Surrendered

by Monica James

  When her eyes meet mine, I prepare for a scowl, but it never comes. Instead, I get sweet, innocent eyes and a small smile.

  WTF?

  “Hello, Ava,” she says softly. “Thank you for coming.”

  “It’s okay,” I reply, totally stunned she’s talking to me without it involving the words, ‘get out of my room, you dirty whore!’

  Jasper lets go of my hand and takes a seat on the bed, leaning forward and kissing his mom’s forehead.

  “How you feeling today?” he asks kindly.

  Danielle shrugs. “Okay. Better once they let me out of here.”

  Jasper nods. “I know, Mom. The doc said you’re making progress and should be out real soon,” he says positively.

  Danielle nods, and peers back at the TV lucidly.

  Looking at the way he’s taking care of his mom is simply beautiful. Jasper would be a wonderful father and that thought kills me.

  Feeling stupid just standing there, I quietly take a seat on the green plastic chair by her bedside. The movement snaps her out of her daze and she turns to looks at me.

  Her hair spills lose from her lopsided ponytail, but she doesn’t attempt to tie it back. She just stares at me for a long while with dilated pupils and a creepy serial killer grin.

  “Ava, I was horrible to you. Downright mean. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  I fight the urge to wiggle my finger in my ear, because surely I haven’t heard her correctly.

  Jasper looks at me with a big, beaming smile.

  My mouth is agape and I try desperately for the right words, but all I can manage to squeak out is, “Okay.”

  I’ve never seen Jasper this happy before and therefore, I’m happy.

  I think.

  “Thank you, Ava, your forgiveness means a lot to me,” she says, smiling creepily.

  I nod with a stiff upper lip. “Sure.”

  I don’t think the grin will ever be wiped off Jasper’s face and he leans down, embracing his mom into a big hug.

  As Danielle looks over his shoulder, still in his arms, she looks at me and if I blinked, I would have missed it. But there’s no missing the split second where her face turned from sweet to sinister, all in the span of a nanosecond.

  Before I know it, it’s gone.

  Jasper pulls away and holds out his hand, encouraging me to come sit near him. I gingerly take it, and as Jasper and Danielle chat about random topics, I tune out.

  I revisit that look and have a sinking feeling I’m being played.

  What is Danielle up to now?

  How the hell can I burst Jasper’s bubble?

  That’s right, I can’t.

  I can’t just say, ‘Jasper, your mom is up to something.’ I mean, what proof do I have? A misconstrued look, that’s all.

  What if the meds are throwing her nerves off and she just had a nervous tick?

  I bet that’s what it was.

  Lame, Ava, lame.

  “Ava, what’s the matter with you?” V asks while tattooing a love heart on a young girl’s foot.

  “Huh? Sorry, what? I spaced,” I admit, turning to look at her.

  “Duh!” she replies, the tattoo gun buzzing to life.

  “What did you say?” I ask, fidgeting on the sofa.

  “Don’t worry about it, it’s not important. What you were thinking about obviously is, so spill.”

  I shrug. “I was thinking about my visit with Jasper’s mom,” I confess, scrunching up my face.

  “What about it?” V asks, shading in her tattoo.

  I watch her handiwork, mesmerized by the needle and space… again.

  Only when V clears her throat do I reply, “V, she looked at me, and I swear, it wasn’t good. She’s hiding something. I don’t buy her whole ‘let bygones be bygones’ speech.”

  “What do you think it is?” she asks.

  “I don’t know, but I know when I do find out, I’m not going to like it.”

  “Are you sure you’re not just reading into things? You know how much you like to overanalyze. I mean, the way you were talking, it sounded like she could be an extra for One Flew over The Cuckoo’s Nest. I doubt she’s in any shape to be planning your demise,” V says, dipping her needle into an ink pot.

  “I don’t know. I just don’t trust her,” I admit, shivering when I think about the look she gave me.

  V shrugs. “I don’t blame you, but give her a go. Seeing as you haven’t told Jasper about the pregnancy, the least you can do is cut him some slack with his mom.”

  She’s right again. I feel absolutely awful for not telling him—I owe him this.

  “I know, you’re right.”

  She grins and tells the pale looking client that she’s done.

  As V cleans up, my phone rings. I glance at the screen. It’s a number I don’t recognize.

  “Hello?”

  “Ava! Why aren’t you at school?”

  I instantly recognize the voice.

  “Because I don’t have class today, Sally.”

  V looks at me, puzzled, and I shrug, just as confused as her.

  “No, silly. Today is the interview for the job at Metropolis,” she clarifies.

  “Oh. That’s today?” I ask, surprised.

  “Yes, didn’t you read the info?” she asks, a little concerned.

  “I did. I just lost track of time.”

  And date, I silently add.

  “Well, you’ve got thirty minutes. Get your butt down here.”

  “Sally,” I say in heavy tone.

  “Ava,” she mimics.

  There is dead silence, and I know she’s probably pacing the classroom, waiting for my answer.

  I instantly feel horrible.

  Sally has been there for me whenever I’ve needed her, and she’s bailed me out of some sticky situations.

  I know me not turning up will look bad on her, so with no other choice, I sigh. “Okay fine, I’ll be there in twenty,” and I hang up.

  “What was that about?” V asks, prepping for her next client.

  “It was Sally, reminding me about the interview for that job at Metropolis,” I reply, standing up.

  “How could you forget something like that?” V asks, staring at me like I’ve sprouted wings.

  “Because I wasn’t going to go. What’s the point? It’s not like I’m going to accept it if I get selected. But I’ll go to the stupid interview, just to humor Sally. I’ll engage in some idle chit chat and then come home to my real life,” I reply sullenly.

  V shakes her head, tearing off her gloves. She stalks over to her bag, which is stowed behind the counter, and pulls out her keys.

  Grabbing my hand, she all but drags me out the front door.

  “Hey, wait. Stop!” I screech. “Where are we going?”

  “I’m taking you to that interview. Kicking and screaming if I have to, but you’re going.”

  “Ava, don’t make me carry you in there,” V threatens from the front seat of her V.W.

  My foot taps restlessly on the floor. “I can’t do this. I’m in a Guns n’ Roses t-shirt for God’s sake! They’ll take one look at me and be like, ‘next!’”

  “But why should that matter? I mean you’re not interested in making an impression, right?” V throws at me.

  I can’t help myself and blow a raspberry at her.

  “Ava!” V reprimands. “Go!” she says, pointing to the building in front of me.

  My school has never looked so big and daunting before.

  With no other choice, I take deep breath. “Fine, I’ll go. Sheesh.”

  V throws her hands up to the heavens. “Finally!”

  Pulling down the visor, I’m hoping to make myself a little more presentable. I yank out my hair and fluff it up, but it’s still bushy, and no matter how many times I try and tame my stubborn flyaways, they just keep on flying!

  Thankfully, V lends me her pink lip-gloss and some eyeliner, so I don’t look too pasty.

  “Lose the te
e. You look like you belong at Ozzfest.”

  “I’m not wearing anything underneath.” I gasp at her suggestion.

  V shrugs and laughs when she sees my mortified expression.

  She unbuckles her seatbelt and removes her black v- neck top.

  “Here, don’t say I never do anything for you,” she says, tossing it into my lap. “I am literally giving you the shirt off my back. I expect some kind of reimbursement, in the shape of Hershey’s Kisses, thank you very much.”

  I love her so much. Seriously, where would I be without her? If it’s Hershey’s Kisses she wants, then Hershey’s Kisses she will get.

  By the boatload.

  I slip on her tee and admit, it looks better than my previous garment.

  “Okay, go,” V says, leaning over me and opening my door. She’s about to boot me out the car when I jump out.

  “Okay, okay. You do realize how bossy you are, right?” I smile, leaning into the car.

  V pokes her tongue out and I playfully flip her off. “Good luck,” she yells, hanging out my door when I’m a few feet away.

  Thanks, I need it.

  “Ava, I’m not going to lie to you, you’re our first pick for this job offer.”

  I hear Thomas Carey talking, but his words don’t sink in.

  First pick?

  Really?

  I’m fiddling with my silver charm bracelet, not able to meet Thomas’ eyes.

  This can’t be happening. This is my dream come true. So why does it feel like a damn nightmare?

  “Ava?” he asks, as I’m all but mute.

  Taking a small breath, I look up at him.

  He’s a handsome man, with sincere hazel eyes and a dimpled smile. I have remained transfixed on that dimple throughout the entire interview, as I can’t help but think about another dimple.

  Because that dimple is the reason why I have to say no.

  “Thomas, thank you so much for this opportunity, I just… I just can’t accept.”

  Ugh, man, that sucked.

  Thomas looks surprised by my response as he slouches in his leather chair.

  “You can’t accept?” he asks, ensuring he has heard me correctly.

  I nod, as I’m scared word vomit might rear its ugly head if I have to elaborate why.

  There’s a lengthy silence and I look out the window, watching the dark rain clouds wrap around the clear sky. And that’s how I feel. I feel as if a darkness has overtaken my light. If only I was so lucky and once the storm cleared for me, everything would become brighter once more.

  Sadly, it just seems to get darker and darker with each corner I turn.

  “I’m extremely disappointed, Ava,” Thomas says in a low voice.

  Yeah, join the club.

  “But this is your decision, and if it’s something you don’t wish to pursue, then so be it.”

  He closes my file and folds his hands over it.

  “Off the record, may I ask why?”

  “Gee, how long do you have?”

  It’s out before I can stop myself.

  Surprisingly, Thomas lets out a loud laugh and leans back, interlacing his fingers behind his neck.

  “Sally told me I would like you, and she wasn’t wrong.”

  With big kind eyes and that damn dimpled smile, I can’t stop myself as I confide in a complete stranger.

  I blame the dimple.

  Forty-five minutes later, I leave Thomas’ office, feeling like I have just left a therapy session. Wow, talk about embarrassing with a capital E.

  I don’t know what possessed me to speak in confidence to Thomas, and spill every single detail of the mess my life is currently in.

  And I mean EVERY single detail.

  “So, how’d it go?” V asks excitedly, pen in hand, completing a Sudoku puzzle.

  Slumping into the car, I snap on my seatbelt.

  “Horrible,” I curtly reply. “Since when are you a mathlete?” I ask, nodding toward the puzzle.

  V throws the book in the backseat. “Ugh, it’s Lucas’, not mine. You took your damn sweet time, I needed something to occupy myself.” She huffs, starting the engine, which splutters to life.

  We pull out of the parking lot and hit peak hour traffic.

  Great! No escaping V and her twenty questions.

  “So,” she asks, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “What happened?”

  Oh God, I feel ill. I have bad heartburn and severe stomach cramps. If I didn’t know better, I would say my period has decided now is a good time to pay me a visit.

  Freakin’ wonderful!

  “Ava!” V says, throwing a brown M&M at me.

  The M&M bounces off my forehead and I turn to glare at V, who is biting back a laugh.

  My mouth twitches as the situation is truly ridiculous.

  I give in and laugh hysterically, snatching the bag of M&M’s out of V’s lap, grabbing a handful and throwing them at her.

  “Hey!” she laughs, her hand flying up to her eye. “That one hit me in the eye!” she says, referring to the airborne blue missile I just threw at her.

  “Serves you right!” I laugh. “You deserve that for making me go to the interview, and FYI, I just divulged all my deepest darkest secrets to a complete stranger.”

  V looks at me, shocked. “You didn’t?”

  “Yup, I did,” I reply, popping M&Ms into my mouth. “And you know what, it felt good.”

  “You didn’t tell him everything, did you?”

  “I sure did. Right down to the sneaking suspicion that Danielle is plotting some evil scheme to take me down.”

  I pale as the words leave my lips.

  Holy shit, what the fuck did I just do?

  I just couldn’t stop. Once I started, it was like I was possessed by some truth demon.

  V indicates to make a right turn, and finally the traffic begins thinning out.

  “Well, he might give you points for being honest,” she says, trying to make me feel better.

  “Yeah, brutally honest, and borderlining on being clinically insane!” I cover my hands over my face and groan. “Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about being top pick anymore,” I reply, shoving handful after handful of candy into my mouth.

  V snatches the bag from me before I drown in M&Ms.

  “You’re top pick?” she asks, giving me a sympathetic look.

  “I was,” I mumble. “Now I’ll be lucky to get a job within a fifty mile radius of Metropolis.”

  Why does that thought depress me? I don’t care.

  Right?

  V drops me home after being stuck in traffic for over an hour. Luckily we had a gallon of M&Ms to keep us entertained.

  I slump onto my bed, exhausted and totally drained. Even after V’s encouraging words, I still feel like shit.

  And to make matters worse, I got my period.

  Not only am I depressed, now I’m depressed and bloated.

  Changing into my torn jeans and a sweater, which looks more like a moo-moo, I decide I need to spend some quality time with a block of chocolate and Zac Efron.

  Just as I’m popping in a DVD, the doorbell chimes.

  I contemplate ignoring it because I have the house to myself, as my parents are out for the evening and I really don’t want company, but as the door chimes again, I fold and answer it.

  I’m greeted by a pair of cerulean eyes and a whole lotta sexiness.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask without thinking.

  “Nice to see you, too.” Jasper smirks, pulling me by my belt loops into his arms.

  “I missed you,” he says, his chin resting on my head as I cuddle into his chest. “That’s as good as an excuse as any.”

  Under normal circumstances, I would be all over that excuse, but not right now. Right now I feel like a bloated balloon, not to mention, I don’t want Jasper to know what I did today.

  “Get dressed,” he says, stepping out of our embrace.

  Gee, I know a look a little casual, but I don’t look
that bad, do I?

  Jasper reads me instantly and laughs. “We’re going out.”

  “We are?” I ask.

  “Yup,” Jasper replies, giving nothing away as he swats me on the butt, while turning me in the direction of the stairs.

  I ascend the first step and spin around. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” he answers ambiguously.

  “Can you give me a hint?” I ask.

  Jasper shakes his head, his messy hair slipping into his eyes. “The longer you take, the longer…” and he leaves the sentence hanging.

  “The longer what?” I press, starting to get a little excited.

  “Go,” he smirks, pointing upstairs, his eyes full of promise.

  I race up the stairs, two at a time, suddenly excited at the possibility that maybe just for tonight, I can pretend that everything is okay.

  “Jasper, where are we going?” I ask, feeling my way around. I am currently blindfolded.

  Thankfully, Jasper’s hands are around my middle, directing me wherever we’re going. About ten minutes ago, Jasper stopped his truck and placed a black bandana over my eyes, telling me that I wasn’t allowed to peek.

  It takes all of my willpower not to rip off the wretched thing and find out where I am.

  “It’s not too far now,” Jasper whispers into my ear.

  I would be a big fat liar if I didn’t admit I liked being blindfolded and having Jasper as my guide. I trust him completely, and all my other senses are on high alert, seeing as my eyes are covered.

  I can feel soft grass squishing under my navy Converse, and I’m pleased I didn’t wear heels. I can also hear wildlife; birds chirping, bugs rustling, mosquitoes buzzing by my face, which I swat away.

  It’s only when we stop do I smell something absolutely mouth-watering, and I’m not talking about Jasper.

  I can smell food.

  I launch forward excitedly, only to remember I can’t see where I’m going. Fortunately, Jasper still has his hands around my waist; otherwise God knows where I would have face planted.

  Jasper laughs, tightening his hold on me. “You’re so impatient, Miss Thompson.”

  “Well, that’s because you’re killing me, Mr. White,” I reply quickly.