“We aren’t young. I’m seventeen.”
“Seventeen isn’t old, dear.”
“I’m old enough to know my mind.”
Just as her mother seemed ready to argue that fact, Rebecca fussed, saving the day.
Her mother frowned. “Goodness, Becca. You are a mess. Yet again.” Hoisting Tiny’s little sister up to her hip, her mother started for the stairs. “I guess I’m going to have to give her a quick bath. Somehow she managed to get oatmeal in her hair.”
“I’ll finish the dishes and pull out the jelly jars,” Tiny offered. Anything to have a little bit of peace and quiet.
“Danke, daughter. Yes, you do that. But do a little bit of thinking while you’re at it, okay?”
“All right, Mamm.”
As she watched her mother head upstairs, she thought about Joel, with his wholesome good looks and sweet, if somewhat inattentive, manner. She’d been so excited to go visit him at work. He was finally making a move, and she’d been waiting ever so long for him to do just that.
But the more she thought, the more she realized that it had never occurred to her to wonder if she didn’t deserve a little bit more from an almost-boyfriend. Which made her start analyzing herself, something she wasn’t particularly fond of doing.
As she washed the breakfast dishes and prepared to sterilize the jelly jars, Tiny allowed herself the benefit of self-reflection. Why on earth was she not more intrigued by Luke Yoder? He was handsome, kind, and so steady and sure. He even had his own house—he was a catch indeed. Joel was so very different, and that was putting it mildly.
So, why did he still make her heart race whenever he gave her even the slightest bit of attention? Why did he sometimes make plans and then cancel them because he “suddenly had to work”?
Why had she never questioned that? Was it because she loved Joel so much… or because she was afraid not to love him?
As the answer churned in her mind, she put the kettle on and sat down. She needed to think about this for a moment.
Maybe a long one.
six
• RULE #6 •
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. That’s what the Internet is for.
It was their third lesson. But even though they’d barely sat down in the workroom at the back of the sewing shop, Aaron was already getting the feeling that something wasn’t quite right with Kayla. She looked pale and seemed a little bit lethargic. He hoped she wasn’t sick.
“Did you have any questions about last week’s lessons?” Kayla asked as she sat down across from him with a sigh, almost as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“I don’t have any questions.”
Her blue eyes sharpened. “Sure?”
“I’m sure. No questions, beyond realizing that there are going to be a great many words on that test that I don’t understand,” he quipped, trying to make a joke of his lack of knowledge.
Kayla smiled back, but it looked strained. “All right. So, what do you want to work on today? More vocabulary or math?” Just as he opened his mouth to tell her, she flipped through the study booklet and spoke some more. “Or government?” she suggested. “We could talk about the division of power in the federal government.” At last she paused and looked up at him. “Do you want to do that?”
Aaron was about as interested in the federal government as he was interested in getting a hole in his head. But since Kayla was acting like that was her preference, he said, “Government is good.”
“Okay.” Still all business, she flipped through the booklet and pulled out a pencil. “Now, the first thing you need to understand are the checks and balances that are in place.” She paused. “You had better write this down.”
He opened up his notebook and started writing as quickly as he could in pencil.
After she glanced at his chicken-scratched notes, she continued, speaking at a rapid-fire pace. In minute detail, she went over the legislative, executive, and judicial branches.
All of it was unfamiliar, and little of it made sense. Realizing just how big of a goal he had, Aaron wondered for about the seven hundred twenty-first time if he was stupid for even trying to do something so difficult.
“Aaron?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you, ah, ready now?”
He picked up his pencil again. “Sorry. My mind drifted off, I guess.”
“It is a lot.” Her expression was sympathetic, but his ineptitude didn’t seem to slow her down any. On and on Kayla continued. Every so often, she would pause, waiting for him to keep up before droning on again.
Aaron pretended not to be embarrassed that he was probably misspelling every other one of the words he was writing down.
But his mistakes weren’t what had his attention. No, it was that everything about Kayla seemed so different today. So much more distant from the way she’d acted during their first two lessons. He wondered what was going on… Then, of course, he started worrying that he’d done something wrong.
“Now that we’ve gone over the details about veto powers, we can tackle—”
“Kayla, what is going on with you?”
He’d already written seven pages, and his hand was starting to cramp. He no longer wanted to pretend he cared about whether they lived in a democracy or a dictatorship.
She froze. “What do you mean?”
She sounded defensive, but just as he would with Tiny, he wasn’t going to back down and pretend nothing was the matter. That never did anyone any good. “You seem really different than you have the last two weeks. It’s obvious that something is going on. What is it? Are you sick? Or, are you upset with me? Did I do something to offend you?”
She paused for a moment before shaking her head. “Nee, it’s nothing to do with you. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“I might not know the branches of government as well as you do, but I’m not an idiot. If you don’t want to tell me what’s going on, then don’t. But don’t tell me not to care. I mean, we’re friends now, right?”
She inhaled sharply. “Jah. I guess we are.” When he raised his eyebrows, she kind of shook herself. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I suppose I have been acting rather distracted and rude. I’ll try to be better. Now—”
“Nee, Kayla. I’m not complaining about having a grumpy teacher. I’m more concerned about you. You seem…” He searched for the appropriate word and wished he knew more of those GED words. Maybe one of them would have described her better. “Preoccupied?”
She leaned back. She was wearing a light blue dress and matching apron, and her dark curly hair was springing in wayward curls around her face. The blue fabric set off her eyes, though he reckoned they were less the color of a winter sky and more the hue of a young blue jay’s wing. She would have looked quite fetching… if she had been in a better mood.
“Aaron, I’m sorry. You aren’t wrong. I am preoccupied. But, don’t worry. I’ll get better.” Flipping a page in the study guide she was following, she said, “Now, what do you think about transition of power? Do you have any questions?”
“Nee. But I am curious about your problems.”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
Okay. Well, that put him firmly in his place. He was let down, which didn’t make any sense. They hardly knew each other. Tamping down his disappointment, he pointed to the flowchart on the page. “I understand all of this but not so much about the electoral colleges.”
She flipped the page again, then launched into an explanation. Aaron tried to understand the ramifications of districting and conventions, but his mind kept drifting. He found himself thinking about how pretty her curly dark brown hair was and how much he liked the way she was so focused on the information that she hardly seemed aware of anything else.
“So, do you understand the differences now?”
“I think so.”
Looking up at the clock, she winced. “I guess we’re finishing in the nick
of time. Our hour is up.”
He pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and passed it to her. “Danke.”
“Thank you, Aaron.” Slipping the money into a pocket of her dress, she said, “Would you like to meet again next week?”
He nodded. “Yep. We can finally tackle math.” He barely held back a grimace.
“I’ll be ready.” She pulled on her coat. “Hey, Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever have any doubts about taking the test?”
“I do. Actually, I have second thoughts all the time. I’m pretty sure that even with all your help, there’s a good chance I’m still not going to pass this test. And if that happens, I’m fairly sure that it’s going to be difficult to deal with. Especially since you’re going to be the only other person in the world who knows just how hard I tried.”
“Why put yourself through this, then? Especially since you’re keeping everything a secret?”
“I guess I figure everybody has to put themselves out there at one time or another. I almost hope I fail, because then it will remind me that the goal was to learn something new and to try, not just succeed. I need to have hope.” He smiled, feeling like he was probably sounding like a syrupy-sweet card one found in a drugstore.
“Do you really believe that? That you need to have hope?”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t be paying you so much of my money if I didn’t.”
“I guess not.” She smiled softly.
They walked back out into the shop, then straight toward the main entrance. When they were on the sidewalk, she said, “How are you getting home?”
“I’m walking. What about you? Is someone giving you a ride?” He hoped so. It was late and getting dark, and snow was starting to fall again.
“No. No one is picking me up. I guess I’m walking, too.” She paused again. “Which way are you headed?”
He pointed to his right. “That way.”
“I’m headed that way, too.” She didn’t move though.
Feeling like she needed someone to talk with, he said, “Do you want to get a cup of coffee or something? We could go to Sacred Grounds. It’s close. I have time.”
“Danke, but I better get home. I told my father I’d make him dinner tonight.”
He felt foolish now. Of course she didn’t want to sit around and have a coffee date with him. “Oh. Okay. See you.”
She smiled at him again and set off without another word.
Aaron forced himself to remember that she was older than him. She had a whole life and probably only thought of him as a kid. In addition, she’d already taken this test, and as far as he could tell, no one had helped her study. She’d simply been smart enough. Unlike him. Even if they could overcome their age difference, it wasn’t as if she was suddenly going to like some boy she had to define vocabulary words for.
He shook his head before heading home. But after ten minutes, he saw a familiar face. “Hey, Joel. What brings you out to this side of town?”
“Hiya, Aaron. I’m on my way home. Why?”
“Seems kind of an out-of-way route.” Joel’s work was on the opposite side of Berlin. At least, Aaron had thought it was.
“Does it?” He shrugged. “I finished work a little early today and have been running a couple of errands. I had some other things to take care of. You know.”
But Joel looked guilty and he seemed to be leaving Jane Shultz’s property.
Usually Aaron couldn’t care less about what plans Joel might have had. But Tiny liked him a lot, and he could tell she was counting on him to step up soon and declare his intentions.
Because of that, he prodded a bit. “Were you just at Jane Shultz’s haus?”
Joel’s posture tensed. “Any reason you’re quizzing me, Aaron?”
“Not really, except that I like looking after my sister.”
“Tiny?”
The last thing he wanted to do was play another game. “You know that I’m not speaking of Rebecca.”
A look of guilt flashed in Joel’s eyes. “I don’t know what Tiny’s been telling you, but she has nothing to worry about. Not that it’s any of your business.”
Something still didn’t seem right about Joel’s attitude, but Aaron knew that if he prodded any further, he’d push Joel away. “Good to hear.” He smiled. “Sorry. I guess I’m still used to looking out for her. We might be all older, but she’s my little sister, after all.”
“I understand, though you are right. We’re all older now. Tiny certainly doesn’t need you watching over her like you used to.” After they walked another few steps, Joel said, “Your curiosity has sparked mine. Isn’t this rather late for you to be getting off work?”
“It is.”
“Want to share what you were doing this afternoon?”
Joel’s eyes were shining, and there was a new edge to his tone. Aaron figured he was due for it, too. “Nope. I guess we’re both destined to have a couple of secrets to keep.”
“Maybe so, Aaron. Maybe so.”
The whole conversation had left Aaron with a bad taste in his mouth, like he’d just sipped straight lemon juice when he’d been hoping for lemonade.
But perhaps that was what he deserved. After all, one couldn’t always squeeze for information and expect to find only sweetness. Sometimes one got something just as sour and shocking as one deserved.
seven
• RULE #7 •
Taking a class on how to put chains on your tires will prove to be well worth your time. Trust me on this.
The moment their plots of land came into view, Joel waved a hand and told his friend goodbye. Honestly, their departure couldn’t have come fast enough. Aaron, usually the most easygoing person he knew, had suddenly turned into a nosy busybody.
Though, that wasn’t really fair, Joel knew. After all, he was due to come over to see Tiny in just two hours. He wouldn’t have expected her to keep that a secret. Or expected Aaron not to start looking at him a little bit differently.
But the worst thing in the world would be if the Coblentz family ever got word of what he was doing. Odd chores around Jane Shultz’s house was definitely not going to be looked at with any favor at all.
Jane was a young Mennonite widow, a woman barely a year older than Aaron and himself. She’d married Wen Shultz, a widower who was not only old enough to be her father, but also in poor health. He’d died before they’d been married for a full year and left her with a large house and, folks said, a mighty sizable bank account.
To make matters even worse for the gossip mill, Jane kept to herself and hardly went to church anymore. More than a couple members of their community—including his own mother—seemed to take great pride in pointing that out to everyone else.
However, when Jane had first called his family’s phone shanty and offered him the job, Joel hadn’t felt compelled to refuse it. Not that he’d tried too hard anyway. As far as he was concerned, he’d waited long enough to court Tiny Coblentz. Courting her meant that he was financially ready to take on a wife, and because of his own family’s situation, he knew he wasn’t going to get any funds from them.
When he saw Jane in person for the first time, everything made so much more sense. She had multiple sclerosis and couldn’t get around easily on her own.
All he had to do was keep his extra part-time job a secret from as many people as possible. The only person he’d talked about it with was his father, who, though not one to give much credence to folks having nothing better to do than wag their tongues, had agreed that the job was best kept private. Daed had even gone so far as to promise to keep the news from his mother as long as he could.
He was glad of that, though as he looked down at his trousers, he kind of wished that he could announce he had been cleaning Jane’s dirty barn for the last four hours. It had been a thankless job, and he’d almost been bit by her horse and kicked by the donkey she’d adopted just weeks after Mr. Shultz’s death.
“Joel, at last you’re home,” his mo
ther called out from the kitchen. “Come here and talk to me. I’ve been wondering if you’d like me to prepare a basket for you to take over to the Coblentzes’ when you go over.”
“That’s nice of you, Mamm, but I don’t think it’s necessary.”
She poked her head out from the kitchen. “Are you sure? It’s just some orange marmalade and sugar cookies.”
Seeing that she already had everything ready, he smiled at her. “Oh. Jah, Mamm. The Coblentzes will like this a lot,” he said as he pulled off his boots. “Danke.”
“You’re welcome. So, when will you—oh, Joel. I’m afraid you smell, son.”
“I know. I need to go shower.”
“What have you been doing?”
Luckily, he’d already gone over a list of fibs that he could say with his father. “I decided to start taking a few odd jobs here and there for extra cash.”
“You have time for that?”
“Jah, Mamm. Don’t worry. Now, um, I really do need to shower. I canna be late for Tiny, you know.”
“Of course not. Get on with you now.” But as he strode by her, he could practically feel her piercing glare on his back.
This was awful. Beyond awful. There was no telling how long he was going to be able to keep this up. Unfortunately, he was fairly sure that it wasn’t going to be long enough.
* * *
It seemed that watching Joel Lapp cross the street and walk up the long driveway to their house was more exciting than almost anything else her family had done in quite a while. In fact, the only one who didn’t seem all that interested in Joel’s progress was Rebecca, and that was only because Mamm had given her a cookie and she was having a grand time smushing it in her palms and smearing it all over her face.
The rest of them, though? Well, Tiny reckoned she should have brought out the popcorn, they were so entertained.
Jack was standing next to their mother and grinning like a factory worker on payday. “He’s holding a basket, Tiny. Does that surprise you?”
She knew better than to ask, but she still did. “Should it?”
A Perfect Amish Romance Page 5