Tonight and Forever

by Brenda Jackson

  “Is this a recreational vehicle or an apartment on wheels?” Lorren asked, stepping on board the huge RV and glancing around.

  Talk about going camping with all the necessities! It was equipped with a refrigerator and stove, private toilet and shower facilities, a game table, enough room to sleep at least six people comfortably, a disc player, a television and VCR.

  Justin chuckled. “I ask myself the same question whenever I’m using it. You may as well make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride. It’ll take a couple of hours to get where we’re going.”

  “When can we start eating the goodies?” Erick asked excitedly licking his lips, his discontent with Lorren’s gender suddenly forgotten.

  “Not for a while yet. You just finished breakfast. Besides, it’s too early for sweets,” Justin answered, getting behind the steering wheel and snapping his seat belt in place. “Try keeping yourselves busy until snack time.”

  “When is snack time?” Charlie asked eagerly.

  “Not for at least another hour or so,” Justin replied, grinning. Now he understood what his mother meant when she claimed he and his brothers almost ate her out of house and home when they were kids. Little boys seemed to have bottomless pits instead of stomachs.

  Apparently satisfied with Justin’s answer, the boys, with the exception of Vincent, went toward the back of the RV. Vincent, Lorren noticed, had curled up on one of the sofa-sleepers and was going to sleep. “Vincent isn’t very talkative, Justin. Are you sure he’s feeling well?” she asked with concern.

  “That’s just the way he is. He’s the newest member of the group, and is still somewhat shy. He’s only been with the Society a little over a year, and during that time he’s come a long way. He’s the lone survivor of an automobile accident that killed both his parents and little sister.”

  Lorren shuddered as painful memories resurfaced. Her own parents had been killed in a car accident. She would never forget how she, at the age of eight, had taken a final stroll with her parents when she’d walked behind their caskets up the aisle of the church.

  “And to make matters worse,” Justin continued, “Vincent had no other family. When he first arrived he was scared and withdrawn. He’s slowly coming around. I spend more time with him than I do the other boys. He still has a few medical problems as a result of the accident.”

  “Nothing serious, I hope.”

  Justin shook his head. “Not anymore. He’s coming along nicely.”

  Lorren met his gaze. “I’m glad you get to spend a lot of time with him, Justin. The worst thing anyone can do is let him continue to withdraw. I went through something similar when I first went to live with Mama Nora and Papa Paul. If it hadn’t been for their love and patience, I don’t think I could have survived emotionally. It’s very hard to adjust when you’ve lost everyone you’ve ever loved.”

  They remained silent for the remainder of the trip until the boys interrupted them for a snack.

  They finally reached the campgrounds of Davy Crockett National Forest. Justin delegated the boys the task of unpacking the smaller items from the RV. To Lorren’s surprise, the five of them worked well together.

  John and Juanita Graham arrived with their group within the hour. Lorren took an immediate liking to the attractive woman who was married to Justin’s old college friend.

  Juanita had smooth almond skin, high cheekbones, ebony eyes, and a bubbly and friendly smile. Her short curly hair fit almost caplike around her head, emphasizing the beauty of her features and giving her a dark, sultry look, even while dressed in a pair of jeans and an oversize T-shirt.

  John, Lorren learned, was a Texas Ranger and was nearly as handsome as Justin, with maple skin and tawny-colored eyes. Before the Grahams left for their own camping site, they had talked Justin and Lorren into making plans for the four of them to get together for dinner sometime in the near future.

  It was wonderful to get away and enjoy the solitude of the wild, Lorren thought. To her dismay, she discovered tremendous pleasure in watching Justin take charge. Dressed in a pair of well-worn jeans that fit his body snugly, and a short-sleeved blue shirt, he looked perfectly at home in his surroundings.

  As he worked diligently getting camp set up, Lorren’s gaze encompassed his sleek body, the perspiration-sheened brown skin of his bare back after he’d removed his shirt, and the play of muscles across his torso whenever he reached for something.

  A couple of times he caught her looking at him and gave her a huge arrogant grin, as if reading her thoughts. She quickly turned her head, embarrassed at being caught, but glanced back at him minutes later.

  They spent the rest of the day exploring the park and taking hikes with John, Juanita, and their group. Later that day, Justin, Charlie, and Erick went fishing for their dinner. When they returned Lorren was delegated the task of cooking their catch. She became the hit of the day when she surprised them with a hidden dessert she’d brought along, a huge chocolate cake.

  Justin insisted Lorren sleep inside the RV, but she had other ideas and started to protest until Charlie mentioned certain unmentionables, like snakes, bears, and mosquitoes. Justin and the boys really roughed it by bedding down on the ground in sleeping bags with the stars for their roof and a pile of leaves for their pillows.

  By the time Lorren settled into the RV that night, every muscle in her thighs ached, her backside felt sore and her feet were tender. No sooner did her head touch the pillow than she went quickly to sleep.

  They awakened early the next morning to Justin’s breakfast of biscuits and sausage, hot chocolate for the boys, and coffee for them. It was another full day of vigorous activities. By four o’clock that evening, they were all packed to return home.

  Lorren had thoroughly enjoyed herself. The boys, to her surprise and utter amazement, turned out to be a bunch of darlings. They, along with Justin, catered to her every whim. It had been wonderful enjoying the simple pleasures of camping, such as singing songs and exchanging ghost stories over an open fire and hiking in the woods. The camping trip also afforded her an opportunity to see another side of Justin.

  She realized just what a genuinely caring man he really was, and saw in him a sensitivity that overwhelmed her. It was evident he loved kids, and the boys adored him. His time had been their time, their survival, his, and their happiness, his enjoyment. She didn’t miss the expressions of gaiety on Justin’s face when Vincent and Erick recited poems they’d learned in school, or his expression of deep interest as he listened to Conan expound on his desire to one day become an astronaut.

  He had hugged Derick with loving arms when he had caught the biggest catch of the day, and had gently but sternly scolded Charlie for his insistence that he be allowed to go spend some time with a group of Girl Scouts he’d discovered camping nearby.

  Justin had made them laugh with his rendition of the Fat Albert character. Later, he pulled out a guitar and, ignoring the snickers and giggles from the boys, played her a beautiful love song.

  Although there was sexual tension surrounding them on the camping trip, they were able to harness it, most of the time. However, more than once their eyes met over an open fire.

  Later that night, when Justin took Lorren home after dropping the boys off, he helped her unload her gear into the house. They worked in silence until the job was done. Afterward, she walked him to the RV.

  “Thanks for coming along, Lorren. You were a big hit with the boys, and I thoroughly enjoyed your company.”

  “Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time. The boys were wonderful, and John and Juanita are really super people.”

  Justin nodded. “Are you planning to go to the National Polka Festival?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you going with anyone?”

  “No.”

  “Would you go with me?”

  Lorren smiled. “Do you promise to bring me straight home afterward?”

  Justin chuckled. “If you insist, but you have to admit our being at Bristol Tra
il may have been a blessing for those two kids.”

  Lorren shuddered slightly, remembering the accident. Earlier Justin had given her an update on the teenagers’ conditions. Although improved, their conditions were still guarded. “Maybe it was at that.”

  “Well, I better get along. I need to return the RV tonight. I guess I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay.”

  Justin stepped closer. Lorren gazed up at his face, just a couple of inches above hers. He gently pulled her to him. “How do you manage to stay slim and trim when you bake so well?” He placed his arms around her slender waist and drew her closer.

  Her response was an amusing laugh. “I usually don’t bake for myself. I enjoy baking for other people.” She unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck. He didn’t seem as surprised at her boldness as much as she did.

  “You can bake for me anytime,” he said huskily, before bringing his lips to hers. His tongue sought hers, tentative at first, then with more assurance when he felt her response.

  As their mouths clung together, his hands pulled her body closer to him. Moments later he reluctantly pulled away. “Yes sirree, you can bake for me anytime,” he whispered in between quick breaths.

  Lorren smiled. “I’ll remember that.”

  “How about joining me in a late-night swim when I get back?” he suggested in a deep husky voice.

  She moistened her lips with her tongue as a tingling sensation settled in the pit of her stomach from his touch. She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  His hand brushed her cheek. Dark eyes met hers. “I happen to think it’s a great idea.”

  Lorren smiled, feeling the gentle pressure of his hand on her face. She was tempted to turn her head and touch the tip of her tongue against his fingers. Instead she said, “You would be the one to think so. If my memory serves me correctly, the one and only time we went swimming together, you didn’t play fair.”

  Justin laughed. “I didn’t play fair? Lady, you give a whole new meaning to the word cheat.”

  “I do not.”

  “Oh, yes you do.”

  Lorren stuck her tongue out at him. Justin quickly captured it with his mouth, all firm with need. Lorren felt fire race down to her toes and back, settling in the core of her.

  She moaned deep in her throat as she gave herself up to Justin’s touch and taste. His hand wandered up and down, caressing first her hips through the fabric of her shorts, then her bottom.

  The kiss continued for a long moment until, breathless, Justin drew back. “Lorren Jacobs, you’re going to be the death of me yet.”

  She gazed up at him with eyes alive with desire. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I want you so much I could die.”

  “Oh, Justin.” Lorren curled into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head upon his chest. “You really mean that, don’t you?” Disbelief, then acceptance, was in her voice.

  Her words, spoken in a heartfelt whisper, tore through Justin. It was hard to believe that a woman so beautiful and desirable could harbor insecurities about herself and her ability to be wanted by a man.

  “Yes, baby. I really meant it. Trust me.”

  He pulled Lorren closer in his embrace until every inch of his body touched every available inch of hers. His body shook with the intensity of the emotions he felt inside. They stood that way for an endless length of time.

  “Lorren,” Justin breathed, lifting her face with one of his fingers under her chin, “I told you the other night I was willing to take things slow. I meant it then, but now I want to say the hell with slowness. And unless you’re in agreement with me, I suggest you go on into the house.”

  Lorren pushed away from Justin’s chest and looked up into his eyes. Without saying anything, she slowly turned and walked away. When she got halfway to the door, she turned around. Justin was leaning against the RV, with one foot crossed over the other at the ankle and folded arms across his chest. His eyes were directly on her, watching her intently.

  She knew her lips were swollen and must look a sight, but nonetheless, she tilted them in a smile. “Justin?”

  “Yes?”

  “There’s always tomorrow.”

  Justin nodded, returning her smile. He dared not hope her words were hinting at possibilities of things yet to come.

  Lorren turned and hurried on inside.

  Justin kept his gaze on Lorren until she’d entered the house and locked the door behind her. He took a deep, calming breath before reaching for the doorknob on the RV.

  “Yeah, there’s always tomorrow,” he said softly.

  Chapter 8

  L orren couldn’t sleep.

  The soft spattering rain could be heard beating gently against the window, and not too far away the sound of distant thunder rumbled across the sky. However, it wasn’t the weather keeping her awake. She couldn’t get Justin out of her mind.

  Sighing, she slid out of bed and crossed the room. Turning on one of the small lamps on the dresser, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked, she admitted, like the same woman who had arrived in Ennis a couple of weeks ago. But she realized something was different, something not showing that was deep within.

  She had fallen in love.

  Lorren had sworn after her experience with Scott, she would never fall prey to that emotion again, but somehow what she’d merely shrugged off as a physical attraction to Justin had been transformed into love. Genuine love. And with that startling clarity, she could now admit that what she’d felt for Scott was nothing compared to what she was feeling for Justin.

  Straightening, she switched off the lamp and got back into bed. Lying in darkness, she gazed up at the ceiling, reflecting on her relationship with Justin. In a little more than a few days she had gained so much insight into who he was as a man, a doctor, and a person. She had dated Scott for eight months before they had married, and had never really known him or what he’d been capable of doing until it had been too late.

  Her ragged sigh echoed in the quiet stillness of the room. Even though Justin had admitted he believed in love, he didn’t love her. Lorren knew she was merely someone he was spending time with while waiting patiently for that special woman he believed fate would deliver to him.

  She had been hurt too deeply in the past to allow herself to assume that, although Justin enjoyed her friendship, company, and the growing passion between them, he wanted more. She was determined never to make the same mistake with him that she’d made with Scott by assuming too much.

  A lone tear fell from Lorren’s eye, making its way down her cheek. Would love always be something she could touch but never hold on to?

  The gentle sound of the rain soon lulled Lorren. Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks as the heaviness of sleep touched her.

  The roar of thunder grew louder. Lorren awoke, startled, hearing the torrential rain pounding against the window. Lightning flashed everywhere.

  Gripping the bedcovers, she battled with fear, not of the storm but the memories it seemed to evoke. Severe thunderstorms often made her remember the night her parents had gotten killed. And tonight, the memories were stronger than ever.

  Drawing the covers around her, she scrunched deeper into the pillows. Howling winds beat against the windows and jagged streaks of lightning tormented the sky. Lorren covered her ears with her hands to drown out the perilous noise. She didn’t want to remember.

  Justin’s words filtered through her mind. Don’t forget I’m next door if you need anything. No matter how late it is…

  Unable to confront the memories any longer, she jumped out of bed, shoved on her slippers, and grabbed her robe. Dismissing the danger, she ran from the house into the pouring rain to the one person she needed most.

  She ran to Justin.

  Justin groaned as he pulled the pillow over his head in an attempt to drown out the incessant knocking at his door. He was too absorbed in his dream to be distracted.

&
nbsp; …Silken arms reached up to encircle his neck as he captured eager lips in a seductive kiss. He released her mouth momentarily to drink in the beauty of her naked brown body. Desire surged through him each time he looked at her. Caramel-colored eyes, aflame with a heated hunger; gazed back at him. He rose above her, proud and powerful, wanting to be tender, yet desperately wanting to be inside her…

  The knocking became more persistent as reality invaded the deep recesses of his mind and abruptly ended his dream. Struggling to throw off the covers, he groped for his pajama bottoms and hurriedly put them on. Who in their right mind would venture out at this ungodly hour of the night and in this wretched weather? He left the bedroom and muttered an obscenity when his toe came in contact with the coffee table, Limping, he finally reached the door and yanked it open.

  “Lorren!” His surprise was immediately replaced by concern. Her nightclothes were drenched, and she shook from head to toe. At first he thought the cause was the chilling rain, then he saw the terror in her eyes and face.

  “What’s the matter? Baby, what’s wrong?”

  Petrified caramel eyes pleaded understanding. “I—I…the storm…I don’t want to remember,” she answered incoherently. Her voice was a mere whisper before the flash of a jagged spear of lightning and the sound of a mighty roar of thunder propelled her into his arms.

  Justin held her tight against him, not caring he was getting soaked in the process. Cradling her tenderly in his arms, he picked her up. After kicking the door shut, he carried her into his bedroom. Gently placing her in a huge recliner near the bed, he knelt beside her. Softly stroking wet hair from her face he said, “It’s okay. You’re here with me. You’re safe.”

  Her eyes fluttered open. She gazed down at him.

  “Are you all right, Lorren?”

  She closed her eyes, remembering another time when she had run out into the storm at night. She nodded weakly, still trembling.

  “You need to get out of these wet things, take a hot shower, and dry your hair. Do you think you can manage by yourself, or do you need my help?”