Hurt You

by Abby Mccarthy

  “We have a cottage out on Lake Green. You’ll see it soon enough, but this is here if we need to crash. When I was younger I used to stay here with him, but that was a long time ago. He still keeps it nice for me though.” I smiled at my new friend’s presumptions that I would be spending time at Lake Green with her. I had no doubt that this was true.

  We walked down a long, dimly lit hallway lined with rows of closed doors until she finally stopped at one, took a key out of her pocket and nodded with her head for me to follow. There were two twin beds. One was clearly masculine with dark bedding but made, and the other had a soft lavender quilt on it. I knew it was soft, because once we entered her room, I all but face planted on it.

  The next morning, I woke up and Maura was still asleep. I’m always an early riser when I drink a lot. Sober, I could sleep a whole day away, but give me booze and I’m up. I wrote Maura a note telling her how much I loved meeting her and I programmed my cell into her phone. I was kind of loud, hoping she would wake up, but there was no waking her. I walked out to the main clubhouse area and wasn’t paying much attention to anything else because I was searching the endless pit also known as my purse for my cell. Carlo, my older brother works nights and should just be getting off. I know he won't be happy about coming to get me, but he’s going to have to get over it. I pulled my phone free and I immediately saw 12 missed calls from Drew and 15 messages. My battery showed red telling me it was going to die soon, but I figured I had enough to check my messages and call Carlo. Message after message was Drew asking what went wrong and begging for me to come back and then there was one message, a message that I continuously received loud and clear.

  Unknown: I’m watching you

  Of course, I knew who it was, and it was just another reminder that Antonio was watching me. Part of me wondered if he followed us here. I squeezed my eyes shut, inhaled, and clutched the phone in my hand. Then, I heard the beeps. I opened my eyes only to see my phone shutting down.

  “Shit. Well, that’s just great.”

  “You always talk to yourself?” I heard the deep, rumbly voice from last night and I only then realized that I wasn’t alone.

  “If it suits me,” I shrugged and answered honestly, looking up directly at Jules.

  In the morning, under much more sober eyes, I saw how beautiful he really was. His hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. I could tell he recently showered and trimmed up his goatee. He eyes were the lightest shade of blue I had ever seen. But it wasn’t the color that really drew me in; it was something about the way he stared at me. It was intense and I didn’t understand it. I’m good with reading men, six brothers will do that to you, but this look was saying so much about Jules and yet not enough. One thing I’m pretty certain it said about him was that he was passionate. I just had no idea why. His skin was flawless and looked soft. His hand came up to his face and stroked his goatee, entrancing me.

  He sat there at his table and stared at me while playing with his facial hair. “What’s wrong?” he finally asked.

  “My phone died. I was just about to call my brother and ask him to come get me. Do you have a phone I can use?”

  “No boyfriend to come pick you up?”

  “Lord, no!” I said with a little more enthusiasm than I should have, considering I did just have a boyfriend yesterday.

  “Can’t say I’m upset about that.”

  Uh-oh, this deliciously looking bad-ass was flirting with me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't go there. That look in his eyes, with all that passion, intensity and sexy yumminess told me, it would be harder than the rest for me.

  “Well, Drew was. We ended things last night.”

  “Again, can’t say I’m upset about that either.”

  “He was nice. That was him messaging me. He wants me back.”

  “Nice is boring.”

  “He wasn’t boring.”

  “No?” His eyebrow perked up like he didn’t believe me.

  “In fact, he was very fun. Kept me very entertained.” I’m not sure why I was telling him about Drew. Maybe, I thought that if he knew that I could easily throw men away that he wouldn’t look at me. I already knew that Maura was a friend I wanted and that I would probably be seeing more of Jules, but I couldn't really see him.

  “That so?” he asked, his eyes squinted at me.

  “Yes.”

  “Then, what were you doing in a biker bar finding your own kind of entertainment? And why’s he your ex?”

  “Are you going to let me use your phone or what?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

  “Or what.”

  “What does that even mean? Oh forget it, I’ll just go grab Maura’s cell.” I began to walk away, needing to put space between us. His hand was suddenly on my wrist, spinning me around.

  “I’ll drive you.” His touch was like an inferno to my skin, it sent waves of heat throughout my body. I felt goosebumps along my skin and I hoped he didn’t notice. I didn’t want him to notice. “It’s raining out. We’ll take the truck.”

  He led me outside and towards a large blue truck with a Marine Corp emblem in the back window. I got in the truck and watched him shake his head to rid himself of the rain. Something about this was cute, but not a term I think a biker would be happy being referred to as, so I kept that observation to myself.

  “My car is at Benny’s,” I informed him.

  Jules reached forward and changed the song on the radio, settling on classic rock and roll. “So why did you break up with Drew?” he asked, but his tone didn’t hold the same passion as before and it made me feel like it was okay to tell him a little. Maybe he was only flirting before just to flirt. Lord knows, I’m a huge flirt.

  “Okay. You get a question, I get a question. Deal?”

  I saw a slight smirk to his lip and he seemed amused, “I’ll take that deal.”

  “Drew was a little more into me than I wanted him to be. I wasn’t there and he was. So, I ended it. End of story.”

  “Simple as that?”

  “Yep. Simple as that. We were seeing each other a couple of months and he started to get the warm and fuzzy feels for me, so I said goodbye.”

  “Yeah, how did he take that?”

  “As well as could be expected. He didn’t understand.”

  “Hmmph. Boring.”

  “He wasn’t,” I argued, but maybe he was just a little.

  “Jenny, you were bored.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked.

  “The first thing you did as soon as you dumped the poor schmuck was head straight to the wildest bar you saw and found one of the most entertaining, fun chicks I know to get smashed with.” He wasn’t wrong.

  “Okay, maybe a little,” I relented, seeing his point. “So, are you a Marine?”

  “Did my time, got out when my time was up.” Wow, the way he said that didn’t make me think he really wanted to talk about it.

  I stared at him and really studied his face. I thought he was young, maybe younger than me, but looking at him, I wasn’t so sure. I squinted my eyes at him, “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-nine.”

  I drew in a breath, maybe even gasped a little. I was shocked. Not that twenty-nine is old, I just never would have guessed.

  “Are you surprised?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I answered honestly.

  “How old are you?”

  “Twenty three.”

  “You been married before?” It was a strange question for him to ask me, but I went with it.

  “Um, hell no.”

  “Kids?” he asked.

  “Double hell no. What about you?”

  “No and no.”

  This whole twenty question/getting to know one another was going against my initial thought process to keep Jules out. I decided to switch conversations to something I could easily talk about and feel safe.

  “You bleach your hair,” I stated as a fact.

  “Yeah,” was his one-word resp
onse.

  “You do it yourself?”

  “Why the interest in my hair?”

  “I do hair,” I said, in an isn't it obvious sort of way.

  “You want to do my hair?” he asked, his voice was thick with amusement.

  Shit, I didn’t think I was backing myself into that corner, but that’s exactly what I just did. Then again, he hasn’t really been flirting anymore. Maybe he is just making polite conversation, and I blew that look earlier out of proportion.

  “Sure, I could do your hair. I work at Angel’s over on Perry Street. Stop in and make an appointment.”

  “I’m not going to a salon. You’ll do it out of your place.”

  “What! No,” I looked at him like he was nuts.

  “Babe, no biker is going into a salon.”

  Okay, I could see his point, plus he called me babe, which I kind of liked. “Well, I don’t do hair out of my apartment,” I lied. I totally did.

  “The way I see it, you owe me.”

  “What? How do I owe you?”

  “I brought you with us last night when you were hammered and I’m taking you home now. Plus, I don’t think your brothers would be too happy about you getting so hammered at a bar with a bunch of bikers.”

  Hold up. Wait a second. “How do you know I have brothers?”

  “I knew Gus. Seen you with Carlo at his funeral.”

  Any wind that I had in my sails floated away at the mention of my brothers. I lost Gus, my oldest brother the previous year. My brother Carlo and Gus’s son, Gino, were the only things that kept me hanging on. No one knew exactly why he died, but I had my suspicions. It was one of the reasons that all of this back and forth with Jules needed to stop. He seemed like a good man. I couldn’t bring him into my shit. My shit was so deep, I was drowning in it. He deserved to have a life raft, not plunging in head first into my crap. My mood changed and Jules could sense it.

  “I liked him. What happened to him was fucked up.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. He didn't mention his hair again, or anything else really. The rest of the drive was quiet and I was glad for that.

  Chapter 2

  Months passed since I first met Maura. She became my best friend practically overnight. Later that day, after Jules drove me home, Maura called me and came by for lunch. I ended up doing her hair, yes out of my apartment, and it looked fabulous. Sometimes we would go out to Benny’s, or we would end up back at the clubhouse, she also had a cottage that she and her dad lived in, and mostly we ended up there. Maura spent time with my family, as well. I have an enormous Italian family that fell in love with her just as fast as I did.

  Jules never did come by to get his hair done, and I was glad. Every once and a while, I would see him, and he would give me a chin lift and say ‘what’s up.’ So, I decided that whatever that was with Jules was a fluke and maybe, I was still a little drunk. My judgment could have been off. That’s what that had to be.

  My phone rang, blasting an old nineties song, “All I wanna do is go a zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom. Just shake your rump!” I laughed at that one, Maura and I were always changing the ringtone for each other's phone. It was one of the best funny surprises to see what she would choose. Of course, I am going to have to call her soon so she can hear MC Hammer’s “2 Legit 2 Quit.” I put it on her phone when she went to the bathroom at the diner today during lunch. I also put “The Humpty Dance” as Daws’ ringtone. She might not reciprocate his feelings, but I kept telling her that maybe she should just get it over with and out of the way. She should at least enjoy the man for what he is, and that is hot.

  I answered my phone, “What’s up, Rump Shaker?”

  “You liked that one?”

  “It’s classic,” I laughed into the phone.

  “You want me to have one of the boys pick you up, or do you want to meet us there? I’m leaving in five.”

  “I’m going to drive. If anything, I’ll just leave my car overnight.”

  A loud knock at my door startled me since I wasn’t expecting anyone. “Hey Maura, someone’s at my door. I’ll see you soon.”

  “See you,” she disconnected and then I heard another knock on the door.

  “Hang on,” I yelled.

  I threw open the door, and my brothers, Vito and Marcus, were standing there. I lived in an old Victorian style home that had been converted into four apartments. Three of my brothers lived in their own units. I think they loved being able to keep close tabs on me. It drove me nuts.

  “What now?” I asked, because my brothers seemed like they had been on me lately for one thing or another.

  “Heard you got something going on with Eric Cantonese,” Vito said.

  “Yeah. Heard you two were making out at Jackson’s party,” Marcus added. My brothers had good intentions. So what if I was on the wild side? I was twenty-four, hardly old enough to settle down. I stared at my brothers trying my best to give them the stink eye, and let them know that I didn’t appreciate their nosiness.

  “Oh yeah, Marcus, and how is it you heard that? What? Didn't you think I heard about you and Gina? I’m sure Beth would really love to hear how you know.”

  “Really? You’re resulting to threats. Beth was in on the Gina action for your information,” Marcus smirked and took a seat on my sofa, kicking a foot up on my coffee table.

  “Then, don’t judge me. You two are way bigger sluts.”

  I grabbed my red strappy heels, sat next to Marcus on the couch and began to fix my shoes. They crisscrossed around the ankle several times and then tied in the back. I loved them, but they were not the easiest to get on.

  “Where are you going all dressed up, anyway?” Vito asked, as he stood in front of my mirror and made sure his black curls were exactly where he wanted them. I was relieved that they were dropping the talk about making out with Eric. That was not something I wanted a repeat of, and I would gladly forget.

  “I’m meeting Maura at Benny’s,” I said standing up and moving Vito out of the way so that I could check myself in the mirror.

  Not bad. My hair was down, almost black with caramel highlights. My black dress was the perfect black dress. It fit snug and was just short enough to be sexy but not so short that it screamed trashy. Maybe if I was lucky, I could actually get some. I hadn't gotten laid since Drew and I broke up. That was a long time for me. I tried out Eric, but his lips were sloppy, and no amount of booze was going to make him a better kisser. There were a few random dates here and there, but nothing was exciting me enough to want to let them in.

  It also seemed that as long as I was staying away from men I would receive fewer text messages and saw less of Antonio following me. But tonight, being at Benny’s where I knew Antonio wouldn’t go, meant I was going to try my best to find someone.

  “Cool. Maybe we’ll stop by.”

  I rolled my eyes at Marcus and Vito. Of course, my brothers were going to try and check up on me.

  “Okay, boys. Well, I am off,” I grabbed my black coat that was as long as my dress. It wasn’t a heavy coat, just enough to protect me if I got a chill. My brothers walked across the hall to Vito’s apartment, and I headed out to meet Maura.

  There was a guy checking IDs at the door, but he recognized me and waved me through. Inside, the bar was starting to get crowded. I spied Maura right away leaning over the bar and kissing Jack, the owner, on his cheek. Maura was wearing black peep toe heels, tight black capris, a semi-see through gray shirt that hung off a shoulder with a black cami under it.

  “Hey, chick!” I yelled over the music. There was a band tonight, and it was getting louder by the second. “You look awesome,” I said as I took off my jacket and slung it over the back of her chair.

  “Me? Holy amazeballs. You look fantastic. Do you have a date that I don’t know about?”

  “If I’m lucky, I will,” I laughed and winked at her.

  “Jack! Get us two fireballs,” Maura called to Jack.

  The shots were set down in front of us, “To ma
king black dresses worth it.” We clinked our shot glasses and started our evening.

  The night started like most nights. Maura and I didn’t care what anyone thought of us. We danced; we drank; we laughed. I felt high on life. The band finished playing an old song by the Violent Femmes called “Blister in the Sun.” It’s the type of song you throw your hands up high, scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs and give a big fuck you to “The Man”. “The Man,” to some might be the government, to others it might be their dads, but for me it was always Antonio. I’m not even sure what the lyrics are actually about, but I know how it makes you feel, and what I felt when the last note played was on top of the flippin' world.

  “I need a beer,” I shouted to Maura, as the band began to start up their next song.

  “Me too. I’m about empty.”

  We walked up to the bar to see that a few of Maura’s Devils had arrived. They moved and opened up space at the bar so we could order.

  “Hey, I just realized. You don't have Daws’ eyes on you tonight,” I said to Maura.

  “No, not yet. But I’m sure he will be here eventually. I do have other guys watching me though,” She nodded at the guys to her left.

  I felt her pain and patted her on the shoulder.

  Maura’s dad Mickey walked in the door. I knew my friend hadn’t seen her dad in weeks. He had been off doing something for the club. I saw him first, and so wanting to give them their moment, I said, “I’m sweating my tits off. I’m going to get some fresh air.”

  Her head was still facing the bar as she was trying to order drinks when she heard her dad next, “Baby girl!” Mickey said.

  “Daddy!” Maura screamed and turned around and hugged her dad. I headed outside because I wasn’t lying when I said I was hot. I was happy for my friend and happy from dancing, but I needed to cool off.

  I walked outside where a few people were smoking, and leaned against the cool brick of the building. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. I remember thinking that tonight was awesome. If my eyes had been open, perhaps I would have seen the black Range Rover approach.

  I felt him before I saw him. He was leaning with one arm against the brick on the side of me. The rest of his body was pressed in close. My eyes flashed open, and I wanted to get away, but he was close. Too close. “Antonio,” I whispered out his name. My mood changed instantly.