Hurt You

by Abby Mccarthy

  Antonio was wearing a fitted black suit. He always was dressed the same way: black designer shoes, black Italian-made suit, and a black dress shirt. His hair was cut short and styled perfectly; a few small black curls sat right up front. He had perfect olive skin and dark eyes. He was attractive on the outside, but I knew better. He was a snake dressed as a panther. Both were waiting to strike, only the panther was beautiful on the outside.

  “Passerotta,” Antonio said in a kind way; a way he meant to sound sweet. It was a word I heard my father call my mother and it means Sparrow in Italian.

  I did my best to come off strong and not show him how much he freaked me out, “Move away from me, Antonio.”

  At my demand, he moved in closer, closing the space between our bodies. I could feel him pressed against me. It wasn’t a welcome touch. I could smell his cologne; it was nice, expensive, and a smell I loathed.

  “Now, why would I do that? Look at you standing outside by yourself dressed like that.” His hand moved on my thigh, gripping it tight. I didn't like this either, but I knew I needed to tread carefully.

  “You look like you want to be fucked, Bella. Standing here, that’s what you were waiting for? For someone to come along and fuck you?” My eyes darted around quickly to see if anyone could see what was happening. It was like as soon as his car pulled up; everyone vanished. His hand tightened painfully against my skin.

  “You like to dress like a tramp? Putting it on display for everyone to see?” I stared at him and tears welled in my eyes. I am not a crier, but Antonio scared the shit out of me. “I could lift your skirt right here and fuck you. No one would do anything.”

  “Please let me go,” I pleaded, but he ignored my request.

  “Soon, Passerotta. Things are starting to fall in place and then you’ll be mine. I’ll give you everything, but I’m seriously getting sick of seeing you flash your cunt around. I let you explore what’s out there, but this shit’s going to stop.” His hand which was firmly gripping my thigh came up higher between my legs, precariously close to my girl parts, making me sick. His fingers continued to cut into my skin. Without looking, I knew there would be a bruise.

  “You make me sick, Antonio. I’ll never be yours.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “Do you forget what is going to happen? Do you want Carlo to suffer the same fate as Augustus? Or how about that boy of his that you love so much? What is his name? Ah yes, Gino.”

  The color drained from my face. He had never threatened Gino before.

  “He’s just a boy. You wouldn’t hurt him.” I pleaded.

  “You are right. I wouldn’t hurt him. I have much better plans for him. Once Carlo is out of the way, I think I can groom him to be a fine capo.”

  “You leave Gino alone.”

  He laughed at me, like me standing up to him was funny.

  “You think you are in a place to plead or to bargain. I’m telling you. You are not. I’ve been patient hoping you would come to me on your own. But no, I keep hearing about you kissing this guy or dating that one. No more. I’ve put up with that long enough. Here is how it’s going to go. You’re going to keep your legs shut or the next guy you open them for won’t be getting lucky ever again. Then, once everything is in place, and you’ll know when that is, I will come for you. You will be mine, and I will be putting a ring on your finger. No one touches you. You keep your legs closed, and your brother lives, and that boy you love so much continues to have his happy childhood. Capiche?”

  What could I say? I may have just gotten the worst wedding proposal/death threat in the history of proposals/death threats. All I wanted to do was to tell him to fuck off, but I have one dead brother that I am certain was somehow at the hands of Antonio and I don't want another dead brother or nephew. Plus who says no to the mob? My brothers couldn't say no. Now, I had one dead brother, and I could lose another. I couldn't let that happen.

  “Look at me!” Antonio’s voice was harsher, no longer showing me any kindness. “Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

  I nodded my head, the burning in the back of my throat was making it impossible to talk.

  A tear leaked out of the corner of my eye. I hated that I couldn’t stop it from coming. I wanted to be strong and figure a way out of this, but there wasn’t anything I could do.

  He leaned into me, his hand still causing me pain. His face moved close to my ear and whispered, “I like seeing you hurt. It turns me on.” He moved the strap of my dress and bit my shoulder right where my strap sat. It was painful but after he admitted that he liked seeing me hurt I didn’t want to give in to the pain, so I did everything I could to remain stoic. He moved my dress back in place, took his hand off my thigh, and got back into his Range Rover.

  I exhaled, releasing the breath I was holding. My hands were shaky. I couldn't stay here any longer so I reached into my small purse, pulled out my phone and sent Maura a text. I didn't want her to know what happened. I thought if she knew what happened I would be putting her into danger or getting her club involved, which didn't seem like it would end well. So I lied.

  Me: Met up with Eric, that guy I told you about. Dry spell is about to be over!

  My nerves were a wreck. It took me three tries to message Maura because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I needed to get out of there. I just wanted to be away from it all. I started walking down the street hoping that a long walk and the cool air would help calm me. I wanted to cry and curse and yell, “Why me? Why Gus? Just why?” My life felt out of my hands. Antonio had made promises before telling me how he wanted me and that I better not get close to anyone, or they would be hurt. He had sent me texts telling me he was watching me, but he’d never laid it out so clearly before. This scared the hell out of me.

  I felt a tiny trickle on my shoulder, I stopped walking and reached up to where he bit me. There was blood seeping in a small stream down my arm. That fucker made me bleed. The fiery Italian side of me wanted to get a gun and hunt his ass down; or better yet tell my brothers, but I now knew clearly what the consequences could be. If I tried to kill him and failed, then what would happen to my family? I needed to hold it together. I felt defeated.

  I heard motorcycles and thought nothing of it. Heck, they were probably heading to Benny's, but as they passed, I noticed Daws; and right behind him was Jules. I hoped they didn’t see me. I drew my body closer to the building trying to make myself invisible. It didn’t work. I saw Jules do some finger motion to Daws. Daws kept going and Jules did a U-turn right back towards me. Shit.

  I kept walking, straightened my posture and tried to do my best to seem in control when really I was anything but.

  “Jenny?” Jules grabbed my elbow stopping me in my tracks. I turned and just stared at him. I was afraid if I spoke he would hear the shakiness in my voice, so I tried to do his move and gave him the chin lift.

  “You want to tell me why you’re walking by yourself dressed like that at this hour?” I did my best to give him a death glare, not that it mattered; he ignored it. I thought I was dressed amazing, but I guess it wasn't the type of outfit I should be wearing walking down Main Street by myself.

  “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?” His eyes were soft and kind as they looked me over, trying to figure out what was going on. I still hadn’t said anything and realized I needed to.

  “I’m fine.” Shit, my lip quivered a little as I let the lie slip past my lips.

  Jules's eyes darkened in a way I wouldn't have thought possible considering they were usually the coolest shade of ice blue, and now they were near midnight blue. It was probably just the shadows of the night, but I felt like the air around me became heavier and the darkness that Jules emitted was full on bad-ass.

  His hand ever so gently moved the fabric of my dress. I don't know why I didn’t stop him. I probably should have, but the vibe that was coming off of him was more than I could deal with considering I was dealt such huge blows moments before.

  �
�What the fuck!” were the angry, loud words that came from his mouth, making me flinch.

  He was looking at the raised skin bleeding from Antonio’s bite.

  “It’s nothing,” I lied again.

  “You’re bleeding walking down the street by yourself, shaking like something scared the shit out of you, and it’s nothing?”

  “I’m fine.”

  He grabbed my hand, walked me over to his bike, reached in a side compartment and took out a large black Devil’s Crusader’s t-shirt.

  “Put this on,” he ordered and on autopilot I listened. He handed me a pair of glasses and then said, “Bike. Now.” Again, I listened and climbed on the bike behind him. We rode for a few minutes and then he stopped at a CVS and told me he would be right back. I was too shaken up to think about what I was doing. A few minutes later he came back, and we continued to ride. I don’t know how long we rode; I was in a fog. At some point, I noticed we passed Lake Green, and the bike was going up around twists and turns. He brought the bike to a stop. We were at an old overgrown park that used to be a lookout until the park system paved a lot not too far from here and made an improved lookout. I always liked this one better.

  My heels dug into the dirt as I got off of the bike. Jules reached into his side compartment and grabbed the bag from CVS and led me over to a small makeshift bench overlooking Lake Green. We sat, and I looked out at the water. Lake Green was so dark at this hour. I could see a few lights from some cabins down below, but other than that the only real light was from the sky. I could see dozens of stars and the moon shone brightly. I’m not sure why Jules brought me here, or why I let him. I barely knew him, and I wasn’t in a place where I should trust anyone. Certainly not in a place to let a man bring me alone in the dark, but for some reason I was starting to become more relaxed and less shaky.

  Jules was quiet. He didn't say anything, but I felt his eyes on me. I’m not sure how long we sat, but he was giving me time. Finally, he opened the small bag and brought out a white first aid kit, the big red cross letting me know exactly what it was. “Jenny, I’m going to take a look at that, okay?” He was handling me with care.

  Jules lifted the t-shirt over my head and moved the fabric of my dress. He took a deep breath. “Is that a bite? Fuck! Someone bit you.” He began to work on cleaning up my wound. He took an alcohol wipe out of the kit and tore open the package with his teeth, “This is going to sting.”

  I couldn’t feel much as I was a little in shock; not so much from the fact that Antonio bit me, more so from the fact that my life was doomed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  A few minutes later, Jules had me bandaged up, moved my dress back into place, then carefully pulled the t-shirt back over my head.

  “Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked me cautiously. Instinctively my eyes moved down between my legs and I quickly looked back up. “I’m fine. Thank you for taking care of me, but really I’m fine.”

  His eyes narrowed at me like he didn't believe what I was saying. “Swear to Christ no one touched you?” I knew what he was asking. He was afraid I was raped and was treading carefully.

  “I’m okay. I swear it. No one touched me like that.”

  “Thank fuck,” he mumbled then his voice got a little louder, “Who the fuck hurt you?”

  Something about his tone snapped me out of my scared attitude, and I found my voice loud and clear.

  “I appreciate you helping me, Jules. Not really sure why you’re helping me, but you’ve been real kind, but this right here, is nothing I can’t handle. I’m fine.”

  “Something about me Jenny, I don't take kindly to a man putting his hands on a woman. My stepdad put his hands on my Ma. Eventually I got him to put his hands on me and not her and then when I was big enough to stop him, I did. I don't take kindly to seeing a man leave marks on a woman. I also don't take too kindly to seeing a woman cover for a man.”

  I was surprised at how easily Jules opened up to me about his mom and something about the way he said this made me want to defend myself.

  “I’m sorry about your Mom, but it’s not the same thing.”

  “No?”

  “No, Jules. I’m not with some guy who’s hitting me.”

  Jules knelt in front of me, then suddenly shoved my dress up high, exposing my thighs, and right where Antonio grabbed me, clear as day, there were bruises already beginning to form.

  “Fuck!” he hissed and he looked like he was in a rage. I needed to do something to diffuse the situation.

  “Someone grabbed me and they bit me. It freaked me out. They left. It shook me. I needed to get out of there, so I left.”

  “You’re telling me; you’re at the bar with Maura, and someone puts their hands on you, and you just leave? Decide to walk down the street, so that same person can attack you while you’re all alone?” Damn, well when he put it that way my white lie sure made me sound dumb.

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly! Someone just bit me for god sakes.”

  “And you’re telling me you don’t know who that someone was?”

  “Yeah, I never saw him before.”

  “No?” he questioned.

  “No.”

  “Let’s go,” he put out his hand to help me up. I’d always considered myself a good read on what men were thinking, but Jules had me stumped.

  “Why did you bring me here, Jules?”

  “You needed to get your head on straight. But, I gotta tell you that I don't like being bullshitted, and you dear, are full of it. I’ll give you a reprieve ‘cause someone hurt you. You want to share, you share. You were at a bar filled with people who wouldn't take kindly to someone putting their hands on you, but you didn't say jack to anyone.”

  This was all true, so I nodded and walked over to his bike, letting him know I was ready to go.

  “Can you drop me off at my place? I’m in Little Italy.”

  “I know where you’re at.”

  “Right, you know my brothers.”

  “Nope, not why. Me knowing where you live is all you, Jenny.” I looked up at him completely confused as to why he would know where I live. “You hang with Maura; we keep tabs.” Of course, he would know where I live because of Maura.

  “Oh. Well, okay. Thank you for taking care of me.”

  We got on his bike, and we made our way to my apartment. I felt like the closer we got to home the more afraid I became that Antonio was somewhere lurking. Jules was so good to me I didn't want Antonio to have his sights on him

  When we pulled up in front of my building, I quickly got off of his bike and scanned the street making sure I didn’t see Antonio’s Range Rover. “Thanks again,” I said trying to make my getaway as quickly as possible.

  “Someone just hurt you. I’m not letting you go upstairs until I know your place is clear.”

  “Jules, I’m fine it isn't necessary.”

  “That’s nice. You keep saying that, tell someone who believes you. I’m going to make sure your apartment is clear.”

  I could tell from the look on Jules' face that he wasn’t going to let up, and I was too stressed from the night’s events to put up more of a fight. “Fine,” I said.

  “Fine,” Jules said, grabbing my keys from my hand and unlocking the outside door to my apartment building. He seemed casual, but I could tell he was on alert. He didn't buy my story of a stranger hurting me, but he wasn’t pressing it either.

  “Which one are you in?”

  “Upstairs on the left,” I told him.

  He handed me back my keys and asked me to show him which one was for my door. I searched it out and handed it back to him, and seconds later he was unlocking the door to my apartment.

  The apartment was dark when we walked in, and my immediate reaction was to turn on a light. My hand reached out to the nearest lamp, but Jules’ hand clamped over mine.

  “Wait here,” he said as he began to do a sweep of the space.

  My apartment was a six hundred square foot, one bedroom/one
bath tiny space. I had an eclectic flower-print couch with a stylish high back oversized print chair in the living room and a sleek black coffee table. The kitchen had enough space for a table for two, but not enough space that two people could navigate around each other easily. It was also openly visible to the living room. There were two doors, one of which was my bedroom and the other, the bathroom. Jules did a quick scan and moved to my room. I cringed at him walking in my room knowing I had clothes all over the place. I must have tried on five outfits before I settled on my black dress. As quick as he entered my room, he left it and then opened the bathroom door.

  “You’re good. I got your keys. I’ll get your car back here, and drop your keys in the morning.”

  I moved into my living room and turned on a light. My artwork that covered the walls was suddenly illuminated. Bright colors and intricate pieces became showcased. I liked art. None of my pieces fit together, but the chaos of it totally worked. Most were prints I picked up from local artists. Jules stood behind me and took in the art. His finger trailed down my neck, and he said, “You surprise me, Jenny.” Then, he left before I could ask him what he meant.

  I locked my door behind him, then went into my bathroom and started the shower. I sat down on the closed toilet seat and put my head in my hands. What was I going to do? Antonio most likely had a role to play in Gus’ death, and now he was threatening Carlo and Gino. I love my family more than anything, and I could not let anything happen to another one of them. I needed to protect them.

  I peeled off my clothes, not caring that they landed half out of my overflowing hamper and looked at the damage in the light. The bruises on my thighs were bad, but I knew they would fade. I lifted the bandage that Jules placed over the bite and was grateful to see that it looked like the swelling went down some, and it wasn't as inflamed. I got into the shower and sat down on the bottom of the tub letting the hot water pour down on me.