Tonight and Forever

by Brenda Jackson

  She paused before continuing. “I’ve met him and, although I really don’t know him that well, both my mind and my heart are leading me to believe that he’s a good person, and that he won’t ever intentionally hurt her. I think he’s exactly who she needs now.”

  She reached out and touched Justin’s shoulder. “Thanks for being a captive audience. It felt good to talk to someone else about it.”

  Justin thought for a long moment before giving her a crooked smile. “You’re welcome. You can bend my ear anytime.”

  Syneda nodded. Satisfied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to mingle. I see a few people I know over there.” She turned to leave.

  “Syneda?”

  She looked back over her shoulder. “Yes, Justin?”

  His eyes met hers directly. “This, ah, client of yours. She sounds like someone who’s really a special person.”

  “She is, Justin. She’s a very special person.”

  “I hope she knows just what a true friend she has in you.”

  “No, Justin, it’s the other way around. I know just what a true friend I have in her. Long ago she was there for me when I was going through a difficult time in my life. And now, I can’t stand to see her hurting any longer.”

  It was strange how things worked out, Justin thought when Syneda walked away. Just a few nights ago, he’d wondered who could provide him with answers to his questions about Lorren. And without even asking, Syneda, in a roundabout way, had told him basically all he needed to know—at the moment. Anything else would have to come directly from Lorren. What he’d found out had explained a lot, especially some of her behavior.

  Justin drew in a deep breath. Lorren was the most sensuous woman he’d ever met. How could she discount her worth as a woman? Her ex-husband had really done a number on her.

  He leaned against the wooden post and thought of the times he and Lorren had spent together since meeting at Ms. Nora’s party—especially last night. When he’d arrived back at her place from the hospital, she had stood in the open door for him. Somehow, she had understood how he’d felt. It was as if she had read his inner thoughts, had known his inner feelings, and had responded to them by offering him comfort and compassion.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d freely taken either of those things from a woman. But he had accepted them easily from her. By being there for him, she had shared a part of herself, a major concession on her part, and deep down he knew it. He also knew she’d been willing to go further last night. But, somehow, he had found the strength to walk away from her and the complete surrender she had offered.

  He had walked away…

  Justin took a sharp intake of breath. Did Lorren see his walking away as another rejection? Did she realize that he’d done them both a tremendous favor by pulling back?

  He heaved an exasperated sigh. No, she wouldn’t realize it. Not in her present frame of mind. She would definitely see it as a rejection.

  He ran his hand across his chin. He had to convince Lorren that he hadn’t rejected her. Somehow he had to make her understand.

  The night air was unusually cool, Lorren thought, stepping out onto her porch. The heavy aroma of smoked spareribs and well-seasoned steamed blue crabs floated on the breeze. The tantalizing smell was coming through the trees from Justin’s place.

  She should have stayed inside. Unable to concentrate on her writing, she should have done something else, like read a book or watch television. She didn’t particularly want to think about Justin tonight; she wanted to think of other things.

  But she had nothing else to think about.

  Even while sleeping last night, thoughts of him had plagued her. Desire for him had hummed through her body, causing her to shift restlessly in bed, aching for his touch.

  A touch she would never feel again.

  Smoothing her skirt, she sat down on the bottom step, stretching out her legs. Someone once said, “the truth shall set you free.” Well, in her case, learning the truth had placed her in even more bondage. For the first time, she was beginning to think moving back to Ennis had not been such a good idea after all.

  She had been a fool to think she could start over. No matter where she went, she couldn’t run away from the truth of who she was and what she was. She was a woman with the inability to take care of a man’s physical needs. Therefore, she would never be able to share a serious relationship with any man.

  Long ago she had learned the best way to protect herself was to stay away from any sort of involvement and to maintain an emotional distance as a safety precaution. She had let her guard down with Justin and was paying for it now. She would have to be more careful in the future. Her peace of mind depended on it.

  Justin leaned against the oak tree, glad Lorren hadn’t noticed him yet so he could study her. Just looking at her gave him such a sense of pleasure. Lorren Jacobs and her eyes, the color of rich caramel, demanded a second look, and a third. A man would have to be a fool not to appreciate her beauty.

  And a man would have to be far worse than a fool not to appreciate her as a woman. Her touch was fire. It rushed through him like a brush blaze caught by the wind. The times they’d kissed, desire, the likes of which he’d never known, pulsed through him, making his need for her insistent and monumental.

  But it didn’t just stop there. He knew there was more to her than just sensuality and physical beauty.

  Lorren was different from any woman he’d been involved with since Denise. From their initial meeting that night, there had been something about her that had drawn him to her like a moth to a flame. And whatever it was, it still held him captured, entranced.

  Now, knowing a little about her past life, he could just imagine the pain she had gone through; the misgivings and uncertainties she still felt. For some unexplainable reason, he felt attuned to her and sensitive to her feelings. And he knew, without a doubt, he would not be completely satisfied until all her barriers were gone.

  Sighing deeply, he moved away from the tree and began walking toward her.

  Lorren sensed someone’s presence in the woods and drew in a quick, startled breath.

  “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Justin said, coming forward.

  “Justin?” She sat up straighter, feeling somewhat nervous. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the party with your guests?” she asked in a strained voice.

  Justin sat down beside her on the wooden step. “Everyone has left except for my brother Clayton and Syneda. And they’re too engrossed in a discussion of law to notice my absence. You can’t imagine how dull it can be when two attorneys get together.”

  “Why are you here?”

  “I heard you were a little under the weather. Thought I’d drop by to see if there’s anything I can do.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “About last night, Lorren.”

  “I’d rather not talk about it, Justin.”

  “That may be true for you, but I need to talk about it.”

  Lorren stood. “Then talk to yourself, because I don’t intend to listen.”

  Justin reached up and gently touched her arm. “Please, let’s talk.”

  She frowned. This didn’t make sense. Why was he here? Now that he knew the truth, he wasn’t supposed to come back.

  “Please, Lorren,” Justin repeated quietly. He wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from the pain of the past. But first, he had to straighten things out between them.

  Something in Justin’s voice pulled at Lorren. She stared at him for a moment before finally giving in and returning to the seat beside him. She firmed her lips. If he wanted to talk, she would let him. For once she wouldn’t run away. There was nothing he could say that would be worse than what Scott had already said.

  “I owe you an apology for last night, Lorren. I almost pushed you into doing something you weren’t ready to do. We were both upset about the accident, and were going to use sex as a way of comforting each other. And as much as I wanted
you, that wouldn’t have been right. No matter what you might think of me, I would never deliberately take advantage of you. I’m glad we stopped when we did, and I’m sorry I lost control of the situation.”

  Justin’s words left Lorren more than a little stunned. Her lashes flickered, and a cord in her throat tightened. She didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t pulled away because he’d found her lacking? He had pulled away to not take advantage of her? He had actually wanted her?

  “But I thought—”

  “Yes? What did you think, Lorren?”

  “Nothing. It’s not important.”

  Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Lorren fingered the fabric of her skirt, knowing she should say something. Justin spoke before she had a chance to. “Will you forgive me, Lorren?”

  She shrugged. “There’s really nothing to forgive, Justin. What almost happened was just as much my fault, too. As you said, we were both upset and feeling kind of down over the accident. It was just a natural reaction to turn to each other that way.”

  Lorren felt Justin’s arms go around her, and in one smooth sweep, he moved her to his lap. Taken by surprise, she opened her mouth to say something. She couldn’t recall what she’d wanted to say when Justin tenderly nestled her in his strong arms.

  She could hear the sound of his heartbeat against her face, and could smell the manly scent of him. His chin rested atop her head, his arms wrapped securely around her. His tender hold and the soft stroke of his fingers on her arm were caring. The tensions caused by her jumping to conclusions slowly began leaving her body, and she surrendered to the protectiveness of his embrace, feeling warm and contented.

  For a long moment Justin continued to hold her, rocking her gently in his arms. Never before had any man shown her so much tenderness. Never had anything she wanted to feel so wrong felt so right. The feeling was wonderful, but at the same time terrifying. She was attuned to his closeness, his strength, and the hardness of his body. She threw her head back and their eyes met and held. She was startled by the warmth displayed in the depths of his eyes.

  “I should go in now, Justin,” she whispered. “It’s getting late.”

  Reluctantly, he released her, allowing her to stand. Lorren smoothed down her skirt and straightened her blouse. When she had finished, Justin rose to his feet in a swift, seamless movement and gently pulled her to him. His lips moved in a soft caress, tracing a path across her forehead, the tip of her nose, then across her cheek and to the base of her neck. Leaning over slightly, he touched her mouth very lightly with his.

  Lifting his head, he looked down at her. His gaze was gentle. “You do know things aren’t completely settled between us, don’t you?”

  Lorren swallowed and shifted her eyes downward a little. “What do you mean?”

  “As I told you before, I’m not into one-night stands. And I’m not interested in a casual entanglement either.”

  “What exactly are you interested in, Justin?”

  “For now, I want to spend some time with you. I want us to get to know each other without your putting up a wall. If you’d like, you can call the shots. We won’t do anything you don’t want to. I’m willing to take things slow.”

  Lorren swallowed again. The last thing she needed was to become involved with Justin. But somehow, she felt involved with him already. He was the first man who made her blood race, whose touch stole the very breath from her lungs, and whose kisses made her entire body burn. And he had admitted he wanted her. For those reasons, shouldn’t she try discovering more of him? And along with him, shouldn’t she try discovering more of herself?

  “All right.” She trembled when she finally said the words.

  Justin’s embrace tightened, drawing her closer. “You won’t regret it.” He wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

  “So, how was the cookout?”

  “It was okay, but you were missed. I know it’s kind of late, but I’d like you to meet Clayton. Will you walk with me over to my place?”

  Lorren felt tension seep out of her, leaving her oddly relieved and feeling closer to Justin. “Sure, why not. Besides, if we don’t put an end to your brother and Syneda’s conversation, it might go on forever. She gets kind of fired up whenever she discusses law.”

  Justin laughed. “So does Clayton. But when I left them, they weren’t discussing it, they were debating it. They couldn’t seem to agree on any of the issues.”

  Lorren stuck her hands into the pockets of her skirt as they started walking back toward Justin’s place.

  Never had she felt this sense of serenity with anyone since her divorce, a sense of well-being Justin could instill so effortlessly.

  Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he pulled her closer to his side. They began walking toward the front of the house. Taking the path through the trees, they headed toward the spot where Justin’s brother and Syneda stood in deep conversation.

  Lorren could no longer deny she drew comfort from the strong arms around her.

  Chapter 7

  “S he’s a girl, Dr. J.!” The little boy with a mop of curly black hair snarled.

  “You must be Erick,” Lorren replied, trying to hide her grin. Upon opening the door, she’d found Justin with five youngsters surrounding him.

  “No, she’s not,” a brown-eyed boy with toasted skin answered beboppingly. “She’s a knockout.”

  Lorren laughed. “Thanks. And who are you?”

  “I’m Charlie. The C in my name stands for cool.”

  “Oh, all right, Charlie,” Lorren said, grinning and turning her attention to the remaining three youngsters. “Now who do we have here?”

  “I’m Derick, ma’am. Erick’s twin brother,” a third little boy answered. “But we’re not identical twins,” the youngster with close-cropped, curly black hair said shyly.

  In more ways than one, Lorren thought, gazing at the mild-mannered Derick, then back at Erick, his surly twin brother, who was eyeing her with distaste.

  “I’m Conan,” the fourth little boy replied. His oval face was cocoa in color, and his gorgeous ebony eyes matched his tight curly hair. “My friends call me the ‘Barbarian.’”

  “Oh,” Lorren answered as a smile touched her lips. “I’ll try remembering that. Who’re you?” she asked the remaining little boy with dark brown curly hair who was clinging shyly to Justin’s hand. It was obvious he was the youngest of the group. His small bashful face held the innocence of an angel. She fell in love with him at once.

  “That’s Vincent, ma’am,” Derick answered. “He doesn’t talk much. He’s only five, but Dr. J. always invites him along with us big guys.”

  Lorren’s smile widened. “Hello, Vincent. How are you?”

  The little boy cast Justin an uneasy look. Justin nodded his head, then the boy answered softly, “Fine.”

  “She’s not even ready, Dr. J.!” Erick stormed. “Just like a girl to make us have to wait.”

  “You’re wrong, Erick,” Lorren chuckled. “I’m ready. I just need help getting my things to the car.”

  “We don’t have a car. Dr. J. brought an RV,” Conan quickly corrected her.

  “That’s right,” Lorren replied. “He did mention he would.”

  “I bet she’s bringing a whole bunch of stuff we won’t be needing. Girl’s stuff. We’re going to be crowded out, Dr. J.,” Erick stated in disgust.

  Lorren tapped her finger thoughtfully to her chin. “In that case I may as well leave behind the huge container full of homemade brownies and cookies I was bringing along.”

  That statement captured the boys’ attention. Justin, who had been quiet all this time, released a hearty laugh. “I was wondering how long it would take you to wrap them around your finger.”

  Lorren smiled up at him. She hadn’t seen him since the cookout Thursday night. He looked handsome as ever. She had never seen such beautiful thick eyelashes on a man before. They were lashes a woman would kill for.

  “Hey you guys, this is Lorren Jacobs. She’s a
friend of mine and will be our special guest for the weekend.”

  “We’ve never taken a girl along before, Dr. J.,” Erick replied, not bothering to hide his displeasure. “Why is she coming? What makes her so special?”

  Complete silence fell upon the group. They eyed both Lorren and Justin speculatively, waiting for Justin’s answer. Lorren noticed even Vincent had emerged from his hiding place behind Justin to analyze them.

  “First of all, she was kind enough to fill in for Mr. Bob. He couldn’t make it this trip. Now, let me see what makes her so special.”

  Justin then tipped his head to one side as if studying Lorren. “Ummm…she’s pretty. Real pretty. She can cook. She understands and likes children, because she writes books especially for them to read. And when you guys get older you’ll discover all men like having a girl around every once in a while to keep them in line. I guess all those things make her special.”

  Lorren felt herself tint from Justin’s statement, feeling just as special as he’d made her sound.

  “You keep Dr. J. in line?” Charlie asked, as if the task was a monumental undertaking.

  Her eyes squinted with laughter. “I try my best.”

  “Wow!” the boys exclaimed in unison.

  Justin laughed. “Come on, you guys. That’s enough questions. How about grabbing those things over there and heading on out to the RV. And watch your step.”

  When the boys were out of hearing range, Justin turned to Lorren. His gaze held her so intently she was only vaguely aware his arm had slipped around her waist. He pulled her against his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Are you ready to have a terrific weekend?”

  Lorren took a step back and gazed up at him. “I’m more than ready.”

  Justin smiled. “Good. John and Juanita should be there with their group about an hour after we arrive.” He extended his hand to her. “Let’s go. The guys are waiting.”