Forever Love: A Friends to Lovers Collections

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

She’d seen him. That was more than I could say, but looking like a ghost? “I don’t understand… Kyle has to realize…”

  “He’s hurting. This is what he does when he hurts.”

  I knew Kyle so little compared to his mom so there was no reason to argue. I wished there was something I could do for this woman. Losing a child… I’d nearly broken in half with the miscarriage. This was so much worse.

  “But I can tell he’s beating himself up about this, it’s not just grief. But I don’t understand why. He won’t tell me anything.”

  “He’ll come around when the shock wears off.” I recycled the words Savy had used on me. They didn’t feel any better coming from my mouth.

  She turned to look at me. “Do you know about his depression, Jade? Has he ever told you?”

  “Depression?” Kyle had never mentioned it.

  She seemed pensive, like she was struggling for words. “He’s been on and off medication for years. You never know what’s going to set him off.”

  “He never told me.” What else had he never told me? I’d shared my deepest secret with him, yet he didn’t trust me with his.

  “He’s embarrassed.”

  “He shouldn’t be.” How could he believe I would think less of him for suffering from depression? I had enough of my own issues.

  “No, but that’s not why I’m here. I came by to see you because I need your help.” She took my hands in her.

  “You know I’ll do anything I can, but Kyle doesn’t want to see me.”

  “You have a better chance of getting through to him than me.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “You’re his mom. I’m not that important to him.”

  “You were important enough to bring to meet us. That’s big for Kyle. You need to get through to him. Get him to come out. He’ll regret it forever if he doesn’t go to the funeral.”

  It was time to come clean. I was done lying. “Grace, I know this probably isn’t the time, but you need to understand.”

  She held up a hand as if to stop me. “That you weren’t really dating.”

  My jaw dropped. “Did Kyle tell you?”

  “I knew from the beginning. A mother knows her sons.” Tears fell from her eyes as she said the words.

  “But you went along with it?”

  “I saw how happy you made Kyle. I wasn’t going to ruin that. I figured the two of you would figure things out eventually.”

  “We did.”

  “And I’m glad for that.” She squeezed my hands so tightly it almost hurt. “But right now I need you to help. I lost one of my sons. I can’t lose the other.”

  “I’ll try anything I can.” I fought back tears that threatened to spill. It wasn’t right to cry in front of Grace with all that she was going through. “But that doesn’t mean he’ll see me.” He’d made his feelings about that crystal clear.

  “When did you fall in love with him?” She locked eyes with mine.

  “I…” There was no point denying what I already knew, especially when she was going through so much heartbreak. “I knew what I felt was real at the lake, but I tried to deny it to myself. I really knew for sure last night when I slept outside his door. I thought I’d break in two if he didn’t let me in. I knew he was hurting yet I was powerless to help him.”

  Her eyes filled with tears again. “Maybe all you need to do is tell him that. Tell him exactly how you feel. It’s amazing how powerful a few words can be.”

  “I’ll get him to the funeral. I promise.” I wasn’t sure why I promised something I had no control over, but I didn’t see another option. Grace was right, Kyle would always regret missing it, and she needed him there. The whole family did.

  I was willing to admit the depth of my feelings to him and make myself vulnerable to help him. I was willing to do anything, but he needed to give me the chance.

  Kyle

  I was letting everyone down. Everyone. Dylan was gone, and I’d hurt Jade. To make matters worse, I’d probably broken my mother’s heart even more than it was already, but I couldn’t handle any of it. I’d made the mistake of opening my door to face her, and it had nearly destroyed me. She was broken, destroyed by the loss of her golden son.

  Of everyone in my family, I had the best relationship with my mom, but even she knew how weak I was. It’s why she never pushed me about the family business like Dad did. Dad pretended to think I was stronger than I was.

  I waited until I heard the front door close before packing my bags. I had to get away from campus and town. I couldn’t hide out in my room forever, and I was going to go completely crazy if I did.

  I packed a small duffel bag and opened the door slowly. I heard Glen and Savy’s low voices coming from his room, so I made a run for it. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with either of them.

  “Kyle?” Glen called as I closed the door behind me. I hurried down to my car, hoping he wouldn’t follow.

  Of course he did. “Kyle, wait!”

  I reluctantly turned toward him. “Hi, I’m heading out of town for a while.”

  “I heard about your brother.”

  “Yeah, well.” I didn’t know what to say.

  “I’m really sorry, man.”

  I opened the car door. “Thanks.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Away.”

  “Are you going to call Jade?”

  “No. I already told her to leave me alone. She’s a smart girl, she’ll take the hint.” I hated talking about her that way, but it would be easier if they weren’t fighting to keep us together. She needed all of her friends on her side. She’d been hurt before and made it through. She was a heck of a lot stronger than me. She’d be fine.

  “That’s cold.”

  “Yeah well, considering it took her weeks to decide I was worth more than sex it’s all right.” It wasn’t all right, and I knew it in the deepest part of my heart, but that didn’t change anything. It would be easier for everyone if I left for a while.

  “You know as well as I know that isn’t true. She was just scared.”

  “And I don’t have time to deal with any of that right now.” I got in my car and closed the door.

  Even through the closed window I heard him speak. “Don’t do this. Don’t run away from your problems.” Glen’s hand curled into a fist at his side.

  I turned on the car, hoping that gave him the hint that he needed to step back. He did.

  There was only one place I could go, and it would be a long drive to get there. A long drive was exactly what I needed. I needed time to process and forget.

  Jade

  I called Kyle a few times. It was my chicken attempt at doing what I’d promised Grace. I didn’t have the nerve to go back to his apartment yet. I had no clue how I was going to convince him to speak to his mom again and go to the funeral, but I would even if it meant talking through a closed door.

  I couldn’t help but wonder why he’d never told me about the depression. I refused to get upset. He must have had his reasons. I didn’t believe he was embarrassed though. How could he ever be embarrassed with me? I’d never judged him for anything. But maybe it had nothing to do with reality. Like my fear of him leaving me if I gave a relationship a chance. Fear can change you and mess you up so much that you barely resemble the person you once were.

  My phone rang again, and this time I didn’t even consider that it could be Kyle. I knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

  I glanced at the screen. It was Savy. “Hi.”

  “Jade…he left.”

  “What?” I jumped to my feet. I’d been sitting on the couch for hours. “What do you mean he left?”

  “He took off and literally left Glen in the dust.” Savy’s voice fell.

  “Did he say where he was going?” I chewed on my nails again. What was going on? Where would Kyle go without telling anyone?

  “No. He just said he was getting out of town.”

  “Oh.” I stuffed my hand into my pocket. If I bit my nail
s anymore they’d be down to my cuticles.

  “I’m sorry, Jade. Glen tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. And I’m sorry he’s taking this out on you.”

  “What do you mean he’s taking it out on me?” What was she getting at?

  “Well, he also said some not so nice stuff to Glen, but I don’t want to upset you.”

  “You’re already upsetting me.” I hated when people brought something up like that but didn’t follow through.

  “He made some comments about you getting the hint when he left.”

  “Great.” I was mad. I knew he was going through an absolutely horrible experience, but did he have to close me out that way? The anger begged to become hurt, but I wouldn’t let it. “He really didn’t give any hint of where he was going?”

  “No. Just that he wanted to get out of town.”

  I thought back to the night at the beach. “Do you think Glen would let me borrow his car?”

  “Probably, but why? Do you know where he is?”

  “I think so. I’m going to put some mileage on it. Is that okay?”

  “Here, talk to him.”

  “Jade?” Glen’s voice filled my ear. “What’s up?”

  “Can I borrow your car? I need to try to find him.”

  “Yes…” Glen answered slowly. “But try not to total it.”

  “Very funny.” I wasn’t in the mood for a joke.

  “When do you need it?”

  “As soon as possible.” I didn’t want to be pushy, but I couldn’t wait. I had to find Kyle.

  “All right. I’ll go fill up my car and bring it over to the Delta Mu house.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yeah I do. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  I replaced my phone in my pocket and ran upstairs. Savy was lucky. She had a great boyfriend.

  I packed a bag and called Dana on my way downstairs. I couldn’t bare talk to Grace again until I’d done what I promised.

  Dana picked up right away. “Hi. Any news?”

  “Where is your grandfather’s hunting cabin?” I’m not sure how I knew for sure, but I did. He was upset which meant he’d be searching for a place he felt safe and happy. That was the cabin for him.

  “In Virginia. Why?”

  “I think Kyle went there.”

  “He left town?”

  “Yes. His roommate told me. I’ve got a car, and I want to find him.” I wasn’t going to waste time beating around the bush.

  “I’ll text you the address, but are you sure you want to do that drive? What if it turns out he’s not there?”

  “I have to at least try.” I owed it to Kyle and to Grace. I also owed it to myself. I couldn’t give up on him.

  “Kyle’s lucky to have you.”

  “People need to stop saying that.”

  “Why? It’s true.”

  “He doesn’t think so.”

  “What?” She seemed genuinely taken aback.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Dana had enough on her plate.

  “You two are the real deal. Don’t sweat it.”

  “If you say so.” I hoped she was right, but it wasn’t the time to worry about it. “I’ll let you know if I find him.”

  “Be safe.”

  “I will be.” I walked outside to wait for Glen to arrive with his car.

  Five minutes later Glen’s Outback pulled to a stop in front of me. Savy was in the passenger seat. Glen got out and walked around to take my bag from me. Savy darted into the house. I watched her retreating figure before turning back to Glen. “Thanks so much for letting me borrow the car.”

  “There’s been a change in plans.”

  “Oh?” He wasn’t backing out. He couldn’t be.

  “Really it’s been the plan all along, but I wanted to avoid the arguing until the last minute.”

  “What do you mean? You are letting me use the car, right?” I tried to keep my voice steady. I needed the car. I needed to find Kyle.

  “We’re coming with you. Savy went inside to pack an overnight bag in case we don’t come back tonight. You made it sound like a long drive.”

  “Wait, what? You guys don’t have to do that.”

  “We’re not letting you go alone. Besides, this way I don’t have to worry about you totaling my car.” He smiled, but I could tell he was forcing the joke.

  “Are you sure?” I couldn’t deny some relief at the thought of the company. Doing a long drive by myself didn’t sound appealing.

  “Completely sure.” He rested a hand on the hood of the car. “You’re not in this alone.”

  Savy reappeared a moment later with a backpack. “Sorry that took so long.”

  “You were gone two minutes.” I smiled for the first time in days.

  “Ok, good. I tried to rush.” She pulled me into a bear hug. “Ready for this?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” I opened the door to the passenger side backseat and got in.

  Glen leaned in before I could close the door. “I tried to clean it out back there.”

  “It’s fine.” Getting in the car meant I was one step closer to finding Kyle. If my guess was correct. It had to be. I wasn’t willing to accept another answer.

  “You’re easy.” He closed the door and got in. “Did you print out a map or are we GPSing this?”

  “I’ve got it set in my phone.” I thought ahead. I didn’t want to waste any time.

  “Either way I bet we have to get on I-26.” Glen pulled away from the curb.

  I took another look at the house as we drove off. I closed my eyes. I hoped that when I came back the next time I’d have Kyle by my side. It had been a long time since I’d wanted something more.

  * * *

  Six hours and one stop later Glen turned down a long dirt road. “Are you sure this is it?” Rain poured down on the car as he slowly eased us forward.

  “It’s the only turn we’ve seen. I guess we can keep driving a little, and we can always turn around.” I didn’t want to lead us into the middle of nowhere, but I refused to give up when we were so close.

  “Maybe try the cousin.” Glen suggested. “Just make sure this sounds right.”

  “All right.” I tried Dana but the call didn’t go through. I looked at my phone. No service. “Yeah, we’re in the boonies.”

  “I’m going to pretend this isn’t freaky. I mean, middle of nowhere, no cell service, and a major thunderstorm.” Savy glanced at me warily.

  “It’s not a major thunderstorm.”

  As if in answer a large crack of thunder filled the air. It was loud enough to drown out the sound of the car pushing through the increasingly muddy terrain.

  “What’s that up there?” I peered out into the dark night. If I wasn’t mistaken there was a light.

  “This is the start of so many horror movies.” Savy wrapped her arms around her.

  “We’re fine.” Glen put a hand on her leg. “We’ll check this out.” He drove around toward the light.

  “Look, it says Bradley on the mailbox!” A wave of excitement gave me a new dose of energy. “See, we’re not in a horror movie.”

  “Do you want us to go in with you?” Glen put the car in park as close to the cabin as he could get.

  “No. I need to do this alone.” I could see several lights on in the cabin, so at least I knew he was really there. That both filled me with relief and terrified me.

  “We’re not leaving until we see you’re inside.”

  I nodded. “And there’s a good chance he’s not opening that door.”

  “He can’t leave you standing in the rain.” Savy seemed way more confident about the situation than I did.

  “I’m going to hope you’re right.” I opened the car door and dashed to the door of the large cabin. Even with my speed, I still managed to get soaked. I glanced back at the car before mustering the confidence to knock.

  Kyle

  I heard the knocking and tore myself away from the old photographs on the w
all. I’d come to the cabin to be alone, who’d followed me here? If it was my mom again, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

  I glanced out the window and saw her. Jade? She’d driven all the way up to find me? I stared at her for a moment. Her dark hair was soaked, and she had one arm wrapped around her chest as she anxiously watched the door.

  She began shivering, and I snapped. I couldn’t leave her standing out there in the rain. I opened the door and took in her sopping wet form. “Jade.” Her name came out in barely a whisper.

  “Kyle.” She stood there staring at me.

  “What are you doing here?” I tried to keep my voice level, but I was hit by such all-encompassing emotion that I could barely see straight.

  “I’m here because I need to be. I need to be with you.” Her eyes remained fixed on mine.

  Her words almost broke me. I fought the urge to reach out to touch her. One touch and I’d never be able to let go. Instead I broke the intense gaze between us and gestured for her to get out of the rain. “Come in.”

  “If you’re sure.” Her eyes searched mine, probably looking for evidence that I was really inviting her in.

  “I am.” I took her hand and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her.

  “You’re here.” My body trembled with the effort to keep away from her. Did I think I could really stay away? That I could hold any anger or resentment toward the girl who lit up my life? “How’d you know I’d be here?”

  “I didn’t know for sure. I got the address from Dana and took a chance.” She dropped her now sopping wet bag on the floor. “I’m worried about you. Everyone is. I know you are hurt, but that isn’t a reason to run away from everyone. You need to let someone in.”

  “This isn’t about being hurt.”

  “Then what is it?” She wrapped her arms around her chest. She shivered again.

  “You need to get changed.” I headed toward the bedroom where I left my bag. I pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts, and then I grabbed a fresh towel from the bathroom. I held all three out to her.

  She shook her head. “It can wait. First, I need to make sure you’re all right.”