Getting off the couch, Kayla met her father in their small kitchen and shook her head when she saw the sack he was holding. “Taco Nacho again? Oh, Daed.”
He almost looked embarrassed. “Sorry, but you know how gut these tacos are.”
“I know they’re good, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to eat fast-food tacos all the time. Honestly, Daed. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a wall.”
“Come now. I’m far more personable than any old wall.”
“This is true.” Knowing that it did no good to fuss at him, she dug into the distinctive red-and-green sack. “You got me a fajita bowl.”
“I knew you’d be pleased.”
“I am. Danke.”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her brow. “I may be a fast-food junkie, but I’m not completely oblivious.”
“You’re not oblivious about a lot of things.”
His blue eyes softened, but he didn’t say anything. Walking to the sink, he scrubbed his hands. Her father was working over at an RV factory in Millersburg. Every morning a driver hired by the company stopped at the end of their street, and her father ran out to meet the passenger van just like he was a boy trying to catch the bus. Every evening, it dropped him off, and he would slowly walk back to their place, unless he got off earlier and went to the store or Taco Nacho.
But there were also many days when he didn’t feel up to working. On those days, he would use their kitchen phone and call in to work, making up a handful of excuses about why he wasn’t able to go. On his worst days, he simply didn’t get out of bed.
Mr. Edmonds, his boss, was a kind man. And a good one, too. So far he kept Kayla’s dad on the payroll, which was a blessing. He never, however, gave her father a raise or a bonus and had said he wouldn’t until Jay Kauffman went to work every day for six months.
Kayla didn’t know if that would ever happen.
So, her father had a good enough job, and that was always good enough… if she didn’t remember how he used to be before her mom died.
Their life had been so different before Mamm had gotten sick and Kayla had been burdened with her father’s failings. That period of time had been so hard, but she’d had Levi to lean on and a future with him to look forward to. But then one day, just after the first anniversary of her mother’s death, Levi broke things off with her, saying she simply wasn’t worth the problems that she carried on her shoulders. His departure had changed her, too. Now Kayla just tried to get through each day and did her best to forget about the person she used to be three years ago.
That girl studied for the GED just because she’d known she was very smart. That girl had been giggling and fun and full of plans for her future with the cutest boy she knew.
But the Lord had other plans for her. For some reason, He’d decided that her mother needed to get a terrible, invasive cancer that took her life in five months. That her father would sink into a depression that he couldn’t seem to pull out of. And that all her dreams would be smothered under too many responsibilities.
“How was your day?” he asked as he continued to scrub.
“It was gut.”
“Anything new?”
“Jah.” She paused, then decided to tell him about Aaron. “I got a new student to tutor today.”
He turned off the faucet. “That’s gut news. So, what’s the story. Is it a boy or girl? Amish or English?”
“This time it’s not a child. He’s a grown man. And, he’s Amish.”
“Really? Who is it? Anyone I know?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. He’s Old Order. I don’t think I should tell you his name though.”
He turned to look at her. “Why not?”
“He’s trying to keep his lessons a secret. Since he’s paying me, I think I should honor that wish.”
“Why? How old is he?”
“Around my age. I’d say he was twenty or so.”
“That old?” A line formed in between his brows. “Why is he wasting his time and money getting tutored? He should be working.”
“He is.”
“Then what does an Amish boy-almost-man need to be tutored in?”
“He’s secretly studying for the GED.”
A slow smile lit his face. “Secretly, huh? Well, I guess it’s a good thing that you’re his tutor, then. If anyone is good at secrets, it’s you.”
“I guess that’s true.”
He looked at her for a moment before pulling out two plates. “Grab your food, Kay. We might as well eat while it’s hot.”
She neatly placed her fajita bowl on her plate and then started fishing for salsa. “I don’t know what to think of him, honestly,” she said as they walked to the small, two-person table nestled in the corner of the kitchen. “He wasn’t all that friendly.”
“Not everyone is friendly, but that’s okay, I reckon. Don’t forget that you never know what someone else is going through.”
This was a common reminder from him, but like always, she was grateful for it. His words were a small reminder of how far he had come since her mom had gotten sick, been hospitalized, and died, leaving him angry and short-tempered, with a broken heart, a motherless daughter, and more bills than he could afford to pay.
Everything had caught up to him about two months after Mom’s funeral. He’d lost his job, yelled at everyone, and barely took care of her. But then things had gotten better.
Swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, Kayla smiled at him. “You’re right, Dad. That is something for me to remember.”
“I’ve got some more good news for you. I got paid today.” He smiled as he put a check and a stack of cash on the counter. “And, old Mr. Edmonds gave me a little something extra, since I’ve been putting in some overtime.”
“Looks like we’re going to be able to pay rent this month,” she teased. He actually hadn’t missed a payment in more than a year.
He pretended to look affronted. “It’s better than that. I can pay rent and cable and give you a hundred bucks for groceries. You’re going to be able to keep your money.”
Her smile disappeared. They were in this together. “I’ll still give you half.”
“No need. Go to the movies or buy a dress or something.” When she was about to argue again, he shook his head. “I’m okay, Kayla. Now you need to be okay, too. Life still goes on.”
“Thanks, Daed.”
He smiled at her before turning away, embarrassed.
After silently giving thanks for their food, they started eating. Kayla looked through a magazine Aunt Pat had given her that morning. It was an Englischer magazine, of course, chock full of beauty tips and fashion ideas. She read about designer purses and imagined using some of those beauty treatments that were supposed to make a woman look younger, thinner, and happier.
And, for a split second, she felt a little envious.
She looked up to find her father going through his cell phone, even though he wasn’t supposed to have one. She wanted to ask what he was looking at so intently, but she didn’t. Instead, she simply ate and remembered the two years during her rumspringa when she had carried a cell phone with her all the time.
It had been a most addicting contraption. She’d loved looking at people’s posts and tweets and pictures. She’d loved pretending people who wanted to be her friends online actually were her friends in real life. Only when things had gotten so bad had she’d realized that none of those strangers meant anything to her… and that there was little shared online that was real.
Dad threw his trash away. “I’m off to the shower.”
“All right. I’m going to sit here another minute.”
He hesitated, then ran a hand over her hair before walking down the hall to his bedroom.
When she was alone again, she gazed at her father’s abandoned cell phone. For a moment, she wished she had her old phone back and she could text Aaron. Though, what she’d say she had no idea, just something to continue their communication.
Pushing away that fanciful thought, Kayla wiped down the countertops and prepared the percolator for the morning’s coffee. Then, with nothing left for her to do in the kitchen, she went to her own room and sat on the bed.
It was moments like this when she missed the way she used to be. Back when she was in school, she would trade notes with her girlfriends and read them all in her room at night. Sometimes, even Levi would write her something sweet and she’d sleep with his note under her pillow.
Then, too, there were the days when her mother was still alive. Back when Kayla was a teenager, the three of them would sit in front of the fireplace on chilly evenings. Sometimes they’d talk. Sometimes they’d pull out flashlights and read whatever books they’d checked out from the library or play Scrabble. But most of the time, they simply sat together in the quiet. She’d loved that time, so loved her little family of three.
Now? Now, she was busy, busy, busy until she found the solace of her room. But hand in hand with that solace was the knowledge that she had little else, just her books and her dreams that she pushed aside over and over again.
Kayla set one of the romances she had checked out from Sarah Anne’s bookmobile on her lap and tried to look forward to getting lost in the story. But all she seemed to want to do was think about the man she’d met today. The man with dark blond hair, a firm jaw, and enough magnetism to make her feel alive again years after she’d realized that feeling so much was only going to make her hurt inside. Nothing good lasted forever.
five
• RULE #5 •
Pets should not be allowed in the bookmobile. Especially not unaccompanied ones. Or puppies that are teething.
“It’s Friday!” Tiny announced to her family when she entered the kitchen.
As usual, her proclamation didn’t have much of an effect on the other members of her family. Aaron raised his eyebrows but only scooped up another bite of oatmeal. Rebecca smiled at her but seemed more intent on playing with her cereal.
Daed sipped his coffee. “Gut meiyah, maydel. Danke for the reminder about it being Freidawk.”
“No need to be sarcastic, Father.”
He smiled and slathered some jam on his toast.
“Do you want oatmeal, Tiny?” Mamm asked.
“Sure.” Feeling slightly deflated, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee before joining her siblings and father at the large circular table that took up most of the kitchen.
Jack, being Jack, looked up at her and grinned. “Glad you’re pleased to welcome the new day, Tiny. What’s made you so pleased about it?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Do you have big plans for the day?”
“Not really.” At least, not yet.
“Hmm,” Mamm said as she placed a steaming bowl of oatmeal in front of Tiny.
Reaching for the fresh milk, Tiny poured a good amount on top of her oats, then added a generous helping of brown sugar and raisins. As usual, the simple breakfast was hot and filling. Usually she could think of nothing better, especially on such a snowy and cold morning, but now, oatmeal couldn’t compare to the anxiousness she was feeling whenever she thought of Joel.
She couldn’t imagine that anything in the world would. Whenever she thought of him, her palms got sweaty, and her heart felt like it was beating a little bit faster. Was it love? She wasn’t sure about that, but she supposed it could be.
“Your food’s getting cold,” Jack said. “You’d best eat that oatmeal before it turns the consistency of glue.”
Ugh. She hated when that happened. Hastily, she ate a large spoonful.
“Jah, you should eat up, daughter, as fast as you can,” Mamm said. “We’re going to be making some deliveries this afternoon just around the corner.”
Joel’s house! Tiny lifted another spoonful to her mouth.
Her father lifted his eyebrows as she took another bite. “I’ve rarely seen our Tiny eat so much so quickly.” He looked across the kitchen at her mother. “Do you know something we don’t know, Violet?”
“I might,” Mamm said airily.
Tiny felt her stomach churn a bit. Their mother was a lot of things, but evasive wasn’t one of them, which just proved that she knew something. Their mother could neither lie nor keep a secret.
Daed put down his spoon. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense. What do you know that I don’t?”
Her mother played coy. “Hmm. Well, I know that it isn’t supposed to stop snowing until nightfall.”
“That’s it?” Jack asked.
Mamm looked back at her. “What do you think, Tiny?”
“I’m not sure to what you are referring.”
“Well, now we know something is up,” Aaron said. “Tiny always has something to say about everything.”
“Don’t be rude to your sister,” Mamm murmured softly.
Feeling both of her brothers’ gazes on her, Tiny ate her last bite and got to her feet. “I’ll start on the dishes, Mamm.”
Aaron grunted and scooted out of his chair. “Danke for breakfast, Mamm,” he said politely, as he always did.
“Of course, dear Aaron,” Mamm said with soft smile. “Don’t forget your lunch, and please be careful in the weather.”
“I will.” He picked up the small cooler. “Bye all.”
Just as Rebecca waved a hand, Aaron shot a look at Tiny. “Tell Joel hello for me. He’s been around far too little of late.”
“I—I…” Tiny stumbled over her words as Aaron shrugged on his coat and left the house.
Jack and her parents laughed as they put their bowls in the sink.
Perturbed, she turned on the faucet and pulled out the dish soap.
“You didn’t really think you were going to get away with a secret like that, did you?” Jack whispered as he handed her his bowl.
“Maybe,” she grumbled as she took it from him. She’d certainly hoped and prayed she could keep her new development with Joel a secret for at least a little while longer.
Jack laughed again before throwing on his thick coat and heading out to the barn. Her father followed soon after, leaving her with the dishes, Rebecca, and her mother’s sparkling eyes.
Ugh. She loved her family, she truly did. But that didn’t mean she didn’t wish for a little bit of privacy from time to time.
Picking up the scrub brush, she started washing the bottom of the pot.
Her mother, her hands around a steaming cup of fresh coffee, leaned against the counter. “What is going on with you and Joel now, dear?”
Tiny ached to say nothing, to ignore her mother’s question or announce that it wasn’t her business, or even run up to her room so she could keep her news to herself for just a little while longer.
However, there was no point in doing that. Her mother would be mighty hurt, and she couldn’t do that to her. They were too close for that. And besides, Joel was best friends with Aaron, which meant that her brother probably knew more about her relationship than she did.
“Joel mentioned that he would like to come calling one day soon, or that maybe I could even stop by to see him at the shop one day during his lunch hour.”
“Oh my. That is news, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know… but I hope so.” Which was a huge understatement. Joel had been her neighbor her whole life. Back when they were small, they’d all been thick as thieves. She’d practically been one of the boys, playing for hours with Aaron, Jack, and Joel. But then, right around the time she turned fourteen, Joel had begun to ignore her. She’d been crushed—until Aaron had told her he and Jack had told him to stop staring at their little sister. Even Tim, who always acted like his little sister was a baby, had gotten involved, pretty much threatening to beat up Joel if Joel even thought about flirting with her.
Tiny had been so embarrassed and mad. She’d gone to her parents and complained, but to her surprise, her parents had agreed that Tiny was too young to have a beau.
Joel had started avoiding her and even flirted with some of her friends at different gath
erings they all attended. It had been so hard, especially since she soon couldn’t seem to think about anyone else but him.
But then Tim left, their parents had basically shunned him, and Joel reached out to her. She’d clung to his friendship like a lifeline. Little by little, Aaron and Jack had stopped interfering, and her parents even started to sound as if they would allow him to come calling.
But Joel hadn’t seemed to want to do anything but be her friend.
Until lately.
Her mother looked at her for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice was tentative. Very un-Mamm-like. “Tiny, I know you and Joel have been kind of flirting with the idea of having a relationship for quite a long time. Do you really care for him more than Luke Yoder? Luke is such a fine young man.”
“We don’t need to talk about this, Mamm.”
“I don’t mean to embarrass you, but I do want to point out that just because you two have known each other for a long time and Joel is best friends with Aaron… that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow Luke to come calling, too.”
Tiny felt like she needed to grab hold of the sink for stability, she was so surprised. “Multiple men?”
Mamm picked up the rag she’d just dampened and began to gently rub Rebecca’s face with it. “You’re a lovely and talented young woman, dear. If you wanted to maybe think about other boys courting you, that wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
“Mamm, I’m not interested in Luke. I mean, not that much…”
“I like Joel very much, Tiny, but, ah, he isn’t exactly much of a suitor, is he?”
“I think he’s ready now.” She’d been waiting for years for Joel to finally make his move and declare he was ready to court her in earnest. With some dismay, she realized she needed to come to terms with the fact that his waiting could no longer have anything to do with Tim’s threats, her age, or even Jack and Aaron’s friendship. But as doubts began to form in her mind, she wondered if she’d gotten that all wrong. Maybe while she’d been waiting, Joel had been focused on someone else.
“Oh.” Her mother smiled, a broad smile. “Of course. Sometimes I forget how young you both are.”
A Perfect Amish Romance Page 4