Tonight and Forever

by Brenda Jackson

  He rested his cheek on the top of her head. If her ex-husband was around this very minute, he would do the man in for what he’d done to her.

  “He lied to you, Lorren. Trust me.” Justin shifted positions, and she could feel the heat of him, rigid from wanting her again. “See how quickly and easily my body responds to you. Feel pride in your power as a woman, your ability to bring pleasure this way. You did more than just live up to my expectations. You went above and beyond my wildest dream. Nothing could have prepared me for what we shared. Nothing. I feel like I’ve been to heaven and back. It’s not the act of lovemaking itself that makes it special, but the person you share it with. Making love with you was special. It was earth-shattering, and something I could never forget.”

  Lorren knew she would never feel more like a woman or love Justin more than she did at that very moment. In his arms she had learned what it was to make love, truly make love.

  Their eyes met and held for a long, silent moment before Justin leaned over, parted her lips with his tongue, and eased inside. Her arms went around his neck as she drew his tongue deeper into her mouth, then gave hers to him.

  Love, strong and deep, swelled within Lorren, and Justin once again went about transporting her to a world of indescribable beauty and passion.

  The moon reached out and grappled a dark cloud for possession of what remained of the night.

  The storm was over.

  Justin drew a long breath and slowly expelled it. Lorren was nestled up against him, asleep in his arms. He gazed down tenderly at her, studying the warm sensual glow of peace on her face. With care, not wanting to wake her, he slid his arms around her, gently bringing her closer to him.

  He stared at her in awed wonder. Never in his life had making love with anyone been so powerful, so magnificent, so intoxicating, so satisfying.

  Never.

  He turned his head away—from looking at her with the admission that that included his lovemaking with Denise.

  The truth hammered into him with all the force of a tidal wave. What he’d always believed to be the ultimate in sexual fulfillment in the arms of the woman he’d loved and married didn’t come close to what he had experienced tonight with Lorren.

  And that realization shook him to the core, because he didn’t know if perhaps his lovemaking with Denise wasn’t as exciting as it could have been, or if making love with Lorren was going far beyond anything he thought possible.

  He had loved Denise, both physically and emotionally, in a gentle kind of way. The passions he’d shared tonight with Lorren had been wild and feverish.

  A knot formed in his throat as he looked down at the gold coin medallion resting on his naked chest. It was his visible, tangible bond to Denise.

  In sleep, Lorren’s tousled head lay against the medallion. Earlier, her tears had bathed it when she’d cried. A part of him had known the exact moment of contact.

  It was that part of him that had reached out to Lorren when she had needed to be comforted.

  It was that inner part of him no other woman had touched since Denise.

  It was his heart.

  Chapter 9

  P ulling on a pair of jeans, Justin couldn’t help gazing down at Lorren, asleep in his bed, bathed in the warm glow of the morning light. A mass of glossy dark brown hair framed her face and shoulders, making her even more beautiful.

  His gaze lingered on the dark tips of her bare breasts for an instant, before leaning over to cover her completely with the bedspread.

  He left the bedroom for the kitchen. After a night of vigorous lovemaking, he had a ferocious appetite. It took only a few minutes to get the coffee started, then he went back and checked on Lorren. Finding her still asleep, he returned to the kitchen to phone his office, hope riding high on this call. His first patient, Mrs. Breland, was due in the office at eleven, but was notorious for last-minute cancellations.

  Moments later, Justin hung up the phone, smiling. Mrs. Breland hadn’t failed him. His first appointment was not until one o’clock. That would give him extra time to spend with Lorren before he’d have to leave.

  There were a lot of questions concerning their relationship floating around in his mind. He needed answers. He’d lain awake most of the night, trying to figure out what sort of relationship he wanted with Lorren and what sort of relationship she would agree to. All he was sure of at the moment was that he wanted her.

  And he wanted her badly. He was afraid to look at the possibilities beyond that one emotion.

  The smell of coffee brought Lorren instantly awake. Opening her eyes, she found herself in bed alone. She sucked in a deep breath as memories of Justin’s lovemaking filtered through her mind. It had been the most beautiful thing she’d ever experienced.

  On her wedding night, Scott’s performance should have forewarned her of his downright selfish nature. The lovemaking had been rushed and totally unfulfilling for her. It had left her wondering what all the fuss over making love had been about.

  Now she knew.

  Justin had been right. It wasn’t the act itself that made it special, but the person you shared it with.

  The thought that she’d pleased Justin filled her with a multitude of emotions—joy, delight, and relief. The sexual gratification he’d experienced with her had been real, and she was still in awe of it. His body had been warm and hard, and his whole being had vibrated under her touch.

  He’d burrowed deeper and deeper inside of her, whispering words in her ear, letting her know just how good she made him feel. He’d released a loud moan before climaxing with her name on his lips. They’d made love over and over, their hunger for each other insatiable.

  “You look like you belong in my bed.”

  Lorren turned her head in the direction of the deep, sexy masculine voice. Justin stood shirtless in the doorway of the bedroom. Lorren’s mouth went dry as her gaze raked his dark muscular body. He was such a good-looking man—in or out of his clothes.

  Sauntering over to the bed wearing jeans that clung to his body like a second skin, he knelt on the bed, drawing her to him. His long hard kiss left her weak, filled with need and desire. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he pulled her closer to him.

  “We need to talk, Lorren. About us.”

  Lorren nodded, unable at the moment to say anything. Held within the circle of his arms, she gazed into his dark eyes. She felt too weak after the kiss they’d shared to speak.

  A fresh jolt of sensual shocks raced through her when Justin’s fingers threaded through the thickness of her hair, tightening around the silken strands.

  “I want you, Lorren. I want you to be mine,” he whispered. His hand leisurely stroked her body, sensitizing every inch of her skin.

  Lorren sucked in her breath sharply at the feel of his hands on her. She allowed her mind to zero in on the words he’d spoken. He wanted to claim her as his. But not forever, and not as the woman he loved or wanted to marry. He wanted her to be his, the woman he could share his passion with.

  Tell him you love him, an inner voice urged. Tell him you’re no longer afraid to want all the things he believes in. Tell him how he’s single-handedly destroyed your resolve against love and marriage. Tell him you’re no longer confused about what you want in life, as long as that life includes him.

  Another part of her mind screamed, Girl, don’t be a fool! He hasn’t said anything that should make you think he wants more than what he’s asking for. All he wants is an affair, not a lifetime commitment. And if he thinks you’re getting too attached, he may back off. Then you’ll be alone again. Remember what he told you. Even though he sanctions love and marriage, he believes in fate, and that one day the special woman he’s holding out for will eventually come into his life. He hasn’t given any indication that he thinks you’re the one, so just appreciate the time the two of you’ll share until things come to an end.

  Justin stilled Lorren from any further thoughts when he captured her face in his hands, making her gaze into
his eyes. The look in them was a mixture of passion and tenderness.

  “I have to know you won’t put roadblocks between us again tomorrow. I need to know for sure, Lorren.”

  The force of Justin’s gaze swept through Lorren, making her want to scream out the depth of her feelings for him. Speechlessly, breathlessly, she shook her head.

  “Say it, Lorren. I want to hear it from your lips. Tell me you’re mine.”

  Mixed emotions filled Lorren. He was asking for a commitment. A commitment without a future. A commitment until he had his fill of her. Could she handle that? She would be entering into a relationship with him with both eyes wide open and her heart on a platter.

  Moving her fingers gently over the slight roughness of his unshaven jaw, with her heart in her throat she answered, “Yes, Justin. I’m yours.”

  Justin hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until Lorren’s words were said, her commitment to him spoken. He pulled her to him, sealing their mouths together.

  Lorren was instantly lost, as she became wrapped up in the feel of his mouth on hers. Uttering a soft moan, she kissed him back, meeting his tongue, tasting him, and drawing him into her more deeply, hungrily.

  He slowly released her and stood back from the bed. Lorren watched as he unzipped his pants and slowly began removing them.

  “Aren’t you going into the office today?” she asked in a whisper of her own voice, watching him discard his jeans.

  “My first appointment isn’t due until one. If an emergency comes up, Sandra will call me.” He smiled down at her. “Let’s forget about everything and just concentrate on us.”

  Lorren returned his smile when Justin came back to the bed. Tossing the covers aside, he slipped in next to her, gathering her in his arms.

  “Oh, Justin. I feel so wonderful. It’s hard to describe in words just how I feel. Years ago, the Stylistics came out with a song titled, ‘You Make Me Feel Brand-New.’ That’s a perfect way to describe just how you’ve made me feel, brand-new.”

  Justin leaned over and gave her a kiss…and more.

  Hours later, Lorren’s mouth curved into a lazy, satisfied smile. “What time is it?”

  Justin pulled up his jeans and turned around. “Close to eleven.”

  “I’ve never stayed in bed this late.”

  Justin laughed in sheer joy at the expression on her face. “Maybe you never had a reason to before. I’m going to fix a light brunch. That should hold us both over until we go out tonight.”

  Lorren raised a brow. “We’re going out?”

  “I thought it’d be nice. There’s a super restaurant in Dallas I’d like to take you to. But if you’d rather, we could stay here and get into other things,” he hinted suggestively, coming to stand before the bed.

  Lorren shifted slightly in bed and moistened her swollen lips with her tongue. “Going out tonight will be fine. I’d like to take a shower now. Do you have another T-shirt I can borrow?”

  “Yeah. There should be another one in that top drawer over there. How do you feel?”

  “Sore,” she answered honestly.

  “That’s understandable. We’ll have to do something about that. Go on and take your shower. I’ll have brunch prepared by then.” He left the room.

  Lorren had been in the shower for a few minutes when the shower door opened, exposing a completely naked Justin. “Justin! What are you doing?” she squealed.

  In answer, he stepped into the shower, closing the door behind him. He cornered her nude body between his and the shower wall, pressing her against the ceramic tile, and pulling her into his arms.

  “I’m going to make love to you, here in the shower. The use of your muscles, together with the warm water, will work the soreness out of your body,” he answered, reaching behind her to retrieve the soap from its compartment.

  Lorren’s eyes widened. “Make love in here? But how?”

  “Like this.” He proceeded to do wonderful things to her body as he introduced her to the various ways of lovemaking. Ways Lorren didn’t know could be done in a shower or anywhere else.

  The restaurant Justin had chosen for dinner was an elegant establishment that spared no expense in creating an atmosphere catering to the tastes of the affluent. They were shown to a table that had a fantastic view of downtown Dallas.

  “Justin, you didn’t have to go out of your way for dinner tonight,” Lorren said after the waiter had taken their order.

  A grin tilted his lips. “I want tonight to be just as special as today was. This is just an example of the many things to come. I would, however, like to ask a favor of you.”

  Lorren lifted an arched eyebrow as a smile touched her lips. “Another camping trip already?”

  Justin laughed. “No, not another camping trip. Do you remember my mentioning I’d purchased the Taylors’ place and was completely renovating it?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  Justin took a sip of his wine. “Well, I seem to have encountered a little problem.”

  “What?”

  “The interior designer dropped by the house with catalogs of material and fabric samples before I picked you up. I’m at a loss as to what to select. So I was wondering if you’d help me out.”

  “How?”

  “I’d like you to meet with the interior designer for me and give her some suggestions.”

  Surprised by his request, she said, “But I don’t know what you may or may not like.”

  One corner of Justin’s mouth lifted in a satisfied grin. “I’ll like whatever you select.”

  Absorbing his words, she bit her lower lip. How could he ask her to help decorate a house he would one day share with Ms. Fate, his future wife? A woman she’d already begun to hate. “I don’t know, Justin. Did you think of asking one of your sisters, or maybe your mom?”

  Justin sensed her hesitation. “Why can’t you do it?”

  “Why can’t one of them?”

  “I’d like you to.”

  Lorren sighed heavily. “I don’t think that would be fair to the woman you’ll one day bring there as your wife. How would she feel, knowing her home had been decorated by a woman with whom you once had an affair?” There, she’d said it. She had to be realistic that one day their relationship would end.

  Justin started to tell her the reason he wanted her to do it was because he desired something of her in his home, something to remind him daily of her. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. “If she has a problem with it, she can redo it.”

  Lorren lowered her lashes. She couldn’t let him know how much his words had pierced her heart. Those weren’t the words she had wanted to hear. “All right. If you really feel that way about it, I’ll be more than happy to meet with the interior designer for you.”

  He smiled. “Thanks, Lorren.”

  There was little conversation between them when Justin drove her home. It seemed they were both deep in their own private thoughts. Every so often he would give her a smile, bestowing upon the car’s interior a challenging intimacy.

  The evening had made Lorren realize just how tenuous and fragile a relationship with Justin would be. At any time he could end it. How long would it last? A few more nights? A week? A month or two? Until fate intervened?

  Torn by this uncertainty, she questioned why she was clinging to him when there was no future? Why prolong the agony of a final good-bye? Because you love him, her heart answered. You can’t fight your love for him. How could anyone fight love?

  They finally reached the lake house. Justin was silent while opening the door, letting her enter. He followed, closing the door behind them. Wordlessly, they stared at each other. He then began undoing the buttons on his jacket.

  “Go on and get ready for bed, sweetheart. I’ll turn off the lights and lock up for you,” he whispered softly.

  Justin got detained when he had to return a call to one of his patients. When he finally appeared at the bedroom door, Lorren was curled up in the middle of the bed aslee
p. She was wearing a white satin sleep shirt, delicately designed with lace at the neck. She looked sensuous, but at the same time, innocent.

  Justin walked over to the bed and stood gazing down at her. He shook his head. How could any man in his right mind not appreciate her? Only a fool would put her through what she’d suffered in her marriage. No woman deserved that. Especially not her.

  A fierce surge of protectiveness, so intense it made Justin’s legs shake, swept over him. He stepped away from the bed and began removing his clothes. He ached with the need to have her in his arms, and to hold her against him all through the night. He knew she still had a lot of inner healing to do, and he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to put more laugh lines in her face, and more joy and pleasure in her voice.

  Climbing into bed beside her, he pulled her soft body to him. Sliding his arms around her waist, he buried his face in the curve of her neck.

  Moments later, he joined her in sleep.

  “Who’d ever have thought I’d actually enjoy spending time with my nose stuck in a decorating book?” Lorren asked herself.

  Sitting on a kitchen stool and leaning over the breakfast counter, she paged through the huge catalog of fabrics Justin had given her nearly two weeks ago. A catalog of carpet samples lay tossed on the floor nearby.

  She’d finally narrowed down the carpet selections to five colors she really liked. Now, if she could find colors for the draperies to complement her selections, she’d be pleased with herself.

  She would be meeting Justin in town for lunch and wanted to advise him of her choices. And later, when he arrived home, she’d show them to him. She planned to meet with the interior designer again later in the week.

  The past weeks had been absolutely wonderful. She and Justin spent most of their time together. In the afternoons, she worked on her writing, and he worked on finishing the charting of his patients. Then at night, they worked on each other. Waking up every morning in each other’s arms, as the first rays of sunshine came through the bedroom window, had quickly become the norm.