Love Amplified (Heavy Influence Book 3)

by Ann Marie Frohoff

  When my eyes lingered on her knowingly, maybe I even gave a little smirk, the adorably familiar pink glow crept to her cheeks and she abruptly turned away from me, walking to the front door saying, “I’m not doing this with you, Jake. Just keep me in the loop,” before she slammed it in my face.

  Knowing that things were potentially on the rocks between her and Nathan ignited my quest to win her back. I collected my thoughts as I stared at Sienna’s manuscript. I would stick to my plan and I sent Aly’s brother Kyle a text asking when and where her graduation was. I would show up as planned.

  Maybe I wasn’t meant to read Sienna’s book. I couldn’t concentrate, reading the same paragraph over and over again. My gut told me our drug-fueled romance was printed in there somewhere. Then Notting and my mom walked through the door, surprised to see me.

  “Well look what the cat dragged in!” Notting piped, happy to see me, carrying sacks of groceries.

  Mom sped past him with outstretched arms and I stood to hug her. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” She hugged me quickly, and inspected my face closely.

  “Yes, mom. I’m fine.” I said looking down at her. “Um, just here to catch up.” I backed away from her and sat back down on the sofa.

  She noticed the stack of papers sitting in front of me, pointing. “What’s that?”

  I looked over my shoulder to see if Notting was still standing there, he wasn’t. “Notting!” I called out. “Come in here.”

  “What’s wrong?” Mom asked, frowning.

  “Nothing that you hadn’t already heard about.”

  “That’s not reassuring.” She replied darkly, eyeing me cautiously.

  Notting joined us looking unconcerned. “London’s calling!” He said cheerily. “You ready to go?”

  Mom grabbed his arm. “Darling, Jake is here because he has something to tell us. And by the way I’m feeling, it’s not good news.”

  She always knows.

  Our eyes danced with each other’s. “You’re right, as always. Not good news, but nothing you haven’t heard.”

  She frowned and Notting’s face grew dim. “What is it?” he asked.

  “I’m not proud to admit this.” I said, shaking my head, burying my face in my hands. Mustering the courage, I looked up at them standing over me. “The rumors were true about Sienna and me.”

  My mother’s face drooped and she shook her head slowly, not saying a word. Notting rubbed at the stubble on his chin, frowning, asking, “Is there more?”

  “This here.” I pointed at the stack of papers. “This is a manuscript, a memoir Sienna wrote. Due to publish soon.”

  “When?” Notting asked.

  “What does it say?” Mom interrupted, going straight for the papers and picking up the ream. “Why would she do this? She should be ashamed of herself, glamorizing private matters.”

  Her words seared me. “I’m ashamed, if that helps.”

  “You should be.” She said under her breath, as she dropped the stack of papers back on the table with a heavy thud.

  I looked between Notting and my mother. Their story was just as scandalous. “What happened with Sienna is really no different than what happened between the two of you.”

  My mother’s mouth clamped shut, nostrils flaring. Her eyes narrowed with disdain. I didn’t dare look to Notting, regretting my words by the second. “Don’t you dare compare us to you.” She hissed. “Our circumstances were and are completely different. An entire lifetime of difference!”

  The hurt in her eyes gutted me. I tipped back into the sofa pillows, closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. I know.” I said whining like a five-year old. I looked to Notting, slamming my fists against the cushion. “I can’t take any of it back. I would if I could.”

  Notting breathed in deeply, his jaw bulging. “What’s done is done. Get to it then, reading that.” He pointed. “Let me know what it says.”

  I spent the rest of the afternoon reading, running my eyes over every single word. Mostly skimming, until I came across something, a moment so vivid it was as if it were my own memory, pulling me in. Her words reminded me of their love for each other and I cried, sobbing at times. Wracked with guilt beyond belief. When I got near the end, Chapter 15 is where my name finally, really, dropped in. Her words were complimentary and heart wrenching. Then came Chapter 16 and finally 17:

  Having my husband and soul mate with a terminal illness was a lonely, painful, frightening journey and when it was all over, truly over, nothing could have prepared me for the wretched loneliness that was to follow. My knight in shining armor was Jake. Jake Masters, my life-long friend saved me…

  …An unexpected connection formed between Jake and I…Two broken souls came together. I was starving for warmth and something familiar, and so was he. Sometimes you just have to go where life takes you…

  …The dreams of my own little family bloomed again…A new life.

  “She didn’t directly say shit about us.” I announced, feeling a rush of relief. “Did you hear me?”

  “What is it?” Mom came from the kitchen and Notting followed.

  I tucked the papers neatly together. “She didn’t outright offer the words of an affair, or whatever you want to call it. She alluded to it, heavily. There were some very intimate moments between us written. It could go either way.”

  “What do you mean?” Mother asked.

  “I mean you could either think I was the just the loving best friend or a total Judas.”

  Notting sighed heavily. “Let’s just ignore it then. People have already made their minds up about the rumors long ago. This will only revive the folly and it will extinguish once again.”

  “Sure. I still may say something about it, some way.”

  Mother sat next to me. “What else is there?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing that matters. I suppose I deserve everyone cutting me off and out of their lives.”

  “Why do you say that? Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay for a lifetime. People just go their own way, darling. I have plenty of friends and relationships that have dwindled away, or ceased to exist. It’s the way life is. Sad, but true.”

  “It’s just a strange place to be, knowing two people that were so important to you don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Sienna and Alyssa were a part of me, they were my family…”

  “Darling,” Mom gripped my forearm. “You don’t sleep with family members. Once sex and all that other stuff…” she twirled her hands around her head, “happens nothing is ever the same.”

  “Alyssa was here earlier.” I blurted out, unmoved by her little lecture.

  Mother’s eyes brightened. “How is she?”

  “Graduating from Pepperdine University tomorrow. Would you like to go with me?”

  A tight smile pressed on my mother’s lips, dulling their color. “Ah, now you’re making some sense to me with all this talk. Alyssa and you were doomed from the beginning. Your lives are too different. Just because you grew up in the same town doesn’t mean a thing, and now she’s marrying someone more suited for her, more her speed. You need to find someone like that.”

  “I’ve changed speeds, mom.”

  “I know and I’m so very proud of you. My prayers were answered.” She patted my knee.

  My mom may or may not have gotten where I was going with the whole Alyssa thing. I assumed she did and was just tired of it, but she readily agreed to go with me to the graduation ceremony. I stayed at my mom’s for dinner, discussing the upcoming London trip and UK business with Notting.

  “I’ve received the media schedule and dates.” He said tipping back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. “Have you decided on the songs you’ll perform?”

  No. “Yep, I’m all ready.” I stood from the table and grabbed my empty plate. “I may say something about the whole Sienna thing, I’m not sure how. Maybe we can supply a few questions to ask, or something like that.”

  Notting sucked his teeth. “I don’t li
ke it.”

  I rinsed my plate and placed it in the dishwasher, thinking. “I don’t either, but I feel like I have to stick it to her. Kinda like a ‘fuck you, I know what you’re gonna do’.”

  He sighed heavily. “Think about the delivery, Jake. It’s about your new record, not your life drama.”

  I chuckled, sadly. “Notting, all my songs are about my life drama.”

  I ended up sleeping in my boyhood bed, thinking about Aly sleeping right next door. I kept my light on all night, stupidly hoping she’d see it and creep over just like the old days.

  #

  “Where are we going?” Ethan’s little voice chimed from the backseat. He sat high in his booster seat, leaning to the middle in an attempt to look at my face as he sat behind me.

  “Up here.” Gabe said, tapping the rearview mirror. “I can see you.”

  “We’re going to a friend’s school graduation.” I explained.

  “Why?”

  “When you finish school, they throw a big party for you and your friends.” I offered.

  “That’s cool.” Ethan said, kicking the back of my seat. “Did you have fun at your party?”

  Ouch. I gave Gabe a quick glance and he was suppressing a smile. I didn’t want to tell Ethan that I didn’t graduate like other kids. “Um, sure. Some kids have different kinds of parties to celebrate, but most kids have the kind of party we’re going to. It’s different, though, it’s not like a birthday party. That’s after everyone gets their diploma.”

  “What’s a dip-ohma?”

  My mind swirled with how to explain to a four-year-old what the fuck a diploma was. “It’s a piece of paper, a certificate of completion stating that you finished all of your ABCs.”

  Gabe chuckled, nodding. “Well done.”

  Ethan didn’t say anything else and focused on the little gaming unit he had in his hands. Grace had called early in the morning asking if I was busy. Ethan had been asking about me and wanted to go to the beach. I didn’t want to say no to Ethan. I knew he needed some man time and I wanted to be there for Grace, too. She said she was up against a work deadline and wouldn’t be able to go until 2pm, conflicting with Aly’s graduation. I explained the situation and offered to bring Ethan on our outing. I didn’t think anything of it, really. At best, I knew I’d only see Aly from afar, knowing Nathan would probably be there, too.

  “Gabe, you gonna watch the ceremony with us?” I looked at him, hopeful. “No, sir. I’ve got a date with a good book.”

  “Alright, but it might help me out with…” I said, tossing my head backward as we pulled up to my mom’s house. “Ethan, I’m just going to get my mom. I’ll be right back. You stay put with Gabe, okay?”

  Ethan nodded with his tongue sticking out of his mouth and a crease between his little brow, totally in the gaming zone.

  Mom was ready to go and breezed out the door looking as put together as I’d ever seen her, wearing cream pants and a white sleeveless blouse. Her hair was styled in a swooping wave grazing her shoulders. “You look great, mom.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “Thank you, Jake. It’s been a while since I’ve dressed for anything special.”

  “Um, you’re gonna have to sit on the other side. I have someone joining us.” I had failed to mention Ethan.

  I walked to the other side of the car, opening the door for her and Gabe jumped out from the driver’s side door. “Let me get that, sir.”

  “Mom, this is Gabe. He’s been driving me around.”

  “Hello, Gabe.” She smiled, nodding pleasantly.

  “Nice to meet you, Ms…”

  “Kate, please.” She insisted. “Nice to meet you, Gabe.”

  “Sorry, she’s mom to me.” I offered under my breath as I rounded the front of the car.

  “Oh!” Mother’s voice pitched. “Hello.”

  A smile pressed at my lips as I tucked into the front seat. “Mom, meet Ethan.”

  “Hello, Ethan.” Humor laced her voice.

  “Ethan, this is my mom, Kate.” I hugged the back of my seat and grabbed the game from Ethan’s hands.

  “Hey!” He frowned, pouting with outstretched arms as we pulled away from the curb.

  “Dude, that’s my mom. Say hello.” I pointed firmly.

  “Hello.” He said flatly and stared at her for a moment, turning a set of glowering eyes on me. “Can I have my game back?”

  I ignored him and looked at my mom explaining. “Ethan here is my friend Grace’s son. We’ve been hanging out a bit.”

  “Really? That sounds fun.” She glanced between us and then laid a momentary questioning eye on me. “How old are you Ethan?”

  “Four.” He sighed, not looking at her. “I just started school!” He said, excitedly.

  “Ah, preschool? I remember when Jake went to preschool.”

  “I love it!” He bounced in his seat.

  Ethan’s bright eyes held my mother’s attention for most of the ride, telling her all about his school and what he wanted to be when he grew up – an astronaut, of course. Mom explained how I’d always wanted to be a musician, and I grew up to become just that.

  “Jake’s performed all over the world. He’s won awards for his music…you put your mind to it, Ethan, you can be whatever you want when you grow up.” She elaborated.

  Hearing my mom talk to a child who wasn’t me, for the first time, stirred my emotions, new respect sprouted from our trampled grounds, and made me wonder about what kind of parent I’d be.

  5

  Alyssa

  Have you ever felt alone in a room filled with people and excitement swirling everywhere around you, but didn’t feel any of it? That’s how I felt as I watched the smiling faces surrounding me. My fellow graduates glowed with pride and accomplishment. I was numb. Their gowns swayed like curtains blowing in the wind with each high-five and embrace they gave. I went through the motions with a fake smile and the inability to comprehend a word that was said.

  I was completely ready to say goodbye to my current life, ready to start anew by exploring Miami and meeting new people. The thought of running into Sienna crossed my mind more than I wanted it to. I’d get over it, even if I did, like everything else. My thoughts went to Nadine and our planned trip to the Florida Keys. Nadine had taken it upon herself to plan a more exciting adventure for us. I was finally asked to line up. We filed in order by our last name just as we rehearsed, and before I realized it, I was sitting in my seat, melting in my cap and gown as the hot afternoon sun broiled every inch of me. Hearing my name announced didn’t spur me at all and Vera Newcomb had to shove my shoulder, getting me to move. I floated over the stage, shaking the hands of the Dean and other school officials, and turned to wave to the crowd, holding my diploma over my head. The crowd roared louder than I ever expected, snapping me out of my haze. I looked out over the sea of students sitting in their seats and to the people in the stands and my knees went weak. Energy from the crowd overpowered me. It was electrifying and I instantly thought of Jake – this must be what it’s like to be him on stage. I heard my name being shouted from all different directions as I stepped down the stairs on the other side of the platform.

  My heart raced and I felt the surge. I knew Jake was there.

  As I returned to my seat, my eyes searched the stands for familiar faces. I knew where my family sat and spotted them right away. Nadine waved wildly, shouting my name, but I couldn’t locate Jake. I just knew he was there. I could feel it. Knowing him, he was wearing a disguise and I wondered if he’d make his way down to the field after it was all over.

  Loud thunderous applause erupted and square caps went flying. I snatched mine from the top of my head, tossing it high into the air, feeling excitement course through my limbs. Vera grabbed my shoulders and hugged me tightly shouting in my ear, “Congratulations, Alyssa!” I returned her regard and whirled into more arms of my fellow graduates and teammates with ecstatic and emotional faces. Finally, I spun into the arms of my brother, Kyle, and Nadine was bounci
ng on her toes right behind him.

  “You did it, little sister!” He beamed down at me, wearing a mile-wide smile.

  “Oh my God! You’re a fucking college graduate!” Nadine shouted, handing me a delicate bushel of pink orchids, each with their own little tube of water attached at the stem. “I know these are your favorites.”

  Tears welled in my eyes, spilling out. I brushed them away from my cheeks as my parents approached with another bouquet of flowers.

  “Congratulations, baby!” My mom said, rushing to me as Kyle stepped away. “Your sister is very sorry she couldn’t make it.”

  “It’s okay. I talked to her.” I informed. My sister, Allison, was out of the country traveling on business.

  My father embraced me, saying how proud he was. He looked at me seriously. “I know things could have been very different for you. I’m proud that you didn’t give up on your dreams.”

  I gave him a lopsided grin. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Someone came to see you.” He said and my heart leapt. I knew it. “Jake’s here with Kate.”

  I looked around casually, but my legs trembled beneath my gown.

  My dad threw a finger over his shoulder. “He’s on the field, at the west end of the stands. He didn’t make it very far.”

  “Alyssa,” my mom called to me as I stepped away. “We have a reservation at Duke’s, you’ll need to be on your way soon. Will someone be joining us?”

  “I doubt it, Mom.” I said, with an edge in my voice. “We’ll meet you there. I’m just gonna say hello and we’ll leave.” I nodded nervously and looked to Kyle, realizing his wife wasn’t with him.

  “Where’s Remy?”

  “Too pregnant. She sends her love.” Kyle offered.

  I looked between Nadine and Kyle. “Please walk with me to find Jake? Dad told me he was here. I should thank him for coming.”