Rainy Days

by Victoria Zagar

  Taryn laughed as the swing rose higher in the air. “Higher!”

  Michael shook his head. “No, that’s high enough, honey. I don’t want you to fall.”

  Ash grabbed his crutches and limped over as Taryn jumped off the swing and hugged them both. Michael leaned in and gave Ash a gentle kiss on the cheek and Ash smiled, even as he felt several sets of eyes on them. Let them look. Let them judge. This is my family, the only one I’ve ever really had, and I’m proud of it. Nobody said a word, however, and they left the park without Michael or Taryn even realizing that they had been the center of attention.

  Taryn yawned as they opened the apartment door. “I’m tired.”

  “It’s bedtime for you, young lady,” Michael said. “You spent all day on those swings and slides. Did you have a good time?”

  “Yes,” Taryn said. Michael tucked her in and watched her go to sleep before heading out into the living room. The balcony door was open in an unspoken invitation and Michael stepped outside, closing the door behind him. Ash was leaning on the railing, his crutches resting up against the wall, looking out over the town as he smoked. Michael pulled out a cigarette and lit up, savoring the taste as he blew the smoke out.

  “Long day, huh?” Ash asked.

  “We got through it. Taryn still loves me. You were right.”

  “Now you don’t have to worry about Taryn finding out about us, at least,” Ash carefully made his way over to a lawn chair and slumped into it.

  “I guess that’s true. I still worry about what she’ll tell Michelle.”

  “Let her talk. I’m not scared of Michelle. Taryn had a right to know. I wasn’t going to hide behind lies.”

  “I was,” Michael said. “It’s so easy to lie to your kids. They believe everything you say. I could have told Taryn that I slipped and fell against you and she would have believed it for a while, at least.”

  “You’re only cheating yourself that way. Did you really want us to be the elephant in the room, the thing you could never talk about? Did you want her to find out about homosexuality from the kids at school and think it’s something to be derided and laughed at?”

  “No, of course not. We did the right thing. I know we did. It was just tough, that’s all.”

  “Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” Ash said. “Everything we’ve done has been hardship and struggle. We’re finally looking at some good times, but there’s more pain ahead too. It’s always on the horizon.”

  “You’re just Mr. Positive today, aren’t you?”

  “It’s true. Life is just a struggle to stay afloat when the current’s always trying to pull you under.”

  Michael remembered the cold river water washing over his head, the current pulling him under and he shook his head. “Let’s use another analogy, shall we?”

  “Sorry. I forgot.”

  “I didn’t,” Michael said. “You saved my life. The current was pulling me under and you pulled me out.”

  You’re not talking about the water, are you? Ash realized, but he just sat and smoked in silence. Michael stubbed out his cigarette and stood up, heading inside. Ash grabbed his crutches and followed Michael to Taryn’s room, where he stood at the door watching her sleep. Ash leaned his head on Michael’s shoulder, resting one crutch against the wall and reaching his arm around to pull Michael close.

  “I don’t know if it was on the swings or what, but everything just came back to me,” Michael said. “All these feelings just came flooding in. The knowledge that I would do anything for my daughter. The fact that I love her. She’s not a stranger, she’s Taryn. My Taryn, and she’s here with us.”

  “I was thinking that this is the only family that I’ve ever truly had. Seeing the smiles on your faces today, I know I would do anything for you and Taryn.”

  “Thank you for everything. If you hadn’t gone to see Michelle, we never would have won the right to see Taryn.”

  “You can thank Marie. She was the one who told me to do it. She said the justice system would never help us.”

  “She was right,” Michael said. “I owe her a lot. You’re walking, we have Taryn... Life couldn’t be better.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Die To Defend, Part One

  Ash hobbled across the therapy room, holding his cane tightly. He made it to the end of the hall without falling over and Marie clapped.

  “Good,” Marie said. “Ash, I think we’ve come to the end of your therapy sessions.”

  “This is as good as I’ll get?”

  “No, but the rest of the work you can do by yourself. You can walk independently now. You don’t need me to help you do exercises.”

  “True enough,” Ash said. “Marie, I want to thank you for everything. Not just the therapy. You’ve been a good friend as well. It was your suggestion to meet with Michelle that won us Taryn.”

  “I’m glad I could help. It’s good to see you looking so happy, Ash. You take care of yourself.”

  “I will. Please thank your husband for me as well. Dr. Summers was a great help to me.”

  “Well then, adios,” Marie said. “Hopefully I’ll never have to see you again. At least not at therapy.”

  “Thanks,” Ash walked out into the hallway and down to the reception desk, where he paid the assistant. He could see Michael sitting down, twiddling his fingers. It’s Friday afternoon again. He always looks so excited to see Taryn. He signed the forms and walked over to Michael.

  “All done,” Ash said. “I’ve been discharged.”

  “Good to hear. You’ve done so well in just a few months, Ash. I’m so proud of you.”

  “I’d still like to ditch this thing someday,” Ash gestured to the cane. “Makes me feel old before my time.”

  Michael chuckled. “You’re not old.” They left together, Michael helping Ash into the car.

  “Time to go get our little lady,” Ash said.

  “Hopefully she’s feeling better. She was so quiet last week. It bothered me.”

  “She was just a little under the weather. Bet you she’s running rings around us this week.” Ash put a supportive hand on Michael’s knee.

  Michael drove to his old house, which now looked newer than when he had bought it. All traces of the flood had been cleaned away and the entire house had been remodeled. Michael stepped up and rang the doorbell. There was no response.

  “Sometime’s definitely inside,” Ash said. “I can hear someone yelling.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I hear it too.” Michael opened the screen door and knocked hard on the door. The door was opened with some force and Michelle’s boyfriend Frank stood there with an enraged look on his face.

  “We’ve come to pick up Taryn, Frank,” Michael said, in response to Frank’s unspoken question.

  Frank’s look changed to a smile. “Oh, she’s all ready.” He ushered Taryn to the door and hastily handed her things to Michael. “Everything should be in there.” He closed the door abruptly.

  “Come on, let’s go,” Michael guided Taryn to the car and loaded her in, then helped Ash into the passenger seat.

  “Did you think he was acting weird?” Ash asked as they drove away.

  “I guess he didn’t like being caught in the middle of a fight.”

  “He just seemed eager to be rid of Taryn, that’s all. He didn’t even kiss her goodbye.”

  “I didn’t even notice that,” Michael said. “Perhaps he did it before he opened the door.”

  Ash turned his head to face Taryn in the back seat. “Did Frank kiss you goodbye?” Taryn shook her head no.

  “So maybe he just forgot. Don’t read into it too much, Ash.”

  “Why so eager to give him the benefit of the doubt? Feeling guilty?”

  “I have no right to be poking into Michelle’s life. I’m not going to be that kind of ex-husband. Stop trying to make Frank out to be a bad guy. I know you’ve hated him since the outset, but one comment doesn’t make him a complete asshole.” Michael sighed, making the turn to T
ower Heights.

  “You’re right, I don’t like him,” Ash said. “I don’t like how quiet Taryn is since she’s lived with him. It bothers me.”

  “Taryn’s just timid. She used to get scared when Michelle and I would fight as well. That doesn’t mean he’s hurting her.”

  “I never said--” Ash began, but Michael cut him off.

  “You implied it. Stop it, Ash. I’m not going to start a fight with Michelle when we finally have things sorted out.”

  “What if he is hurting your daughter?”

  “Show me the evidence, and I’ll lay into him so hard he’ll regret ever being born. Taryn being quiet isn’t proof of anything, though.”

  “I guess. I’m sorry,” They drove the rest of the way in silence and had a quiet dinner.

  “Let’s get you ready for bed,” Michael said, getting up. He took Taryn into the bedroom and found her night clothes stuffed into her bag. Taryn turned away as he moved to change her.

  “What’s wrong, Taryn? You don’t want to sleep?”

  “I want to sleep in these clothes.”

  “You can’t do that. You’ll be too warm.” Michael sighed. “Are you saying you’re a big girl and you want to do it yourself?” Taryn nodded.

  “Okay then. I’ll be right outside. You tell me when you want me to come in and read you a story.”

  “Okay,” Taryn said. Michael went outside and closed the door. He waited for some minutes, pacing around.

  “What’s the matter?” Ash asked.

  “She wanted to get dressed by herself. Guess she’s growing up,” Michael said. He tapped on the door. “Honey, are you ready?” He opened the door and stepped inside. Taryn had her back facing him, only it was the bruises he saw, black and purple spread across her back. Michael gently put his hands on her shoulders and she winced.

  “Taryn, how did you get these?” Michael’s expression was horrified, searching for a rational answer.

  “I tripped at school,” Taryn said. Michael dressed her and put her to bed, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Okay then. Sleep tight, Taryn.” He left the room with a dark expression.

  “I’m going to fucking kill him,” Michael muttered in a low, angry tone. “I’m going to spread his body across three fucking states.”

  “Michael, what happened?” Ash asked, getting up from the sofa.

  “She’s covered in bruises. She said she tripped at school, but--”

  “--but there’s no way. God damn it, I knew it. I could see all the signs.” Ash looked down at the floor. “I should have done more.”

  “You tried to tell me, but I wasn’t listening,” Michael said. “You were right all this time. Damn it!” He hit the wall, leaning his head against it. “I don’t know what to do, Ash. I want to go over there and kick his ass, but I could literally kill him right now.”

  Ash put his free hand on Michael’s back comfortingly. “First, we coax the truth out of Taryn. Then we call Child Services. We do this the right way, Michael.”

  “How much faith do you have in the right way? Did Child Services ever help you?”

  Ash sighed. “No. Mom had the house cleaned, the locks taken off and painted over. She made me seem like a problem child that told tall tales for kicks. Child Services went away without a word.”

  “Meanwhile you went on taking those beatings. I’m not going to let that happen, Ash. She’s eight years old. He could kill her while we do the ‘right thing’.”

  “What do you suggest?” Ash said. “If we go over there and fuck him up, we’re going to end up in a police cell. Trust me, I’d love to get my hands on that asshole and rip him a new one, but if we get arrested, she’s going right back to him and Michelle. Forever.”

  Taryn opened the door and wandered out. “Why are you crying, Daddy? Please don’t yell.” She was trembling. Ash leaned down best he could and pulled her into a fierce hug.

  “Don’t be afraid,” Ash reassured her. “We’re not mad at each other, okay?”

  “OK.” Taryn still looked uneasy.

  “You’re safe here,” Ash said. “We’re going to protect you, Taryn. But to do that, we need to know what really happened. Even if somebody told you not to tell anybody, you can tell us.”

  “Taryn shook her head. “He said he’d hurt Mommy if I told anyone.”

  “We’ll protect her too,” Michael said, still leaning against the wall for support. He was trembling, the adrenaline flowing through his veins. I’m going to kill him. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t left Michelle, this asshole never would have laid hands on my Taryn.

  “He hit me,” Taryn burst into tears. “He told me I was in the way. That I was standing in the way of him and Mommy being happy.”

  Ash’s arm was wrapped around her protectively and she cried into his leg. He stroked her hair as he shot Michael a dark expression.

  “I’m gonna tuck you in and read you a story, okay?” Michael said, gently ushering her into the bedroom. Ash waited outside, leaning his back up against the wall and letting out a long sigh. Michael eventually joined him.

  “So what do we do?”

  “We sleep on it,” Ash said. “In the morning, things will be clearer. Then we can make plans.”

  “There’s no way I can sleep like this.”

  “I’ll give you some of my sleeping pills. A good night’s rest puts a fresh perspective on things.”

  “What if Taryn needs me?”

  “I won’t take the pills,” Ash said. “I’ll be here if she needs me.”

  “Okay. Tomorrow, if I still want to kick his ass--”

  “I’ll help you. I swear it. Just not tonight.” He gave Michael the sleeping pills and he downed them, heading to bed. Ash could feel Michael’s heartbeat slow as he lie next to him. When he heard Michael’s gentle snore, he carefully sat up and grabbed his clothes, dressing as quietly as he could and then he reached for his cane, making his way to the closet. He used the cane to move something on the top shelf and caught the shoebox as it fell. He checked to make sure Michael was still asleep and then used his cane to pull a small locked box towards him.

  He made his way into the kitchen and opened the shoebox, revealing a handgun. A key on his keychain opened the other box to reveal ammunition. He loaded the gun, his hands shaking as he remembered the myriad nights he dreamt of shooting his own stepfather. I never did it. Hopefully I won’t have to do it this time, but this is my family and I will do anything to protect Michael and Taryn. Even if it means going to jail for the rest of my life. At least Michael and Taryn will be together and that asshole will never hurt her again. I’ll gladly go down for that.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Die To Defend, Part Two

  Ash left the apartment, closing the door behind him with a quiet click. I feel guilty leaving Taryn pretty much alone. Hopefully she’ll sleep the whole time and won’t need anything. He headed down the hall and into the elevator, all too aware of the gun pressing into his side from where he had it tucked into his belt.

  He hurried as fast as he could to the parking garage and awkwardly climbed into Michael’s car, setting the gun and his cane on the passenger seat. It’s been a long time since I drove. Hopefully I can still do it. His legs protested as he operated the pedals but he managed to drive slowly through the driving rain to Michelle’s house, where he sat for a few moments with the engine off, his hands shaking. Hopefully I can scare him enough to make him leave town. That’s all I need to do. Nobody needs to get hurt here.

  Ash opened the car door and stepped out, leaning on his cane. I can’t get into a fistfight with this guy. I’ll lose for sure. He took a deep breath to calm his fears, the rain soaking into his hair. He thought about Taryn and the bruises, the way she had shook in his arms. Michael’s face as he thought about killing Frank. If I don’t do this, you will, and you’ll never see your daughter again. The rain streaked down his face as he built up his determination and stepped up to the porch. He knocked on the door and then rested that hand
on the gun. He had to beat the door twice more before he heard movement inside. His hand curled around the gun as Frank answered the door.

  “What d’ya want?” Frank asked, his eyes drowsy with sleep. Ash drew the gun and pressed it into Frank’s chest.

  “Get inside. Now.”

  “What the fuck is this about?” Frank put his hands up in the air.

  “I think you know damn well what this is about. You think you could hurt my little girl and get away with it?”

  Michelle was walking down the stairs. “Who’s at the door, Frank?” Her mouth fell open in an expression of shock as he saw Ash holding the gun to Frank’s chest.

  “Did you know this was going on? Did you know he was beating Taryn?” Ash kept the gun pointed at Frank.

  “N...No,” she stuttered.

  “You’re full of shit. You bathe her and dress her. You knew.”

  Michelle started to cry uncontrollably. Ash turned back to Frank. “What do you have to say for yourself, you piece of shit?”

  Frank laughed. “Are you really going to shoot me with that pea-shooter? Don’t be an idiot.” He swiped it from Ash’s hand and it clattered across the floor. He dived on Ash, knocking him off his unsteady feet and down to the floor, where he landed one blow after another.

  “Stop!” Michelle cried. “Frank, let him go! You’ll kill him!”

  “Good! He invaded my home and put a gun to my chest! The cops can’t do a thing to me.”

  As Frank hit his head, Ash could see his stepfather looming over him. “What do you mean, you’re gonna call the cops? You’re my son, and I’m just giving you the discipline you need, you little shit!” Frank lifted him and slammed his head into the floor, and Ash slipped into darkness.

  Michael woke to hear Taryn’s voice. “Daddy, wake up!” She was crying and Michael instinctively opened his eyes.

  “Where’s... Where’s Ash?” Michael asked groggily. He was aware of sunlight shining in the window.

  “Uncle Ash is gone!”