Intended for Bristol

by L. P. Dover

  “Smells great, love.” It felt like I’d been sucker-punched in the gut. She looked so happy dancing around her kitchen and here I was about to fuck everything up. I sat down at the bar and watched her, my appetite gone. “What all did you do today?” I asked her.

  The water on the stove started to boil, so she placed the pasta in the pot and turned to me. “Met with some new clients. What about you?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing much.”

  “Nothing much? You need to be out getting your designs noticed. Do you need a manager? I can always help you. Not unless your family fortune can keep you sustained for the rest of your life.” She laughed.

  “Actually, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” I hadn’t grown up with money, but my family wasn’t poor, either. My parents made sure that my brother and I were happy. My dad could be a hard-ass, but if it weren’t for him I never would have been as disciplined as I was when it came to football. His dream was for me to be a quarterback, but it wasn’t for me.

  Bristol leaned against the counter, pinning me with her concerned gaze. “Is everything okay? You look like something’s wrong.” The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t look at her when I said them. Averting my gaze, I focused on the marble swirls of her countertop. “Jack, talk to me. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

  She had no fucking clue. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and faced her, but before I could get a word out, my phone rang. Fuck. I wasn’t going to answer it, but when I pulled it out of my pocket and saw my brother’s name, I just stared at it. The only time he ever called was to give me bad news. That was the last thing I needed.

  “Who is it?” Bristol asked, rushing to my side. “Your face just turned pale.”

  I swallowed hard. “It’s my brother.”

  She rubbed a hand down my arm and it only made things worse. It was probably the last touch of hers I’d ever have. We both knew the phone call was going to be about my mother.

  I answered the phone. “Brent, what’s up?”

  “Hey, you got a sec?”

  “Yeah, what’s going on?”

  He sighed, and I dreaded what would come out of his mouth next. My biggest fear was that my mother had died and I hadn’t gotten to say goodbye. “Mom’s not doing good, Jax. Her kidneys are shutting down and she’s getting weaker. It’s like it all happened overnight.”

  “Fuck,” I growled, slamming a fist against the counter. I expected Bristol to jump back, but she only held on to my arm tighter. “What are we going to do?”

  “There’s nothing we can do,” he answered sadly. “Just get here as soon as you can.”

  We hung up and I could feel the burn behind my eyes. I never fucking cried, but the thought of losing my mother ripped me apart. “Jack?” Bristol murmured. Her hand brushed my cheek and she turned me to her. When I looked into her eyes, she could see my pain. “It’s your mother, isn’t it?”

  I nodded, hoping like hell I could keep it together. “It’s like everything changed in just a matter of days. She’s near the end. I didn’t think it’d happen so fast.”

  “Then why don’t you go to her? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Go now so you can see her.”

  There was so much I had to tell her, but I knew I had to go. “I’m sorry, Bristol. I know you went through a lot of trouble to fix this dinner.”

  She waved me off. “I’ll have plenty of leftovers for the weekend. Your mother is more important right now.”

  I got up and pulled her into my arms. “Promise me you’ll be here when I get back.”

  “I promise,” she whispered.

  I kissed her hard and leaned my forehead against hers. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  With those final words, I bolted out of her condo to the elevators. I had to get to Florida.

  —

  After grabbing my bag from home and changing my flight, I was up in the air in just two short hours. Everything moved so fast I didn’t have the chance to tell Brent I was on my way. The man who sat beside me probably thought I was a dick for ignoring him, but I wasn’t up for conversation. I just wanted to be in Tampa. As soon as we landed, I rented a car and rushed to my mother’s house. It was late, but there were lights on inside and Brent’s car was still in the driveway.

  I knocked on the door and waited. When Brent opened the door, his eyes were red, his face tear streaked. “I’m not too late, am I?” I asked desperately.

  He shook his head and stepped out of the way so I could enter. “I’m just exhausted. It’s not easy watching her die.”

  I tossed my bag on the floor. “Where is she?”

  “In her room,” he said, nodding toward the hall. “I’m going to stay with her until she goes.”

  “What about your work? They don’t mind you being gone?” Brent was a financial specialist at Wells Fargo. Not exactly what my father wanted him to be, but his passion was for numbers. He was never into sports like I was.

  Brent sighed. “They know what’s going on. I’ll be okay. Hospice was called in today and they gave her some morphine to keep her comfortable.”

  I nodded and then hurried down the hall. Her door was cracked open and I could see the flashes of light coming from the television. I snuck in and sat down in the chair beside my mother’s bed. Her graying dark hair had gotten thinner since the last time I’d seen her and she looked much older than sixty-five. Cancer had taken its toll on her.

  Her chest rose and fell with her breaths and I breathed a sigh of relief. She used to always say that when I was a baby, she’d check on me several times in the night to make sure I was breathing. Now I was doing the same thing to her.

  I gently took her hand and held it between mine. “I’m here, Mama.”

  Chapter 14

  Jaxon

  “Jaxon, wake up,” a voice called out. All through the night, I’d had one nightmare right after the other. I couldn’t seem to wake up from them. “Jack, wake up,” the voice said again, the name Jack catching my attention. She hadn’t called me that in a long time. Groaning, I lifted my head and my neck was on fire. “It’s about time,” my mother said, laughing.

  My vision was blurry, so I blinked a few times to get it to clear. When I could finally see, my mother sat up in the bed, smiling at me as I repositioned myself in the chair next to her. Her eyes were the same color as mine and I could see the strength in them. Her body might be dying, but her soul was still alive and well.

  “How long have you been awake?”

  She shrugged. “For a while. I was just watching you sleep like I used to do when you were a baby.”

  She squeezed my hand and I squeezed back. “How are you feeling?”

  “Pretty good, actually. There’s been some pain, but now that I’m on morphine it’s not so bad. They say it’s coming from my body shutting down. I guess this is what dying feels like.”

  The words stung, but I knew it was the truth. I didn’t want to think of her being in any pain or having to suffer. She was probably hurting as we spoke, but too damn stubborn to say anything. She never wanted me or my brother to know she was in pain. When my father died, she put on a brave face, but I could hear her crying when she thought no one could hear her.

  “What can I do, Mama? I’m so fucking clueless right now.” My chest ached and I could barely breathe. I hated feeling helpless.

  She continued to hold my hand. “You can talk to me. Hearing your voice will make me feel better. I’ve missed you so much.”

  I shook my head. “I hate myself for not visiting more. I wish I had more time.”

  “You’re here now; that’s all that matters. Besides, your life is in North Carolina now. Your father would be so proud of you, just like I am.” My phone beeped and I pulled it out of my pocket. There were ten missed text messages. “Your phone has been going off like crazy. I’m surprised you slept through it.” My mother laughed.

  There were a few messages from Derek and Aaron, asking where I was since I wasn�
��t at the airport like I was supposed to be. I texted them back and told them what was going on so they’d know I was already in Tampa. But then, the last text was from Bristol.

  Bristol: Thinking of you. I hope everything’s okay.

  A small smile spread across my face and my mother caught it, her face beaming. “Do I see a smile on your face? Who might I ask put it there?”

  I texted Bristol back so she’d know I was fine and told her I wished she were with me. It was the truth. “Her name is Bristol,” I told her.

  “Bristol, huh? That’s an interesting name. Is it serious?”

  I shrugged. “Kind of. I wish you could meet her. You would love her.”

  “Looks like you do too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on your face.”

  “What kind of look?” I asked curiously.

  She leaned her head back on her pillow and smiled. “The same look your father used to give me. That man knew how to make me weak in the knees. I fell in love with him the first night we kissed.”

  “How did you know?”

  Her eyes twinkled. “You just do. Have you thought about any other woman since you’ve been with her?”

  I chuckled. “No.”

  She held up her hands in triumph. “There you go. I never thought I’d see the day my baby boy fell in love. It’s something I’ve always wanted for you.”

  My smile faded when reality struck. I still hadn’t told Bristol the truth. It wasn’t going to matter if I was in love with her or not. “She’s going to hate me when she finds out what I did,” I said.

  Her brows furrowed. “What did you do? You didn’t cheat on her, did you?”

  “No,” I said, “but I did lie to her. I don’t think she’ll forgive me when I tell her the truth.”

  Lifting her hand, she patted me on the cheek. “If she loves you, she will.” She hissed in pain and grabbed her side.

  “Mom, you okay?”

  She bit her lip and released a shaky breath. “Sometimes the pain just flares up every once in a while. I can handle it, though.”

  “You need medicine. I don’t want to see you suffering. Let me go see when the nurse is coming.”

  I started to get up, but she grabbed my arm. “Stay. I don’t want to talk to you in a drugged haze. That’s not how I want you to remember this talk.”

  It killed me to sit back down when I knew she was hurting, but I had to respect her wish. “Are you afraid?” I asked her. I never gave much thought about my own death, but I knew I wasn’t ready for it.

  Her lips pulled back into a sad smile. “I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of what I’m going to miss. I’ll never get to hold a grandbaby in my arms or see you and your brother get married. There’s so much I still want to see. The only thing that gets me through it is that I know I’ll see your father again. He’s waiting for me.”

  She leaned over and tried to reach for her jewelry box but she couldn’t get it. “I got it,” I said, walking over to the other side of the bed. I picked it up and handed it to her.

  “Thank you,” she said, her eyes lighting up. When she opened it, she pulled out a necklace I hadn’t seen her wear in years. It was an antique Celtic cross made out of silver with black diamonds and our family crest in the center. The necklace was old, dating back generations, and it was probably worth tens of thousands of dollars. It was the most sacred artifact in our family history.

  She held it out to me and I took it. “This needs to be locked up in a safe.”

  “It does,” she agreed. “You can put it in yours when you go home. I’m giving it to you.”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  She nodded. “You can pass it down to your kids. It’s always given me luck, so I know it’ll help you. Maybe the Cougars will win the Super Bowl again.”

  I clasped the necklace around my neck. “Let’s hope so. We have a lot of work to do before we make it there.”

  “You’ll make it. And as you know, I haven’t missed a game yet. Brent and I will be watching you on Sunday.” Soon she wasn’t going to be around to watch us.

  A knock sounded on the door and Brent stuck his head in. “Hey, Mama, you doing okay?”

  She waved him over and he sat down on the other side of her bed. “Thank you for taking care of me. I couldn’t have asked for better sons.”

  We both took her hands and a tear rolled down her cheek. All my life, I was brought up to be strong, but I couldn’t keep the feelings in any longer. For the first time since I could remember, I let the tears fall. Brent didn’t say a word, nor did he look at me as we sat there staring at our mother in complete silence. She knew there was nothing she could say to make us feel better. Her death was inevitable and it was coming fast.

  I wiped the tears angrily from my face and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I love you, Mama.”

  Lips trembling, she kissed me back. “I love you too. Make sure to kick straight.”

  “I always do.”

  Chapter 15

  Bristol

  Jack had texted me several times over the weekend and I could feel his pain. I wanted to hear his voice, but I didn’t want to push him. Males dealt with pain differently from females. They wanted to be the strong ones that held it together, and I could see the embarrassment in Jack’s face the other night when he broke down. There was nothing to be ashamed of in showing your feelings, but again, guys were different. For that matter, I didn’t like crying in front of others either.

  Jack had been gone for three days now and it was already Sunday. I had no clue if he was coming back anytime soon or if he was going to stay until his mother passed. I’d given him a promise that I’d be here when he got back and I was going to keep it.

  Pulling out my phone, I sent a text to my brother. It was something I always did on game days.

  Me: Good luck today!

  Ryan: Thanks, Bris. I’m going to need it.

  Hopefully, everything would get squared away with his team. I hated seeing him so torn up about his teammates. They were all supposed to get along and work together. Who would have thought they’d end up acting like a bunch of girls in high school?

  With Ryan gone for the weekend, I decided to treat myself to a decadent lunch. The sky was crystal clear, nothing but blue and wisps of white as I looked up. The cool breeze blew through the streets and I breathed it in. Fall was my favorite season, especially now that the leaves were finally turning colors. There was a restaurant close by that served country cooking and it was perfect for a Sunday afternoon. I’d done well enough all week with eating healthy that I could afford a day of fried food.

  Before I could walk in the door to the restaurant, I heard my name from behind. “Bristol?” I turned around, and my client Jennifer Hallowell rushed up. “I thought it was you,” she said. She had her blond hair pulled high in a ponytail and was dressed in a skintight T-shirt and yoga pants.

  “Hey, how are you? You working out?”

  “Yep, just getting started. My fiancé lives a couple of blocks over, so when I stay with him I like to run around downtown. Want to join me?” she asked.

  I glanced inside the restaurant and could just hear the fried chicken calling my name, but maybe Jennifer stopping me was a sign. “Sure, but I have to change first. If you want, you can come up with me. I live right there,” I said, pointing up at my building.

  “Of course, I’d be happy to. If we talk about interior design you’re not going to charge me, are you?” she teased.

  We both laughed and started down the sidewalk. “No, silly. I don’t have anyone to work out with other than my brother, so this will be a nice change.”

  “Where is he today?” she asked.

  She followed me inside my building and Stan, the security guard, waved as we walked past. “My brother’s the new quarterback for the Cougars. They have a game today in Florida, so he’s away.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh wow, you have a famous brother. I heard our quarterback got hurt, but I didn’t
know who they had gotten to replace him.”

  We rode the elevator up to my floor and I couldn’t help but smile. “Ryan Delaney is his name. He’s my half brother.”

  When we got to my condo, I let her inside and she gasped. “This place is amazing. Let me guess, you decorated yourself?”

  “You know it.” I laughed. “Let me hurry and change, and then I’ll be ready.”

  She walked over to my windows and peered out. “No rush. I’ll just be admiring the view.” Digging in my drawers, I found a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt. Once dressed, I joined her back in the living room. She glanced at her watch and then at me. “You do realize the Cougars start playing in an hour, right?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t usually watch the games anymore. I dated a football player once and it was a huge mistake. If you follow the NFL, you might know him. His name is Mark Whitmore.”

  She snorted. “Oh, I know who he is. I think every woman in this country knows as well.”

  “Exactly my point. He was never satisfied with just one.” Bending down, I tied my tennis shoes and stretched. “You ready?”

  “Yep, let’s go.” Once we were back outside and on the sidewalk, I let her set the pace at a soft jog. “I have to admit, you have a stronger willpower than me.”

  “How so?” I asked, sucking in a breath.

  “Being able to be around all those NFL players. Have you seen the guys on our team? They’re hot as hell.”

  I burst out laughing. “I haven’t paid attention. Besides, I’m kind of dating someone now. He’s a designer like me, but he designs cars and motorcycles. I’ve sworn off football players.”

  “Probably a smart thing,” she said. “I’d stay away from them if I were you.”

  We turned the corner and my calves started to burn. “Couldn’t agree more.”

  Chapter 16

  Jaxon

  I was half tempted to stay with my mother and brother, but they weren’t having it. They’d basically kicked me out of the house and demanded that I get to the game. I knew I’d get in trouble if I didn’t show up, but I honestly didn’t care. I was losing my mother. Anyone who couldn’t see the urgency in that could kiss my ass.