Luke steps toward me and grabs my hand. "We have things to sort out too. I can't leave you like this."
I sigh and look back at Leona. "Just let me tell him, okay? In my own time. This is my secret to tell. Not yours."
She nods in agreement and I turn back to Luke. "It's okay.” I kiss his palm. “We can talk later. I'll be on the beach. I'll wait as long as you need."
I feel like we're repeating everything we used to be. We're back in his house in Charlotte. He's telling Jenna that they need to talk. I'm leaving him with her.
I make my way to the beach and feel a sense of closure. I feel like with everything, I could never let him go. No matter what. It's scaring me that soon I'll be telling him I'm pregnant with his child, and have been for months. I don't know how he'll take that, how he'll react. I rub my tiny bump, my motherly instincts kicking in. I love my child. I love it with everything I could possibly be. I won't ever, put myself in any kind of dangerous situation ever again. My child deserves my full attention for all of its life.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I make my way back to the beach and the sun is gently setting over the water. There are a few late surfers still riding the waves. I find a spot on the beach and sit. I pull out my iPhone and my headphones, and Nickelback sing to me. I would sit here for a thousand years if it meant he came back to me. Through all of this, Nathan, Jade, I haven’t done anything I’ve regretted. I’ve remained strong and filled with some kind of purpose. Even though my heart broke with the truth of Jade’s death, I know now it was to protect me from someone who would’ve eventually killed me.
I think back to our date at the Greensboro stadium. The way Luke held me in his arms when he danced with me, and how I felt at that moment. I had never been so happy to fall in love with someone so quickly. He had me from the moment he saw me, and he knew that. He knew he had me forever. I was his everything, and he was mine. Even though he hurt me, both times to protect me, he has to know that I love him now more than ever. And whatever life throws at us, we’ll get through it together.
My skin is still covered in endless white scars, reminding me that at one point I was weak, I was worthless. I had no purpose in my life but to hurt myself and suffer, with my head telling me I was a nothing. Luke saw me. He saw right through me into the pits of my mind. He explored, learning things about me I didn’t even know myself. I feared that day he would see me. But he doesn’t see me the way I see myself. He sees me as a beautiful woman whose heart is filled with love and desire and success. He sees me for everything I wanted to be. I cling onto that now; I cling onto the raw emotion he gives me. Yeah, he’s been through enough himself, we all have. But he saw me. My iPhone starts to ring in my hand and Luke’s name appears on the screen. I slide my finger along the green answer bar. “Hi,” I whisper into the handset, and close my eyes.
“Hi,” he whispers back. “Look behind you.”
I turn to see Luke standing behind me with a bottle of wine and two plastic solo cups in his hand. I stand up and walk towards him. He puts the wine and the cups down next to him and holds his hand out to me. I pull out my headphones and shove them in my pocket with my phone. I slide my hand into his as I approach him and he pulls me into an embrace. We stand in silence, just holding onto each other for the longest time, before he pulls away.
“Let’s talk, okay?”
I nod, and he sits down on the sand. I sit next to him and he unscrews the wine and pours for us both.
He sits with his legs slightly stretched out and his arms resting on them. He takes a sip of wine and breathes in deeply.
“There is something I need to tell you. Something I should’ve told you when I found out.” He swallows and drops his head.
“Okay.” I rub my hand over his shoulder.
“Don’t.” He shrugs off my hand. “Sorry, I just… I’m still so raw over this.” He drinks the rest of his wine and offers me more. I shake my head and put my cup down next to me. I haven’t had one sip.
“My mom. She’s…. she’s not dead, Ella. God, she’s been alive all this time. I found out just after Christmas, after we got back to New York. She was hiding from my father, or so she says. She faked having cancer and left. My dad tells me this was all to keep my sister and I convinced she was dead. He was in on it. She came to my office and told me everything. But Ella, you have to understand.” He turns to face me and wipes away the tears falling down my cheeks. I hadn’t even realised. “I wanted to come to you. All I wanted was to see you and tell you and have your comfort. As I found out, Leona came to the office and started accusing me of sleeping with you. I asked Reese to leave, that’s my mom’s name, and told her to never come back. She hasn’t since. But she’s alive. She left Izzy and me to look after ourselves, and with a supposed dangerous man. I didn’t believe for one minute my father was dangerous, so I called him. Told him she had come to me. He told me she was the dangerous one. Not my father. I could never believe her after she left us. How could I? She told me she saw me in TIME magazine, and saw how successful I’ve become.”
I scoff. “She was after your money, right?”
He sniffs. “Right. So she left us, because my father asked her to leave. They both agreed on saying she had cancer to stop us from finding her later on in life. So she broke her own promise with my father to ask me for money. She has nothing herself. My dad stopped helping her when she threatened him again. I really needed you then. I could never forgive myself for ignoring you at that point. Especially after Jade. After everything that happened at Christmas. You’re my whole life. I can’t be without you again.” I kiss his mouth softly, and wine is glazed upon his lips. He smiles gently and tucks some hair behind my ear. “I’m more in love with you now than I ever have been. It’s always been you, Ella. Always. You know that.” He stands up and wipes his tears away. “Here I am. I’m here, and I want you. I will always want you. You are the sunshine to my life, baby. Without you I’m a nothing. I will always be a nothing. Money - fuck it, fuck it all. Money can’t give me you. It can’t give me that girl, that girl who walked into me in that school corridor, and taught me to love myself as well as someone else. Leona, she was an easy target for me. She was just there, she helped me explore and try to open up. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t open up. I need that girl back. She was the reason I am who I am.” He places his hands on my cheeks. “I need you.”
He kisses my lips softly.
I need to tell him.
My little baby. Our little baby.
He pulls back and searches my eyes. “Ella,” he whispers. “Please say something.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Luke swallows. He stands and moves backwards, away from me. Away from us.
“Is it… is it mine?” he stutters, and puts his hands on his head.
Oh God, he’s going to leave me.
I stand and stumble toward him. “Of course it’s yours.”
“Fuck, Ella! Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you talk to me? Jesus, woman!” Luke paces for a moment, then his hands wrap around my waist. He drops to his knees slowly in front of me. “Hi,” he whispers into my little bump. “I’m your daddy.”
My eyes fill up with tears and I let them out. I cry because he loves me. I cry because he wants our child. I cry because I’m happy. I put my hand on his head, stroking his soft hair, and memorizing this moment in our lives.
He stands and pulls me into his arms. They snake around me, cradling me in the comfort of him, of us. He holds me for what feels like an eternity, our breathing all that can be heard.
“Your heart’s beating so fast,” he whispers into my hair.
“So is yours,” I whisper back, and increase my hold.
He pulls back gently and scans my eyes. “We’re going to be happy, Ellie. We’re going to have the best life, I promise you. I’ll do anything I can to make you and my child happy. I promise, baby, okay? I promise.”
His kiss is warm, welcoming. His lips caress mine in that tantric mo
ment we used to share. This kiss is safe, without any unwelcome, without hurting anyone. His tongue meets mine and they entangle, twisting and licking in soft, erotic strokes.
I give in and give him all of me. All of me and all of my life is his.
His hands search me softly, leaving goose bumps in their wake. His fingers gently stroke across my bump and he lets my lips go. “I can’t believe that’s our baby in there. That’s just so crazy. Half of me, and half of you. Best. Baby. Ever.” He kisses me again, lifts me into his arms, and swings me around.
I laugh out loud and gently rain kisses on his face. “I love you.”
“God, I love you too, baby, so much.” Our kisses are back, our kisses I’ve wanted back since that summer. Our kisses that mean the world to each other, that only we could ever understand.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Four Months Later
The air is cold, and I wrap my arms around myself and bury in closer to Luke. His arms grow tighter around me as we walk toward a place I remember all too vividly.
“What are we doing here? It’s bad memories for us.”
He laughs. “It’s not a bad memory. Not at all. You know why? Because when I broke up with you, right here under this bridge, I changed my life. If I hadn’t done that, do you think we’d be at this point in our lives? Do you think I’d love you as much as I do? You’re my future, Ella.” He hugs me for the longest time, and I barely notice when a guitar begins to play.
I turn my head and he abruptly turns me back and matches our lips. I fall into his kiss, and curiosity lands heavily on my mind. I pull away gently, breathless.
“Hi,” he whispers, and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“Hi,” I whisper back, and I know what’s happening. I won’t ruin this for him.
“Follow me, baby.” He entangles our fingers and leads me under the bridge, the bridge I spent half my childhood dreaming under. As we enter, he’s copied what he did before, but it’s much more detailed. White rose petals dance along the floor, and are scattered onto the floating river, gently hovering on its surface. Fairy lights light the dark space and make it seem like such a happy place. I put my hand on my bump and caress it as our baby kicks me gently. The emotion bubbles up; I can’t help it, and it explodes through my body making it almost impossible to keep a straight face.
“Baby, Ella, Ellie,” Luke whispers, and I turn to face him, my breaths scattered and different. “Hi.”
I let out a light laugh. “This is beautiful.” I run my fingers along the wall, picking up a white rose as I do.
“Ella.” Luke coughs. He’s nervous. “I love you more than anything I could ever imagine.”
“I love you too.”
He smiles. “Please sit down with me?” He leads me to the bench, my bench, and I pat down my dress and sniff at my unbidden emotion. He takes my hand, puts it on his lap, and holds it tightly. A song comes on and I jump slightly in my seat as it starts to play. It’s Savage Garden’s I Knew I Loved You.
I giggle, and Luke holds my hand tighter. A video starts to play in front of me. My spare hand covers my mouth as I watch myself half naked in my bed. Luke’s filming me. Words come on the screen.
‘You’re so beautiful, even when you sleep in until ridiculous o’clock.’
That’s it. I’m crying. The film shows Luke’s fingers tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear, and I obviously moan, because I flip him the bird.
‘You’re so beautiful, even when you flip me the bird and call me names.’
The frame changes to me drinking coffee.
‘But it’s okay. Because you love the coffee I make you, and that’s fine.’
I laugh through tears, and Luke holds my hand tighter. We both ignore the sweat growing between our palms. I watch as I realize how much of us he’s actually filmed.
He’s kissing me now, and watching us on a screen feels so intimate. The connection we have is so visible, so noticeable.
‘You sometimes taste so much of gummy bears it scares me. I think you have a problem.’
I laugh.
‘But it’s always delicious to me. You’re my gummy bear.’
I’m laughing on the screen. I smile at myself. I can finally see who he loves. It’s me he loves. Me he cares for.
The film of us ends, and a black screen appears. White italic words takeover.
The song changes to Jose Gonzales. Our song. Heartbeats.
‘Love.
It’s a funny word, isn’t it?
It makes use believe in the joy of it, the promise of it.
I believe in it.
I didn’t, baby.
I really didn’t. But then you came back to me.
You came back to the promise of me, and you didn’t give up. You fought for us.
You forget how we met. We bumped.
We bumped in a high school corridor. How stupid is that?
I wish I’d have treated you better, like the Princess you deserve to be.
Right now, I know you’re crying. You’re feeling such happiness it’s making you cry.
Look at me.
I look at him, and his hand takes my cheek. He kisses my tear stained lips softly. He tells me to look back at the screen.
I, Luke James, promise to love, and promise my life to Ella Hope Stone.
She’s the reason for my wrongs. She’s the reason for my rights.
She makes me a better man.
Remember at the lake? We made out on the hood of your car.
Even then, I knew, I had to have you forever.
You were so broken, but look at you now. Look at who you are.
You are carrying my child, the second love of my life, and she is growing inside you.
You are incredible.
You are everything to me.
You are the strength of me.
The optimal of me.
It’s fine.
And I’m okay with that.
Luke brushes my tears away with his thumbs and calms me down by shushing me. “Hey, baby,” he whispers, and his smile becomes him. “I have a pretty important thing to ask now.”
I laugh, but I’m ridiculously emotional. I love this man with all my being and I could never be without him now. This is it.
He stands from his seat and kneels down on one knee in front of me. I laugh nervously again, and he gives me a smile from the corner of his mouth.
“Ella Hope Stone. You have become me. I am you. You are I. We are one, baby. Today, I would like to ask you a question, as this question has been on my mind, only for you, for six years. Baby, I love you.” His head drops to my lap, and I lift it with my hands, cupping his cheeks. I brush away his tears, his eyes now a piercing green. He sniffs. “I love you, Ella. Will you marry me?”
“Yes. For always and forever, I love you-” Before I can say anything else I’m in his arms, and applause sounds all around us. I kiss him with all I have before I look at who is clapping for us. My family and Luke’s family are at both ends of the bridge, cheering for us. My sister holds my niece, and she looks me dead in the eye. She waves at me. I smile at her sweetly and Luke lowers me back to the floor. Bump is crazy kicking now, and I groan.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asks.
“Nothing. Baby’s just kicking me, pretty hard too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I lift his hand to my small, ever-growing bump.
“Wow. That’s incredible.” He bends down in front of me and whispers to my tummy, “Hey, baby. I love you.” He kisses it through my coat.
“Will you marry me right now, Ms. Stone?” Luke asks, and I search his eyes, for what he’s promising me. “Will you?” He holds his hand out for me. I take it. “Everyone’s here for it. Are you ready?”
“Always.”
The End
EPILOGUE
Seven Years Later
The lake at the back of our house looks so beautiful right now. The moonlight is hitting it, causing the water to shine.
I stare out of my kitchen window. The adult in me is telling me to ignore the voices at the back of my head telling me to jump in. I drop the plate I was cleaning in the sink.
The kids are asleep. Luke is in his office, working.
I unbutton my flannel shirt and it falls from my shoulders. I slip out of my Converse, and I only have my skinny stonewashed jeans and bra left on.
Fuck it.
We should be spontaneous. Life is once; why the hell not? I walk/run to Luke's office. As I reach his doorway I see he has his headphones in and he’s tapping away on his keyboard.
I walk toward him and slam down his laptop screen. He looks at me with annoyance, but as he really looks at me, desire fills his stare.
He slowly pulls out his earphones and stands. He walks slowly, seductively. My name leaves his lips in a soft whisper, and his hands ghost my jaw. His soft mouth meets mine and he unbuttons my jeans.
"No," I whisper. He looks at me, confused. "Follow me."
His fingers entwine with mine and I lead him outside. My bare feet become wet as we walk on the grass. He lifts me and places me down on the short pier we have at the lake. He kisses me again, this time more harsh and seductive. I start to giggle and undo my jeans properly. I pull them from my legs and adjust my panties.
I lean up to Luke's ear. "Live with me," I whisper, and jump into the cold water. I come to the surface with a gasp.
It's freezing and makes me almost instantly regret it. Luke strips his shirt from his shoulders and unbuttons his pants. He jumps in after me, laughing as he does. I can never get enough of his laugh. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me in the water. I kiss him and wrap my legs around his waist. He pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. I trace his tan shoulders with my fingers, and up to his jaw.
"Always and forever," he says gruffly against my lips.
"Always and forever," I whisper back. "You promised."
Always and Forever (Always #2) Page 14