My name is Durex

by Umair Sheikh

  Not a Ferrari but the car is red LOL

  At that moment, Durex suddenly understood a truth: In the The President’s eyes, everything is vague and insubstantial.

  When Durex walked upstairs with Light Muller, they bump into May aunty who lived a level above them, she was on her way downstairs while holding her granddaughter.

  Upon seeing Durex, May aunty rushed up: “D, you finally came back!”

  “What happened?” Durex asked.

  “Your aunties, they have been waiting for you for one day!”

  “My aunties came?” Durex suddenly had an ominous feeling.

  “Not only is your aunties, also your uncles……”[1]

  [1] This sentence was explaining all her aunties and uncles from both her mom and dad side have come.

  May aunty reported an entire list of things, which made Durex’s heart sink, so much that she wanted to retreat and escape: “We…… should go back……”

  But Light Muller stopped her: “We’re already here, you want to escape?”

  “But……” Durex’s mind instantly flashed images of them being surrounded by her aunties and uncles, it was too scary!

  However, Light Muller didn’t wait for her speak, he has taken the first step up the stairs.

  “Wait a minute!” May aunty stopped them, and then placed her granddaughter before the President: “President, can you hold our Annie?”

  The President was speechless, the little girl had reached out her hands and milky said: “Tortoise uncle hug hug!”

  Uncle tortoise? Durex felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.

  May aunty busily smile and said: “Little kids are ignorant, don’t be offended……” And then she stared at her granddaughter, “What tortoise? It’s golden turtle!”[2]

  [2] : Rich husband; In ancient China’s Tang Dynasty, only certain high-ranking officials could carry the “golden turtle pouch” as a rank symbol, hence a “golden turtle husband” as the Chinese term literally translates, was used to refer to a husband with a very high social status. But today, it only means a rich husband.

  The little girl was startled before she started to laugh and cheerfully extending her hands out: “Golden turtle uncle hug hug!”

  Durex: “……”

  Durex originally thought that the President will be angry, unexpectedly he only hesitated for a moment, before he actually reaching out to take Annie off May aunty’s hands.

  Once the President carried her, the little girl was happy, she clapped and began to shout: “Golden turtle, golden turtle…… in the future Annie also wants to fish for a golden turtle……”

  Durex was really dumbfounded: May aunty, young children has to be educated!

  After an arduous journey, Durex finally made it upstairs with her “golden turtle.”

  They didn’t even have the chance to ring the doorbell, when the door opened. Then, not surprisingly, a group of her aunties surrounded and trapped the President.

  “President, I heard that this year the Light Enterprise stock will be very good, is it really true ah? Can I buy it?” Third Aunty asked first.

  Light Muller nodded: “Yes, you be rest assured and buy them.”

  “Great, very good, I need to buy a little more than!” Third Aunty was very contented and went off to call her husband.

  Second Aunty didn’t idle either: “Light President, I heard the Light Enterprise just launched a cheap family insurance which is quite a good deal, is it true? I’m planning to buy one each for my family members!”

  “Yes, you can directly contact our company’s manager, say that I recommended you.”

  “Really? Thank you so much!” Second aunty was full of joy and went to buy her insurances.

  “Grandson-in-law, your Light Enterprise real estate just release new property, can there a slight discount in the prices ah?” Fourth great-uncle was who ready to buy a house for his son came up and asked.

  “No problem, the price can be negotiated, I’ll let my assistant contact you directly.”

  “That’s great!” Fourth great-uncle stroked his beard and joyfully delivered the great news to his son.

  Once Fourth great-uncle left, third sister-in-law scrape up: “Light President, that insurance you just mentioned……”

  ……

  So, according Durex’s rough statistics, that afternoon, the President has sold two houses, a dozen copies of insurance, some stocks, even her stingy Second uncle applied for an Light Enterprise’s commercial bank credit card for his entire family!

  On the side Durex’s eyes were full of admiration for the President’s business mind, he even can make so many business transactions using the back door, very good! Very strong!

  But the thing that made Durex the most surprised was that she didn’t expect the Light Enterprise to developed further in other fields, no wonder before downstairs Annie wanted the “golden turtle” President to carry her. What kind of “golden turtle” is the President? He is simply the “Real South Africa Turtle”!

  Chapter 12 – Very embarrassed very cold

  After finally realized that she had caught a turtle with a strong asset, Durex’s mood was simply indescribable.

  She haven’t forgotten that their marriage is fake. Even though their marriage certificate is real, the wedding is real, hui men is also real, but most all their feelings are not real.

  After countless bloody facts constantly reminding her: a marriage without feeling is bound to be forgotten, one day, she and the President will divorce, they will become two unrelated strangers.

  Just the thought of this, Durex couldn’t help but secretly look at the extremely overbearing, vindictive, harsh and demanding President.

  One day this person will leave her, it should be a very happy thing, but why isn’t she happy? Is it because……

  Sh*t! Durex’s mind flashed a thought, she was right!

  She certain it’s because she thought the President is too strong, inadvertently she made the right capitulation mistakes, while ignoring her own knowledge of patience and perseverance as a young woman in a new era.

  Durex ah Durex, how do you accept being frightened by a capitalist after receiving well over twenty years of Marxism education of socialist youth? That’s right! You have to resist, and must not let the President lead you by the nose!

  At that moment, Dmama suddenly yelled: “D, it is very late, it’s unsafe to drive back, why don’t spend the night here? In a moment, I’ll clean up your father and my room, you guys can sleep there.”

  Durex’s eyes lit up, the opportunity to revoke has arrived!

  She didn’t wait for the President to reply, and spoke first: “Mom! There’s no need for this!”

  Again Light Muller besides her nodded: “This indeed is not very good.”

  It’s rare that the President would agree with her views, Durex was slightly surprised.

  Unfortunately, this is surprise wasn’t over when the horror came along, because the President added the following sentence: “We’ll sleep together in the other room.”

  The so-called another room is actually the room Durex used to sleep in, the entire room all together didn’t even make up ten square meters, in addition it was furnished with a slightly larger desk and a small bed to accommodate one person.

  One bed, two people, how are they going to sleep?

  For this reason, Durex was full of complaints.

  How can the President not discuss with her, and decided himself? No matter what, this is her home, it enough that the President have a say in his nest. However, now that their at her place she should have the final say! That’s not fair!

  “Just then, why did you agree with my mom?” Durex plucked up the courage to ask.

  “I did?” Light Muller raised his eyebrow, “Wasn’t it you that let me speak?”

  Not only is he a dictator, but he also shirk from responsibilities! Durex anxiously asked: “I have?”

  “
Didn’t you? But you clearly wanted to say that……” Light Muller suddenly changed the subject, his sharp killer eyes shot over, “Or do you think, I don’t deserve to sleep in your room?”

  Just this one glance, the momentum that Durex accumulated deflated like balloon.

  “When when…… I’m just afraid you’ll be sleeping in such a small bed, it’ll be uncomfortable……”

  “It won’t be.” Light Muller said nonchalantly, “It’s perfect for one person.”

  “One person?” Durex was frightened, the President didn’t want her to sleep the floor, right?

  “Otherwise, you want to sleep with me?” Light Muller asked.

  “…… I still like to sleep on the floor more.”

  And so, for the first time Durex discovered the floor in her room that she has lived for more than a decade was so hard!

  The cruel fact that once again proven, the drama on TV of the so-called golden laws and precious perceptions are all false, what the actor will be so stubborn and reluctant to admit their mistakes or defeats? She hopes he will eventually be led out of the bed, go to hell!

  In front of the President, all sympathy are vague and insubstantial, vague and insubstantial!

  When DLei fell asleep with full of grievances, she had no idea what happened to the President next would leave a lifetime impression.

  The clock in living room has struck twelve, Light Muller turned over in bed.

  This little bed made it really difficult for one to sleep, he didn’t know how this stupid girl used to sleep in the past. However, no matter how difficult the bed was to sleep on, the floor must be more difficult……

  It is said that once the night arrives, a person’s will is particularly vulnerable, which is actually true.

  Light Muller suddenly felt slightly apologetic.

  So, he plans to call Durex who was sleeping on the ground to come up, he turned over, and was frightened by the sight of the scene. He saw a person standing beside the bed, staring at him.

  “You…… why did you wake up?” Light Muller asked.

  Durex did not answer.

  “Do you want to sleep on the bed, I’ll let you have half of it.”

  She still did not answer.

  Light Muller finally found it unbearable: “Hello! Are you going to speak?”

  After he finished speaking there was silence, suddenly Durex rushed up, facing Light Muller she tried to push and bite him.

  Pounding the shoving for half a night, Durex suddenly opened her mouth, biting down hard on Light Muller’s arm.

  “OUCH AH!” Light Muller didn’t expect her to make such a move, he was taken by surprise and fell from the bed. As he angrily stood up, he turned on the light prepared to teach the uppity girl a lesson, however he was stunned.

  He saw Durex lying on the bed with her arms and leg stretched out sleeping soundly.

  Is there a mistake? This girl is sleep walking!

  Time: Early in the morning

  Place: The Kitchen

  Character: Dmama and Dpapa

  Dmama whispered, pretending to be mysterious, said to her husband: “Old man, last night did you hear any sounds coming from the room next door?”

  “There was?” Dpapa looked confused, “It appears someone fell off their bed during their sleep.”

  “Ah, you really don’t understand exotic style!” Dmama stared at her husband, “what falling out of bed, clearly we’re going to have a grandson soon!”

  “Grandson? Where is our grandson?”

  “……”

  “Mom, what are you talking about?” Durex yawned coming out from the room.

  “Nothing, nothing……” Seeing her daughter, Dmama immediately put away her mysterious expression, and deliberately asked, “my daughter, ah, did you sleep well last night?”

  “Last night?” Durex yawned once again, “very good ah.”

  Dmama is not willing to settle with that answer so she continued to ask: “Nothing happened?”

  With this question, Durex was awaken.

  Speaking of which, there is a very strange thing, she remembers last night she was clearly sleeping on the floor, how did she end up on this bed this morning? And she almost stepped on to the President, who was sleeping on the floor.

  Wait the President was sleeping on the floor!?

  Durex suddenly sober and awake.

  God, the President who’s not even used to traveling on the train, how could he sleep on the floor? Is it because of her……

  Just the thought of this made Durex confused.

  Chapter 13 – Sorry, I have motion sickness

  Once Durex regain her conscious again, they were already back in the car, the entire way back she was in a dreary state.

  Hovering over her head was the question she had tangled in her mind all morning, how on earth did she end up on the bed? And how did the President end up on the floor?

  Has she been wrong about the President all along, is he actually firm in speech but soft in the heart?

  Thinking of that, Durex’s chest felt tightness, she couldn’t help but steal glances at the driving President. In fact, the President is really good! His attentive eyes while driving is slightly mesmerizing, the contours of his face that was lit by windows shed light appeared very soft and gentle … …

  Aware of the rising glances from the side, Light Muller couldn’t help but frown: “What are you looking at?”

  She’s finished! How did she get caught? In order to maintain her lady self-image, Durex decided to look for an excuse: “Well … … What’s wrong with your eyes?” She pointed to Light Muller’s micro-swollen eyes.

  Hearing this question, the President’s face instantly darken.

  But a certain dull person was quite unaware of climate change and continued to ask: “And your arm, why is it so red? And here……”

  Finally, the President found it unbearable and interrupted her: “I was bitten by a dog.”

  Durex was taken by surprise: “What kind of dog that’s so violent?” Even dare to bite the President, it should be captured and brought back to be raised in a room.

  “A Chinese Crested Dog.”

  “……”

  Durex’s mouth twitched, the President never let an opportunity slip by to verbally abuse her.

  Well, she would withdraw her mistaken ideas about him, this man is a bossy, selfish and demanding, an example of a vindictive male chauvinism!

  She obviously didn’t care, but why does her chest feel slightly tight?

  Just when her mind wandered off again, suddenly a van reverse out in front of the crossing.

  “Watch out!”

  Light Muller suddenly hurriedly tried to avoid the van, but it was too late, the two vehicles have crashed into each other.

  However, to his surprise Durex who was next to him suddenly came to protect him.

  It all happened too fast, just a few seconds time, after the collisions, everything has been quiet.

  Light Muller closed his eyes and felt the person in his arms and also felt something warm on his chest, the sticky fluid flowed … …

  His heart was suddenly a total mess, he hastily opened his eyes: “Ey! How are you doing?”

  Durex moved, but she did not answer him.

  Light Muller’s heart flustered, he wanted to help her up.

  “Don’t … …” The person in his arms suddenly tighten her grip on his waist, she continue to stick her face in his chest, and refused to lift it up.

  “What’s wrong with you? Speak!”

  The person in his arms vaguely replied: “I will speak, but don’t be mad at me……”

  “Okay, I promise you! Now quickly lift your face up!” He was in a mess, he couldn’t imagine what will she looked like once she raises her head.

  Durex slowly raised her head.

  Moments later, the world was silent.

  He only heard the weak Durex apologetically sa
y: “I’m so sorry, motion sickness…”

  The bloody facts told us a new truth: When you’re sitting in the car and feel chest pain, be sure to get yourself a plastic bag, so that the person sitting next to you will not suffer. Forget ruining a suit, but wasting the President’s feelings then you’re finished!

  When the chauffeur drove Light Muller and Durex back to the villa from the Public Security Bureau, it was already dark.

  The President got out of the car first, his expression was so foul that you could smell it.

  Then, Durex timidly followed suit.

  Jason who was already standing at the front door waiting for a long time, upon seeing his boss he hurriedly went up. Once he walked nearby, he suddenly stopped and stared at the fierce appearance of Light Muller’s shirt.

  “What are you looking at?” Light Muller’s face was heavy as he spat out those words.

  “No … … Nothing…..” Jason didn’t think his boss would be so angry, quickly plastering a smile on his face, he tried to praise: “President, your taste of clothing has increased greatly, look at the yellow pattern on your shirt, from afar it looks like a dragon, while near it doesn’t appear so. Base on my years of research on art paintings, this shirt’s designer certainly used split abstract!”

  Walking behind Light Muller, when Durex heard this she nearly fell down. Since she grown up, it’s the first time she heard that her vomit can look like abstracts!

  “Is it? ” Light Muller narrowed his eyes, “since you’re so knowledgeable, I’ll gift you this shirt, don’t forget to wear to the company tomorrow.”

  Jason: “…..”

  All the signs indicate that, today the President is in a bad mood, in order to avoid being swept by the typhoon, Durex quickly had a few bites of her meal, and sneaked back into her room.

  After returning to her room, she opened the laptop that she asked the chauffeur to bring back from her apartment.

  This laptop has been with her for a long time, even though it was old, but the performance was good, it was okay to occasionally play a few games. It was better than being in the Light household and falling asleep from boredom.