by S. J. Sylvis
Cole’s knee went between my legs as his hard chest pressed against mine. He smelled like the ocean, and it would’ve been refreshing if I wasn’t frozen with fear. I deserve this. Just like I deserved the karma I got served after.
A whimper came from deep inside my chest, and Cole’s glare vanished for a split second. “You told him I was a rapist.”
My eyes shut as the word assaulted me.
Darkness clouded my vision as I tried to push away the thoughts scratching at the walls of my brain. My hands reached up on their own, and I put them on Cole’s chest. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, about to shove him away.
“Why’d you do it, Madeline? Huh? Were you that desperate to fuck me?”
I shook my head hastily, my eyes still sealed shut. “I—I…” I couldn’t think straight. “I’m sorry, Cole. I wasn’t…” I swallowed, trying to catch my breath. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I was trying to prove…” The words were lost on my tongue.
When I’d started that rumor, months ago, I was at my lowest. I was trying to prove to everyone that Christian was my knight in shining armor, that I still had a hold on him, because I felt him slipping from my grasp. I felt my entire existence at English Prep slipping. I wanted to prove to everyone that Christian loved me, but my plan backfired.
“Trying to prove what? Huh?” I jumped at the coldness in Cole’s tone.
Just as a mortifying tear was beginning to fall over my cheek, Cole’s threatening shadow was ripped from my vision.
A thundering, rough voice boomed throughout the hall. “Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t throw you over this fucking banister and break your body in half.”
My mouth fell open at the sight of Eric holding Cole by the collar of his shirt over the hall banister. Cole’s face turned beet red, angry lines running all over his features.
Eric’s back was to me, but I could see the tenseness in his broad shoulders. The veins in his forearms bulged with rushing blood. He was going to fucking kill him.
Oh my God.
“Eric!” I shouted, rushing toward them. “Stop! What are you doing?” Never mind the mind-blowing fact that Eric was coming to my rescue. But he was dangling Cole over a sea of people who were beginning to give us their attention. People had their phones out, recording the incident. This was bad.
“Eric, let him go!” I said between clenched teeth. My skin was hot and itchy, the bothersome feeling creeping up my neck.
Eric’s fists were as white as a ghost as he clung onto Cole’s shirt. He shot me a look that felt like a knife cutting my throat. “Was it him?” he demanded.
I stared into his stormy eyes that were clouded with anger. “Was what him?! Eric, let him go right now. You’re going to kill him.”
He chuckled sarcastically. It was sinister-like. “That’s the fucking point, Madeline.” He turned back to Cole who was actively trying to stay still. “Did you fucking rape her?”
Cole looked at me like he wanted to wring my neck. “What the fuck, Madeline?! Again?”
“No, no, no!” I slapped my hand on Eric’s forearm. “That was a rumor made up months ago, Eric. Let him go! I was apologizing to him.”
Eric shook his head angrily. “That wasn’t a fucking rumor, Madeline.”
Oh my God. “What? Yes, it was! Cole did not rape me. Or Cara!”
Cole scoffed, trying to push Eric’s vise-like grip off his shirt. “Fucking finally. Can I get that on camera?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Eric seethed in his direction.
Movement below caught my eye as I saw the Wellington Prep boys starting to edge closer to the stairs. Each and every last one of them looked lethal as they kept their eyes locked and loaded on Eric.
Cole grunted. “I didn’t fucking rape her, man.” He glared at me for a moment before continuing. “Although she probably fucking deserved it for making up that rumor.”
My heart bled inside my chest. He was right. A dark cloud started to crowd my vision again as my breath began to hiccup. Nope. I shoved the memory away as hard as I could and squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them again after regaining my composure, I locked onto Eric who was observing me intently.
He gave me one more quick glance and then pulled Cole away from the banister before hitting him so hard I heard something crack. Cole bent over at his knees and shouted. Blood began to rush from his face onto the floor. Eric snarled as he took a step back. His dark hair was sweaty on his head, sticking to his forehead. The muscles in his jaw ticked back and forth as he rubbed his knuckles. Over his shoulder, halfway down the stairs, I saw Christian and Ollie running with all of Cole’s friends behind them.
It was going to be a brawl, and I was the one standing in between the two opposing sides.
“What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck is Eric fighting on your behalf?” Ollie demanded, rushing in front of me as Christian strode to stand beside Eric. I heard Christian make a snarky remark to Cole as Ollie snapped his fingers in my face. “Madeline? What the fuck did you do?”
I began shaking my head. “Nothing! Eric misunderstood. I told him to stop!” I stumbled over my words. “He thinks…” Loud commotion had Ollie and me ceasing our conversation.
Cole was yelling at Eric, telling him to come at him again. And Christian was holding Eric back, telling him to stop. “Eric, calm the fuck down. There’s three of us and ten of them. We’ll have to pick a fight another time.”
Eric yelled over Christian’s shoulder. “You’re fucking sick, saying shit like that! You deserve more than a fucking broken nose.”
Christian snapped his head to Ollie and me as he struggled to hold Eric back by his shoulders. “A little fucking help? Madeline, get him out of here! Fix whatever you did to cause this.” I didn’t waste any time running over and grabbing Eric’s forearm to pull him away.
Christian yelled at Ollie, “You’re tight with Piper’s cousin. Go fix this shit so we don’t get fucking ambushed.” He grabbed onto Eric’s face—hard. “Go. Right now. Calm the fuck down.”
Eric ripped his jaw from Christian’s grasp and locked onto me. I turned around quickly, unable to stand being scrutinized, and pulled his arm along with me. I whisked him into the door at the end of the hall and locked it behind us, ignoring the sign taped to the front that said Out of order - go pee outside.
The light was on within seconds, and his arm was ripped out of my grasp even quicker.
He stormed the tiny room, walking over the dirty vinyl floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. His shaky hand reached up, and he shoved his now curling black hair off his forehead and continued to breath heavily through his nose.
The hollow parts of his cheeks were tinted with an angry red. His eyes were darting. He looked everywhere but at me. Which was fine. I could hardly form words without his eyes on me, let alone if they were.
Almost as if he heard my thought, he stopped pacing and stood right in front of me. I kept my eyes on the tan bathroom rug that laid in between us, feeling like my lungs were going to explode.
“Who fucking touched you?”
My stomach dropped, and I somehow found the strength to raise my gaze, but I was too ashamed to look him in the eye. Instead, I looked in the mirror just over his shoulder and held back a shudder.
Strands of blonde hair framed my face, but it did nothing but accentuate my pale cheeks. My blue eyes glittered with unshed tears, and my lips were trembling. Fuck.
I pulled myself out of the trance and tried keeping my eyes unreadable as I placed them on Eric who was waiting for my answer. His strong, straight nose was flaring as he breathed deeply.
“What are you talking about?” I tried to deflect. “I told you it was a rumor I made up months ago. You remember. You were at the party when I told Christian.”
There was a slight twitch to Eric’s eye. “Who fucking raped you, Madeline? Was it him? Because I will snap his body in half.”
My voice was shaky. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “I told you… It—"
Eric rus
hed at me, and I pressed my back along the locked door, my breath catching in my throat. “Stop lying.”
I swore, in that moment, Eric was peeling back my layers one by one, and he was seeing all the little truths that laid behind. I swallowed, trying to even my breathing. “Eric—"
His hand wrapped around my chin. It wasn’t a tight, angry grasp. It was gentle, but his eyes were anything but. The dark pools were filled with anger and all things alpha. He was angry. And that set an entirely new batch of anxiety into my already-in-overdrive body.
“It wasn’t him,” I finally choked out, almost doubling over with queasiness.
Eric’s eyes shut, his temples wiggling back and forth. His dark eyelashes danced as he kept his lids closed. The calloused hand on my face tightened just enough to bring me back to reality. What did I just do?
At the last second, his eyes fluttered opened. They were no longer filled with rage but with something else entirely. “But someone did? Someone raped you?”
There was that word again. The word that dragged me underneath the high tide and kept drowning me all together. Raped. Someone raped you.
My eyes were stinging, and my throat was closing. I’d never in my life wanted someone as much as I wanted him in that moment. I wanted to cave into him. I wanted to bury my head in the crook of his neck and have him make me forget everything.
So I did the only thing I could think of to get out of the predicament. I glanced down to his mouth and pressed my lips to his. His hand quickly dropped from my chin as my tongue met his. His mouth was warm and tasted like cheap beer. My back arched as he gripped my hips—hard, his fingers biting at the skin underneath my shirt.
I waited for him to push me off and tell me he hated me. I wanted to make him mad. I wanted him to hate me again. The kiss was supposed to be a move in a chess game. I wanted to remind him that I wasn’t worth saving. I needed him to stop looking at me with pity.
But the kiss was the opposite. It was like opening a floodgate of trapped emotions inside my heart. I expected it to trigger something dark and unforgiving, but the kiss was anything but.
Briefly, very briefly, I wondered what it would feel like to be loved by a guy like him. How it would feel to be worshiped by a guy like him. How it would feel to be protected by a guy like him.
The room spun around me as he picked me up and slammed my butt down on the bathroom vanity, spilling random products to the floor. I scooted forward and pressed my middle to the bulge in his jeans as his hands cupped my face. His fingers were tangled in my hair, his teeth scraping over mine.
My body was on fire.
The only thing I could see was him.
The only thing I could taste was him.
A loud bang hit the bathroom door, and instantly, I knew the moment was gone.
Eric’s mouth left mine, and his hands were ripped out of my hair. He put much needed distance between us. “Goddamnit, Madeline,” he growled. “I should have seen that coming! You play fucking dirty.” He looked appalled. “That was the last thing I intended to do tonight. Especially now.”
I hopped off the vanity on trembling legs, annoyed that I was enjoying myself. The kiss was supposed to put a wedge between us. He was supposed to push me away and remember that he hated me. I needed him to stop prying. But he wasn’t.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked with a bite in my tone, but the truth was, I felt more embarrassed than ever. I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was damaged now. He thought I was weak.
Eric wiped the back of his hand over his mouth like he was ridding himself of my kiss. “Did you think that kissing me was going to make me forget?”
My stomach flipped with unease. “Forget that I betrayed you? Forget that I ruined our friendship all those years ago? Forget that you hate me?” I began shaking my head. “No…” That was the point.
“No,” he answered angrily. “I’m referring to the fact that you got fucking raped by someone. That’s why you don’t sleep, right? Because you keep having nightmares about it?”
My lungs began to burn. My heart thumped loudly behind my ear drums. I am weak. I stole one tiny glance at Eric and felt myself crumble. I need to get out of here.
I didn’t usually run from confrontation, but if I didn’t run right now, I’d likely pass out, and I wasn’t doing that. A weird rush of feelings I’d never felt before were pelting my skin, and I needed it to stop.
Before Eric could say anything else, I flew past him and threw the door open. I ran down the hall, bypassing Ollie and Christian, along with the Wellington Prep gang, and I didn’t stop hyperventilating until I made it to my car and down the street.
I parked off to the side, just underneath a flickering streetlight as my eyes began to blur. A loud sob erupted from deep inside my chest.
I hated myself.
And I hated Eric for bringing up the one thing I wanted to forget.
I was angry, sad, ashamed, and all sorts of other things.
Exhausted being one of them.
I got even angrier, realizing I didn’t even meet up with Atticus. My hand stung from smacking my steering wheel.
Shit!
Chapter Fourteen
Eric
“You mean to tell me…” Ollie pushed his head in between the driver and passenger seats where Christian and I sat, parked in my driveway. “That your dad fucked Madeline’s mom?”
“For years,” I answered bleakly, staring at her stupid window that was—you guessed it—glowing.
I finally had to come clean and fill them in on what had been eating away at me for the last few months. Although Ollie and Christian were the two people I trusted most on this godforsaken earth, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them about Madeline. They knew I hated her; they knew that she knew all about my father fucking her mom, but that was it.
I wasn’t about to tell them what I’d found out. I wasn’t about to tell them that I had this indescribable pull inside my body that had me considering barging into her bedroom right now to finish our earlier conversation.
She fucking kissed me. She kissed me!
For the past few years, on my worst days, I’d let myself imagine what kissing those hot lips would feel like. How it would feel to wrap my hands in her golden hair and make her crumble in my arms. I’d wondered what she’d taste like and what she’d feel like against my palms. And it was nothing like I’d ever imagined.
I hated it but loved it at the same time. Story of my fucking life when it came to her.
And now that she was away from me and I was able to calm down and get my thoughts straight, I was so pissed. I wasn’t mad that she kissed me, but I shouldn’t have kissed her back. Not because I was back to my right mind and hating her again; it just felt so fucking wrong. She was raped. My head was spinning as Christian’s voice rang out again.
“Her mom always did seem slutty. Much like Madeline.” My chest tightened; my neck stiffened. I pressed my back into the seat to keep myself steady.
I knew Christian despised Madeline. To be honest, he despised anyone who wasn’t Hayley, but he was still a good guy. If he knew what I knew, he wouldn’t have said that.
“Yeah,” I finally answered. “Things are just fucked up right now. I’m certain my parents are getting divorced, and good fucking riddance, but my mom is throwing herself into shifts at the hospital, and it’s probably because she can’t stand to look over at Madeline’s house without being reminded of it.”
Ollie grunted. “I’d say. What a fucked-up thing to do. Fucking the neighbor, only a few yards away from your wife.”
A piercing pain shot into my chest.
“Yeah, my father is a fucking ass.” I sighed, unclenching my tight fist. “So anyway, that’s what’s been going on. That’s why I snapped when I saw Madeline.”
Not exactly true.
I glanced in the rearview mirror, barely able to see Ollie’s expression due to the darkness inside Christian’s Charger, but I felt the suspicion lingering.
/>
“Why were you about to kill Cole then? It looked like you were mad that he was hitting on her or something.” Christian was apparently also a little leery.
I shrugged, giving him a side glance. “Maybe I’m taking a little page out of the almighty Christian’s handbook. Madeline is my enemy. I’m the only one who can fuck with her.” I cocked an eyebrow. “It wasn’t too long ago that you threatened everyone that even dared look in Hayley’s direction. ‘She was yours to bully,’ I think is what you said in the locker room.”
Christian scoffed. “That was different.”
“Nah, brother. It’s not,” Ollie joked. “It’s literally the same fucking thing.”
I chuckled when Christian scoffed again.
“Fine. She’s yours. I’ll give you that.” He gave me a long look, as if he were trying to unravel my thoughts. “But don’t fall for her, bro. I don’t want to see you get wrapped up in the Madeline web. She has issues.”
Yeah, just like Hayley did.
“What kind of issues?” I asked patiently. Does he know more than he’s letting on?
He shrugged, turning back to face the road in front of us. “I don’t know. Maybe Hayley was right. Maybe something happened to her to make her the way that she is, but that girl has fucking thorns. If you get too close, she’ll cut you.”
Swallowing back the words I wanted to say, I nodded. “Don’t have to worry about that. I want nothing to do with her. I just like making her suffer. She deserves it, right?”
The words tasted bitter on my tongue. I’d basically just repeated what Cole had said. I didn’t fucking rape her, man. Although she probably deserved it. My lungs burned at the thought. My pulse skyrocketed. The remnants of anger were still coursing through my veins like a dam being broken. Blood rushed fast and hard.
My hand shot out to the door handle. “I’m tired. Those vodka shots I took with that annoying chick are catching up to me.”
“She was annoying,” Ollie agreed. “Why was she squealing like a seal every time you took a shot?”