Hurt You

by Abby Mccarthy

  “Babe,” he pants out, warning me he is close.

  I bend even more making it so that he is as deep as he can go. It’s heavenly. “I’m with you, Jules. Don't stop,” I scream out and then it happens, we both find that completely beautiful moment in each other.

  He holds me still for a few minutes.

  “Good morning, Mr. Federico,” I say playfully snuggling into my husband.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Federico,” Jules pulls out of me and lightly slaps my ass, “What are you still doing in bed? There’s a lot to do today.”

  I grin at him and walk naked across the room and into the bathroom. An hour later, which is fast for me considering everything I need to do, I step out of the bathroom. I’m wearing my long dress, my makeup is perfected, my hair is done, styled neatly in an up-do with about a zillion bobby pins. All I need are my shoes.

  “It’s about time,” Jules jokes when he hears the bathroom door open, and then freezes when he sees me.

  “What? Is my makeup smudged?” I asked.

  He approaches me with a sly grin on his face. I used the straight razor on him yesterday and his face is still incredibly smooth. His blue eyes dance with mischief.

  “Perfect. You’re perfect,” he says and kisses me hard and then sweet and soft in that typical Jules fashion. To hell with flawless makeup.

  ***

  I stand up from the white linen covered table and straighten out my gold fitted dress making sure that there are no wrinkles in the delicate material. I lightly tap my fork against the champagne flute and watch the bubbles dance inside the glass. I look over to Jules who gives me a reassuring grin. People are caught up in conversation and don't immediately catch on, or perhaps not everyone here is accustomed to this tradition. Mickey notices me and sticks two fingers in his mouth and lets out a quick whistle. People stop their conversations and the attention is on me.

  The wedding and reception are outside of a bed and breakfast. Tables are set up with linens in the middle of a flower garden. On one side of us, a lily pad covered pond reflects the warm afternoon sun. Scents of lilac and juniper are carried on the wind. This is the tame reception filled with immediate family and close friends, which still means that about fifty people are here.

  “As the Matron of Honor, I’d like to toast the happy couple,” I say and catch the eye of my best friend. Maura is stunning. Maura’s hair is in an up-do; one I spent the better half of the morning perfecting. Her make-up is flawless. Her eyes shine brightly and the blush on her cheeks illuminates the dimple she has from the permanent smile she’s carried all day. She has on a beautiful white lace gown on that isn't a traditional wedding gown, Its fitted and stops mid-calf showing off Maura’s toned calves. On her feet are silver jeweled heels that give her the bit of bad ass to her bride that Maura needs. Her new husband puts his arm around her shoulder and the two watch me. I take a deep breath and give it my all.

  “When I met Maura, both of us were in a place where we were searching for something. Maura was young and still didn't quite know who she was yet. She was figuring out what and whom she wanted out of life.” I smile and fix my eyes to the man standing beside her, then I move my eyes to Jules. “At the same time Maura was falling in love, I was also falling, but because of circumstance, I let that love slip through my fingers. Maura almost lost Corbin, you might not all know that, but it devastated her. She fought for him. Heck, she fought for me too. I was just so blinded by what I thought was the right thing that I didn't see it at the time. One thing I know is that when I met Maura, I not only gained the best friendship of my life, but she gave me all of you.” I turn first to Mickey, “You’re dad’s like a dad to me, thanks for sharing him,” then I turn to the other members of the club who are here, “You all risked your lives for me,” I turn to Turk who Maura and I used to out drink all of the time, “You risked your liver for me,” I then turn towards my mother and brothers, some of which are seated with us and some who are at the next table. My throat tightens at what I could’ve lost with my family and I can't form the words I need to give them, but maybe I don't need to give them. They know what we almost lost and what we have. I clasp the necklace around my throat and hold it near my heart and mouth I love you as I look at my family. “Maura gave me the necklace that I’m wearing today. It’s a Celtic Tree of Life and when she gave it to me she explained that it stood for balance and harmony. At the time, I had none of that, but I think it was her wish for me.” I look to Maura again who is smiling gently at me, “If I never walked into that bar and met you, I may have never found that. You helped give me that. Maybe you knew it that night when you suggested I ride with Jules that he would be my balance and harmony, maybe you didn't, but you brought us together. I know that you understand this feeling and that’s why you gave me the necklace because Corbin gave you the same feelings.” I make eye contact with Corbin, “Thank you for giving my best friend those things and thank you for loving her the way you do. May the two of you continue to live the happiest fullest life. You deserve it,” I finish my toast by raising the glass into the air. “To Maura and Corbin,” One of the brothers shouts. People follow suit, raising their glasses and I watch Corbin kiss his bride for the millionth time tonight.

  Jules pulls me down to sit on top of his lap. “Babe, that was beautiful,” he says and kisses my neck sending chills down my spine. Jules kisses never get old.

  It took me a long time to work through all the bad that Antonio left behind. Jules brought me back to the clubhouse and I was by his side, but it wasn’t until several more visits from Aubrey and a lot of counseling that I really became okay. I wanted to save everyone so badly that somewhere along the line, I didn't give myself the same value. I know that I was put into an impossible situation by a sick, demented man, but it’s taken me a while to understand that perhaps I did have options and that I just needed to trust.

  Jules has stuck by me every step of the way. Not to say that we haven’t had our own hurdles to get through along the way, but one of the things this whole experience has taught me is to trust Jules and to trust in us.

  “Are you about ready to get out of here? We have a long ride back and I can't wait to get you out of this dress,” Jules says to me, taking me out of my thoughts.

  Normally, I would protest at leaving this early, but I’m feeling more than a little exhausted today. “Let me go make the rounds and say goodnight. I’ll be right back,” I say kissing him softly on the lips and walking away.

  “Mom, do you have a second?” I ask pulling her away from a conversation with my sisters-in-law.

  “Of course, dear,” she says and takes another sip of her champagne.

  “The food was so good, don’t you think? I have to swap recipes with Rosalina,” she says as we pass Corbin’s stepmom Rosalina, who owns the bed and breakfast and his dad, dancing slowly on the dance floor.

  “It was delicious. I’m sure Rosalina would be happy to share some of them with you, but you may need to trade. I heard her going on about your gravy.”

  We walk away from the crowds and towards the pond. There is a warm breeze in the air.

  “It was really a lovely service, but you know it only made me wish I would’ve seen you and Jules get married,” she pouts.

  I groan, “Mom, you know after everything, we just needed it to be about the two of us.”

  “Still, who doesn't invite their mother to their wedding? And don’t get me started, the first one didn’t count. I felt like I was walking you more to your funeral.”

  I flinch at that. It’s still hard for me, knowing what Antonio put us all through. It took me a long time to say that; he hurt us all.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just what I wouldn’t have given to see you as happy as Maura is today.”

  “Oh Mom, I am. Everyday, I’m that happy. I did want to talk to you about something.”

  Her brow raises up in question.

  “Well, I thought that since you weren’t there for when I got married I would share so
mething with you that no one, not even Jules, knows yet.”

  Her eyes get big as I whisper my secret into her ear and then it’s followed with a hug and a few tears.

  We drove to the bed and breakfast because of all of the extra stuff I needed to bring. I couldn't be more grateful that we didn't ride. It's finally time to go and I'm exhausted. I fall asleep on the drive and don't wake until Jules shakes me as we pull into the clubhouse. Yes, the clubhouse. We’ve been living here while our cabin is being built. It’s not far from Daws and Aubrey's cabin, but it’s in the woods giving us more seclusion.

  “Babe, wake up. We’re here,” Jules opens my car door and picks me up. I’m so sleepy, I could sleep for days. He carries me in his arms and brings me through a different entrance than the bar entrance, one that is closer to our room.

  He unlocks the door and lays me down on the bed away from him so that he can unzip my dress. “When I said I couldn't wait to get you out of this dress, I was kind of hoping that you’d be conscious enough to help me do it,” he says with a hint of laughter in his voice.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just so tired,”

  “You feeling okay?” he asks while he pulls the dress down off of me exposing my black lace covered curvy hips.

  I sit up feeling slightly light headed. Jules notices this too, “Whoa, babe!”

  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Mrs. Federico, are you keeping secrets?” he questions but I can tell he is still trying to keep this light, even though he is concerned.

  “I have been, and it’s a doozy.” A smile flashes across my face, “Well, I went to the doctor to see about getting that IUD I had in place taken out,” I pause to watch his reaction and to see if he remembers that it’s the type of birth control I’ve used for years. His eyes say go on and so I do, “Well, the doctor said he’s never had this happen to him before, and that the odds of getting pregnant with an IUD in are…,” Jules cuts me off before I can finish.

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Are we having a baby? Are you pregnant with my baby in there?” he rubs my stomach nervously like he can't believe it.

  “Well, who else’s baby would I be carrying?” I say playfully and then continue, “The good news is I’m really early in my pregnancy and he was able to remove the IUD without any complications to me or the pregnancy.” We had just started talking about having kids and we definitely wanted to wait until the cabin was finished, but things happen.

  “God, I thought when you married me, I was the happiest I could ever be, but this! This news you just gave me. I am so fucking happy,” he kisses me, his soft lips press against mine and then he lays me down and makes sweet, tired, lazy love to me.

  In this moment, nothing else matters. My journey has been a long, hard road. We got here. The two of us together, well before we know it, it’ll be the three of us, and everything I endured to get to this moment is a distant memory because here I am, laying with the love of my life and growing his seed in my belly, and I know this man will never hurt me.

  Note to the reader:

  Thank you for reading this series and being on this journey with me. This has been only the beginning of my journey and you -the reader- make the journey better. I hope you’ve loved these characters as much as I do. Fight You and Hurt You have some very hard subject matter, but in each of these stories the women are survivors and fighters. Jenny may have seemed like she was just going along with things at times, but she fought hard for her family and although she was victimized, I only see her as a woman willing to endure hell for her family and that includes Jules.

  Will there be an ARI and Gino story? This is the last book in The Wrecked Series, however I may-and this is a very strong may-one day write a spin off book for the two of them. The end of this book really, really makes me want to, I just need to make sure they have the right story.

  If you are a victim of abuse in any form, help is available. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  Trust someone- a neighbor, a friend, a stranger. Just because someone broke your trust doesn't mean you shouldn’t give it to someone else.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you, first to the reader. I know, I just mentioned you in the note to the reader, but you’re important enough to thank again. Thank you, Nicole Reid. You have become a friend, a confidant, a plot and twist runner-by-er, just an overall amazing team Abby friend, I love you. Thank you Kevin, my husband- I love you. Thank you Louisa, Kerry, Jade, Kristine and Dawn- Blushing Babes are Up All Night rock! Thank you Hang Le-You make the most amazing haircuts, I mean covers :). Thank You Mary and Cheryl. Thank you to all of the amazing girls in Abby’s Awesome Allies- You’ve all made my day more than once. Dawn Robinson, I miss you. I miss you. Thank you Jessica and Shana for being the best friends that I could ever need, for never judging me, for loving my stupid dance moves-Jenny is a culmination of Shana, Jessica and myself. Thank you Fred, Katie and Melissa-we may all be so very different but we got each other’s backs no matter what and all three of the books in this series are very much about the strength from family. Thank you, Emily Smith-Kidman, Renee McKinney, Tiffany Payne and Lisa Hines, your continued support is amazing. Thank you, Indie Pixel Studio. Thank you to the beautiful blogs that have supported me.

  About Abby McCarthy

  Abby McCarthy is reader and a lover of words. She is a blogger turned author and released her first novel in May 2014. She is a mother of three, a wife and a dog person. She has always written, sometimes poetry, sometimes just to vent about failed relationships, however in parenthood she has found her voice to help keep her sanity. Words have flowed from her, to review and with the support of amazing friends in the Indie community she has decided to pursue her dream of writing! She loves to write and read romance, because isn't that something we all yearn for? Whether it be flowers and hand holding or just the right tug on your hair. Isn't that what life is about? The human connection?