Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1)

by Stephens, Amy

  Brian takes my hand in his and escorts me to the back of the room while another couple steps forward to take our place. I can’t help but notice the happiness Brian wears across his face. Just moments ago, I was so excited about the idea of being married, and now that it’s official, I can’t believe I actually went through with it.

  Brian and I make our way out to the car, and I place all the important paperwork in my purse. I want to be so happy to be with my new husband. I just hope I have made the right decision.

  I place my hand in Brian’s lap as he pulls from the parking lot heading back to our apartment.

  “So, how does it feel, Mr. Collins, to officially be my husband?” I’m hoping that hearing the words spoken out loud will take away the little bit of uncertainty I’m feeling at the moment.

  “It’s one of the best feelings in the world, Mrs. Collins.” And I do feel the happiness from Brian; it’s the assurance I need to make me feel better.

  “There’s just one thing.”

  “What?” He looks concerned all of a sudden.

  “I hate that we aren’t going to be able to take a honeymoon right now. And, I can’t even spend my wedding night with my husband.” I’m sad knowing I’ve got to be at work in a few short hours. Had this been better planned and not so sudden, I could have taken the night or even the weekend off, but once I get through tonight, I’ll have the next two nights off to spend with my husband. Brian, on the other hand, has to work tomorrow too.

  My classes this term all start in the morning and are over by noon, four days a week. If Brian continues to work day shifts, we will be able to spend a few hours together each evening before I have to go in to work. It’s going to make it really hard on me to get enough rest, but once I get my body used to the routine, it might not be so bad.

  We get back to the apartment, and Brian stops before opening the front door. He turns towards me and lifts me up over his shoulder before walking inside. I know this isn’t the traditional way to carry your new bride into your home, but I don’t think my doorway would enable us to make any other way happen. I laugh at his gesture and wrap my arms tightly around him.

  “Ohhhhh, I don’t want to go to work tonight.” I’m not whining about it, I just wish we could spend our first night as husband and wife together.

  “I know baby. On the bright side, we’ve got tomorrow night together, and the next night, and the next. We’ve got forever.”

  “Why don’t I make us a quick dinner? As much as I want to spend time with you tonight, I really have to get some sleep before going in, or I’m never going to make it through the night.”

  Brian heads to the bedroom while I glance through the cabinets hoping to find something quick and easy to fix. I decide to make a pot of homemade spaghetti.

  Brian returns to the kitchen and sneaks up behind me while I stand at the stove getting everything started. He wraps his arms around my belly, and I stop what I’m doing long enough to enjoy the security I feel being with him.

  Supper is ready in no time, and Brian tells me he’s going to get the kitchen cleaned up and everything put away so I can have more time to sleep. He insists I need my rest, and I don’t argue. I hate leaving the kitchen this way, but I’ll use this as a test to see if he is a man of his word.

  I head back to the bedroom for a couple hours of rest.

  My alarm beeps at nine o’clock, allowing me just enough time to get ready for work. I struggle to wake up. I simply did not get enough rest tonight, and it’s only going to make for an even longer night.

  I walk to the bathroom and splash my face with cold water, hoping it will revive me. I brush my hair and pull it up in my usual ponytail. I apply lip gloss and a little mascara to my tired eyes. I change into my red polo shirt and glance at myself in the mirror. I wonder what I’m going to look like once my belly starts to swell. I turn to the side pulling the shirt tight against me. I think about how this is going to impact my parents once they find out, and I have to push the thought out of my mind for now. I need time to figure out the way I should approach the subject with them.

  I walk to the living room and Brian is sitting on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table, watching a basketball game.

  “Hey baby.” I try to smile, but right now, I would trade anything for just a few more hours of sleep.

  “You look tired. Are you sure you can’t call in tonight?” I can’t believe he’s really asking me this. He knows how I feel about calling out. “You could stay here with your husband and keep him company.” He teases.

  “I wish I could stay home with you. Once I get there, maybe it won’t be so bad.” But I know if it’s a slow night, it’s going to seem like forever, so who am I kidding?

  I walk to the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the refrigerator, and I stare at the dinner dishes still littering the kitchen. Brian promised he would clean everything up for me.

  He notices the expression on my face and instantly says, “I’m going to get to it, dear. I just got caught up in the game. I promise it will be spotless when you get home in the morning.”

  I don’t want to say anything to make him mad, so I don’t bring it up again. I put on my jacket and grab my purse. Brian stands up and meets me by the door. “I’m sure going to miss you tonight, Mrs. Collins.”

  I lay my head against his shoulder for a moment, savoring the feel of his arms wrapped around me. It doesn’t get any better than this.

  I pull back after a few moments and look into his eyes. “I love you, Brian.”

  “I love you too.” He grabs ahold of my hand where my ring would be had it not needed sizing and lifts it to his lips. His kiss is so gentle and tender.

  “You’re making it hard to leave, baby.” I tell him. “But if I don’t get going, I’m definitely going to be late.” I pull away and stand in the doorway. He winks at me as I turn to walk to the car. I tell myself not to worry about the kitchen. On the other hand, I need to be worried about how I’m going to break my news to Rebecca. I’ve got ten minutes to figure out a plan.

  I walk into the hotel office and Rebecca stands up from the chair. “You look like you’ve hardly slept. You feeling okay?”

  “Gee, thanks for letting me know I look like shit.” I tell her in a way that shows I’m joking. While it hurts my feelings, I know it’s true. I am going to have to get on a better sleeping routine. At least I know tomorrow I will have the entire day to sleep while Brian is at work. Thank goodness for that.

  “Did you not get any rest today?” I know she’s being a concerned best friend, especially since I just recently shared the news of my pregnancy with her.

  “I got a couple hours this evening. Not near enough though.” I try to remain hopeful. I decide that now is really not a good time to share with her about my marriage. “I just had a busy day with lots of things I needed to get done.”

  “Look on the bright side. Once you get off in the morning, you have three days and two nights away from this place.” She tries to offer some encouragement.

  “Don’t worry. I’m already counting down the hours.”

  Rebecca stands up to leave and gives me a hug. She pats her hand to my belly and says, “Take care of my little niece or nephew.” This is the first time any reference has been made about my having a boy or girl.

  “Aww Thanks. You know I will.”

  “Hey, you got plans for Sunday? Maybe you and I can spend some quality girl time together.” I think back over the last few months that Brian and I have been together. Rebecca and I used to spend every weekend together, whether it was going out to the movies or dancing, or just getting manicures and hanging out at the apartment. New Year’s Eve was the last night we spent together. So much happened that night, and I’ve tried to push it as far from my mind as possible. But the truth is, I have missed our fun times together, too.

  “Let me check with Brian. With his new job, he’s been working a lot of hours, too.” I can see by the expression on her face she’s not happy with m
y saying this. I’m glad I held off from telling her about getting married now. I know she is not a fan of Brian, given everything that’s happened, but I’m willing to give them both time to fix the situation between them, for my sake.

  “Sure, fine. Just let me know.” Without giving me time to respond, she walks towards the door.

  “Rebecca, wait. That’s not fair and you know it.” I plead with her.

  “What’s not fair Jennifer? You work things out with your boyfriend that you still barely know anything about, and you spend every waking moment with him. All I asked for was a couple hours with my best friend, and you can’t even make that decision on your own, without consulting with him first.”

  Why can’t she just accept Brian? Why does she always have to question him and his past? I don’t like being put in these situations where I am forced to choose between the people I love most, especially now that Brian is my husband.

  I mostly work days now, going in at nine every morning and getting off in time to spend a few hours with Jennifer before she goes into work at night. Even though I have told her that she doesn’t have to fix us a meal every night, she still tries to prepare something for us. She says it’s the proper thing for a wife to do.

  It has been a month since we exchanged our vows, and I have to admit, it’s been nice coming home to my wife and spending as much time with her as possible. Friday finally arrives, and I decide to do something special for Jennifer tonight to celebrate our one month anniversary. I tell her not to make any plans for the evening and to make sure she gets enough sleep during the day.

  I get off work a little earlier than usual and stop by the hotel to take care of one of my payments with Rebecca. I seriously think she believed I wouldn’t come through on my agreement with her. I have proven her wrong, and I actually take pride in myself that I’m able do this without the help of anyone, especially Jennifer.

  I walk to the counter, where she is currently not waiting on anyone. “Hi Rebecca, I just wanted to drop off another payment for the bracelet.” I hand over a couple of bills folded up and she extends her hand to take them from me.

  “Thank you Brian. I must say, I never thought I would actually receive anything from you. You’ve definitely proven me wrong.” I notice the hint of sarcasm in her voice, but choose to ignore it. Even though she and I never talked about our situation on New Year’s Eve, I know she still holds me responsible, even though she was the one who made a move on me first.

  “Maybe one day you will have a better opinion of me Rebecca. I’m sorry you can’t forget the past.”

  “Look, I love Jennifer and her well-being is my utmost concern, whether you are in her life or not. I’m not thrilled with some of her decisions that involve you, but I will respect my best friend always.”

  I didn’t come here to argue with her or to defend myself. “I should be able to make the final payment to you in a few weeks. Then, you won’t have to worry about me.” I start to walk to the door, ready for this conversation to end.

  But Rebecca doesn’t feel the same way. Before I am able to make it out the door, she calls out to me. “Brian, why have you never taken Jennifer to meet your parents, or introduced her to your friends back home? Is there something you don’t want her to know?”

  I stop immediately and turn to face her. “Why the hell should it matter to you if Jennifer ever meets my parents? Just because I left my past behind, doesn’t mean I want to drag her down that path of shame. Some things are just better left alone.” I’m trying to keep my voice calm. What business is it of hers to say this to me?

  She just doesn’t know when to stop. “Seems to me you would want your family to meet her. She is a good girl, you know.”

  “You don’t get it do you? I have never taken Jennifer for granted. You think you know me, but you are wrong, Rebecca.” I tell myself to walk out the door, just leave things alone before they turn ugly, but I’m forced to take a stand and defend myself to the end. How dare this bitch put her nose in my business.

  “I don’t know what she sees in you, but now you’ve trapped her. Her life will never be the same again, thanks to you getting her pregnant.”

  I have taken this shit long enough. I walk up to her and stare her directly in the eye. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you should spend more time worrying about yourself instead of me and my wife.”

  She becomes deathly silent. If looks could kill, I would certainly be dead right now.

  “What did you just say?”

  “I said, you need to concern yourself with something other than me and my wife.” As soon as I say the last word, I realize Jennifer has yet to share our news with her. I know Jennifer has been hesitant, and was waiting for the right opportunity to tell her family, but I had no idea she kept the news from Rebecca, too. After all, it’s been a month now. Part of me wants to smile and rub it in Rebecca’s face that her best friend didn’t feel it necessary to share this major life event with her, but I remain the better person. On the other hand, I wonder why Jennifer has kept this from her employer also. If she had updated her personal information at work, surely Rebecca would have discovered it on her own.

  The shock is written all over her face.

  I realize there is nothing more for me to say, so I turn to walk away once more. Rebecca reaches up and grabs ahold of my shirt collar. I attempt to pull away just as another employee walks in the room. She jerks her hand back immediately, and I reach to straighten my wrinkled shirt collar.

  “Is everything okay in here, Rebecca?” The co-worker asks.

  Rebecca holds back her anger and attempts to pull herself together. “We’re fine, Gail. This is Jennifer’s…husband.” She hesitates as she says the last word. “Brian was just leaving.”

  This time, I’m able to safely walk out the door, without being stopped by any more derogatory comments.

  I sit in the front seat of my car staring at nothing in particular. I’m furious with Rebecca about the way she treats me. If she and Jennifer were not best friends, I would have told that bitch off. I’ve had my fair dealings with girls like her, and I don’t want to put myself in a situation I’ll regret later. Funny thing is, Rebecca was not this way when we first met. I’m not sure what has happened for her to resent me this much now unless she still wants to blame me for that night. Looking back, I regret not pulling away when she first made a pass at me in the cab, but she was the instigator, not me. The only one she should be pointing fingers at, is herself.

  I arrive back at the apartment later than I had planned. Thanks to Rebecca and her bullshit, I’m in a bad mood now, as well. I don’t want Jennifer to notice anything, so I try to compose myself before going inside.

  I step into the doorway and see Jennifer is wearing a new outfit. While I don’t think she has started to show much of her pregnancy, she’s convinced none of her old clothes fit anymore. The oversized top and stretchy leggings look cute on her.

  “Look at you, babe.” I give her a small kiss on the cheek and lift her arms out to her side. She turns around for me to take in her outfit. “Don’t you look nice.”

  “So, you like it?” She asks.

  I reach out to touch her belly that I still think is just as flat as it was prior to the pregnancy, and she places her hand on top of mine. We stand in silence for a moment, enjoying the feeling shared between us.

  “Are you up for a nice dinner tonight?” I ask. I was starving earlier, but after the episode with Rebecca, I lost my appetite. Maybe once we get to the restaurant, the smell of food will change my mind.

  “Sure, what did you have in mind?”

  “How about we go back to that really good seafood place you took me to when we first started dating? It’s a perfect place for our one month anniversary celebration.” Her face lights up at the mention of seafood.

  “Ooooh, that sounds delicious.” Jennifer’s eating habits have definitely increased lately, but she has a reason to eat more.

  “Let me change shirts and
I’ll be ready to go.” I walk to the bedroom and toss my shirt into the hamper. I still can’t believe Rebecca had the nerve to grab me by the collar, like a child.

  I take Jennifer’s jacket from the back of the kitchen chair and toss it over her shoulders. I shut the door behind us and walk to her car. Once again, I really hate always needing to take her car. An idea crosses my mind, and I can’t wait to bring it up to her on our ride to the restaurant.

  Pulling out into traffic, I notice it’s somewhat heavier than usual. Once we get on the highway, en route to the restaurant, I reach over and grab ahold of Jennifer’s hand. I take in a deep breath and decide to make my suggestion to her.

  “Babe, I’ve been thinking.” I hesitate for a moment to gauge her mood. “Since things are going pretty well for me at the shoe store, I was wondering what you thought about me getting a newer car. I know I can’t afford much, but I have saved a little bit these last few weeks with all of my overtime. Sales have picked up, and Melissa says I should still be able to have the few extra hours each week.”

  She’s quiet for a second then turns to look over at me. “I have to say, I am not that car’s biggest fan.” She snickers a little, as though there is more to the story than I know.

  “Maybe Sunday we can start looking around.”

  “Sure, it’s not going to hurt to see what’s out there. Who knows, we might just happen to run across a good deal.” She grips my hand and we make the remainder of the drive in silence.

  We arrive at the restaurant and manage to secure a table for two in the back corner. There are lines of patrons waiting for tables, but they are all in parties of four or more. And, just as I had hoped, the smell of fried food makes my mouth water. We glance at the menu and order an appetizer of crab claws to begin with.