony came sailing down the steps and out to the curb.

  “What happened to your car, Kieran?”

  “I had a flat.”

  He nodded to the lizzie who started away. Putting his arm around his wife’s waist, he walked her back to the front porch.

  “How will you get to work in the morning?”

  “I’ll catch the trolley at the end of the block. I’ll just leave a bit early. Never mind that. What did you make for me?”

  “Make for you?”

  “Yes, you said you had something special for dinner.”

  “I did, didn’t I? I made you your favorite pudding—spotted dick.”

  Suddenly a shadow passed overhead. Before the two could look up to see what it was, the question was answered when a huge coral-colored dragon landed with a whomp in the middle of the front yard. Roughly the size of a trolley car, the creature stretched out its massive scaly wings as its long serpentine tail with a barbed tip whipped through the air. It shook its head, long spikes protruding upwards from above its eyes, and long whiskers drooping down around its mouth. In one hand, it held two velociraptors, which the dragon quickly swallowed, one after another.

  “Just to take the edge off,” it said, in a voice that sounded like a large lady speaking through a megaphone.

  Then it shifted and shrank and slowly took the form of a woman, the same woman who had visited Baxter in his office—the same dress, the same salmon-pink hair. Only the spectacles were missing. She smiled and gazed at them with solid pink eyes, seemingly without pupils or irises, and then she pulled her dark glasses from a pocket and put them on.

  Baxter suddenly felt his wife punch him on the arm.

  “What?” he asked in surprise.

  “You said it was your sister coming to dinner!”

  Chapter Five: The Calliope

  Twelve thousand miles away from Birmisia Colony and the rest of Mallon, was the continent of Sumir. It was the smallest of the world’s twelve continents, but it dominated the others, because Sumir was the ancestral home of all humans. Many people said the continent was shaped like an upside down teardrop. Others said it more resembled an upside down candle flame. At least they agreed that whatever it was, it was upside down. On the northern end was the land of Freedonia, and just off the coast from it, was the island nation of Brechalon, for the past twelve years, forged into a single political unit—The United Kingdom of Greater Brechalon and Freedonia. Roughly in the center of Brechalon, the largest of the three islands that made up Greater Brechalon was Brech City, the capitol of the Kingdom, as well as the vast and still growing Brech Empire.

  Birmisia Colony was thick with lizzies. Outside of the colony, there were even more, as most of Mallon was dotted with villages and city-states of lizardmen. In Sumir however, the lizzie population was limited to one. Esther was that one lone lizzie on the continent, and had been for more than four years. If she hadn’t been aware of that fact before, she was constantly reminded as she made her way though the halls of the vast four-story mansion of the Dechantagne-Staff family.

  Esther had risen early. She had a suite of rooms in the rear of the third floor that overlooked the courtyard. It was quite nice. She had been raised to sleep in a human bed, but still sometimes took to the floor, sleeping on the rug, with her nose pointed toward the fireplace. Having taken a bath in the wholly inadequate human bathtub, she had dressed in a new pink morning dress. It had been made from a design for typical Brech women, but the seamstress had radically altered it to fit her body, and not the least for her long tail.

  As she walked through the hallway, toward the stairs, she encountered five of the household staff. It seemed quite odd to her, but here in Brech City, the servants were as human as the masters. In each case, save one, the staff members had gone to great pains to avoid her, either taking a sudden turn down another hall, or ducking quickly into a room.

  Willa Armice was an upstairs maid who took care of Esther’s room among others. The two had become friendly over the previous months.

  “Good morning, Lady Esther,” said Willa.

  “Don’t be sssilly. There’s only one lady in this house and it certainly isn’t me. What are you about then?”

  “I’m off to clean your rooms. I hope you didn’t leave a big mess for me.”

  “I tried not to. Would you mind leaving me more towels?”

  “Of course, My Lady,” she said with a curtsey and a wink.

  Esther continued down the hallway, hissing happily, which might not have been such a good thing on the balance. She turned to start down the sweeping staircase and came face to face with Finley, the underbutler. Almost running into her hissing snout apparently startled him so badly that he dropped the silver tray loaded with the morning post, and leaned precariously backwards. He made an “eeep” sound when she grabbed him by the collar, but at least he didn’t topple down the stairs.

  “Kafira! That was close,” said Esther, as she steadied him on the step below her. “Are you all right?”

  “Nothing a couple of liver pills won’t fix,” he said, bending down to pick up the dropped letters.

  “If you’re sure then,” said Esther continuing down the stairs. At the foot of the staircase, she turned back around to see him still watching her. Esther gave him a little wave and, turning right and then right again, entered the dining room.

  Two women, both in their early twenties, sat at the immense table, enjoying a breakfast feast. Esther sat down across from them. Fodora Epps and Regina Elipton were guests in the house rather than residents, at least nominally. Both had been staying there for almost a month. Besides being members of the aristocracy, and obnoxious twits, they were acquaintances of Lady Iolana’s from University.

  “Good morning,” said Esther, taking a serving spoon and adding two slices of bacon, two large pieces of black pudding, and one basted egg to her plate. “Would you pass the ssscones, please?”

  “Imagine letting that thing eat at the table,” said Fodora, looking from between the brunette ringlets that framed her face and down her long nose.

  “Where is your owner?” asked Regina, a blonde with big eyes but no appreciable chin.

  “I don’t know where Lady Iolana is,” said Esther, taking a bite of black pudding. “Ssso no ssscones then?”

  Fodora pushed the plate of scones three inches toward the lizzie. Esther had to stand up to reach them. Taking a scone in one hand, she picked up the dish of lemon curd in the other and sat back down.

  “I am ssso happy that you two are staying,” she said. “It would pain me if your families’ current financial sssituations forced you to live on the ssstreets.”

  “My family is richer than yours,” snarled Regina, forgetting for a moment to whom she was speaking.

  She had either forgotten or never bothered to commit to memory the fact that Esther had been adopted by Iolana Staff at a very early age. She had no proper lizzie family, and among the lizzies, even village chieftains would have been poor compared to the Eliptons of Brech. On the other hand, if one considered her part of the Dechantagne-Staff family, as Iolana did, there was no question that the Eliptons would have suffered in any comparison of wealth.

  Lady Iolana Staff swept into the room. At nineteen years of age, she had reached her full five foot seven inches height, and developed what among Brech women was considered the perfect figure. She was not particularly buxom, nor was her bottom, without a bustle, particularly large, but her waist was quite th
in even without a corset. She was stunning, with waves of golden hair falling well past her shoulders and the same aquamarine eyes as her mother. She was already dressed to go out, in a rose and pink velvet day dress with a matching hat.

  “Good morning, all.”

  “It’s not been such a good morning,” said Regina. “Your lizzie has insulted my entire family.”

  “How could you?” Iolana hissed at Esther.

  The lizzie shrugged and ate her egg.

  “You will have to excuse Esther. Obviously I have been lax in her education regarding etiquette. She will need, perhaps, some remediation.”

  “You’ve done remarkably well with her,” said Fodora, “considering she is a member of an inferior race. Is it a good idea to have her at the table though? I’m afraid she might pass on some horrible pestilence.”

  “That is highly unlikely for a number of reasons,” said Iolana. “I’m on my way out. I have several errands to run and would enjoy some company.”

  “I’ll get my hat,” said Esther, starting to get up.

  “I had planned on you being with me, but considering your behavior toward our guests, it would only be rewarding you to take you now.”

  “In that case, Regina and I will accompany you,” said Fodora.

  “Excellent,” said Iolana. “We’ll have luncheon at The Clarkson House.”

  “Tonahass ssotook, ssisthusso,” said Esther, giving the two women a friendly wave as they left the table.

  “Khikheto etehos,” snapped Iolana, who then turned and followed the other two women from the room.

  Esther let out a very human sigh and then looked over the rest of the food. She was satisfied that she had enough protein but she ate several pickles directly from the relish tray. She noticed one of the maids peeking in and waved for her to go ahead and clear the table.

  Leaving the dining room, Esther took the elevator back up to the third floor. Rather than going back to her room, she turned toward the front of the house and entered Iolana’s. Willa was there, changing the sheets on the bed.

  “It seems a shame to change them every single day,” said Esther.

  Willa rolled her eyes and then giggled. While she finished making the bed, the lizzie picked up the book on the nightstand and carried it the other end of the room to sit down in armchair. She had to sit sideways to accommodate her tail, but managed.

  “She has a different book there every day,” said Willa. “I’ll bet she only reads the juicy bits.”

  “You would lose that bet. Iolana reads one book every morning and one book every evening.”

  “Now I know that you’re teasing me. Nobody can read like that.”

  “It’s sssspeed-reading. As I understand it, there are others here and there that can do it, but Iolana developed her method when she was nine years old. I could teach you how to do it.”

  “You can read like that too?”

  “Well, I can’t read like her. It would take me at least two days to get through this.” She waved the book.

  Willa smoothed down the comforter and then crossed the room to take the volume from Esther’s hand. “Song of Seven Secrets. I’ve heard of this one. It really is supposed to be scandalous.” She flipped through the pages. “Oi, it would take me a month to get through one page. By the time I found the racy bits, I’d be too old to care about them.”

  “I’ll tell you what,” said Esther. “Iolana will passss this on to me tomorrow. She almost always makes me read what she reads. I’ll annotate it and pass it on to you.”

  “Annotate?”

  “Mark the interesting pages.”

  “Well, okay.” Willa stopped and stared at Esther for a long minute.

  “What?”

  “Do you, um…”

  “What?”

  “Do you know about, you know… such things? I mean you’re so different. No offense intended, but I wouldn’t have known you were a girl if they hadn’t told me when I got the job.”

  “The lizzies are very different,” admitted Esther. “But remember, I grew up in a human household. Sssexual behavior is one of the more interesting aspects of you lot.”

  Willa peeked out from between her fingers, both hands covering her face. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

  “You ssstarted it,” said Esther. “Remember, that which we call a rose… is some plant’s sssexual organ.”

  “Bloody hell, you are a caution!” The maid hurried to gather the used bedding, though her face was still flushed red. “I have to make the beds for those two witches and then Mr. Barrymore has given me the rest of the day off.”

  “That’s nice. What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to the park and listen to the calliope play.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  “Would you like to come along? I can show you all the sights.”

  “I have been to Hexagon Park before, but… all right. Where ssshall I meet you?”

  “In the servant’s hall at eleven.”

  Some of the staff were enjoying elevenses when Esther arrived just outside the servant’s hall, with her hat and purse. She didn’t go in the door. Some of the maids were friendly to her, though none as much as Willa, and it seemed like the others were at least getting used to her, but she was still able to startle them quite badly popping into a room unannounced.

  “Here we are,” said Willa, stepping out. “Let’s go.”

  She had changed from her black, white, and brown maid’s uniform into a simple yellow walking dress, and had a purse slung over her wrist. They exited the side door and walked to the corner of Avenue Dragon before turning left.

  “That is a lovely bag,” said Willa.

  “Thank you. It was a birthday present.”

  “Oh yes, I remember. I think it’s very nice that you and Lady Iolana have the same birthday.”

  “Well, we don’t really. Iolana insists that we celebrate together, which is fine, since I don’t really know my birthday. Lizzies typically hatch the first time in ssspring when the high temperature reaches 71 degrees on three consecutive days. Ssso, sometime in early Quaduary, but that’s only two weeks or so difference.”

  “That’s quite specific. Maybe you should write a book about your people.”

  “Iolana already wrote it. That’s the only reason I know that fact. I doubt any of the lizzies do either, though I’m sure they some sssense of approximately when.”

  “She really is extraordinary,” said Willa.

  “Oi! Miss Esther!”

  They both looked to see a uniformed police constable jogging across the street toward them. This wasn’t at all difficult, since Avenue Dragon was lined with large, expensive mansions and had very little traffic. In fact, driving or walking down the street when one didn’t live there, was as likely to draw as much police attention as if one had hopped the fence around Ansegdniss Palace.

  “How are you this fine day?” The constable, a chubby man with a large red nose, grinned at them. “Lovely day for a walk. Mind, it’s not going to stay so nice. My sergeant says rain this afternoon, and he has a nose for such things.”

  “I don’t think it takes a wizard to prognosticate rain on a late spring afternoon in Brech City, PC Bean,” said Willa.

  “No doubt you’re right, Miss Armice,” he chuckled. “Miss Esther, I had to hurry over. I’ve been thinking about what we talked about the other day.”

  “Oh? What was that?” Willa wondered.

  “Dinosaurs, as I recall,” said Esther.

  “That’s right. They had a holiday exhibition at Royal Tybalt Hall with five stuffed dinosaurs. The biggest one was big, but not as big as I was expecting.”

  “I was telling PC Bean that I didn’t ssssee the exhibition,” Esther told her friend. “Since then though, I’ve read up on what they showed. They had a telmatosaurus, an ankylosaur, an einiosaurus, a baby triceratops, and an immature tyrannosaurus.”

  “Yes. They have an elephant at the zoological park, and
it’s as big as any of them was.”

  “I can now assure you that there are much bigger animals in Birmisia. The triceratops…”

  “That’s the baby with the little horn on its nose.”

  “Yes. The adults have three horns and they pull the trolleys in Port Dechantagne. The biggest ones are twice the size of the trolley car.”

  “How about the tyranno-fellow?” asked the constable. “The one they had was the size of a horse, but I hear they get bigger.”

  “Not long before we left Birmisia, Lady Iolana shot a large female. They’re bigger than the males and this one was at least six tons and forty feet from nose to tail.”

  “Bloody hell! Imagine seeing that running toward you.”

  “I’m sorry to say that I don’t have to imagine it,” said Esther.

  “I’m so happy I got to meet you,” he said. “I would have never imagined myself having a pleasant conversation with a Birmisian lizzie. I always figured that if I saw one it was because I was shooting it… not that you’re an it… or that I would shoot you…”

  “Quite alright. I might have to shoot a Mirsannan someday, and to me, they do look very much like you.”

  “Not nearly so dashing though,” added Willa.

  “True,” said Esther. “Constable, don’t forget to ssstop by for tea, if you’re in the area this afternoon. Mr. Barrymore has been informed that you are always welcome.”

  “That’s very kind,” he said, tipping his helmet.

  He started down the street, while the woman and the lizzie cut across in the other direction. They passed through a long alley that let out onto Avenue Phoenix, just beyond The Great Plaza. Unlike Avenue Dragon, the cobblestone streets here were filled with vehicles. Shiny new steam carriages sped down the street in both directions. A horse drawn trolley frequently forced them to go around. The two females passed a haberdasher and a store that sold portable cameras. Just past them was Breeding Booksellers. They stopped and looked in the window. Other pedestrians either gave them a wide berth or stopped and stared open-mouthed at them.

  “The world is changing,” said Willa. “There used to just be this one bookstore, and now there are three on this block. Seems all people do anymore is read.”