What the Heart Desires (Contemporary Erotic Romance)

by Adderly, Allora

  “Well what is it?” Felix pressed, looking concerned.

  “I accepted a job offer,” Kimberly told him. “It’s in a forensics lab…it’s the sort of career I’ve always dreamed about. I’ll need some specialized training but the employer is going to pay for me to take night classes. And the pay is really good. And there’s a benefits package. It’s perfect.”

  Felix’s face lit up. “That’s fantastic!” he exclaimed, all set to congratulate her. Then he remembered how upset she was. He wasn’t stupid; he knew there was more to it than that. “What’s the catch?” he asked, looking somber.

  “The catch,” Kimberly sniffled, “is that the job is 300 miles away. I applied on a whim – I didn’t think I’d ever get the position. But then I did. It was too good of an offer to pass up…but I don’t want to leave you!”

  Felix lowered his head. “I can’t leave,” he said regretfully. “I’m on track to get a full-time tenured position at the university in a couple years. The head of the department hinted I’m pretty much a shoo-in just as soon as I have some experience under my belt. Normally this sort of opportunity wouldn’t come along for years, but there’s going to be an opening due to Professor Stevens retiring... I’ve worked so hard for this, Kimberly.”

  “I’d never ask you to leave,” Kimberly interjected quickly. She knew how important Felix’s career aspirations were to him. “But I can’t stay...” She’d promised herself she wouldn’t lose her composure, but she couldn’t help it. She broke down sobbing.

  “Hey,” Felix protested, hurrying over to Kimberly to envelope her in a hug. “Don’t cry. We’ll figure it out, I promise. We’ll call each other every night and I’ll come visit you as often as I can.”

  Kimberly looked up at Felix in surprise with tears still streaming down her face. “You mean you’re not going to break up with me?”

  “What?” Felix sounded as shocked as Kimberly felt. “You didn’t actually think I’d break up with you over this, did you?”

  Feeling sheepish, Kimberly studied her feet, noting that there was a tiny hole in the toe of her left sock. “I figured there was no way you’d want to be in a long distance relationship,” she admitted.

  After Will had dumped her back in high school for not putting out, she’d assumed that’s what happened – piss your boyfriend off and he gets rid of you. Maybe it was a juvenile view of relationships, but Kimberly had just taken for granted that that’s the way it was.

  Felix hugged her tighter. “It’s not an ideal situation,” he conceded, “but we can make it work. I care about you a lot, Kimberly. I’m not going to walk away just because you decided to follow your dreams.”

  Felix paused and cleared his throat. Then he continued.

  “The six months we’ve been dating have been some of the happiest of my life,” he told her, his voice quiet. “I don’t know about you but for me, this isn’t just a fling. I’m in this for the long run. You’re the person I want to be with.”

  Maybe his words were a bit corny, but they made Kimberly feel like she was the leading lady in a romantic movie. She felt her heart flutter. Commitment: wasn’t it what every girl dreamed about?

  The pizza was good. The rest of the night was even better.

  Maybe it was Felix’s proclamation that he had no intention of leaving her. Maybe it was the knowledge that soon Kimberly would be moving and hundreds of miles would separate them. Whatever it was, the mood was right.

  As she watched Felix dry the dishes after dinner, Kimberly could only think about one thing. When Felix glanced up and their eyes locked, she knew he was thinking about it too.

  Hand-in-hand, they walked to the bedroom.

  Kimberly was idealistic but she wasn’t irrational. She expected that the first time she had sex, there would inevitably be a little awkwardness. She also knew that Felix wasn’t particularly experienced himself, having had only one serious girlfriend before her.

  She was pleasantly surprised by the sex.

  Felix laid her down on the bed, as gentle and considerate as ever. He spent a long while kissing her, tenderly at first and then deeper as their mutual excitement grew.

  Finally, Kimberly couldn’t stand it any longer. She reached for Felix’s belt buckle and unfastened it to let him know what she wanted. He took the hint, helping her strip him of his pants, still kissing her all the while.

  His hands slid underneath her top, timidly at first and then, when she didn’t protest, his exploration became more intimate. Kimberly’s nipples sprung to life as Felix’s fingers grazed across them. She loved the sensation of his hands on her sensitive flesh.

  Felix only stopped to fish his wallet out of his pants pocket. There, at the back, was a single condom just waiting to be used. He opened the wrapper eagerly and slid the rubber onto what Kimberly considered to be a rather impressive erection.

  Then he turned his attention back to Kimberly.

  When Felix slid her pants off, she felt a warm flush spread across her entire body.

  This was it. All that stood between her and Felix was a flimsy pair of pink cotton panties. Conflicting emotions washed over Kimberly. She was excited, nervous, aroused and embarrassed all at once.

  Of course, she’d known that getting naked was a part of having sex, but for a virgin to actually be naked in front of a man for the first time was unnerving! All of a sudden she felt unbearably self-conscious about her body.

  Kimberly reached over and switched off the bedside lamp so that she and Felix were shrouded in darkness. He didn’t protest.

  She was already wet. The anticipation of what she knew was to come had caused her juices to flow freely. When Felix slid her panties down and touched her there, Kimberly nearly jumped out of her skin.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, pausing.

  “Yes…yes,” she said, her voice nothing more than a whisper. She spread her legs wider and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his fingertips rubbing lightly across her smooth sex lips.

  When Felix’s fingertip brushed against Kimberly’s swollen button, she nearly screamed. She’d always been sensitive there but to have someone else touch that private place was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. The sensation was nearly overwhelming.

  Kimberly was so wet that she was sure the sheets beneath her must be damp already. Her need wasn’t lost on Felix. He climbed between her spread thighs, his erection resting against the split peach of her very wet and very ready sex.

  “You’re sure about this?” he murmured, kissing her earlobe even as he spoke. It was so like Felix, to take such pains to confirm her wishes. Part of Kimberly wished he’d stop being so careful and just take her, but another part of her – the nervous virgin part of her – appreciated him being so considerate.

  “I’m sure.”

  As Felix began to slide himself inside her, Kimberly bit her lip. She could tell when he reached her hymen, the thin membrane temporarily preventing him from penetrating her any deeper.

  Kimberly braced herself. Felix must have felt it, because he regretfully whispered “I’m sorry” before pressing forward.

  When her hymen was broken, Kimberly let out an audible gasp. It felt like a sharp pinch, but in all honesty it wasn’t as painful as she’d feared it might be. Almost as quickly as the sensation registered in her brain, it began to subside. And that was it. Her virginity was gone.

  After he’d penetrated her, Felix held perfectly still inside her. He stroked her hair, occasionally whispering words of encouragement and comfort. Kimberly knew it must be taking every ounce of willpower he had to do that and appreciated the gesture.

  All sorts of thoughts were racing through Kimberly’s mind. Her mind was filled with everything and nothing all at once.

  Then Felix’s hand stroked her breast and all Kimberly could think about was pleasure.

  She began to move her hips, a silent cue to Felix that she was ready. Kimberly wrapped her arms around his neck and he moved in time with her, a slow, rhythmi
c horizontal dance.

  He felt so good inside her. The sensation of fullness was amazing and only served to elevate her arousal. She felt such a range of emotions that all she could do was close her eyes and let her mind go blank.

  Her clitoris pulsated with yearning.

  Kimberly had read that only a small percentage of women are able to reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation. As good as the sex felt, she didn’t think she’d be able to climax from the penetration alone. Thankfully, just then Felix reached between their bodies and began to rub her engorged button.

  “Oh!” she gasped, caught off guard by the delicious sensations assaulting her senses.

  “You like that?” Felix whispered, continuing his manipulation of her aroused clitoris.

  “Yes!”

  As though they had a mind of their own, Kimberly’s hips gyrated sensuously. Her breathing was shallow and her heart was pounding with excitement. Her nipples were rock hard, brushing against Felix’s bare chest every time either of them moved.

  Suddenly Felix inhaled sharply and stopped moving. It took Kimberly a moment to realize he was ejaculating.

  A moment later, he exhaled forcefully and pulled his softening member out of her.

  “I was hoping to wait until you were finished,” he said sheepishly.

  “That’s okay,” Kimberly reassured him, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the insistent tingling in her loins.

  She couldn’t contain her smile when Felix pulled her close. “Come here,” he whispered, attentive as always. “It’s your turn.”

  Kimberly should have known Felix wouldn’t just roll over and go to sleep after he’d climaxed. He was far too considerate to do that. He’d make sure she was taken care of first.

  Now positioned on her side, Kimberly felt her nipples stiffen as Felix pulled her body back against his. His hand crept between her thighs and then, once again, he was rubbing her swollen bud.

  His touch was light but his movements were rapid. His fingertips, slipper with her juices, moved over the tender nub with purpose. It didn’t take long at all for Kimberly’s body to respond. It started with the familiar butterflies in the pit of her belly and quickly escalated to a full-blown climax.

  “Ah!” Kimberly grunted, her entire body feeling like it was on fire. Felix continued to touch her, prolonging her orgasm, until finally she couldn’t take it any longer and pushed his hand away.

  “Are you okay?” Felix asked once she’d begun to recover.

  Kimberly smiled. “Never better,” she replied.

  Chapter Six

  After their first night together, sleepovers became common. There was nothing Kimberly liked more than falling asleep in another person’s arms. It was what she’d been missing and it gave her an indescribable sense of peace and wellbeing.

  She would have liked to spend all her free time in bed with Felix, but life got in the way. She had to spend the bulk of her free time packing, showing her condo to prospective buyers and making preparations for her new life hundreds of miles away.

  While Kimberly was looking forward to embarking on her new career, she dreaded leaving Felix. She’d miss their routines. Grocery shopping alone would be strange now that she’d become accustomed to doing it with Felix by her side.

  Kimberly nonetheless tried to be optimistic. She reassured herself that she and Felix would find new routines, and she promised herself she’d take every possible opportunity to visit him. Now, more than ever, she was committed to making their relationship work.

  Regardless of Kimberly’s attempts to be optimistic, her last night in town was a difficult one. She stayed over at Felix’s and found herself overcome with emotion as they got ready for bed.

  “I’m going to miss you so much,” she told him as they climbed under the covers.

  Felix kissed her. “I’ll miss you too,” he said, “but it’s not as though we’ll never see each other again. I’ll have some free time at the end of the semester and I plan on spending every moment of it with you in the city.”

  “You promise you’ll visit lots?”

  “Every chance I get,” he assured her. “Actually,” he said, leaning over and rummaging through the top drawer of his nightstand, “that reminds me…I have something for you.”

  Kimberly was stunned when he pulled a small velvet jewelry box out of the drawer. “You’re not proposing to me, are you?” she blurted out before she could stop herself. Then she immediately cringed because oh God, what if he was?

  Felix grinned. “Not yet,” he said pointedly. “But it is a ring.” He opened the box to reveal a small silver band with a modest diamond. “It’s a promise ring,” he explained. “It might be kind of old fashioned and geeky, but I thought it’s kind of symbolic and –”

  Kimberly cut him off with a kiss. “It’s not geeky,” she reassured him. “I love it.”

  ~~~

  The young couple planned a romantic dinner at Felix’s place the night before Kimberly was to leave. She looked forward to it all day even though she knew it would be bittersweet. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t goodbye. They’d still see each other often and talk every night. It would be okay.

  Except mid-afternoon, Felix called.

  Kimberly could tell immediately that he was ill. He sounded tired and completely spent. He confided that he’d been up all night with the flu. He desperately wanted to spend the evening with Kimberly, but he was worried he was contagious. The last thing he wanted was to make her sick right before she moved.

  Reluctantly, Kimberly told Felix he’d better go to bed and rest. She was disappointed at not getting to see him, but his health was more important to her than a romantic evening together. Besides, he was right – she didn’t want to catch his germs.

  After they hung up, she walked around her apartment listlessly. It was pretty much empty; she’d packed up most of her stuff and arranged for a moving service to pick it up. The movers were to meet her at her new place in the city the following afternoon.

  Her fridge, too, was empty. In fact, she’d already unplugged it to let the freezer defrost.

  Her stomach rumbled. She briefly considered ordering in, but she decided she couldn’t bear to be alone for the entire evening. It would make her miss her boyfriend way too much. No, she needed to be around other people.

  Jane, unfortunately, was away at her sister’s wedding. She’d deviously announced that she had plans to hook up with every single one of the groomsmen provided they were hot and single. Kimberly had only been able to laugh – at least Jane had some standards!

  On a whim, Kimberly decided to go back to the Thai restaurant she and Felix had tried out. It wasn’t too far from her place and the food there really had been delicious. She figured she could sit at the bar and, even though she was there alone, it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe she could visit with the bartender or watch whatever was playing on the television in the corner.

  The restaurant was moderately busy when Kimberly got there. She quickly made her way to the bar, asked for a glass of water and began thumbing through a menu.

  “You again,” a deep, masculine voice said.

  Kimberly looked up. Seated a few barstools away was the stranger who’d helped her and Felix order the first time they’d been there. Just like last time, he was seated at the bar with a drink in his hand. Judging from his slightly disheveled appearance, it wasn’t his first drink.

  “Hi,” Kimberly replied, surprised to see him. It was a strange, but convenient coincidence. “I’m glad I ran into you,” she told him, “because I need help ordering again!”

  The stranger smiled and moved to the seat beside Kimberly. He took a swig of his drink and then pulled the menu from her hand. “You don’t need this,” he said, tossing it aside without a second thought. “Just leave it to me.”

  Kimberly wasn’t used to letting someone take the reins like that. After being on her own so long, she’d learned to be independent and self-sufficient. Even now that she was with Felix
, their relationship was equal in every way. To let the stranger order for her yet again was an odd feeling, but she was content to sit back and let him take charge.

  “Don’t disappoint me!” she teased as he motioned for a server to come over and take their order. She didn’t miss the way the server hustled over, as though being summoned by a VIP. It made Kimberly curious about the stranger.

  “Never,” he grinned. “You’re not allergic to shellfish, are you?”

  “No,” Kimberly replied, surprised that he remembered such a minute detail.

  “Good. I thought it was your husband who was allergic but couldn’t remember for sure.”

  “He’s not my husband,” Kimberly corrected him quickly. Then she blushed, embarrassed and puzzled by her kneejerk reaction. What did it matter if the stranger thought Felix was her husband? Why was it so important to her that the record be set straight?

  “Well okay,” the stranger conceded with an amused smirk. “Not-Husband is missing out because the shellfish here is the best in the country.”

  ~~~

  The food was to die for. The shellfish, especially, made Kimberly salivate. She and the stranger dug into a plate of seafood Pad Thai. She ate voraciously, like she’d been on a week-long fast. He laughed at her as she closed her eyes and savored the flavors before shoveling more food into her mouth.

  He did the same, although he seemed more interested in watching her enjoy the food than eating it himself.

  The stranger ordered them a round of drinks and led the conversation. She found in addition to being vulgar and an excellent food connoisseur, he was also a born storyteller and natural comedian. His ridiculous, inappropriate jokes and stories had doubled over with laughter.

  Halfway through the meal, Kimberly caught the stranger’s eye. He gave her a wink that was so subtle she half-wondered if she’d imagined it. “We’ve been sitting here for close to an hour and I don’t even know your name,” she told him, her face feeling warm either from the alcohol or from his attention.

  “Well in that case, I think it’s only fitting we introduce ourselves,” he replied, extending his hand. “I’m Garrett Strong.”