Rainy Days

by Victoria Zagar

  Michael returned to the trailer, upset and frustrated. He quietly opened the door and slipped in, hoping his tear stains wouldn’t show. Michelle woke and stepped out of her room into the kitchen.

  “Michael? Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay,” Michael lied. “Just a little emotional, that’s all. Our little girl is growing up.”

  “She sure is. Come to bed, Michael.”

  The phone rang. “Who the hell could be calling at this hour?” Michelle asked.

  Michael picked up the phone. “Hello?” Please let it be Ash. No, he would call my cellphone. Unless it’s an emergency... A sinking feeling filled his gut and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

  “Is this Michael Williams?”

  “Yeah. Who’s asking?”

  “This is Hightop Medical Center. You’re listed as the emergency contact for Ashley Fallow.”

  “Oh my God.” Michael said, almost dropping the phone. “What happened? Is he okay?” The sinking feeling inside him exploded into pure terror. Michelle asked who was on the phone and he waved her away angrily.

  “He was in a motorcycle accident. He failed to stop for a railway crossing and was hit by a train. His condition is severe. He’s slipped into a coma.”

  “No...” Michael rested his head on the wall. “I’ll be right there.” Michael said, hanging up the phone.

  “What’s going on?” Michelle asked.

  “I have to go,” Michael said, finding his sneakers and slipping them back on. His mind was a blur, racing at a million miles an hour. Motorcycle accident. Hit by a train. He’s in a coma.

  “At least tell me where you’re going! Michael, what the hell is going on?”

  “I’m going to the hospital,” Michael said. “I’ll call you later. Just go to bed.” He slammed the door of the trailer. Michelle followed him out into the rain but he got into her car and sped away before she could stop him.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Face The Music

  Michael parked his car haphazardly in the hospital parking lot, running to the front desk. He stood there trying to form words to tell the receptionist what he needed.

  “Um, I just got a phone call. I’m Ashley Fallow’s emergency contact. I need to see him. Please.”

  “Okay, what relation to the patient are you?”

  “I’m... I’m his boyfriend,” Finally, I said it.

  “Oh.” The receptionist picked up a phone. “Dr. Summers. Yeah, I need you down at the front desk.”

  Michael paced the reception area until the doctor arrived. Dr. Summers was an older man, and he looked tired as the receptionist leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

  “Boyfriend, huh? You do know that means I can’t let you see him. Immediate family only.” Dr. Summers said.

  “He doesn’t have any family!” Michael said. “I’m all he has. Please let me see him. Please!” Michael’s hands were in his hair and he felt ready to punch the receptionist.

  The doctor sighed. “Come with me.” He led Michael to an elevator. The doctor hit the call button and they walked into the first free space. The doctor pressed the button to go up.

  “I’m not supposed to do this,” Dr. Summers explained. “The truth is, Ashley might not live through the night. We’ve done our best to stabilize his condition. The rest is up to God now.”

  The elevator doors opened and Michael felt the fear chilling him down to his bones despite the stifling heat i the hospital. He might not live through the night. No, he has to live. I want to tell him how much I love him. I want to hold him in my arms again. It can’t end like this.

  Michael let himself be led along a hallway into a private room. A gasp escaped his lips as he saw Ash hooked up to a ventilator and wrapped in more bandages than Michael had ever seen.

  “Ash,” he whispered, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to him.

  “He’s in a coma, so he can’t hear you. Even if he makes it through the night, there are many challenges ahead. His spinal cord was damaged in the accident. There’s a good chance he’ll never walk again. Also, there may be brain damage. We won’t know until he wakes up.” The doctor sighed. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

  Michael took Ash’s hand and kissed his fingers gently. I did this to you, he thought. I should have left Michelle sooner. I should have been braver and cut the cord, but I was too scared. Now you might be gone forever.

  He balled his hands into fists as he looked at Ash’s swollen face, the nails digging into his palms. There was a large lump on Ash’s head where he’d presumably hit the ground. I can barely recognize the man I love. I wish it was somebody else. I wish I could take your place. All I did was lie and cheat while you waited patiently for me. You don’t deserve this.

  You might never walk again. You might not even be able to feed yourself, but I won’t leave your side, Ash. It’s my fault you’re like this. It’s time for me to face the music and live up to my responsibilities to you. Something I should have done a long time ago. He gently rested Ash’s hand back on his chest. “I love you, Ash,” he said, feeling the need to say it out loud.

  A few minutes later Michelle rushed into the room with Michael’s dad in tow. Michael’s dad gave him a grave look.

  “What the hell is going on?” Michelle yelled. “I deserve an explanation. It took a lot of confused doctors and explanations to find you.” She looked at the figure in the bed and gasped. “Is that Ash?”

  “You deserve the truth,” Michael said. “and yes, it’s Ash.” He closed his eyes. His dad excused himself quietly and closed the door to the private room behind him.

  “What is he to you?” Michelle asked, the words barely a whisper as if she was afraid of the answer. “The staff downstairs were confused. They told me you said he was your boyfriend. So they were a little shocked when your wife showed up.”

  I could just tell her that I said that to get in here, but I’m done with lying. It’s time to tell the truth at last.

  “It’s true,” Michael said. “I’ve been having an affair with Ash.” He watched her expression cycle through disbelief and pain, crumpling as her worst doubts and fears were confirmed.

  “All those late nights home... The trip to the zoo... It was all so you could spend time with him...” Michelle said, putting the pieces together.

  “Yeah. Michelle, I tried. I wanted to stay for Taryn’s sake, but I can’t deny my feelings for Ash. Michelle, I want a divorce. We have to end our dysfunctional marriage.”

  “You want a divorce? The nerve!” Michelle yelled. “I was in the hospital losing our baby and you were fucking him up the ass!” She grabbed a tissue box from the bedside table and threw it at Michael, followed by an empty vase which shattered against the wall. “What about me? What do you think I’ve been through these past few months trying to keep our family together? I wasn’t fucking anybody!” She went to hit Michael but he held her wrists. She pulled them back from his grip angrily.

  “I know all that,” Michael said, a calm feeling settling over him. “I know I haven’t been fair to you. I should have been honest in the beginning. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. Please, let’s just come to an agreement. I only want Taryn on the weekends. You can look after her the rest of the time. I have no desire to take her away from you.”

  Michelle laughed. “Oh, you’re rich. You’re not seeing Taryn ever again. I won’t have her raised by a couple of perverts. The courts will back me up on that.”

  “She’s my daughter too!” Michael shouted. “You can’t stop me from seeing her!”

  “Watch me. You’ll get your divorce, Michael, but I promise you that I’ll lay bare every detail of your sordid relationship with him.” She spat out the last word with a hiss, heading for the door which she pulled open angrily. “I hope he dies. It’s what you deserve.” She grabbed Taryn from Michael’s dad and stalked away down the hallway, almost dragging Taryn along behind her.

  “Taryn!” Michael yelle
d down the hallway. “TARYN!” Taryn turned and looked at him, bursting into tears. She pulled at her mother’s hand but Michelle pulled back, turning Taryn around and moving her along. Michael moved to follow them but his dad pulled him back.

  “Let them go,” Michael’s dad said. “Michelle needs time.”

  “I’ve fucked everything up,” Michael said. “I’ve lost them all. Ash could die. Michelle hates me. I’ll never see Taryn again.” He was shaking as his dad put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

  “You’ll see Taryn again. I don’t care if we have to remortgage the house, we’ll get a good lawyer to make your case.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” Michael said. They stepped back into Ash’s room and Michael sat down by Ash’s bedside.

  “I’m going to bring your mother in on this tomorrow. No more secrets, Michael. You love this man and that’s okay with me, but you need to own up to everything.”

  “Okay. Do you think she’ll be angry?”

  “Maybe. You know how much she adores Taryn. It’s not going to be easy for her to accept that she’s not going to see her much from now on.”

  “It’s not easy on me, either,” Michael said. “Taryn was the whole reason I put up with Michelle for so long.”

  Michael’s dad sighed. “It’s not gonna be an easy road, son. The doctors told me that Ash may never walk again. That he might even be brain damaged. Are you willing to take care of him twenty-four hours a day?”

  “That’s what you do for someone you love.” Michael took Ash’s hand in his again. “It’s my fault he’s here. If I’d just been honest--”

  “You can’t stay because of guilt,” Michael’s dad said. “Otherwise you’re just stepping into another prison. It’s no joke to wipe somebody’s ass when they can’t do it for themselves. It takes love and dedication. If you want to back away, Michael, nobody would blame you. I’ll even pay for you to get out of this town, start a new life somewhere else.”

  “Never.” Michael squeezed Ash’s hand. “Dad, I love him. I’m not staying because of guilt. I don’t care if he can never walk again. Even if he’s brain damaged. I’ll stay by his side until the end. I don’t care what it takes, or what I have to do. I’ll never leave him.”

  Michael’s dad smiled. “Okay, then. I’ve never seen you like this, Michael. It must be the real deal. So I’ll say no more. Now, do you want me to stay, or shall I leave?”

  “Go and get some sleep. I won’t leave him tonight.”

  “Michelle probably took her car back. Call me if you need a break and I’ll come pick you up, okay? I’ll talk to your mother.”

  “Thanks, Dad. For everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Michael stood and gave him a hug, and he left, leaving Michael alone with the sound of the machines. He tucked Ash’s hair back behind his ear, planting a kiss on his forehead before sitting back down.

  “It’s gonna be a long night, Ash,” Michael whispered, “but I’ll be here for you every step of the way. When you wake up, everything’s going to change. No more lies, Ash. No more stalling. Ball’s in your court.”

  Michael dozed in his chair and woke as Dr. Summers stepped into the room with a nurse the next morning. “Oh, you’re still here. Well, looks like he made it through the night.”

  “When will he wake up?” Michael asked, stretching in his chair.

  “When he’s ready,” Dr. Summers said. “When the swelling around his brain goes down. Then we’ll be able to find out if there’s any brain damage. We’re on his schedule. I can’t tell you how long it will be. There’s a chance he might never wake up.”

  Michael’s dad knocked on the door. “Sorry to interrupt. Michael, I brought your mom with me.” Michael’s mom walked into the room and hugged Michael. She looked at Ash laying prone in the bed. “I’m so sorry, honey. Your dad told me everything.”

  “You’re not angry?”

  “Don’t be silly,” Michael’s mom said. “I was a bit surprised, but you're my son. I want you to be happy.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” Michael’s dad said. “I can give you a ride, and your mom will call you if anything changes.”

  “Okay,” Michael rubbed at his tired eyes. “Mom, if anything changes at all, call me okay?”

  “Of course, honey. Get some sleep, okay?”

  Michael was quiet all the way home, dozing and waking intermittently. “Take me to Tower Heights. I can stay at Ash’s apartment.”

  “Are you sure?” Michael’s dad asked. “You’re welcome to stay at home.”

  “I know, but I’d rather be there.”

  “Okay, then,” Michael’s dad said, dropping him off at the curb.

  Michael took the elevator to Ash’s floor and let himself into the apartment. He shut the door behind him and slumped down on the sofa. This was going to be our home. The place where we built all our dreams. Now we might never get the chance.

  Exhaustion washed over him and he made his way into the bedroom, stripping off his clothes and leaving them in a heap on the floor. He could feel the memories all around him. He lay down on the bed, burying his face in the pillows. They smelled like Ash and he pulled one down next to him, hugging it as though it were Ash next to him as drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Awakening

  Michael woke to find he was still clutching Ash’s pillow. The previous day came back to him with a sinking feeling and he sat up, still holding the pillow close. He looked at his cellphone to find there were no calls. There must be no change, or Mom would have called. He got up and walked to the shower, bathing himself in the warm water.

  Getting out and drying himself with Ash’s towel, he threw on the same clothes he had worn the previous day. I need to get my stuff back from Michelle, but I can’t cope with her right now. Ash comes first.

  His phone rang and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He dived across the bed to get it, picking up at once. “Mom?”

  “Michael, Ash is waking up. The doctors are with him now. He was asking for you.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Michael hung up and called his dad.

  “Dad, Mom called. She said Ash is waking up! I need a ride to the hospital.”

  “Good to hear. I’ll be right there.”

  Michael paced the parking lot as he waited for his dad to arrive. Finally he caught a glimpse of the familiar car as it pulled in and he climbed into the passenger seat.

  “Michael, don’t get too excited. We still don’t know the extent of his injuries.”

  “He’s alive,” Michael said. “That’s all that matters to me. I have so much to say to him.”

  “Don’t bombard the poor man. He might not know where he is or what’s going on. There’s a good chance he won’t even remember the accident.”

  “I know,” Michael fidgeted in his seat. “I just... I owe him an apology. I want him to know things are different now. That I finally lived up to my promises.”

  “There’ll be plenty of time for that,” Michael’s dad said. “Ash’s recovery is going to take a long time.”

  “Yeah. I just want him to know he’s not alone.”

  They pulled into the hospital parking lot and Michael left his father behind, running through the hospital hallways until he reached Ash’s room. The door was closed and Michael’s mom was sitting out in the hallway.

  “What’s going on?” Michael asked.

  “Don’t panic, they’re just running some tests.”

  “Damn it, I want to see him,” Michael slumped down on a plastic chair. He bit at his nails as he waited, wanting to smoke a cigarette but knowing he didn’t want to go outside.

  “Did he really ask for me?”

  “I wouldn’t say it if he didn’t,” Michael’s mom said. “Michael was the first word out of his mouth.”

  Michael let out a long sigh. “When are they going to be done in there?”

  The
door opened and Dr. Summers emerged. “Ah, you’ve arrived. Michael, was it?”

  “Yeah,” Michael said. “How is he?”

  “He’s breathing on his own, responding normally to visual stimuli and can even speak. It looks like there’s no brain damage.” Dr. Summers said.

  “Thank God,” Michael felt the relief hit him like a tidal wave.

  “The extent of the spinal cord injury is not yet clear, though,” Dr. Summers said. “The damage was in the lower part of the spinal cord, which is a good thing. It looks like it might be a partial injury as opposed to a complete one, but he’s still going to require a lot of care. He might not be able to walk again, and if he does, it’s probably never going to be unaided.”

  “Did you tell him yet?”

  “I did, but we still don’t fully understand all the ramifications at the moment. We still have a lot of tests to run.”

  “Can I see him?”

  “Yeah.” Dr. Summers motioned to the other doctors and nurses in the room, who finished up their tests and filed out. Michael tentatively stepped into Ash’s room, closing the door behind him and sitting down at Ash’s bedside.

  “Michael...” Ash murmured. Michael took his hand and gripped it tightly.

  “I’m here. I left Michelle, Ash. I’ll fight for Taryn. Dad says he’s going to help. I want to be with you.”

  “Did they tell you I might never walk again?” Ash asked, closing his eyes. “I can’t offer you a future, Michael. You should leave me and go back to your family.”

  “Don’t talk crap! Ash, I don’t care if I have to take care of you. I want to do this. Don’t turn away from me now.”

  “Michael...” Ash let go of Michael’s hand and reached up to caress Michael’s face.

  “I thought I was gonna lose you,” Michael said. “You left me, and then I got a call telling me you were here. They said that you’d been hit by a train and that you might not live through the night. I’ve never been so scared in my life, Ash. I thought that I might lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So don’t you dare leave me now. I won’t let you!”